A Revelation at the Sorting

Harry grabbed Neville and pulled him back to his side, "Don't let that arsehole push you around Neville, you're worth twelve of Malfoy."

Minerva was about to reprimand the boy for his use of language until she realised what he was doing and decided not to hear the remark, it would appear that Mr Potter had already made a friend and the way Augusta coddled Neville this might be the making of the lad. She led the new first years into the great hall to be sorted.

Harry and Hermione were too busy wondering how long it would take the redheads to get here that the sorting hat had finished its song and Hannah Abbot was heading to the Hufflepuff table before they knew what was happening.

When McGonagall called for Daphne Greengrass and Hermione was still standing there, the couple understood that any attempt at staying out of the spotlight was now about as likely as Umbridge making a nude calendar. Harry knew the magical world had its quirks and foibles but couldn't imagine there would be much demand for an 'amorous amphibians' publication.

"Neville things are about to get very messy, just remember you're our first magical friend and don't worry about any shit that happens around us. We can take care of ourselves, and our friends."

When his name was called and still no mention of Granger, Neville understood what Harry was saying, this revelation would be the talk of the castle, no the whole of magical Britain would go berserk at the news the-boy-who-lived was married, and to a muggle born to boot!

Neville squared his shoulders, "I'll keep you guys seats at the Gryffindor table!" he marched up to the stool and the sorting hat was on his head for less than thirty seconds before it shouted "Gryffindor!" His beaming smile towards Harry and Hermione let them know they had just made a friend for life.

Minerva had been staring at the next entry on her list wishing she didn't have to read it out loud, her gaze shifted to the two children who were standing holding hands and wished there was something that could be done to avoid the maelstrom that was about to descend upon them. She hoped Albus choked on his infernal lemon drops for forcing Harry to grow up outside their world, "Mr and Mrs Harry Potter!"

Minerva didn't think the dark lord turning up in a tutu could have drawn anymore attention than the young couple walking hand in hand towards her, they squeezed together on the stool as the hat expanded to fit over both their heads.

"Mr and Mrs Potter, let me be the first to offer my congratulations on your recent nuptials and say welcome back!"

"Er, thanks I think, can anyone else hear us?"

"Only the three of us are privy to what is said during your sorting Mr Potter."

That was good enough for Hermione who had a load of questions needing answered, "You know we came back in time, have you any idea how that happened?"

"A combination of effects Mrs Potter, can you remember what you said to your husband when he placed the Potter ring on your finger?"

"Of course I can, I'm hardly likely to forget that! I said I'll love you forever Harry, in this world and the next." A semblance of understanding began to percolate at the back of Hermione's mind.

"As usual Mrs Potter you are correct, your husband used similar words when he proposed creating an amazingly strong bond of marriage. When they then used the same dementor for both of you, your souls joined with such force the creature was blasted to pieces, and so I might add were most of the room's occupants."

"That doesn't explain what we're doing back here though," said Harry.

They could sense something that felt like sorrow emanating from the ancient magical artifact, "You both gave everything you had to give in the defeat of evil and were then betrayed by a magical community that didn't deserve you. You are the chosen one Mr Potter but misguided people stopped you reaching your full potential, with this young lady at your side our world could have been dragged into the new millennium. Instead, an event took place that saw you both flee the country and the scum clawed, lied and cheated their way back to the top unopposed, your work was only just beginning with the defeat of Riddle but of course you chose to support the love of your life."

Hermione felt this tattered old piece of cloth was insinuating that this whole mess was her fault, she'd had enough of being pushed around. "Again that doesn't explain why we're back here, could you please just answer the question, we had enough of Dumbledore playing games and not giving us the answers to last us two lifetimes!"

"The powers that be decided to send you back with your memories and powers intact, they understand that you'll be looking to apply some retribution but now see the necessity for that. For our world to survive the stupidity that is blood purity must be abolished, we need a revolution and you two have been elected to be its leaders."

"Shit! I never asked for, nor wanted any of this. Don't we get a choice?"

"Of course you do Mr Potter, but from young Mr Longbottom's demands to be placed in Gryffindor I would say you have already made it. You are both intrinsically good people who will not hesitate to make the difficult choices, giving you back your lives and each other was the least that could be done for you. As Hermione is Mrs Potter, married to the head of the Potter family, that ring would automatically appear on her finger, signifying her unquestionable and unchangeable status to everyone in our world."

Calling her Mrs Potter placated Hermione a little, for now. "Ok that's better than anything we've been able to come up with so far but shouldn't you get on with the sorting, we've been here ages." Hermione could have sworn the hat chuckled.

"Very little time has actually passed, communicating by this method is considerably faster, am I to assume its Gryffindor once again for both of you?"

"Only if you sort Ron Weasley somewhere else," Harry growled.

"Unfortunately I don't think I can, he has no loyalty which rules out Hufflepuff, let's just say his exclusion from Ravenclaw's a given while he has ambition enough for Slytherin there is no guile there."

Hermione wasn't going to stand for that, "Oh he managed to pull the wool over our eyes for all those years, I think he would fit right in there."

"I could offer you Ravenclaw?"

"With Cho and Marietta, no chance!"

"Hufflepuff?"

Harry was the one who scuppered this choice, "Justin and Ernie are worse than the Creevey brothers, at least I can ignore them."

"Well then I am rather at a loss…"

"Crawley."

"I'm sorry Mrs Potter I don't understand, that's not a house."

"Yes but my house is there, I say we get the fuck out of this place tonight and the country by next week. At least we'll live to see twenty."

Harry didn't need the use of language to know that Hermione's patience had finally snapped, apparently the sorting hat had cottoned on too because it suddenly shouted "Gryffindor married quarters!" before she could carry out her very real threat.

"What about Ron?" Harry asked before the hat could be removed.

"He shall be placed elsewhere."