Chp.18: Teach me!

Haku woke up after a few hours. Judging by the fact that none of the gladiators hadn't gotten up yet, it was most likely still early. He already felt at full strength: after all, dragons didn't need to sleep very long. While he was in the Karbraland Great Forest Haku had studied the ogres, and he determined that they needed about eight hours of sleep to be truly rested. Most likely it shouldn't have been much different for the other newcomers either. Instead, he and his siblings needed only five hours of sleep when they were in the forest. However, the more Haku grew, the more this time decreased. Now, just sleeping two or three hours was enough for him. Sleeping longer was more of a whim than a real physical need, and often it was just due to boredom.

He had calculated that gladiators normally got up around seven in the morning. Maybe that day, after all the excitement of that night, they would have gotten out of bed later than usual, but still if none of them were still awake then most likely it wasn't that time yet. Summing up, it almost certainly must have been six in the morning. Which meant he still had some time before they started pacing around the dorm and making noise. Perhaps he could take advantage of the opportunity to sleep a little longer, just on a whim.

He started to stretch to get comfortable, but realized there was something on top of his paw. He looked down in annoyance and saw that Misune had grabbed onto his right forepaw until he was almost clambering over it. She probably did it unconsciously while she was sleeping, since Haku doubted that when she was awake she would be self-harming enough to do such a thing. Haku had always made it clear that he didn't want to be touched without specific authorization; his body needed its space. Therefore, Misune probably stirred in her sleep and held on to the paw, and wrapped herself around it while she slept. To Haku she vaguely reminded of a wolf cub cuddling next to its mother.

Haku felt the urge to chase her away; it would have been enough for him to wave his paw to shake her off. However, he held back. He didn't know why, but he thought it was best to let her sleep a little longer. The more he looked at her, the more Misune reminded him of his siblings. Kotaru, Tikka and Teramon had hugged each other in a very similar way when they were excluded from meals. And when they'd left their mother's territory, his siblings had always slept that way: usually in groups of two or three, or even more, but they had always slept together. It was Haku the one who preferred to sleep alone. Even though Darbi and some of his sisters had sometimes offered to sleep with them, he had always refused.

Haku had always been convinced that he behaved like this because of his solitary nature. In reality, after more than a year, he had realized that his was just fear. Haku had been afraid to open up too much with his siblings, fearing getting hurt, and this eventually led him to lose the trust of most of his family and have a real crisis. Perhaps, if he had been a little more open with his siblings, he could have avoided that situation. Maybe he would have avoided many things...

He couldn't know. But he knew for sure that now he regretted never sleeping with his siblings. He would have given anything to feel the warmth of their bodies next to him, just one more time. It was really strange to refuse something all your life and then suddenly want it when you lost it... but after all emotions were something incomprehensible, Haku had understood it for a long time. And for the same reason, it was impossible for him to understand the feelings he now had for his slave.

They were... strange. There was no other word to describe them. When trying to figure out what Misune meant to him, Haku realized that the answer was nothing. The half-elf was nothing to him. He could have killed her, used her, tricked her, or eaten her without any remorse. Yet at the same time the thought of someone else doing those things to her made him seethe with rage. Haku had never felt such conflicting emotions, least of all towards a newcomer.

Haku had always only bonded with his brothers and sisters. No one else had ever entered his life enough to create a strong feeling to unite them. The only newcomer with whom Haku had anything more than just hunt, kill and devour was Sarpa, and theirs had been a simple partnership. Haku had never felt any feelings of friendship for Sarpa, and would never have any problem killing him. However, he had to admit that he had grown a little fond of the ogre, and he missed not being able to continue plotting with him to defeat his enemies or take the throne.

Maybe the difference was the time we spent together? Haku had only spent a few months with Sarpa, and during those months they had seen each other very few times. Misune, by contrast, had been almost constantly by his side for more than a year. Perhaps, unconsciously, he had developed a sort of attachment towards her, and he didn't like the idea of ​​someone taking her away from him or making her suffer.

Haku couldn't understand it. Emotions were completely an uncharted territory for him, and perhaps he was afraid to explore it. It was much easier to rely on his simple and infallible logic than on something as unpredictable as emotions.

As he was thinking about this, Misune let out a moan and slowly opened her eyes. Haku thought that maybe he made a sudden movement, or maybe his heavy breathing woke her up. In any case, the slave girl yawned and looked around. When she realized where she was, she let out a little cry and immediately pulled away from the dragon's paw. "I... I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I... I won't do it again! I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! I won't..."

"Calm down, I'm not angry" Haku said. "But never touch me again without my consent"

"Cer... Certainly, sir!" Misune replied nodding vigorously. Haku ignored that show of submission. "Are you better now?" he asked.

Misune bit her lip. Haku could clearly see her fists clenching. Evidently what had happened the night before was still well engraved in her mind. It wasn't that surprising: Misune had suffered a real trauma, and it would probably take years for her to fully recover from it. "It... It still hurts" she said, and from the way she said it, Haku understood that she referred to the physical pain.

"Before I was locked here, I used to have many healing potions, but now I have none. I'm afraid we can only wait for it to pass by itself" Haku muttered trying not to make the situation seem too bad.

But contrary to his expectations, Misune seemed scared rather than consoled: "I... I will get well soon, I assure you! You don't have to worry! I will work as usual and..."

"Can you please stop this complain!?" Haku snapped. "I won't kill you if you can't work for a while, okay? After what happened, you need to get some proper rest. Stop acting like I'm going to eat you any minute. I've told you so many times before, dragons only kill when provoked or when they're hungry. Until you're stupid enough to want to attack me, I'll have no reason to hurt you. Besides, do you think I'd eat you? I don't know if you've noticed it, but you're just skin and bones. There is no fat on you. I have much more substantial meat here with me, so why should I eat you? Stop shaking like a leaf at my every word and try to calm down!"

Haku thought maybe he exaggerated a bit: perhaps it wasn't necessary to use details so macabre knowing how sensitive Misune was. But his words had the desired effect: the slave girl stopped shaking and talking nonsense, and her breathing also slowed down. A guilty expression came over her face. "I'm sorry" she said. "You have been very kind to me... I shouldn't have talked to you like that"

For Misune, that situation was nothing short of absurd, confusing, even surreal. She had already wondered several times if she was dreaming, or maybe she was dead and that was just a hallucination that the gods were giving her to make fun of her. The frightening and dictatorial dragon she had gotten used to knowing and which she was convinced didn't give a damn about her had suddenly turned into her protector, and she had become a murderer. Well, she wasn't actually sure of that either, since even her concept of 'murder' had been much questioned.

And then there was, of course, what Anur had done to her. Misune was doing her best not to think about it: she was sure that if she did she would burst into tears again. She couldn't bear the knowledge of what Anur had done to her. So she did her best to ignore the pain in her lower body, focusing on anything that didn't remind her of what had happened. Every time she thought about it for more than a second, a barrage of horrible emotions welled up in her heart: anger, desolation, and the horrible feeling of helplessness. As soon as she felt them she immediately thrust them back into her heart and she concentrated on something else, because she was sure she would collapse if she hadn't done that.

"Why?" she finally found the strength to ask. Why had the dragon defended her like that? She wanted to know, she wanted to understand. It seemed impossible to her that the dragon had only done a selfless act towards her. She was certainly not a dreamer and she knew that in that cruel world nobody did anything for nothing.

Haku let out a snort. Even though Misune hadn't specified what she wanted to know, he could figure it out for himself. "I don't know" he answered sincerely. "Honestly, I don't understand it either. It's… strange. I could kill you right now and I wouldn't feel the slightest remorse… and yet I feel the anger come over me as I think about what that worm did to you". He scratched his chin with a claw. "I don't know why I acted like that, nor what are my feelings for you. Affection? Sense of responsibility? I have no idea. I've never been good with emotions, not even when I was with… my family. So don't ask me and just accept my protection"

Misune didn't seem satisfied with the answer, but she didn't complain. She was silent for almost a minute, then she said: "Teach me"

Haku looked at her confused. "What?"

"Teach me, please!" Misune exclaimed. "I want to learn to fight!"

Haku thought it was normal that the slave girl wanted to learn how to defend herself after what had happened, and he had no problem with that. However… "I admire your determination, but I can't teach you. Have you forgotten what I am?"

"Yes, you're the king of the arena! You're the one who hasn't lost a single battle since he's been here, the mightiest gladiator alive!" Misune exclaimed, as if she expected the flattery to convince him.

"Yes, but above all I'm a dragon!" Haku replied. "I fight like a dragon, and I have no idea how to teach a newcomer. You don't have teeth, you don't have claws, you don't even have a tail or horns. And even if you toughen your body in a thousand possible ways, you'll never reach a decent power level. If you want to be able to defend yourself, you need to find someone that can teach you how to manipulate mana"

For newcomers, it was impossible to get strong without using mana. Their bodies, no matter how trained, couldn't surpass the level copper. The only way to progress to the next levels was to use mana to strengthen their bodies or cast magic. Haku, on the other hand, relied only on his physical strength. To dragons, their bodies were a weapon. Also, Haku had no idea how to use mana, so he couldn't teach Misune anything.

The half-elf looked disappointed. "You really can't teach me anything?" she asked in a thin voice, as if hoping for a negative answer.

Haku was rather annoyed by that insistence, but he avoided expressing it. Maybe, he thought, he could try teaching Misune how to use runes… no, that was too dangerous. Someone could have found out. It had to be said though that if Misune got stronger she could be useful for him to escape... it was a possibility he had never considered, but maybe he could use it. "I'll think about it. Maybe I'll come up with something" he said in the end, and Misune's eyes gleamed as if they were two torches. "I won't promise you anything anyway" Haku hastily pointed out, not wanting to give her false hopes.

"O-Of course! Thank you, sir!" Misune exclaimed barely holding back her happiness. For her, just the fact that the dragon would consider teaching her anything was a victory. She didn't care what he would teach her, even dark magic or necromancy would be fine: she no longer wanted to feel helpless and unable to protect herself.

"Wipe that smile off your face, I told you I won't promise you anything!" Haku grumbled. "Go back to sleep now. It's still early and you definitely need to rest"

If sleeping for a couple of hours was enough for Haku, the same couldn't be said of Misune. The half-elf welcomed the dragon's offer and lay down again, quickly falling asleep again.