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Gravity falls : I am … Stan pines !

Synopsis: After a completely wild night out, a young man dies while driving drunk and ends up waking up as Stan Pines in Gravity Falls, without any logical explanation. Author's note: The cover is not mine, and Gravity Falls doesn't belong to me either. This is a harem story, but there's no pedophilia or incest here, and he won't actively seek out waifus. I'd also like to specify that the protagonist is of the heroic type (but not stupid, and he'll sometimes be a jerk). Small note: This is a crossover with "Inside Job", The Owl House, Amphibia, and Star vs. The Forces of Evil (not sure about the last one, but we'll see). Keep in mind that the multiverse is possible

Soul_Eater_0252 · Anime & Comics
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23 Chs

Chapter 3: Intelligence, a burden I accept

Stan's POV

Once back home, I put away my stuff and took care of the food.

*Knock knock* Sounds of knocking on the door

"Sorry for taking so long to open, Uncle Stan," Dipper says, opening the attic door.

"Here's your dinner," I say simply as I leave.

For now, I have to simulate Stan's behavior around his family before slowly changing it.

So, for the time being, I need to act like a jerk while also toughening up Dipper with some small tasks.

"Uncle Stan," Dipper called out behind me.

"Yeah, what do you want, squirt?" I answer, turning my head slightly to look at him over my shoulder.

"Thanks," he says simply before going back inside.

"What was that about?" I mutter before shrugging and continuing on my way.

I know Stan treats Dipper like crap right now and that he's more lenient with Mabel, but I didn't know his behavior could potentially cause Stockholm syndrome.

Anyway, it's good that Dipper might become closer to me.

"Alright, mushroom, let's do this," I say, taking the abnormal plant to start crushing it and following the instructions from my memories.

I could have just eaten it like Mabel's pig, but I didn't want to take my chances with a supernatural mushroom.

I'm not a pig but a human, and this object has a method of use for a reason.

I don't want to try to outsmart Ford when my life is clearly at stake here.

After finishing crushing the mushrooms, I spread them on my forehead before sleeping in a completely locked room to avoid any stupid incidents during the night.

I don't want to end up with an unknown super-intelligent animal.

...

"Oh!Damn , I feel like I have the worst hangover in history," I grumble as I get up from the bed.

I left the bed swaying slightly due to a balance problem, probably a side effect of the mushrooms.

I slowly made my way to the shower, noticing halfway there that my view of the world had changed enormously.

It was really strange, everything around me just seems more... logical. No, the right words would be 'obvious'.

Yeah, that's it, my environment seems more obvious and understandable to me.

I instinctively started heading towards Ford's books lying not far from where I was, completely forgetting about the shower due to my excitement.

I managed to finish Ford's books in just a few hours. I could clearly remember their contents; I clearly had a photographic memory.

"This is remarkable... I need to learn more and experiment more, but first," I quickly took a shower to clean up.

Once out of the shower, I got dressed and got some tools and electronic objects from my garage.

It's important to understand that it's still early in the morning and none of the kids are awake yet. I know they'll be up around 8 or 9 in the morning.

"I think this will be safe and functional soon," I couldn't really hide the excitement in my voice as my hands apply all the new scientific theories that have sprouted in my mind.

I'm using my newly acquired knowledge to try to apply these theories, and so far, nothing abnormal.

I'm currently creating a recording containing subliminal messages. My goal is simple: I wanted to influence customers to buy more at the Mystery Shack.

Surprisingly, creating this thing only took me about ten minutes.

"I can create stuff like this just after reading a few books about the mind and the influence of frequencies on living beings," I mutter, staring at the recording.

I was inspired by Wendy's boyfriend's CD to create this thing, and no, I'm not going to completely brainwash those who will listen to it.

Customers will just have a strong desire for something without knowing what, they'll be able to shake off the influence of this thing if they have a closed enough mind or strong willpower.

In short, if a customer really doesn't want anything, then they won't buy anything.

Technically, it's impossible to want nothing in a store since a person is inside precisely to get something.

"All I have to do is let this recording play on loop in the Mystery Shack, and in the meantime, I need to... study."

If one day one of my loved ones learns that Johan enjoys studying, they would be surprised.

Before leaving the place, I couldn't help but glance at GIFfany's CD, but I didn't take it with me.

There's no need for me to use it right now, and nothing's really urgent. I can talk to her tonight or tomorrow.

Arriving in the living room, I didn't meet anyone. It seems the twins are still stuck in their attic sleeping.

I think Wendy and Soos shouldn't be long. So I decided to watch the local news to relax.

"I see Gideon has started to move," I say, watching the advertisement talking about the "Tent of Telepathy".

I should take care of him before he summons Bill so he can get into my head, and I'd better take care of my mental defenses quickly.

I don't want a supernatural entity to learn my information.

"I should use Ford Pines' computer to encrypt my mind."

For now, it's the only easily feasible idea for the current me. I want to avoid venturing too often into the forest if possible. So, Ford's computer is the least risky option.

It's not urgent yet, I headed to the kitchen to prepare something simple for the kids and picked up all the books I could get my hands on from the Mystery Shack.

"What are you doing, boss?" Soos says as he comes in. Stan had given him a spare key to allow him to work more efficiently.

"Can't you see?" I say, frowning.

"Sorry, Mr. Pines, it's just unusual to see you reading such complicated books instead of magazines," Soos quickly explains, scratching the back of his head.

He seems disturbed or embarrassed.

"There's a first time for everything, and hurry up and open the Mystery Shack, time is money," I say calmly at first, but I slightly raised my voice at the end of my statement.

"Roger that, 5/5," he replies, hurrying.

"I love being the boss."

I couldn't help but crack a shameless smile after Soos left. I quickly went back to my reading; having a big brain is cool, but you have to feed it with various knowledge.

"Wow, Uncle Stan, did you really read all this?" Dipper asks, clearly shocked.

"Yes, kiddo, I'm in the mood to learn more about this generation, haha~"

Damn, I didn't notice him approach. I need to avoid being too focused on my reading from now on.

I also need to take care of my old age; if I were younger, then Dipper wouldn't have caught me reading so many books.

I plan to slowly reveal my intelligence and not rush things, I guess I'll have to speed things up by just showing him a side of "Stan" extremely interested in technological advances.

I really want Dipper on my side, and later, I must... try to reconnect with Ford.

"I like this way of looking at things," Dipper responds before settling down nearby to eat.

After finishing my books, I got up to see how my sales are going in the Mystery Shack.

"Looks like you arrived without me noticing," I say, looking at Wendy who responded with a simple nod.

"I want you to play this CD on loop from now on," I order in a serious tone.

"Understood, but what is it? Some kind of old song?" she asks, giving the CD a strange look.

"I don't pay you to ask questions."

I didn't respond further to Wendy and retreated to the basement after having a decent small meal.

I need to equip myself to face the horrors of this town and improve personally, I have a lot to do.

Author's note: This story will have more regular chapters. I've found the desire to write again.

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