CHAPTER 32

As a foodie, my nose is very sensitive to food, even if it's a mile away. I wouldn't know the exact ingredients in the dish, but I'd know what's cooking. My nose caught the scent of freshly smoked meat. I was wearing earphones, and last time I checked, we had no smoker or meat in the fridge. I paused my music and heard jolly conversations going on in the living room. I heard Maria's mom's voice, and I thought it was respectful to get out and say hi.

I put on my hoodie and exited my room. The moment I arrived in the living room, my eyes caught a glimpse of Maria's dad. He was talking finance with Jonathan since both of them worked as accountants and financial advisors in big American banks. He had not realized I was in the room, and so he was so immersed in the conversation.

Maria's mom did see me, and she seemed happy to see me.

"Hello Jenara. I had no idea you're here. How are you, honey?", she greeted me.

"I'm okay.", I said with a smile.

Maria's dad heard my voice and paused whatever he was saying. He slowly got up from the sofa like a kid who's been caught sitting on a place he's not supposed to.

"Hi Jenara.", he said, hands out of the pockets.

"Hello.".

"We brought smoked pork ribs. You like them?", he asked.

"I love them.". I responded.

Anything food-related excites me. And at that point I had already forgotten about the Christmas incident. Maria's mom opened the kaki bag and took out a huge chunk of ribs covered in a foil wrap. As she unwrapped them, juices from the meat dripped down and I almost stuck out my tongue. 

The yummy smell punched my nostrils, and before I knew it, I was munching the most tender pork rib I've ever had in my life. I was bewitched. My eyes said it all.

"Who made this?", I asked as I chewed.

"I did.", Maria's dad answered, a bit nervous.

"Best smoked ribs I've ever had in my life.", I said, and I meant every word.

His face lit up. Maria was glad I liked them. Our little misunderstanding a couple of days ago was still glued in her mind and she thought I might have held a grudge against her and eventually took it out on her parents. I'm not that cruel.

I had never seen a man nervous before a girl in real life. It was my first time experiencing it with Maria's dad. The way he behaved around me, how his eyes spoke on behalf of his mind, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. For years, I had seen myself as unattractive. Maybe because I was surrounded by some of the most gorgeous girls. I have the prettiest, sexiest friends and I do compare myself to them from time to time. I could see why and how guys would be attracted to them, but whenever I looked at myself in the mirror, I'd see a huge question mark.

Am I attractive? Can a guy really look at me and feel so driven to want to have sex with me? Am I captivating? Will I ever be somebody's love at first sight? If I tell someone I'm in my 20s, will they believe me or think I'm 40 or something?

All those questions hovered in my head, and his eyes did give me an answer. It was good to feel desired. I'm a woman after all.

When they were leaving, he walked behind everyone. Maria and Jonathan were ahead with Maria's mom, and he was behind them. When they walked out of the door, he pretended to have forgotten something and came back. I was wrapping the ribs to put them in the fridge. When I heard rushing footsteps from the door, I turned around. I found him staring at me, in his hands, keys jingling.

"Did you forget something?", I asked, playing dumb for my own safety, you could say that.

He bit his lower lip nervously as he searched for the right thing to say. I could see it was a struggle because he knew that he wasn't supposed to be there or say anything to me. But _

"Let me take care of you.", he finally asked in a way that sounded like begging, "Please. I want to.".

He knew I had no response to that and so he left as soon as the words escaped his lips. 

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