Interlude: Leon Rauthier ~ A Fool and A Coward

It was in middle school, that I was able to live my life in a way normal children can.

A few years after leaving the camp, I was finally conditioned to enter school. With their help, I was enrolled directly at a middle school, my papers might be also fabricated. But that didn't matter to me. At least I can continue normally.

It's even an elite school that not many can just enter. "Power" is really something else.

Everything went smoothly, I made several friends and I didn't become infamous or a loner. They taught me to hide everything that I acquired from that camp, whether it was the information or the skills I learned.

Because there's no way out of there. Or at least, there's no normal way. I was also often monitored by men in suits that I did not know of. They said it was for safety, but I knew that they couldn't risk me spilling info about them or maybe getting captured by an opposing organization.

If it wasn't for my and Claire's father, I wouldn't even be allowed to live like this. Not after leaving that camp. Still, I ignored everything and tried my best to live normally.

Fortunately, nothing much happened aside from my own school matters.

2nd year of middle school.

I met a girl coincidentally. Her name was Anna.

At first, we became friends, I didn't think anything of her more than since I still had a complex of loving older women instead. At that time, I thought that she would be really beautiful if she were as old as Auntie.

Our relationship advanced further and further until I realized it. I was... in love with her.

Heck, my complex of liking older women was cured? No, I don't think that was the case at all... Maybe, it wasn't a complex in the first place? But the fact that I was more into Auntie than her daughter should say otherwise.

Anyway, with that I have finally fallen in love with a girl of my age. Congrats, me.

But there was a problem, she was the president of the student council and a top scorer. Compared to me who's still barely adjusting to the life of a normal child, she's leagues above.

So I tried, I tried and tried so hard. The hourly study sessions and the after-school programs that I took part in can hardly be considered normal at this point.

But I didn't care, because I had a "goal".

3rd year of middle school.

I became a top student as well. My friends naturally drifted away from me but I didn't notice it, or rather, I just didn't care. I focused on my one goal and pushed away everything that was blocking it.

Then, when Anna wanted to run as the student council president again, I offered to be her running mate to become the vice president and she accepted.

I... can only be considered as someone strange. Just for the sake of one girl, I threw away my original principle and worked too hard just for the sake of getting her approval.

Everything was calculated, and I knew the results and the margin of errors that would appear. I had fun but in a different way. Still, I had no way of knowing that at that time.

Slowly, I was near my goal. Then, came the day of the election. I gave it all I've got and with my natural skills of deception, I made us win flawlessly.

The other candidates probably hated me for all those glorified and sugar-coated words that I uttered.

It was the same day as our election that I confessed to her. For the first time in my life, I confessed to a girl. There's nothing more nerve-racking than that unless a war occurs and I get drafted as a child soldier or something.

Anyway, she happily accepted my confession. That was something I expected as well. At that moment, I finally reached my goal... no... it wasn't a goal.

From the moment I started liking her, I made decisions and actions that I deemed the best at giving me the chance of becoming her boyfriend. But now that I succeeded, I had a different feeling.

It wasn't a feeling of satisfaction over accomplishing a mission, nor was it a feeling of emptiness after reaching the finish line.

That's right... I was probably happy. That thought alone made me abandon my calculating viewpoint and I looked forward to the future as much as any other boy who had their first girlfriend.

From then on, we've gone on dates, studied together, did student council work together, and so on. It was a fulfilling and happy life that I wished it wouldn't end.

Still, just like many other middle school relationships, it was bound to end one way or another. And in my case, it's just worse.

On one of our dates, she led me to her place. It was bigger than I thought. It's probably just a bit smaller than a mansion.

However, as we got there, someone hit me on the back of my neck which made me unconscious. When I woke up, I was tied to a chair and gagged with a cloth.

The one in front of me was Anna, she smiled sinisterly like a villainess and uttered something that left me broken.

"So you are a child from that "camp", huh? I must say that you're rather exceptional. But... you're too "easy". Moreover, you even thought that I was in love with you? Ahahaha, that was funny. Well, maybe I did feel something but... in the end, I had the same goal as you. Only, the conclusion was different and you were outsmarted pathetically. Goodbye, Leon, our time together was sickening."

Anna left as she said that to me.

The anger and regret of being outsmarted by my own "goal" wasn't what I felt. A stinging pain erupted in my heart. I thought that I finally had normal happiness in reach but it turns out, that was just a small light to make the shadows visible.

So that's it? In the end, no matter what choice I make, I still wouldn't be able to run away from that kind of life. At that time, I simply thought that the world was against me.

The men who remained in the room began to question me stuff about the camp but I didn't answer, half of it was because I didn't want to give in but half of it was because I had no more desire to live left.

It was really pathetic, that someone like me would give up my life just because of a breakup. Well, it wasn't much of a breakup and more of a planned subjugation but still...

Out of luck, my Dad's men raided the place and managed to save me. 

The whole situation was planned by the enemy. The day when I wouldn't have any guards was something they had been waiting for.

Fortunately, a watch that my Dad gave me was apparently a tracking device. It's an insurance on the off-chance that something like this happens.

My Dad scolded me for not realizing Anna's intention but I understood nothing about it. In the end, I was transferred to a different city and my guards increased. 

I wasn't able to recover quickly so in that school, I officially became a loner. I avoided the slightest contact with anyone else and remained alone. 

In the end, I got engrossed in games and different kinds of media to cure my boredom. Since my Mom wasn't at home most of the time, I was truly by myself.

Time passed by rather quickly and it was finally time to move up and choose a different school. Because I had no drive anymore, I thought that things would still be the same. But it was different.

◇◇◇

Highschool.

It was another elite school where the rich and the people from the highest social ladder enrolled their children. 

My Dad contacted me after a few years of no contact and told me that he would enroll me in a better school this time. He's probably thinking that I will try going back to that kind of life.

Well, I just accepted it but I didn't really care anymore. I just entered normally and made sure I wouldn't stand out. Still, at that time I was already thinking of getting a job.

After all, if I didn't enter the military after coming of age, then my Dad would definitely stop supporting me. My Mom might stop as well.

Unfortunately or fortunately, however, I couldn't avoid standing out this time...

Someone transferred. A beautiful girl with light-purple hair and crimson-red eyes. She was the talk of the entire school. Coincidentally, I know someone with the same features.

Claire Angestel. Since her background is well known, she quickly rose to popularity.

She didn't know that I was also there yet but I also tried my best to avoid her. Still, since the pathways in the school are the same, I would often come across her.

Almost everyday, her lockers would be full of love letters, people approaches her to study, play, or even eat. She was hella popular.

Because of currently low self-esteem, my remaining courage of approaching her diminished and I simply tried to avoid her for real. It was very easy since we're not at the same class.

But fate is really cruel. One day when I was on duty of cleaning the classroom, she passed by and noticed me. I couldn't forget her face of shock at that time.

Or rather, I was also surprised that she still recognized me. At that time she asked me questions before scolding me for not coming up to her earlier.

When I told her the reason why, omitting the Anna part, she still got upset and told me that she would help me get back on track. Now hold on a sec, what the heck is that even?

"Operation: Help Leon become popular*!"

It was very sudden but I can see that it helped a lot. Heck, she even forced me to join this club full of the most beautiful girls in school...

But despite that, my eyes were all on Claire. Slowly, I realized what I felt, and what I wanted us to become but I never pursued it.

I never planned a goal and I never followed a plan. I didn't even make a move that would advance our relationship.

Because I was afraid...

...That I'll get hurt again.

...That I wasn't fit for her.

I see... I never became anything more than a coward.