They look happy

Kyra Darvyn

After telling Eros and Kiara about my short encounter with the future Vampire Queen the rain started.

From our room window you could see the garden. The rain had started to pour down heavily so I walked to the window to see if the gods answered my prayers that Lavina's dress will be ruined from rain.

You could hardly hear a thing in the room as the sound of rain hitting the glass window and thunder is the only sound heard easily.

I looked down and the garden and saw them.

They seem happy.

They look happy.

Apparently.

Obviously.

They were both soaked in rain, her dress was ruined of course but....

She was bantering about what I couldn't hear because of the rain and he was looking at her lovingly with the best of smile on his handsomely sculptured face.

And then?

He.....

He what?

He did the unfathomable.

Ohhh speak girl

He kissed her.

That can be fathomed.

Oh shut up!

I don't understand why I feel like my heart is being squeezed, it's annoyingly painful. I've only felt this heart-clenching pain twice before now. But this one went as quickly as it came.

The first time I felt it was when I was fifteen going on sixteen that year.

Two years ago

...

I had a boyfriend Raven, he was older than me with four years. I liked the age gap though. It made me feel like I had a wise boyfriend.

Perhaps he was too wise for me -I didn't know I was being fooled. I was happily bouncing up and down like a child coming back from the market. Mama told me to buy somethings.

I was ready to deflower my garden and get a maiden tag that day.

He had been asking when we will do 'the deed' and I have always been hesitant about the topic. I had talked with Kiara about it -it was our secret- she said if I was ready I should go for it.

Taking advice from my younger sister. Funny right?

But what can I do.

"I would go to his house after attending to mama and surprise him" I thought.

His mother knows me but they wouldn't be happy if she sees her son and I going in his room together closing the door. She doesn't know me as his girlfriend though.

She wouldn't mind though as she sees me as Raven's younger sister and takes me as her child.

But by this time his mother wouldn't be at home. She will be at her shop selling fabrics and seeing clothes for people. She's quite famous in the ton for making clothes and selling fabrics. She even made a dress for me one time. It was the only decent dress I had.

Yes it was just him and his mother. I would have used his window if she was around not but today.

Mamas boy.

His father also fled. It was one thing we had in common -fleeing fathers- but for different reasons though. My father left for unknown reasons while his father was an irresponsible alcoholic that left because he couldn't handle his responsibilities.

I attended to my mother and started going to my Raven's house.

I knocked on the door immediately I got there and I heard an enthusiastic voice say "come in" it was the voice of his mother.

She's not supposed to be here. Anyways we could do it some other time but I'll still have to go in and greet her. She's a nice lady

I wonder why nice ladies get terrible men in return.

I opened the door and walked in.

"Ahhh Kyra" she shrieked with joy. Why is she so happy? I don't know.

"Good afternoon ma'am" I greeted smiling at her.

"Good afternoon, my dear" she replied. And that was when I saw Raven and some brunette girl in the small-sized living room.

"Hey" I greeted to the two not knowing what was happening.

"Hey" the girl greeted me with a very smiley face her cute puppy-like brown eyes lighting up the room. Why's she smiling.

Raven looked a bit nervous. Why?

Everything seems strange.

"Kyra you came just in time for the celebration"his mother shrieked again. Seemed like shrieking was her order of the day.

"What celebration?" I asked still feeling lost.

"Oh my dear Kyra, Raven is getting married to Alice here" she pointed to the still very smiley brunette.

I was utterly shocked. My mouth dropped open, I felt that heart clenching pain for the first time. I looked at Raven with pleading eyes but he was looking elsewhere, the creaked wooden floor now seeming like the most important thing to him. His behavior confirmed it was true.

It was no joke. Raven was getting married.

I didn't need him to spell it out for me but still "It's a lie" I said expecting it all to be a nightmare that I'll wake up from soon.

But unfortunately, it was my reality.

"No it's not, look at the ring he got me" Alice squealed with her overly high-pitched voice. The girl was irritating the hell out of me.

"Oh dear Kyra, that was the same expression I had on my face and the same words I uttered when I heard about it.... I can't believe my son is getting married, why not join us for lunch Kyra, we are celebrating ...and congratulate your best-friend" Raven's mom said. Yes she thought we were best-friends.

"Congratulations Raven and Alice" I said putting on a very fake smile with teary eyes and a clenching heart.

"For how long have you been courting her" I asked Raven. I wanted to know how long they have been together. I wanted to know how long I have been betrayed.

"Two months" he said and I felt sick in my stomach.

For two months!!!

I needed to get out of there before I cried in front of them and ruin their celebration that was a misery to my poor soul.

"Lizzy" I called out to Raven's mom -she had forced me to call her by her name- "Yes my dear what is it" she asked.

"I'll go and leave you guys to your moment of celebration.... You don't want me eating all your food" I said with a choked laughter.

"Nonsense! You know I don't care how much of my food you eat, afterall you are part of the family" Lizzy said grinning from ear to ear. She really was happy.

Who could refuse her?

Not me

And I was forced to stay and endure the most torturing moment of my dear life.

Lizzy didn't stop talking about how she'll make Raven and Alice wedding the wedding of the season -among commoners of course. She was a fabric retailer and a tailor so she'll sew their wedding dresses. She was saying that she'll give all the gossiping ladies of the ton -commoners of course- something to discuss about. The woman was already bragging.

I just had to smile and make small talks as a facade to what was going on in my heart.

And from that day I hated men -ecspecially Raven and my father- and I pitied the brunette, Alice .

I left that day to my house, I cried and cried. Kiara kept consoling me saying that it's better that I learnt about the kind of person he is now than after he might have deflowered me.

I guess it was a good thing.

Later he told me that it was a mistake that he was drunk and he slept with her and now she's with child and he will have to marry her.

I didn't care whatever reason he had. I hated him for it.

For five terrible months I was sulking. My body weight dropped drastically.

I felt awful.

...

And the second time was when my mama died.

He looked beautiful. He was so wet.

His smooth jet-black hair was dripping unto his face, all his curls covering his forehead and touching his full and thick eyebrows that's the exact same color with his hair. His white button up shirt was soaked permitting me to see his muscles and abs clearly. He looked heavenly.

Just by looking at him I felt my lady bits constrict.

I don't know why I felt that way though.

He was looking at her with so much love, smiling down at her and she was smiling back. And the sight of that made my heart clench. And suddenly I wished it was me.

What????

Get a hold of yourself Kyra.

I'm trying.

I almost forgot she was there her dress looked ruined but she still looked beautiful. She had no make-up on her face and yet....

Clayden is definitely marrying her.

I wish she gets a flu after this.

And like he could feel someone watching him, he looked up with so much speed that I couldn't leave the window before he saw me.

And within seconds our eyes met. He captured my emerald green eyes in his black ones -it felt like he could read what I was thinking. It felt like he was using his soul-piercing eyes to see through my soul and reveal my deepest desires.

I felt utterly naked under his gaze. It looked like I could hide nothing from this man.

He was doing things to me even when he wasn't there.

This was dangerous.

I have to stop this before it consumes me completely.

I saw his jaw tense when he saw me and his pale skin added some colour and my heart clenched say the sight.

My heart was doing a lot of clenching that I have lost count.

I quickly dropped to the ground and rolled towards the bed and jumped on it quickly and covered my whole body with the blanket -I looked like a ninja trying to steal a treasure- but I was hiding in shame.

I was caught in the act.

Was he angry that I was watching them. People usually clench their jaws when upset.

Gosh! I hope he's not angry.

I feel like a pervert. Or a child who was sneaking to watch his parents in the master bedroom.

I feel so ashamed of myself.

This weather is the best time to sleep so I lay in bed.

I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking of his wet self and if he perhaps was angry with me.

His whole being was invading my thoughts.

This is bad.

. . .

I woke up.

I quickly ruminated on the dream I just had.

Oh gods.

I'm now dreaming about the fellow.

I had a dream of what happened between Clayden and Lavina but what was different was that I replaced Lavina in the dream.

I remember wishing I was the one.... My subconscious granted my wish.

Oh no

I felt weird.

I felt wet. I felt wet down there.

Oh my gods!

I did not just have a wet dream. Did I?

But that experience was for men only.

It is annoying that I have to go through my menstrual cycle, now wet dreams?

I quickly rushed to the bathroom to wash myself before Kiara wakes up and starts telling me that she can smell my fanny.

I felt filthy.

I scrubbed my body with the soft foam-like sponge provided for me. If there was a iron sponge I would have used it.

I then soaked myself in a bath filled with jasmine oils. I stayed there for a while, came out and wrapped myself in my white cotton towel -that's now mine. I remember using clothes or inferior towels that cannot dry one up and I can't help but see how my life has taken a drastic change. I wish mama was here to enjoy all these things too.

I miss my mama.