9: I hate you right now

"H-Hobibi?" Taehyung asked softly while waking up still sleeping on top of Hoseok, "What happened?...." Taehyung very slowly got up and suddenly felt the radiating pain in his buttocks, remembering everything.

"Taebae.... go back to sleep." Hoseok complained with his deep morning voice, "You fucking bastard...."

"What?" Hoseok asked suddenly awake, he's definitely not used to that.

"You fucking bastard!!!" Taehyung yelled jumping up and running towards the bathroom, still naked. He looked at himself in the mirror, his butt was basically purple with bruises, dried blood covering his thighs, sticky tummy from the cum. A perfect picture, which is what Hoseok took with his phone.

In return Taehyung turned to him and slapped him hard, his hand imprinting itself onto his cheek.

"What was that for?!" Hoseok asked also completely naked.

"What was it for?! WHAT WAS IT FUCKING FOR?!!" Taehyung slapped Hoseok again then pushed him onto the door case in order to get passed him and into the room. "I'LL FUCKING TELL YOU WHAT ITS FOR YOU COMPLETE AND TOTAL PERVERT!!!!" He continued yelling feeling completely disgusted, with himself. He begged Hoseok to screw him, he knew that he was the pervert but he couldn't admit that. Not after what Hoseok did to him.

"Look, I know it's bad. But it's just a one time thing, you're overreacting."

"HOW THE FUCK AM I OVERREACTING?!!!" Taehyung scolded desperately trying to get his clothes back on. "GET DRESSED!!!"

"Alright! Stop yelling." Hoseok said annoyed, the whole hotel probably knew by now. That was if the walls weren't that thick, not much noise could enter or exit through the walls.

"You're right, I'll stop yelling because I'm never talking to you ever again."

"You don't remember the fact that YOU begged ME to fuck you? Its not my fault." Hoseok said putting on his plain black boxerbriefs.

"How is it not your fault? You not only knew that I was fucking drugged but you did it multiple times! I wasn't in my right my mind. You could've guessed that by how an alpha was being fucking submissive." Taehyung started tearing up from embarrassment, shame, anger and pain.

He never thought that this would actually happen. He didn't want it to happen like this.

"I'm sorry, okey? I was drunk too."

"YOU WERE A BIT TIPSY! And for three hours?! That's how long it took you to fuck me five times! My ass fucking hurts!"

"Stop cussing."

"Fuck fuck pussy ass cunt and shit." Taehyung cussed his teeth out knowing Hoseok doesn't like it, in return Hoseok grabbed him by the throat only wearing his underwear and jeans.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Taehyung slapped Hoseok once again this time pushing him into the wall too.

"Look, I understand that you're upset but-"

"No! You don't fucking understand! You weren't the one being rapped by his literal brother!"

"First of all, you not only begged me to do it but you also gave me complete consent. Second of all, like you said, we're not related by blood."

"You might as well go screw with mother then! She's not blood, would you do that too?! You're fucking disgusting!"

"Its just one night, why are you this upset?"

"Its not just about that! You took my virginity, you took my dignity, you literally took my dominance! I'm an alpha, I don't have submission anywhere in my body and you took advantage of me when I was literally barely functional. Thats what I'm so upset about. Because you're right, it's just one night. And I promise you if you ever touch me again I'll make you disappear irl! But something like this scars! And I'm never going to be able to get rid of that. And you don't even give a fuck!" Taehyung's eyes let go of waterworks while Hoseok watched him get dressed not wanting to say anything more, he'd just make it worse.

"You fucking bastard, do you at least understand the reason why I'm crying?...."

"I understand, I'm sorry. I really am, I wasn't thinking." Hoseok tried to walk closer to Taehyung but he just got another heartless "Stay away from me."

"You weren't thinking, no. You were a little drunk, yes. But that's no excuse, I'm an alpha.... and you completely ignored that! My body isnt made to be fucked by anyone, how would you feel if you were bottom? Would you forgive and forget?...."

"Tae-"

"No, I don't want to see you right now.... please leave me alone and don't come back until I say so." Taehyung said turning around to face the window, but Hoseok didn't leave. He just walked closer to Taehyung and back hugged him.

"I understand, you're humiliated. But you don't have to be, I promise I won't tell anyone and I don't view you as anyless of an alpha."

"You still don't get it, I don't care about what you view me as. I care about what I think. Is my opinion not important? Of course its nog, all that's important to you is guns and sex. You don't care about anything else. You don't care about me, you don't care about my feelings. You don't care at all. And that hurts more then anything else. The fact that you can't even see why I might be upset, you're completely disgusting," Taehyung pushed Hoseok away weakly and stepped away from Hoseok still facing away from him, "I can't believe I've been in love someone like you for so long...."

"What?..." Hoseok finally allowed himself to spill tears, he had no idea about that.

"Please.... if any of what I said was a lie.... And you care about me at all," Taehyung said then turned around d to look Hoseok in the eyes, "Then leave before I do because I won't come back."

With that Hoseok finally left. Leaving Taehyung a crying mess.

(That night)

"Knock knock, can I come back yet?" Hoseok asked opening the door, Taehyung was in the bathroom showering. However Hoseok didn't realize and walked into the bathroom looking for Taehyung.

"Oh- I'm sorry I didn't realize!" Hoseok immediately ran out slamming the door shut.

"Hobibi? Come back inside...." Taehyung said standing in front of the mirror staring at his reflection.

"What?! Why?!" Hoseok asked keeping the door shut. "Please.... just come inside."

Hoseok very hesitantly opened the door again, before Hoseok could say anything Taehyung asked, "Do think I'm ugly? Do you actually like what you see when you look at me?" Taehyung asked teary eyed just as he's been the whole day.

He very slowly turned around to look at Hoseok when he didn't get a response, he was so insecure right now.

"Don't do that...." Hoseok basically begged staring straight at the tyle floor.

"I guess thats my answer...." Taehyung smiled bitterly turning around again, but before he could his body was yanked the other direction.

Very harshly his lips became wet and sucked by his hyung, Taehyung was so shocked. He couldn't even close his eyes.

Instead of fighting back Taehyung let himself melt in Hoseok's arms, enjoying and savouring this kiss.

".... I can't believe you actually have to ask that...." Hoseok whispered against Taehyung's lips, he then continued kissing the younger this time more sweetly.

"Please don't," Taehyung managed to say pushing Hoseok away only slightly, "I don't need your pity...."

"Freshmen year high school, I kissed you to say good luck for your first day. You played it off and thought it was an accident." Hoseok started explaining holding Taehyung in his arms. "A week later, I kissed you again after you got beaten up by the seniors. I told you to stand up for yourself, and I kissed you while bandaging your injuries. My prom, I took you as my plus one. I kissed you and gave you a necklace with the word 'jagiya' written inside of a heart. That night we both got drunk and ended up making out for about an hour. I wasn't drunk. You were."

"Why are you saying this?"

"Just listen."

"No-"

"Just. Listen."

".... okey...."

"Christmas Eve, I made you come to me, and there was mistletoe right above us. I told you it was a coincidence, and that we should kiss anyway. Even though you said no I still kissed you, you were scolding me for the rest of the night and got flustered when I opened my present from you. Do you remember what it was?"

"Which time? You did that a lot...."

"It was a little bear, with a heart as the collar, I still have that bear. I even brought it with me along with many other gifts from you that I couldn't let go of. And then New Years came, I pretended to be drunk and kissed you in front of everyone. You slapped me through the face, told me to go to bed and sleep it off. So I fell on top of you, used you as a bed. The next day dad pulled me into his office, he told me that he knew everything. And that if I didn't want you to get into a freak accident then I'd stay away from you. So I started distancing myself from you, I barely spoke to you until you graduated high school. I begged your mum to ask my dad to let us move out together, for three months I begged and begged and eventually she mentioned it dad. Thats why he forced you to move out with me."

"I've heard enough.... " Taehyung tried to get away from Hoseok's grip but Hoseok grabbed him again and back hugged him tightly not giving Taehyung any space to move.

"It was mainly just an excuse to masturbate in your room and in your clothes and with your underwear, while acting like you make me sick. But then on your birthday you broke down because I forgot, you cried for days. I overheard you speaking to your mum, and I heard you ask her why I hated you so much. Apparently that was the breaking point. You thought I didn't care but in reality I just didn't have the courage to give you something, something really important. So instead I acted like your birthday didn't exists. And when you asked me why I hated you I couldn't answer, you thought it was your fault. You started ignoring me back, I got used to you constantly trying to get my attention. 'Hobibi, I made you a picture.' 'Look, hyung, I found a little doggy!' When you stopped, I hated myself even more. I already saw myself as a monster, but now it was even worse." Hoseok put his left hand in front of Taehyung, pulling his hoodie sleeve up he relieved several scars from cutting himself over the years.

"Please stop...." Taehyung begged, his legs giving out and slowly falling onto the floor still completely naked. Hoseok followed him down and kept talking even after Taehyung begged him not to stop.

"I tried to kill myself four times, and after a while a started using a necklace dad gave me to cut myself, it has a little knife in it. Its extremely dull but it's there, it takes several times to actually make a cut, so it can't kill me. When I realized I started doing it to punish myself, I did it everytime I said something bad to you. And eventually, I started liking it. And I did it for pleasure. I never really noticed until I saw all the scars I've been hiding on my arms and thighs. That's when I promised myself I'd stop hurting myself because I hurt you. And I started acting like an actual big brother, we became close. I just fell deeper in love. It hurt so much, I always thought that you only wanted my love as a brother."

"Stop it!" Taehyung yelled pushing Hoseok away from him. Causing Hoseok to hit his head really hard on the side of the sink. "Its too late Hoseok! You already distroyed us, now you have the nerve to tell me you love me?! How the hell do you expect me to believe you now?! Never mind believe you, how do you expect me to forgive you?! I need time Hoseok, why can't you understand that?" Taehyung scolded while getting dressed not bothering to look back at Hoseok.

"Well, congratulations. Now you pushed me away so much that I'm telling you this now; Don't fucking touch me ever again, I hate you right now and forcing your pety words onto me isn't going to make me forgive you any faster." Taehyung explained running out the door not looking back.

Hoseok was left laying there almost unconscious, the side of the sink was extremely sharp and it even cut him.

All he could do now was try to crawl to his bag out front. He tried to call for Taehyung but no sounds left his lips, he could barely move. His head hurt so much. He didn't know what else to do but to dail for Jungkook.

(In Jungkook room)

Jungkook was playing videos games with Jimin when his phone rang loudly.

"Gotta take this!" Jungkook said suddenly pushing the pause bottom. "Thats only because you are losing!" Jimin said making Jungkook stick his tongue out at him.

"Oh, it's Hobi. Hi- what's wrong?" Jungkook asking immediately noticing soft groans, all Hoseok could say before passing out was the younger's name. Jungkook instantly got up from the floor and ran out the room, Jimin of course followed him getting worried. Its not often that Jungkook gets scared when he did there was a good reason for it.

"Hoseok!" Jungkook yelled finding him laying on the floor, there was a blood trail all the way from the bathroom leading to Hoseok's dead looking body. Jungkook instantly dailed 112 not realizing he wasn't it Korea anymore.

"Fuck! Whats the number for the Hawaiians regions?!!" jungkook yelled at the lady in the other side of the phone, "Its 808 sir." She answered guessing that its from a Korean on vacation, which is true.

Jungkook hung up and immediately dailed 808, soon an ambulance arrived and Hoseok was taken to the hospital. He had a pretty bad concussion and had to stay there for a few days. Taehyung did visit him every single day but he barely spoke to Hoseok. He'd usually just sit on the ground and fall sleep leaning onto Hoseok's bed.

It was rather confusing as to why out of everything he could do Taehyung decided to take a nap. But Taehyung just being there was enough for Hoseok. And it was more then he could actually ask for.

(The last day Hoseok had to stay in hospital)

"Why isnt taebae here?...." Hoseok asked when Jimin walked into the room without Jungkook or Taehyung.

"Jungkook-ah is forcing him to stay in his room and sleep, he hasn't for days and collapsed this morning. So jungkook locked him in his room and is staying there with him to make sure he doesn't pick the lock or try the window."

"He hasn't slept?"

"Nope, he said something about not wanting to be alone, but he still didn't sleep even after both me and Jungkook stayed with him and cuddled with him. So I think it's safe to guess he doesn't want to sleep without you because he's always sleeping here but not in the hotel."

"That explains it.... why are you here though?"

"Because Jungkook didn't want me to stay alone with Taehyung for too long. So he stayed with him instead."

"No, I mean; why did you come? You don't have to be here."

"O-oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave."

"No that's not what I meant!" Hoseok grabbed Jimins wrists making him turn around again. "I just meant that you didn't need to come, but you did. And I wanted to know why you bothered"

"Oh," Jimin smiled lovingly and started explainig, "Because I didn't want you to be lonely.".

"Wha- you really are something Park Jimin."

,