53

Yang Sanhua truly didn't want to come to Yucheng this time, dreading the confrontation with her eldest brother. However, her father, Yang Tianhu, had pressured her both his roles as her father and as the Grand Marshal, insisting that she convince her beloved eldest brother to explain the rumors swirling in public ----- rumors of the Young Marshal kissing a man on the street. Despite countless inquiries directed at Yang Zaihua about what happened, he simply stated he had been driving at the time and was unaware of what occurred in the back of the truck. Regarding who the man Yang Chen kissed was, Yang Zaihua only referred to him as Mr. Zhou. Being Yang Chen's adjutant, he had never disclosed any details about his Young Marshal's personal life to anyone, even including his respected Grand Marshal. When the pressure turned to Yang Chen for an answer, he calmly confirmed that the man was, indeed, his lover. This revelation sent shockwaves throng the Yang family, who soon discovered that the man in question was none other than Zhou Di, the very man who was the savior of Yang Zichun.

The initial rumor had circulated for nearly two weeks but Yang Chen showed no intention to respond this rumor in public. Afterwards, not only that, but this rumor had evolved into more damaging accusations of Young Marshal, including his claims abusing his authority multiple times in the military. While most soldiers and officers fiercely refuted such accusations, the derived rumor not only tarnished Yang Chen's reputation in society but also undermined his prestige within the army. This enraged Yang Tianhu, who initially intended to travel to Yucheng City himself, but he was persuaded by Yang Jing and others family members. Consequently, Yang Tianhu sent Yang Sanhua to persuade Yang Chen to issue a statement denying this rumor.

upon arriving in Yucheng, Yang Sanhua learned that her eldest brother had relocated his office from the headquarters to an upscale ward in the hospital. With no other choice, she hurried to the hospital to meet him. There was no one outside the ward so she quietly opened the door and stepped in, realizing it had been converted into a meeting room. Just as she entered, the sound of conversation inside stopped her in her tracks. She heard a weak voice saying:

"You just give me the bowl so I can drink it all at once and get it over with, which makes me taste bitter for one time in my mouth. Now you feed the medicine to me spoon by spoon, which made me taste the bitterness over and over. You don't know how awful this medicine is to drink."

Yang Chen replied:

"It is my pleasure to finally have the opportunity to take care of you. Don't you think it is so sweet and happy? But the cost is quite high. Good medicine for health often tastes bitter to the mouth. If you find it bitter, let me feed it to you like this."

"Oh, my medicine, why are you drinking..."

Zhou Di's words were interrupted by Yang Chen's kiss as he simultaneously poured the bitter medicine into his mouth. Yang Chen then asked:

"Do you feel better when I feed you like this?"

"You're bullying a patient like this, I...."

Yang Chen interjected Zhou Di's words and asked:

"Is it sweet? Tell me, is it sweet or not?"

Zhou Di said softly:

"Sweet! It's Sweet!"

"Just a little left. Let's chat after finishing."

Yang Chen poured the rest of the medicine into his mouth then kissed Zhou Di once more. Yang Chen couldn't help but mutter:

"Oh, my god, it is so bitter."

Zhou Di smiled weakly and asked:

"Don't you think it is sweet?"

"Sweet, it is so sweet." After saying that, Yang Chen took a piece of candy and put it into Zhou Di's mouth, then took one for himself. He continued, "I'll move you a bit aside and I'll also lie down with you."

"Where are Chun'er and Aichen?"

"Zaihua and Guan Zhengtao are taking care of them. Don't worry about them. They will come here for lunch with us at noon."

"How about Guan Yunkai's corpse?"

"It is difficult to find Mrs. Guan's body now because all the corpses were buried together when the streets in Yucheng were cleared. Guan Zhengtao told Zaihua that once Yichun is liberated, he will bring his father's body to Yichun, his hometown and bury it in his family's ancestral grave. He'll also make arrangements for a proper burial mound for his mother and his elder brother."

"Is there any news about Chun'er's mother?"

"No, if you had seen the driver died at that time, I can imagine what she could have gone through. To be honest, I feel truly sorry for her. In order to conceal my sexual orientation, I cowardly agreed to this marriage. Actually I never treated her sincerely after she gave birth to Chun'er. Additionally, there is completely different lifestyle between us, far apart from my family's way." Yang Chen sighed, "I truly ruined her life."

Zhou Di sighed too and said:

"Actually I did the same thing to my wife. Since I was already with you, I should have annulled my child marriage. Why did I destroy another girl's life? But I lacked the courage to make that change and went ahead with marrying my wife. She is a gentle and virtuous woman. In fact she knew I have a lover. Even though there were several times when the kiss marks and love bite on my body were clearly visible, she never said a word or asked me any question, just looked at me with an disappointed eyes. She only took care of my grandparents wholeheartedly. I've always felt guilty to her but I had never told her the truth. I am truly a sinner to her."

At this moment, the door opened and Yang Zaihua, carrying Zhou Aichen in his arms, walked into the meeting room, followed by Yang Zichun. Yang Sanhua quickly made a gesture for them to be silent, took Zhou Aichen from Yang Zaihua and motioned for Yang Zaihua to leave. Yang Zichun obediently sat beside her. As Yang Zaihua stepped out, Yang Sanhua and the two children sat quietly on the sofa, listening to the conversation inside. Yang Chen said:

"But are we wrong? Don't we have the right to choose who we love? Yes, from the conventional view, it is common sense for a man and a woman to form a monogamous couple. It is the moral standard of human relationships. However, not everyone is heterosexual. How many unhappy marriages have been made just to maintain appearances in public? Men may engage in absurd behavior outside, but what about those women? They're forced to suppress their emotions, make love with the men they don't love and sacrifice everything for the sake of the men's families. In the mundane aspects of life, their original intentions and emotions are erased." Speaking of this, he sighed deeply and then continued, "Actually, when I got married at the beginning, I thought I could have a good life with Hu Suqiao. But gradually, I realized I couldn't love her because we were the completely different people. Of course my attempts to make it work failed. I also tried to pay attention to other women but I was indeed not interested in them. I knew I was beyond redemption and accepted my sexual orientation. Plus, Hu Suqiao's personality drove us further apart. Of course it was not entirely her fault. She could not find love from me so it was natural for her to seek happiness elsewhere, for example red wine and the parties. Maybe if she had been with another man, she would have been happier, instead of like us. It's my fault and I feel sorry for her."

Zhou Di responded:

"Although I don't have interacted with her much so I can't fully judge her character. But it's clear from Chun'er's words and actions that she cared a great deal about him. At least she didn't let Chun'er pick up any bad habits, still maintaining the child's innocence."

Yang Chen said with relief:

"Yes, I acknowledge she was a good mother. If she were still alive, I would choose to divorce her so that she could have a happier life in the rest of her life. But now....." he sighed and continued, "Dizi, During the time you were missing, you have no idea how I got through it, fear, sadness, regret and even despair. All these negative emotions weighed on me, consuming me day by day, but I couldn't show them to anyone, not even to Yang Zaihua. Once I revealed these negative emotions in public, it would affect many things, even this war. Frankly speaking I must thank the children. They forced me to suppress all of these negative emotions and let the children enrich my heart except for worrying about you. But is this really what I want? As the eldest son in my family, I have always thought about my parents, my siblings and my soldiers. Should I still be thinking about my children now? So what about me? This might sound a bit selfish but everyone has more or less selfish. Let me be selfish this time, okay?"

Zhou Di said with emotion:

"Chen Ge, to be honest, I am conflicted. Yes, I can accept our selfishness and I'm willing to face it with you even if it means death for me. But if our selfishness is not accepted by society, what can we do? If our selfishness will hurt your parents and siblings, what can we do? If our selfishness will ruin your career and future, what can we do? Chen Ge, don't think more about me but you are different. You are famous throughout the country and the commander leading the fight against Wasoku. You have your family who loves you, your parents, your siblings, your adorable Chun'er and a bright future ahead. No, I don't want to destroy all of these because of me. I can't let your reputation suffer because of our selfishness. If there is even the slight stain on you, my selfishness will be a sin. No, I don't want you to suffer any losses. I can sacrifice my life as long as I can preserve you and your reputation."

Yang Chen suddenly lightly tapped Zhou Di on the butt and said:

"Nonsense, you should be the one getting tapped on the butt. Listen, Dizi, you have to understand that your life has been connected to the lives of many people, including mine. Actually I know what my father will do when he hears this rumor. He is an old man who takes reputation seriously, including my family's and everyone's in this family. The rumor has been circulating for a long time. Normally, he should come here to talk to me in person. Do you know what he will do when he comes here? He'll try to convince me to issue a public statement to deny this rumor and, in private, offer you a large sum of money to leave me. If you refuse, he will kill you without doubt."

Zhou Di said:

"Then let him kill me as long as it protects your reputation. But there is one thing that I have to beg of you, that is, please raise my Aichen and take good care of him. That's enough for me." 

Yang Chen smirked and said:

"Don't talk about him killing you. Just the thought of you leaving me would drive me mad and make me do crazy things, even kill people. Trust me. I'll do anything if I am pushed into the edge. Dizi, I don't want to suppress my own emotions anymore. I've told you before that I would let you stand by my side in public and now I intend to fulfil my promise."

"Chen Ge, don't push yourself into the corner. I don't want you to do anything for me. If your father comes here, please just give in to him so that he can agree to let me stay by your side. I don't need to be acknowledge openly. Just being your sexual partner is enough for me. I know you love me and I love you too. That's all I need."

Hearing this, the tears welled up in Zhou Di's eyes. Yang Chen comforted him gently:

"Don't cry, my baby. How could I bear to let you live in the shadow? Look at the name I gave your son, Zhou Aichen, which means 'Zhou Di loves Yang Chen'. If I could, I'd also like to change Chun'er's name to be Yang Aidi, which means 'Yang Chen loves Zhou Di'. Please don't cry! Don't worry. Everything is in my hands. Trust me! I will handle it. Don't forget I am the Young Marshal."

Zhou Di chuckled through his tears and said:

"If you were to change Chun'er's name to Yang Aidi, do you think whether he would kill you or not?"

"A son killing his father would be a great act of rebellion."

"So wouldn't it also be a great rebellion if you defy your father? Please, Chen Ge, if the Grand Marshal wants to talk to you, please have a nice talk with him. Otherwise, it will ruin the relationship between your father and you. Let him accept me as your sexual partner. As long as I'm an important person in your heart, I don't care about anything else. I can accept everything else."

"I didn't expect you to use this argument against me. I'll handle everything, and I won't defy my father. Don't worry about this and please trust me! I will find the best way to satisfy everyone. You're still in bad healthy now and need to continue recovering so don't think too much. Understand? So there is only one thing you have to do for me, that is, kiss me now."

As Yang Chen leaned in to kiss him, Zhou Di pushed him away and said:

"No, you get up. I think it is about time for the children to come here so don't let them..."

Suddenly Zhou Di's gaze shifted to the door, where Yang Zichun was standing wide-eyed, catching Yang Chen in the act of trying to kiss him. Behind him, Yang Sanhua awkwardly appeared, her face red with embarrassment as she apologized:

"I couldn't hold him back, sorry!"

Yang Chen also felt a pang of awkwardness himself. He glanced at Zhou Di, who had turned his head aside, his cheeks flushed, hiding behind Yang Chen's shoulder, revealing his attractive neck in front of Yang Chen. Yang Chen cursed inwardly: "What an embarrassing time for this Dizi still manages to tempt me." Ignoring everything, he leaned in and kissed Zhou Di on the alluring neck. Yang Sanhua called out:

"Hey, Eldest brother, the children are here."

Zhou Aichen stretched out his little arms toward Zhou Di, calling out:

"Pa."

Yang Chen quickly climbed off the bed, picked up Zhou Aichen and handed him to Zhou Di. Zhou Aichen clung to his father affectionately. Then Yang Zichun broke the silence with a mischievous grin:

"Dad, do you really want to change my name to Yang Aidi?"