Who I Am

I am just an ordinary average college student.

Contented and satisfied just by myself, I don't need anybody just to be happy. It may sound so boring but I like things to be on a routine. It gives me peace and security. I don't like surprises and adventures. I just want a simple life.

I like it when I wake up in the morning, I see my bookshelf right before my eyes. My favorite thing in the world. I am in my best mood whenever I sip my hot choco and eating my sandwich while preparing to go to school. I love walking in the morning sunshine along with the busy bustling cars in the street. It is my happiest moment when I am in the library and reading a lot of books. Alone and undisturbed.

I like learning. That's why I appreciate all my instructors and professors doing their passion to teach us. I admire people who do the things they love to do and yet, being a great contribution to the community as well. I like to see the smiles of all the students while having fun with their friends. I like to see the flowers bloom in the school garden, the butterflies hovering around them, the bees busy with their honey.

I like so many things around me. But there is only one thing that I really hate the most.

When I am sleeping.

It is my unprotected state. People are vulnerable when they are unconscious. I hate it when I don't know what is happening around me. I hate it when I can't see anything. I hate darkness.

It makes me think of the things I want to forget. Bringing all the memories from the past that I buried a long time ago. Sleeping triggers all my nightmares. The ghosts from the past always hunt me whenever I close my eyes to sleep. It makes me sick that I always end up screaming at night. Sweating all over my body, shaking uncontrollably. I almost wish for death every time that I remember it all.

I am doing my best not to be known by anyone. I hate familiarity with people from the past. That certain past.

I will not let my guard down. I will not let anyone know about my secret.

Keeping to myself is the only way to live.

To live a normal life.

My name is Hannah. And this is who I am.