Blanketed Emotions, Desired

Let Me See… 

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Sitting atop his coffin, Simon watched the sun slowly disappear behind the horizon. Hues of yellow, red, and orange mix across the muted green plains. He let himself relax, feeling the warm wind caress his skin and pick up strands of his hair. It was…peaceful, alluring even. Despite the coffin lying below him, for once, Simon's mind wasn't pacing with memories and thoughts. No terrors to escape or freedom to chase. 

Something brushed against his hand, bringing his attention to the hand now resting atop his. Simon's eyes made their way up to meet familiar blue ones and the accompanying soft smile, the image pulled at Simon's lips, calling him to return the look. There were no words, but they didn't need them. Expressions sharing every thought and feeling, building up a warmth inside Simon's body that spread throughout. He chuckled, light and airy, happy. The other joined with his own laugh, a breathtaking sound that made you laugh along. Simon could stay here and enjoy this forever. If only….

A voice pulled Ghost back to consciousness, his body felt uncomfortably stiff in its position. The cold of early morning penetrated the layers of gear and clothes, refreshing his sweltering skin. Blinking his eyes open, Ghost lifted his head from its rough resting spot. Rolling it around to relieve the pressure, his attention turned to the man beside him. The tired but bright smile opened as Soap spoke.

"Mornin' Lt, think the target's 'bout tae arrive soon, guards are lookin' anxious." 

Ghost raised an eyebrow, standing and moving to the rifle, he looked through the scope. Checking the area and guards, Soap was right about the guards looking anxious, there were notably more patrolling the building and surrounding area. The ones on the rooftop were practically spinning their heads around like helicopter blades. The thought pulled a chuckle to his throat, the sound naturally stopped in its ascent. This time though, Ghost pondered just letting it through, dangerous. Ghost…no, Simon was in a good mood. 

Shaking his head, the sound escaped him anyway, grinding against his sleepy vocal cords as he turned his head to look back at Soap. "They're definitely lookin' out for something, you check in with Price? This mission might not last another day."

The sergeant nodded, "Said tae keep our eyes peeled." Ghost hummed, looking back into the scope. The silence that lulled over the conversation wasn't uncomfortable, but it was slowly brewing a storm with Soap's loud thoughts. Ghost momentarily wondered if he should break the silence first before the other's thoughts could smother the both of them, thankfully, he didn't have to wonder long.

"Ghost." 

Ghost's brows furrowed at the conflicted tone as he responded with a grunt, keeping most of his attention on the building. 

"Can ah ask ye somethin'?"

Ghost stopped his head from turning towards Soap, anxiety bubbling in his chest with the hesitation in the Sergeant's voice. "…Sure." Maybe that was a mistake…

"Ah, ye dinnae have tae answer, of 'course."

That made him turn his head, brows pulled together as he inspected the uncharacteristically shy and unsure expression on Soap's face. "…Alright…?" Ghost watched Soap take a deep breath, eyes firmly on his.

"Wh…Where…did ye get the callsign Ghost?" 

…

…

…

…

Soap's expression broke as he fell into a fit of laughter, index finger pointing in Ghost's direction as all composure left the Sergeant. Ghost blinked away the surprise as he let his forehead fall onto his forearm, a fed-up yet equally relieved sigh leaving him.

"And here I thought you were going to be serious for once."

"Y-ye should've seen y-yer face!" Soap practically sobbed through tears and muted laughter, hand clasped over his mouth desperately as an arm wrapped around his abdomen.

Ghost rolled his eyes, but let the smile tug his lips. "You're an idiot." Soap's laughter tapered off as he took a few moments to breathe. 

"I thought ah was a toddler?"

"Yeah, an idiot toddler."

Another chuckle sounded behind him, "Most toddlers are naturally idiots, how can they be smart if they still have lots tae learn? That's a lot of expectations tae have for a child, Lt."

"Guess you've got a lot to learn and live up to then, Johnny." 

The nickname came so naturally, Ghost almost didn't realize something was amiss until a minute of silence passed. He bit into his gums, drawing blood and desperately willing himself to keep calm. The scope moved naturally, but his eyes didn't see, too far away in thought 'Shit, too familiar..'

"Aye, good thing I've got ye tae teach me, Ghost." 

Ghost couldn't breathe. The tone of Soap's voice, its sudden quiet intimacy that Ghost didn't know whether he imagined or not, made the moisture in his mouth evaporate. It sped up his heartbeat and dove into his bloodstream like a drug, he barely managed to suppress the shiver. Ghost felt lightheaded from this devilish high, incomparable to anything he'd ever experienced. He didn't quite know how to feel about it… The clamminess of his palms and the burning on his face. He tried to ignore the twitching interest of his body, 'What the bloody hell?'

Sanity came back to Ghost in the form of an armored Jeep making its approach towards the building, a switch flipped in his mind as his grip adjusted on the rifle. His eyes narrowed as he watched. "Got visual on our potential target." He rasped as Soap shifted behind him, jumping on coms with Price.

The Jeep came to a slow stop in front of the building, two guards approached, lax in posture. They only made it a few steps before a bullet split their skulls. 'Sniper.' Ghost tensed, swiftly changing positions to scope out the other rooftops. Empty concrete entered his scope until he found them. Peeking from a window one klick from their position.

"We got more tangoes, sniper one klick out in the left end, second-floor window of the reddish brick building." Ghost turned the rifle back towards the Jeep, watching four separate sprays of gunfire from the windows. The guarding enemies didn't stand a chance, half of them were just running around in confusion and panic. "Four in the Jeep, could be more around. Keep your eyes peeled, Johnny."

"Affirmative, Lt. What should we do? Price and Gaz were supposed tae take this part, but they won't make it here before these guys finish."

Ghost grumbled, reaching up to activate his coms before speaking. "0-2 to Actual, we got some trouble here. Five unknowns showed up and started shooting the target building."

"Ghost, any possible ID?"

"Negative, no visuals. What are our orders here? We didn't plan for any outside interference."

"Hold position, I'll check for any nearby operations we might've missed."

"Copy, out here." 

Letting his mind focus on the scene, Ghost watched the four unidentified men exit the Jeep. Scope switching back to the sniper momentarily, his eyes widened at the pointed glint aimed in their direction. He didn't think before discarding his rifle to the roof and diving at Soap, tackling him to the floor seconds before the shot rang out. The bullet whooshed past them, uninterrupted in its course as Ghost panted breathlessly despite the rather lackluster effort. His heartbeat pounded in his ears as he stared down at Soap, sharing an equally surprised look. He didn't have time to think about the warm and chilling contact, covering Soap's mouth as it opened. Ghost listened intently to the quiet footsteps echoing up the stairwell.

Pulling himself away, he pushed aside the crawling sensation. Letting the adrenaline guide him into grabbing the 9 mil from its holster, Ghost motioned signs towards Soap before kneeling beside the stairwell door. He caught the nod from the Sergeant, watching Soap crouch in the corner across from him, FTac at the ready. Sharing a look, Ghost let himself focus on the nearing footsteps. His motion sensor on the second for staircase had gone off three minutes ago, meaning they were moving quickly. He was proven correct when the rooftop door flew open a few seconds later, the barrel of an M4 making its entry into his vision, Ghost acted. His hand flew out as he grabbed the barrel and slammed it back into the enemy. Diverting the initial fire spray and preventing more, he didn't hesitate to press the 9 mil into their stomach. His finger twitched against the trigger, ready to pull when Price practically screamed in their ears.

"THEY'RE ALLIES!" 

The apparent ally in front of him stared back with wide eyes, no doubt hearing the yell in Ghost's ears, the person behind shared a similar expression after his friend shouted something in Spanish.

"I repeat! They're allies, Los Vaqueros. They're Mexican Special Forces." 

"…Copy." Ghost didn't let off his glare as he put the 9 mil away and backed up.

"Ouch, could've been a wee bit quieter, don't ye think, Price?" Soap spoke behind him, a smile quickly wiping the grimace from his face. "Nice tae meet ye, sorry fer the rough treatment. Didnae ken ye were friendlies."

The two nodded, eyes warily glancing at Ghost as he collected their gear and followed the three to join the rest of the group. A friendly face greeted them on the ground, his eyes darting to look at Ghost and Soap's patches as his hand reached out to Soap before he spoke.

"Soldiers, didn't realize the British Special Forces had business here." His smile widened when Soap accepted his hand.

"We didnae realize Los Vaqueros had business here either, sorry fer scarin' yer guys."

The other raised an eyebrow as he glanced back at his weary soldiers who continued to make obvious gestures and glances at Ghost. He turned the raised eyebrow at the masked man before smiling at Soap. "No te preocupes, hermanos. And please, you can call me Alejandro."

"Sure, call me Soap." Johnny glanced at his Lieutenant. "This is Ghost."

Alejandro nodded, pulling his hand back to walk towards their Jeep. The two 141 soldiers followed behind. "So what are Los Vaqueros doin' here?" Soap questioned for the two of them.

Alejandro turned around, smiling as he stuck his upper body through the driver's side window. Returning with a file, he handed it out to Ghost. Who accepted it, flipping it open, his eyes narrowed on the single paper that made up the file. Ghost looked up at Alejandro after reading, "Why are you looking for a KorTac Operator?"

Alejandro shrugged, "Laswell isn't the only connection who asks for our help." Ghost hummed, looking back down at the picture. The apparent sniper hood was a bit off-putting, although he didn't have room to judge.

"Ye look like ye could be brothers, Lt." Soap snickered beside him, receiving the glare with a smile. Closing the file, Ghost handed it back.

"So you think he's here?"

"Possibly, we've been tracking a few leads for the past five months. This is only the second base we've discovered, the last one was empty of everything but bloodstains and the guy's sniper hood." Soap and Ghost shared a grimace, the latter glanced at the building beside them.

"Did you clear the building yet?" Ghost caught the head shake Alejandro responded with.

"We'd appreciate the help, might as well while you're here." 

Ghost heard the quiet cheer Soap gave behind him, glancing at him, Johnny's expression shied. Hand rubbing the back of his neck, "Guess I didnae lose that bet entirely, huh Lt?"

Ghost struggled to control his expression, as a quietly exhaled half-chuckle half-scoff left his lips unbidden. Shaking his head, "I don't think this counts as stealth, Johnny."

"Aye! And? Ah said "nae entirely", I got the infiltration part correct! Dinnae think 'm losin' that easily now that ah've got a chance!" Ghost raised an eyebrow.

"You had a chance, four days ago." Ghost turned, holding his FN Scar at the ready as he walked up to the group of four standing by the front door.

"Nu-uh! That was before we ken this would happen! My guess still stands!" Soap called after him.

"Keep it tactical, Sergeant. We're not done yet." Soap grumbled something that sounded like an insult in Gaelic under his breath. "You wanna repeat that in English, MacTavish?" Ghost threw a glare over his shoulder.

"No Ser! Copy, Ser!" Soap had a cheeky smile despite the nervous sweat on his forehead.

Shaking his head once more, Ghost positioned himself beside the door. "Alejandro, you wanna take the lead on this one? It is your mission after all." Alejandro was looking at one of his soldiers with a fond smile, face switching into a more serious one as he turned to Ghost.

"Gladly."

Alejandro issued orders and positions, Soap was chosen to breach first, and Ghost would follow after. Followed by Alejandro and his men, Ghost could understand the other's decision. Everyone has been interested in the 141 since its creation, even before its creation. Ghost was a murderous mystery to anyone in similar occupations, even Soap had his own draw of attention. He didn't blame Alejandro for wanting to see their skills firsthand, to be honest, Ghost wanted to see Soap's skills as well. He had yet to see the other in proper action, knowing Soap. The other was also probably interested in seeing more of Ghost's skills, and the Lieutenant was inclined to show him.

Ghost raised his hand, lifting his Index finger, starting the count. Middle followed second, then the ring. Before he threw the door open and Soap rushed in, firing at the enemies in his way. Ghost watched him methodically clear the rooms, following his six as they moved swiftly through the rooms. Soap shot down the first two enemies and Ghost took care of the two that tried to jump out at them, Soap signed as he diverted into a room. Ghost followed in the opposite direction, rounding the room just in time to watch an enemy slam through the door.

He was down after a single shot to the head from Ghost, Soap stepped out of the room a second later, grinning as Ghost shook his head and moved on. They continued similarly throughout the building until the stairs, moving in perfect tandem, Soap fell back to his Lieutenant's six as the group climbed the steps. The first door in the hallway flew open once they got close, and Ghost reacted instantly. He raised his FN to the enemy's head, the shot went off and a methodical series of events played out.

Red only just sprayed when Ghost grabbed the falling body, letting the strap hold his Scar, he pulled out his 9 mil. Propping it on the body's shoulder as he pushed into the room, efficiently taking down the other three with sharp precision. Dropping the corpse, Ghost's eyes swept over the room once more before putting the 9 mil away to switch with his FN. Not missing the wide eyes he was receiving from his apparent audience. Alejandro pulled himself from his surprise to order three of his guys downstairs to check the place for anything they missed.

Leaving them four, or rather, Ghost and Soap to finish up the last rooms. Creeping down the hallway, Ghost stood aside to let Soap clear the second room. Throwing the door open, the room was empty aside from a map and scattered papers on a desk. The two shared a nod as Soap took post beside the third and final door, Ghost whispered a count under his breath before ramming through the door. FN raised, he didn't even blink before shooting the wide-eyed enemy. Ghost scanned the rest of the small room before dropping his aim, gaze landing on the brutally beaten man hunched half unconscious in the chair. Bloodied concrete flashed in his vision as the sour taste of bile made its unfortunate appearance on his tongue.

Crouching down, Ghost ignored both the itch of his skin and the disturbed sounds behind him. "Soldier, are you conscious enough to move?" The man muttered through his split and slightly swollen lips. "What?" Ghost hesitated to lean in, knowing perfectly well how it felt to be in the other's state, as well as despising the proximity. 

"Who 're y…?" The man slurred as he asked while Ghost undid the straps holding him in place.

"Call me Ghost, let's get you outta here." Glancing back at Soap, the other seemed to understand, taking over to try and lift the beaten man. Only to have him startle and fight back the second he was standing. Ghost caught the wildly thrown fist, "Woah woah woah! Calm down, Soldier! He's friendly, we already took care of all the enemies." 

Ghost watched the hazy grey eyes inspect him before they fell closed, his body sagged before he entirely collapsed onto Ghost. It took everything in Ghost not to toss the man off of him and start slamming fists into his face, although his hands were held in fists beside the other's vital points. Unfortunately, Ghost didn't manage to prevent the shiver that wracked his body.

"Shite!" Ghost distantly heard Soap's voice say as the disturbing weight lifted off of him. Memories of weathered wood and dirt under his hands bubbled up. "Ghost! Hey, ye there? C'mon, it's fine, everythin's fine." Soft careful touches grabbed Ghost's arms, spreading goosebumps over his skin as his arms were guided down, the warm voice called him from the earth. "Yer fine, ah've got ye." Worried blue eyes entered Ghost's hazy vision, slowly focusing back in, the involuntary shudder overtook him. Soap's arms carefully wrapped around him, keeping a small distance between the points of contact, a ghost of a hug.

A shaky breath pulled itself from Ghost as he blinked away the images, the scent of pine filled his nose. Drawing up an unconscious urge inside that pulled him towards it and had his face burying itself in Soap's neck. Ghost felt the other stiffen, but his mind was too overwhelmed by the mix of unpleasant and pleasant feelings that concocted a strange mix of bodily reactions to properly register it. The most prominent of Ghost's bodily reactions distracting him were the sweat and shivers, all well accompanied by each breath which drew in more of the pleasant smell. 

"Are ye good?" The arms on Ghost's back hesitated in their hovering, before carefully resting. For once, Ghost didn't want to pull away, although he refused to return the gesture. That felt like too much…

Ghost took another shaky breath before nodding, "Yeah."

His voice cracked on the word, stumbling pathetically over the lump lodged in his throat. Ghost didn't bother trying to correct it. Save them both the trouble of awkwardly sitting through minutes of Ghost just clearing his throat uselessly while repeating the same word. Soap nodded, accepting the word for what it was. The two stood in silence for a few more moments as Ghost regained his composure before Soap guided them both out of the building. Johnny took position beside him, obviously at the ready for any sudden changes in Ghost's mental state. Ghost appreciated it, no matter how much it also made him feel angry and annoyed. 

It felt stupid to feel pissy at Johnny when the other was simply worried and wanted to help, but Ghost hates feeling useless and incapable. He shouldn't have to rely on others to screw his head back on every time someone barely touches him. It was his fault and responsibility, he didn't need a bloody on-field therapist. Shaking the thought from his head, they walked over to Alejandro and his friend. Ghost grimaced at the concerned expressions he received from the two, choosing to instead look at the re-masked and unconscious man laying in the backseat. Ghost didn't envy the other, having been in similar situations, those injuries would take a while to heal. And they'd be a bitch to feel even with heavy painkillers.

Ghost's brows furrowed as he walked over to his rucksack, digging through it until he found what he was looking for. Walking over, Ghost opened the Jeep door to reach in. Carefully tucking it into the man's sniper hood, making sure the tape held before removing himself from the car. Glancing at the audience he had gained, Ghost shook his head at the questioning gazes and walked off to the side.

"0-2 to Actual."

"Actual here, Ghost, give me the sit-rep." Price answered.

"Soap and I helped Alejandro and his team retrieve a KorTac Operator from the target building."

"KorTac? Who?"

"Goes by the codename König." The word stumbled, awkward and unfamiliar on his tongue.

A few moments of silence passed before Price responded, "Alright, did you two find anything else?"

"Naw, buildin's clean except fer a blank map and some useless papers." Soap responded for him, smiling as Ghost turned to look at him. "The place looked pretty abandoned 'side from the guards and their prisoner, they must've been movin' him around. Ah dinnae think these are the guys we're lookin' fer Price."

The cap sighed, "I'm afraid you're probably right, Soap. I'll send for exfil, make your way there after you guys finish things with Alejandro."

"Copy, out here." Ghost's gaze met Soap's as the other flashed a lopsided grin, turning on his heels to converse with the group more. Looking up at the sunny sky, Ghost sighed, hoping for the mission to end quicker. Mostly so that another may come quicker. Maybe Soap will finally make a bet he can win. Ghost smiled softly, glancing back at Soap as he laughed with the group, eyes catching Ghost's and drawing him in.

"C'mon Ghost! We've still got time!" Soap's smile turned lopsided.

Ghost's head shook as he made his way over, "Ten minutes, Johnny. Exfil won't wait for us forever."

"Awe haud yer weesht, awright ye wee mammy." Soap shouted at the light slap he received to the back of his head, pouting a glare at Ghost.

"If I was a mum I'd be dragging you away while you threw a fit like a child." Johnny opened his mouth to respond, thinking better of it as he simply grumbled something in Gaelic. "Oh please, Johnny, why don't you share with the class?" Soap flushed, hiding his face in his hand like an embarrassed child as he lightly jabbed an elbow at Ghost.

"Och awa' an' dinna talk pish, Lt. Yer th' devil." Ghost smiled as he watched the group laugh, they talked for a while before eventually saying their goodbyes. Much to Soap's dismay, thankfully, it was a saving grace that Ghost didn't have to drag Soap away like a tantruming child. Although he realized that he probably wouldn't have minded carrying the other over his shoulder…. He filed the thought away for next time, maybe once he won't end up throwing the other man.

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Soap was, for all intents and purposes, deceased. He could hardly focus throughout the rest of the mission after Ghost had called him Johnny, the way he had said it. Soft and full of something reminiscent of affection, it filled Soap's stomach with butterflies and made him feel weightless. He hadn't even had the opportunity to worry about his state of mind for a proper infiltration mission, by the time things processed in his brain. They had already cleared out the base and retrieved the hostage, 'course it was Ghost's internal panic that dragged Soap back. Giving him half the mind to worry about his Lieutenant on the brink of having a panic attack, Soap almost panicked himself when the hostage collapsed on Ghost. Mostly because the latter's fists had flown dangerously close to hitting the unconscious man's vital points.

Things after that passed in a blur of motion until Soap was pacing in front of Price's office, a different question plaguing his mind. Lip worried between his teeth to the point of drawing blood. Soap had wanted to ask Ghost about it originally since it involved him and the man would know his own story the best. But he wimped out last minute, the hint of worry he caught in Ghost's eyes had plunged an immovable lump in his throat. So here he was, turning to the only other person that seemed to have answers to his questions and wouldn't have the possibility to break down when asked them.

"Soap…" He froze at Price's sighing voice from behind the closed door, "Quit pacing bootprints by my door and just come in already." Soap didn't hesitate in opening the door and stepping inside. His Captain looked up at him with a tired and expectant look. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure about his questions. He shuffled on his feet uncomfortably as his hands tried to find purpose, eyes flicking back and forth from Price to the desk until his thoughts grew too loud and the words spilled out.

"Who's Roba?" Price only sighed, seemingly expecting the question.

"It's not my place to tell." He shook his head.

Soap wined in frustration, "C'mon Cap! Yannae ah cannae ask Ghost, he might shut down! Ah jus' wanna ken better, It's clear Roba has somethin' tae do with Ghost's overall… character, and the cause of his trauma."

Price stared at him with an 'are you serious' expression, "Well there you go, you've got your answer."

Groaning, Soap sat down. "Naw, I want ye tae explain, I want tae understand better. What exactly happened?" The unspoken words that hung on his tongue doused it in sour, making him bite down.

Price gave him a curious look, eyebrow raised as he searched Soap's face. A weary sigh pulled itself from his lips, head lowering with a hand rubbing at his temple. "All I'll say, all I can say. Is that Roba tore Ghost apart, in unimaginable ways, and that isn't something you can easily come back from."

The words hung in the air with a crushing, suffocating, weight that settled heavily on Soap's shoulders and mind. It made his stomach drop with anxiety, what Price said was an ambitious description, but it painted a horrible enough picture in any imagination of the words. Soap still didn't know who Roba was, or what their connection to Ghost was to cause him such pain. But the one thing he did know, was that he wished they were still alive to receive all of Soap's sudden burning hatred. 

Nodding, he stood up to make his leave when Price's voice halted him. "Son, you may not want to know everything Ghost has been through. I hardly know anything beyond the surface and that's almost too much, even for me. Just, tread lightly. He also needs time, so don't get yourself hurt needlessly if he won't open up."

Soap gave him a soft smile, "Course, treadin' lightly…and Price?" The cap tilted his head. "Thanks, I ken ye didnae have tae say nothin'." Price waved him off, a soft smile dancing on his lips as the Sergeant left.

Soap settled down in his room for the rest of the night, sitting comfortably on his bed while writing out the events of the last few days.

Met the Los Vaqueros on our last mission, and Ghost almost lowered their group count. Alejandro, the leader, and his right-hand Rodolfo seem like good guys. I should learn some Spanish in case we ever run into each other again. Soap added a sketch of the two men on the opposite page, smiling as he wrote little notes beside the men.

Alejandro, he has one hell of a devilish smirk.

Rodolfo, a bit timid? He doesn't seem to trust Ghost. 

He doodled a small skull beside the man with an X over it, before returning to writing.

Helped them rescue a KorTac Operator named König, a scary lad taller than Ghost with a similar taste in accessory. Wonder what his story is? 

Soap made a small sketch of the man just below Alejandro and Rodolfo, although he didn't have many details to go on other than the vague profile he saw in the back of the Jeep. So it was more a drawing of his sniper hood than anything else.

Ghost didn't freak out when I touched him! Though he was already in a panic because König had collapsed on him, he relaxed slightly when I hugged him though. That's gotta mean I've made some progress, right? Just wait Ghost, I've got plenty of designed band-aids and smiles. Eventually…. Eventually what? Soap didn't know entirely why he was so determined to get his Lieutenant to open up, maybe it was the empty look he'd seen in Ghost's eyes since day one? The cold heart that seemed to yearn to beat. 

A soft scarred face that expressed so perfectly to the man beyond Ghost, the one who's been locked away behind a mask and countless walls without a name to call him back. That's what Soap wanted, to see, to meet and comfort him. Soap wanted to watch his eyes alight with warm emotions and hear his laugh, watch him smile. No, it wasn't simply a want anymore, hadn't been for a while. It was a yearning desire to be the cause of the other's happiness.

Turning the page of his journal, Soap sketched every possible detail and how it might look. Every expression and emotion, he needed—craved it like a starving animal. One way or another, Johnny was going to meet the man hidden so deeply beneath rumored mystery, sown cloth, and memorable skull mask.

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All of You…