Rollercoaster called life: quick rise and low fall

Sorry to say this, but fourth grade isn't a time I remember at all. I remember secluding myself since the older foster sibling went to middle school and I had no friends. Plus, I terrified the other students after what happened in third grade. Sure, I was bullied a little, but these bullies were testing my limits just to see if they could break me the same way Dodds did. I was forced to make a mental block on that side of myself. The only eventful thing that year happened in Spring. I lost my brother because he was sent to a residential treatment center. At that point, I became even more of a loner. I ended that year with straight A's and was accepted into Gifted and Talented for 5th grade. I was excited, but I realized my face couldn't show it. I thought nothing of it. Yet, I knew it happened.

5th grade was one of a few insane times of my life where I wish it could have been slightly more normal. It started out fine. I found a new friend, became a hall monitor, and got a teacher who was willing to help. I didn't expect it to last, but it became a new normal for me. Then, I met a boy known as Mario. His name wasn't Mario and he wasn't Italian, but he was known for wearing a Mario costume on random days. It got under my skin that despite all this, he was in a regular classroom. To me, he was worse than my brothers, and him being allowed to stay in the regular classroom was a punch in the gut to me. Mario was kind, though. Within 3 months of the start of school, I noticed I was being followed by a younger girl. I didn't know for how long, but I was caught off guard when I started getting random gifts. Each one was marked with a heart and the letters AE. I simply threw them away. I was a hard person to break, but this girl wasn't giving up. One weekend I was on respite the person watching us needed to return a movie to her niece. I decided it would help to get away from her house for less than an hour. We arrived at an apartment right by my school. I didn't feel okay but was told to return the disc. I walked up the stairs and rang the doorbell. I waited for two minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Then, that younger girl opened the door. I was too embarrassed to say anything, I just returned the disc and began to turn around when I saw her brother. She was Mario's little sister. I saw every connection at once and got away as fast as possible. The minute I got back in the car, I told the respite provider exactly what I thought. "Why did you set me up? I don't like either of them. They are not normal." After that day, I was surprised to learn I grew to love every insane moment that happened throughout my life.

Within a month of these events, the bullies who tried verbal abuse to break me upped their game. Every week I would be harmed physically by "accident", and the teacher would not be able to place any blame because she didn't have firsthand knowledge. All this was thanks to a rule put in place after Dodds left. According to administration, any incident reports done by teachers needed first, second, and third party details. That means incident reports dropped to 0 that year because the teachers "didn't see it happen". Yes, a lot of teachers abused the rule to not do paperwork. By Christmas break, my hands felt like I had needles in them since they were smashed between doors weekly. I didn't say anything because I felt like I deserved it after what I did in third grade.

I got back from break and was given a choice by my teacher. She saw I was reading Harry Potter like crazy, and the final book was just added to the teacher section thanks to references to death and gore. She gave me a choice of her checking it out and me reading it in a week for extra credit, or not doing it and messing up without an option later. I took my chances and read the book twice in a week. That teacher gave everyone a written essay, and that's when I realized she had this in mind when she gave me the choice. She was the only teacher to try to prevent an outburst. I did average thanks to my penmanship, and, with the extra credit, I received an A. The rest of the year went surprisingly normal until the last month of school. That month, every fifth grader was given a ticket to their own prom. The principal was trying to give the fifth graders a bit of fun after our TAKS scores were the highest in 10 years, but this was an odd choice. Sadly, I was forced to go. As soon as I entered the place, I knew I wouldn't like it. I didn't dance, was always shy, and was an outcast by choice. Then, I saw him. Mario was in costume and everyone joined him. I wanted to ruin him so badly, but I couldn't do it in public. I waited until the last day of school, then told him what was on my mind.

" You need to grow up! Stop wearing that costume, everyone laughs at you and I'm sick of seeing someone like you go by normally while my family is made fun of by everyone. You need to change, not just your clothes, but everything about you. And tell your sister I don't need her following me around. If she didn't see that your aunt wasn't successful that's her fault. I'm used to being alone, and that won't change. Now go ahead and leave, because you are everything wrong with this school." I vented everything, and when I was done, Mario was in tears. He left early, and after that, I felt a little better. Though guilt started to take hold, I brushed it off after finding out I was accepted to a computer camp for Gifted and Talented. That summer I learned how to code, and created multiple PowerPoint presentations. In July, I was told I would be going to a private school alongside a bully I hadn't seen in years. I was glad for the first part, but the second part felt like something was about to go wrong.

In July, I saw the older foster sibling go insane. A week into July, and he was sent to another residential treatment center. I was starting to see a pattern with the foster family, and it wasn't a good sign. It gave me an intense fear of the situation, and within the next year it would be tested.