Torn in half

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ *.☽ .* ☆｡ﾟ･ ───

Timeless City, six years later

 After preparing herself carefully and putting her PJs in the closet, Luna went to the kitchen, where Ira was. The smell of something sweet tickled her little nose, and she smiled. She saw that her mother was preparing some dough.

For a moment, Luna looked at her mother and then, without a word, stuck her hands into the flour, wanting to help. 

"What are you doing, Luna? Can't you see you're making a mess?" 

Startled by the sudden outburst of anger, Luna spilt flour all over the table and floor, and she remained tense, waiting anxiously for her mother's reaction. Ira's face darkened, and her eyes seemed to warn her of something ominous.

"Luna! Get out. Get out. Out. Of. The. Kitchen. Now!" she shouted, her eyes popping out of their sockets and pointing at the door. 

Luna clenched her hands tightly on the table's edge, her face turning pale, "Mama Delmy never acts like that!" Her voice echoed in Ira's ears, "I can always help her in the kitchen, and she doesn't mind!"

Ira stopped in her tracks, completely still.

"Who's Mama Delmy, Luna?" Her voice was slow and low, sending shivers down Luna's spine. 

She felt small, weak and fragile and wanted to hide.

"Where have you been?" Ira spoke through clenched teeth, making her shiver and fumble for words.

"I asked a question," Ira growled further.

"Mommy, where I go when I sleep..." She mumbled, her mouth barely moving in fear and instinctively taking a step back, but in doing so, she accidentally knocked over the bowl of flour that got scattered all over the place.

In a split second, Ira loomed over her like a hawk, catching and digging her fingers into Luna's shoulders, shaking her and speaking through clenched teeth.

"How many times... How many times have I told you there is no other mother, no other world? Stop that! Stop that! Stop it!" Her voice turned into a horrible growl, and she repeated the same thing over and over again, her eyes swollen and empty, as if she could not see anything.

It hurt. Luna clasped her little hands desperately to Ira's. "Mommy, Mommy, please..."

It was then that Ira stopped, closed her eyes, released her shoulders, and said again in a harsh, hoarse voice, "Get out! NOW!!!"

And Luna ran.

☆ .☽. ☆

Ira's hands shook terribly. She slowly slumped to the floor, leaning against the cabinet behind her, and buried her head in her hands. She shouldn't have given birth, or she should have given the baby away immediately.

She felt so absent, her nerves getting the best of her over the smallest, stupidest things. A feeling of heavy faintness wracked her.

She wished she could scream until she would lose her voice and cry until she would choke in tears. But she'd long ago lost that chance.

Her eyes remained dry, and her mind was clouded. Furthermore, she was aware her baby slept much more than any other, even at this age, and she was supposed to search for solutions and be fully present, yet she wasn't. She couldn't.

To shake her like that was barely enough; she had restrained herself from hitting her. At least that. At least she must be able to do that.

A few years ago, Ira had sought medical help for Luna. She vividly remembered the doctor's visits and the anxiety that accompanied them. The doctors had said that Luna had a form of narcolepsy, and they had given her a treatment that ended up being completely useless.

Luna didn't feel overly sleepy or find it difficult to stay awake; unlike people with this kind of condition, she was such an active child, always full of energy.

Yet, without warning, she would just drop to the ground, falling asleep as if someone had flipped a switch and she could not be awakened.

Also, she had noticed Luna often talked in her sleep and called out with fondness different names, which hurt because those were the few moments when Ira could catch a glimpse of her smiling face. So, she stayed away from her.

She would check to make sure she wasn't sleeping on the floor or, who knows, where, but that was all and nothing more Ira could do for her child.

As Luna got older, the episodes became less frequent. But she could not live a normal life, and Ira could not provide her with any kind of support.

Help was much needed, but she knew all too well that she would never reach out to specialists. They couldn't help her; she had fallen too deeply and irreparably.

Why was it so hard to act normally? Why was she brutally reacting to Luna's small gestures of closeness? Why? Why?

Ira slapped herself twice across the face, shook her head vigorously, and stood up once more. At least she had to feed the child.

☆ .☽. ☆

Curled up in her bed, Luna kept her eyes fixed on the open door of her room, her hands clasped tightly to her chest. She wished she could fall asleep but was afraid of Ira coming in again, in full range. Luna tried desperately to fall asleep. She longed so much for Mummy Delmyra that she could do anything to leave this nightmare.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ *.☽ .* ☆｡ﾟ･ ───

Ether City, the same day

'Finally!' Luna thought, opening her eyes in the so-much-loved chamber, and at once jumped out of the soft bed, tears streaming hot on her cheeks. The bedroom was still shrouded in darkness, with only a sliver of moonlight peering through the window, so she knew they would still be asleep.

She slowly entered her parents' chamber and quietly slipped into bed beside her mother. Her father had an arm under Mom's head, and she could hear his soft snore behind her.

Delmyra hugged her and automatically took her in. "Had you a woeful dream anew, Moon, darling?" she whispered.

"Yeah." Her voice was tiny. She wanted to hide and erase herself from that nightmarish world.

Delmyra embraced her again, gently stroking her head.

"Mummy, why do some folks yell instead of speaking calmly?"

 After a pause and another tight embrace, Mother replied, "Fatigue and worries can often make people react differently than they would like to."

Luna understood her mother Delmy partly, but not completely. In a firm yet calm voice, she could show her what to do if she did something wrong. How to do it right the next time. Luna failed to understand why mother Ira had to shout and get violent about the same things. The warm and affectionate arms squeezed and caressed her. Nestling her cheek against the little girl's, Mom whispered her favorite poem into her ear.

"Drowsy birds at even gliding,

 Round about their nests alight,

 In among the branches hiding...

 Dear, good night!

Silence through the forest creeping,

 Lullaby, the river sighs

 In the garden, flowers are sleeping.

 Close your eyes!

Glides the swan among the rushes.

 To its rest, where moonlight gleams,

 And the angel's whisper hushes...

 Peaceful dreams!

O'er the sky, stars without number,

 On the earth, a silver light

 All is harmony and slumber.

 Dear, good night! "*

And the little girl fought hard not to fall asleep; she didn't want to go back. She wanted to be "here" forever. not having to go "there" again.