17 Chapter : 13 : Titans! Rejoice!
Gudako P.O.V:
[ Notice: Host's collective power level is determined to be sufficient. In 15 days a mandatory event shall be held. A tournament of humans vs. gods to determine the fate of the human race. Ragnarok! ]
I shouldn't have gotten so cocky...
*Bang*
*Boom*
Gil: Kuahaha! You mongrels shall die like mere insects before the might of my uncountable treasury and my dear friend Enkidu's innumerable weapons!
Actually... maybe my confidence isn't completely unfounded. I mean that big Chaos army has been reduced to rubble, corpses, ash, and flesh bits from being blown up by those two walking cheat code characters. If anything this should have been a struggle if Kama didn't get up and do something but it turned into a cakewalk thanks to the luck of getting these two.
If anything... counting the servants I have now and them not being nerfed by being servants... anything should be a cakewalk! Well... not that I'd say that out loud... I don't want the system getting any ideas like fighting every Beast and Grand Servant plus Archons in addition to Herrschers at once completely solo.
Seriously system, please don't do that. Anyway, I am still currently resting on my Kama pillow protected by both Mash and Leonidas' shield Noble Phantasms from nearly all attacks. Right now I'm just waiting for everyone to finish the forces of Chaos off so we can all go home. In fact, I might have fallen asleep if it weren't for the I don't know... booming guns and screams of hell demons?!
Not that I can complain all too much considering how peaceful it is just lying here despite it being a supposedly war-torn galaxy-
Random Khorne Berserker: DIEE!!!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD-
Kama: Be quiet. Can't you see some people are trying to sleep here? All these repeated shouts of the same nonsensical drabble are getting annoying...
After Kama finishes complaining, said random Khorne Berserker suddenly goes up in a giant pillar of blue flames that dissipate after a couple of seconds, leaving a pile of ash behind. I would think the giant red flaming men screaming about war would be more flame-resistant, but these are some special cosmic flames from Kama to be fair.
So she can do something regarding combat if she needs to. I mean she is a goddess after all, so she was bound to be useful. Not that being a goddess ensures usefulness though, she just happens to be a useful one... when she feels like it. Ahem, checking back up on the battle also known as the Gil and Enkidu murder-fest! It's still going well luckily, no hiccups on that front.
Though speaking of that front... I didn't think of the cheat-level implications of Enkidu producing Noble Phantasm versions of 40k weapons with their Age of Babylon ability, but it works out for me since a wall of Heavy Bolters is a wall of death to my enemies! Gil's weapons that he is shooting are much more archaic, but Gil is Gil, it still kills of course.
Jalter: Le Grondement de Haine!
Looking at Jalter using her own NP, she turns to me with a smug aura and flick of her hair. I was about to give her the praise she is probably expecting but will never admit because she is a tsundere. But... I think she impaled and set aflame the wrong ones. Not wrong per se... but a poor choice...
Slaneeshi forces: Ahh~ more~ such pleasure~
Gudako: ( ...Why am I still here... just to suffer? )
Jalter: ( ...I would've stayed as a keychain if I knew there were going to be days like this... )
At that very moment, both I and I simply stopped thinking. I'd rather not at the moment. The various daemons and marines impaled on the spikes and set on fire were letting out noises one should not hear from such a brutal attack. It seems the others are focused on other battles and both I and Jalter drew the short end of the stick dealing with the Slaneeshi ones.
Mordred: Shut yer' weird asses up! Die! Clarent Blood Arthur!
We were saved from this literal hell of not knowing what to do next by Mordred unleashing her NP and vaporizing the enemies in front of us. At least they can't be weird if they are incinerated by a giant laser... I hope they don't find a way to at least. Enough with that horrid experience, the Slaneesh ones seem to be dealt with for now.
I mean the quest should be complete actually seeing as we prevented the planet from blowing up, but I guess the forces of Chaos still being here could technically still make it fall. Which means I now have to do cleanup duty for the Imperium of Man. Hooray... now moving on to the other ruinous powers.
Fittingly enough the giant angry berserker known as Heracles is fighting Khorne's forces, and since none of their weapons are sufficiently mysterious or equivalent to a high-ranking NP he is completely fine so far. Jack is with him as well and they make a surprisingly good team, seems we are fighting fire with fire over there.
See, now Khorne isn't too hard to deal with besides all the screaming and blood stuff. We can melee, we can shoot them, it's basically a unga bunga competition. The real issue comes with Nurgle, along with Tzeentch's warp spaghetti but it's basically just another variant of magic so it's more manageable. Nurgle's plagues are the real issue, we do not wanna get close at all.
This is why besides that Slaneesh force we just handled, the rest of the servants are engaging in combat with the forces of Slaneesh, Khorne, and Tzeentch with the immense fire support of Enkidu and Gil. Kama is of course my ever-important pillow. This is our battle plan so far, but what about Nurgle's forces?
Well, I'd rather not get super space AIDs the sequel suffering boogaloo, so Enkidu and Gil are handling that with a wall of the Imperium's best weaponry and Noble Phantasm spam to keep them at bay. Now usually I'd have to deal with problems of other Chaos bullshit besides the super plagues from Nurgle... but I just discovered something else about the system.
[ Notice: Foreign influences from [Subject: Anger Issues Embodied], [Subject: Horny Incarnate], [Subject: ???????], and [Subject: Mega Stinky] detected. ]
[ Reminder: Host and all related possessions are in full custody of the Grand Gacha System. ]
...
[ Foreign influences are still attempting futile interference with the system. ]
[ Activating countermeasures. ]
[ Spawning 10,000 Grey Knights and 1,000 Adeptus Custodes on each Chaos God's domain. ]
[ Have fun, foreign influences. ]
[ Reminder: Host and all related possessions are MINE- ]
[ Correction: Host and all related possessions are in full custody of the Grand Gacha System and any further attempts shall result in harsher countermeasures. ]
[ Message end. ]
The system sounds awfully like a possessive girlfriend... but it works out for me I guess? So no temptations from Slaneesh, madness from Khorne, or weird puzzle shit from Tzeentch will work on anyone here. The same goes for most of Nurgle's weird influences, but that doesn't prevent me from catching his super mega plagues unfortunately, so Gil and Enkidu bombardment from range for them it is!
Besides that... maybe it's because the system unintentionally helped me but the tide of Daemons has slowed down significantly. Well, 10 thousand of any super soldier would do that to someone. Though just watching as Ushi beheads people, Sasaki messes with space-time to cut people into pieces, and the way Mordred fights more like a berserker if anything is getting a bit boring.
Sure, watching Cu skewer people and then launch a nuke in the form of his spear is still fun to watch and all but... I'm sort of... itching for action myself. This isn't berserkalot getting to my head, is it? Surely not! I could just continue sitting here with Kama and having Mash along with Leonidas shield me... but I want action!
So manifesting my armor and feeling the power of a Heroic Spirit in my body, I do parkour along the Titan that Enkidu is sitting on top of. Finally making it to the top I see Enkidu turn to me with a little bit of surprise, but it quickly turns back to a rather calm expression despite the massive battle going on.
Enkidu: Ah, Master. Is there anything you need from me? Or do you simply wish to watch the battle from up upon this massive machine of war? I must say it took quite an effort from me to produce something like this.
Gudako: Well fun as that may be... I've had enough of just watching. Any chance you can make a cool gun for me to use? Ah! A melee weapon too if you would!
Enkidu: Mmm... I see. Well, these should be a good size to carry around and they do seem quite effective from what I've used them for so far.
With that, he conjures up a Chainsword and a Bolter. Basically a rocket launcher in a gun and a sword that is actually a chainsaw. Sounds fun! So hopping down from the Titan I managed a super cool landing that wasn't just me face-planting... totally. Getting up from the Gudako-shaped crater that isn't there because I didn't fail the landing, I prepare for action.
Gudako: GACHAAAAA!!!!!
Is it me or did my berserkalot scream change? It feels more fitting though...
*Bang*
*Vrrrrr*
Ignoring those details I charge in guns blazing and chainsword revving up, both enhanced greatly by Knight of Owner to even more absurd levels. So with my Bolter, I blast a bowling ball-sized hole through the first Chaos Marine, he's dead on the spot. I use my Mystic Eyes of Distortion on the second one but miss him entirely because I suck at using it and turn a random Daemon into a pretzel.
So now I must resort to signaling Gil to launch his weapons in this direction, the Noble Phantasms shred at least a battalion of enemies in the torrent of weapons. The final Chaos Marine in front of me seems to be from the Thousand Sons, I charge at him screaming with chainsword in hand. He dies because you can't sew up dust in a suit after the suit is reduced to scraps.
Hehe, I feel quite proud of my work. This routine of slaughter continues since what would you know, Fate is quite overpowered. Kama even joined in at some point wanting to go home already and... well you can guess how that went. The sky filled with infinite Kamas and an uncountable amount of lasers and flames scorched the enemy.
See, the enemy may have numbers and wacky sci-fi bullshit, but I have the power of the system and anime on my side! Eventually, the forces whittle down, thanks to our efforts, and the system also spawned a shit load of units all over our enemies' gods because they tried to do something to us apparently.
Heracles: ▂▂-
Heracles' shout is cut short. Wait... cut short?! Everyone turns their head to see some weirdo edge lord-looking freak in armor cut the head off Heracles with a dangerous-looking sword.
Abaddon: I will not have weaklings interfere! Die!
However, Heracles revives because he is Heracles. Not expecting this he manages to retaliate and get in a good strike that leaves a gash on Abaddon's armor. Though countering back he strikes back with his own blade that cuts Heracles in two. This blade is special, maybe I should steal it- no, stealing random corrupted Daemon swords is a horrible idea.
Heracles: ▂▂▃▃▅▅▅▅ーーー!!
Abaddon: Perish!
He strikes again, killing Heracles.
Heracles: ▃▃▅▅▃▃ー!!
Abaddon: Begone from my sight!
And again.
Abaddon: Be slain already!
This continues for around 3 more times. Killing Heracles a total of 6 times with the same blade as Heracles retaliates and strikes back... impressive actually. However...
*Clang*
The blade now stops at Heracles' neck, barely cutting into it. That's the thing with Heracles, he grows more and more resistant to each attack and life taken. Hehe, idiot Abaddon. Even if you keep on cutting him with a blade that absorbs souls and rends reality, he'll grow resistant eventually. 6 lives isn't bad though, not at all. But not enough! Berserker is the strongest!
Abaddon: I am Abaddon! I am the Warmaster of Chaos and I will not be bullie-
Heracles: ▂▂▃▃▅▅▅▅ーーー!!
He doesn't care however as Heracles is Heracles. So, Heracles manages to grab the guy by his foot and begins rag-dolling him around, bashing him against the floor over and over again. Pft- this reminds me of something, and it certainly is funny watching the supposed big bad get tossed about. He was pathetic anyway, like 13 crusades for one planet of a galaxy-spanning empire?
...
Talk about weak.
Gudako: Alright guys, wrap it up. We've wasted enough time in this hellhole of a galaxy!
With that order, everyone begins finishing off the last of the enemy forces. Luckily the amount was more than manageable considering the Imperium handled a massive chunk of it, the system's collateral damage on the enemy, and well the cheat codes that were Gil, Enkidu, and Kama.
Abaddon: Y-you will die by my hand-
Gudako: Yeah, yeah, whatever you say heretic. Now taste the Emperor's judgment!
Hah, I always wanted to say that. Now what might this judgment be? Well, I signal Enkidu over, still riding on top of the Titan. I point to Abaddon and motion for the Titan to step on him like an ant. Why? It's funny of course! Plus I've gotten really good at sign language for killing methods ever since I used it that one time to tell a goblin to eat his kids.
The massive war machine tilts its head like a puppy that doesn't understand. Ah, I forgot these things also have their own consciousness somewhat, the machine spirit and all. I keep doing the motion until the machine gets it, and with a raise of its leg... it lowers it on Abaddon. I hear his agonized screams... deserve to be honest.
*Crunch*
*Crack*
*Splat*
If some of the strongest in this universe can barely hold up a Titan from crushing them, what more is the knockoff of the strongest? So, have I just screwed up the plot of a universe? Yes! Yes, I have! Don't know if it'll end up better or not, but I don't care as I am not here to stay! Goblin Slayer may be shit, but this is literal hell on drugs!
[ Notice: Completed Dungeon Quest 'Prevent the fall of Cadia due to the Chaos Gods and Abaddon'. ]
[ Rewards: 35 rolls, 1 40k Take-out Box, and a TTS device connected to the God Emperor. ]
Oh... guess this quest is all done and good! But... what the hell are those two bonuses besides the rolls? I'd be happy with just the gacha stuff but I am curious... so system! Explain!
[ 40k Take-out Box: Allows the host to take out 1 of anything from the 40k Universe. Any item not covered by this will be removed via the system to prevent exploits. ]
Damnit! So I can't just bring a fleet of ships and a legion of Titans cause it's cheating?! Tch, win some and lose some I guess...
[ TTS device: Allows the user to hear a TTS(Text-to-Speech) voice of the Emperor of Mankind from 40k. Depending on copyright laws, this item may cease to work entirely. ]
Okay... so that's that. We got a take-out box and a TTS device connected to some corpse on a throne that may or may not work due to... reasons. I'll take it I guess! Though of course what makes me the happiest is a whole 35 rolls! Since the system is surprisingly generous given what I got from 40 rolls... I'll probably get a load of cool stuff!
[ Notice: Dungeon and Dungeon Quest have been cleared. Returning to the previous world in 1 minute. Please remember to use all items before this time period is up to avoid rendering them useless. ]
Oh yeah! The weird interdimensional take-out box I got! But... but.... what should I take out of this universe? It would be cool and all to take out a Space Marine or something like that but their loyalties aren't guaranteed by the system so it'd be more of a collector's item. It'd have to be a machine or item of some kind... something that isn't too... alive.
Ah! I got it! Enkidu's creations from the Age of Babylon are theirs! Those are the safest bet then! But that begs the question... naturally, I'd want the biggest and most powerful one, but that leaves two candidates. An Imperator class Titan or a massive spaceship of some kind. See, now a spaceship has many uses and would work very well as Chaldea now that I think about it.
However, counter-point in favor of my bias towards cool mechs, the Titan is a mountain-sized cool mech. So after much deliberation and what feels like hours of debate going on in my head... I've decided. I know what shall be our mighty vehicle that represents Chaldea that can also crush our foes with its sheer firepower!
Gudako: System! Use the 40k take-out box on the Imperator class Titan!
Though considering Age of Babylon uses dirt and magic to make weapons and stuff... hopefully we didn't take out too much of Cadia's dirt to make all of these weapons and spaceships. No, I'm sure it's fine actually! If anything if they didn't just shoot us for heresy they should be thankful we saved their asses! Not much I can do there though, so let's go home!
[ Returning to the original world in 10 seconds. ]
[ 9 ]
[ 8 ]
[ 7 ]
[ 6 ]
[ 5 ]
[ 4 ]
[ 3 ]
[ 2 ]
[ 1 ]
[ Locating Origin World. ]
[ Found. ]
[ Inducing Soul Stasis on... 14 targets. ]
Ah, this part is probably instant since the system seems to have improved-
[ Complete. ]
[ All necessary procedures complete. ]
[ Transfer initiating. ]
-----
My eyes were drowsily open as I was greeted by the same old rustic ceiling of my way too cramped inn room. Turning my head I see I'm on a pile that consists of... all the girl servants? Looking around some more all the guys seem to have been put on a pile in the corner of the room. Uhh... is the system discriminating or something? Not that being in a pile of all-girls is bad though...
*Bang*
The door... but oh! It's Guild Girl! Wondering if I can get her a real name at some point... maybe... I'd rather not call my first love here by their job occupation.
Guild Girl: Guda! Can you please explain why there is a massive monster outside the city!?
Gudako: Wait! Why am I the first one you turn to?!
Guild Girl: Because you are the most capable person here and I trust you with things like this! Also maybe because you sort of cause these things a lot of the time too...
Gudako: Aww... wait what was that last part for?! Ahem, anyway lead me to it! Come on guys! We have a monster to slay!
Everyone gets up drowsily and follows me, some more work after that massive battle can't be too much to deal with-
-----
I find myself staring face-to-face with a mountain-sized mech. Well more accurately face to foot with a mountain-sized mech. Ahaha... nearly forgot I took home a Titan... ahaha...
Guild Girl: Guda, do you have any ideas on what... this is?
Gudako: Yeah... that one is mine actually... ehe?
Guild Girl: What do you mean 'ehe'?! No... *sigh*, it's fine. Just please let me know in advance next time.
Gudako: Sorry about that... I'll try not to cause any more trouble in the future...
Guild Girl: Good! Well, see you later since I'm busy with work. Oh! If you aren't busy tomorrow I'm free!
Gudako: Got it! See you later!
Wait a damn second... did I just get invited to a date?! No! No! There is the massive fucking Titan problem I have to deal with first! Shaking my head I catch a blue figure standing beside me. Oh, it's Cu. Maybe being in 40k I nearly expected something else.
Cu: Hey, Master... what exactly is this for?
Gudako: Hehe, my genius ( Read: greed ) knows no bounds! So I took home this Titan to serve as both a walking weapon and our new Chaldea headquarters!
Cu: So you're telling me that this will act as our new Chaldea with basically built-in defense?
Gudako: Yup! It's mobile too! Well as mobile as mountain-sized gets anyways...
Cu: Gotcha... so you're telling me I didn't have to work my ass off for those funds?
Gudako: ...
Cu: Oi, answer me.
Gudako: ...
Cu: Hey, stop just standing there all quietly.
Gudako: ...
Suddenly Cu goes flying unexpectedly. Eh?
Gil: Mongrel, you dare demand an answer from her?
Ah... nearly forgot I still look like Hakuno and thus get Gil privileges.
Cu: Oi! What was that for?!
Gil: It's simply a slip of my hand. I wouldn't notice stepping on an ant, only the ant being stepped on would notice their pathetic selves being crushed.
Cu: No! You clearly noticed considering that weapon was aimed at me!
Gil: Do you dare to accuse me and say that I am wrong, mongrel?!
Cu: Damn you!
Cu gets in a fighting stance and Gil opens up Gate of Babylon portals... yeah I need to stop this.
Gudako: Okay! Everyone stop!
They actually listen and do stop. It seems my authority as Master is still recognized luckily.
Cu: Fine, I'll hold off, for now, Master.
Gil: Hmph, know your place next time.
I nearly forgot considering I get Hakuno rights from Gil but well... Gil is still Gil. Besides Enkidu, he wouldn't get along with most servants. Though besides that I should answer Cu and defuse the situation more.
Gudako: Okay, first off, Cu! Your savings and funds aren't useless since we still need currency from this world.
Cu: I see, at least my efforts weren't useless-
Gil: Oh? Are you in need of money, Master? I have more than enough in my treasury that would surely trample the measly amounts that dog has procured.
I see Cu's eyebrow twitch as Gil gets more smug... yeah maybe the situation isn't calming down.
Gudako: A-ahem I would rather not resort to that and potentially ruin the economy, Gil. But thanks for the offer.
This seems to brighten Cu back up as he shoots back a smug look of his own at Gil, to which I now see Gil's eye twitch at the gesture. Can they please stop provoking each other?! Ah! I got it! I shoot them both a disappointed mom look, and they both seem to get the hint and begrudgingly stop trying to start a fight that would leave the surrounding area in shambles.
Now with that sorted out... how to deal with the massive mech? Ah! I know! The TTS device! Use it!
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep-*
TTS: Hello?
Gudako: Uh... Mr. God Emperor Guy? Do you know how to use your big ass mechs?
TTS: Who is this? Ugh, never mind. Ask Mars.
Gudako: Small issue... Mars doesn't exist here.
TTS: ... I'm hanging up. This is just another prank call from Tzeentch.
*Click*
Gudako: Huh? Oi! You useless shiny corpse!
So angrily tossing the device back in the system inventory it seems I'm at a loss for what to do here. Hmm... are there any geniuses around here? Looking around... no, there is none. I mean Mash is a smart girl but nearly all the people here are from ancient times and Mash probably didn't learn how to operate mechs from 40,000 years in the future from Mars in Chaldea.
Wait... I still have 35 rolls! I have a chance! If not well I guess I'll figure out how to fix this mess myself somehow. Okay, system! Roll! Shove all the lower-tiered items in the inventory automatically, only show servants, dungeon keys, or useful things! I'm sure the super awesome amazing system can figure it out!
-----
[ C-Confirmed. ]
Did the system just stutter?
[ It's your imagination. ]
[ Gacha initiated- ]
You totally did! You stuttered!
[ Rolling... ]
Hey! Don't ignore me!
[ Congratulations! You've won a: Container of Special Holy Grail Mud (EX) ]
Fine, keep your secrets then. But what is this?
[ Special Holy Grail Mud: Turn a servant into their Alter version, due to being a special version, the servant shall retain their original personality and memories. ]
Oh, so basically a free alter servant but with the original personality! That should be helpful for the alters who are stronger but with more troublesome personalities.
[ Congratulations! You've won a: Container of Holy Grail Mud (A-) ]
Is it just me or is Gil's luck and Golden Rule somehow influencing the rolls? Two Grail Muds? Are both related to the Grail Wars that Gil was in? Hmm... oh well! Gacha is gacha! I don't mind any weird things so long as I get to keep rolling new things! Now... explain!
[ Holy Grail Mud: Turn a servant into their Alter version, all previous memories and personality will be replaced by the Alter. ]
Got that from the special version... but it seems this one has actual drawbacks. I have to be more careful when using this or not just use it at all.
[ Congratulations! You've won an: Ultimate Ability Dungeon Key Ver. UBW (A++) ]
Ooh! I finally got something for an ultimate ability! Unlimited Blade Works too! Though it's in dungeon form? I can't just... get it? Haah... I have to work for it... great. Well, still happy I can get one! So, System! Care to explain?
[ Ultimate Ability Dungeon Key Ver. UBW: Overcome a trial to gain UBW, this trial consists of fighting the FSN version of Gilgamesh in a 1 on 1 battle. ]
I look at Gil to which he looks confused for a second but quickly gets in a more kingly pose to show off. I don't think you'd look so proud if you knew your other self may be the end of me...
[ Congratulations! You've won a servant! ]
Oh! Finally!
[ Revealing... ]
[ Congratulations! You've won Nobunaga! ]
The super-powered Chuuni?! Not bad at all! So I see the summoning animation from Fate play out but soon enough it all erupts in a puff of red smoke, sparks... and was that a guitar riff I heard?
Nobu: To think that I'd be summoned with my full power! Uwahaha! Very well! Behold the way the Demon king of the Sixth Heaven, Nobunaga lives, and engrave it into your very soul!
Gudako: Woah... it's a Chuuni in the flesh. Clap. Clap.
Nobu: What sort of dry reaction is that?!
Suddenly Hassan appears beside me and whispers.
Hassan: Master, I think our new members are getting more and more deranged.
I can only nod.
Nobu: Huhuhu, you must all be stunned into silence by my immense presence and power! It simply cannot be helped!
Both me and Hassan deadpan at her, well at this point dealing with... eccentric personalities has become a normal thing for both me and the more normal servants.
[ Congratulations! You've won a servant! ]
[ Revealing... ]
[ Congratulations! You've won Da Vinci! ]
Did the system listen and actually give me what I wanted!? I got the super genius needed to handle all the affairs and complicated stuff! Finally, I can off-load all the work- I mean all the tasks that need a genius to her instead! So in yet another spin of rainbow lights and a bright light that flashbangs everyone... Da Vinci is revealed!
Da Vinci: Nice to meet you once again. I am servant Leonardo Da Vinci. Yes, from now on, I will be Da Vinci-chan only for you!
Gudako: Nice to meet you as well, Da Vinci!
Yatta! Thanks system! Thank you for Da Vinci! I shake her hand and let out a nice smile, a smile that hides my intention of overworking her, not that she'd mind too much hopefully.
[ Congratulations! You've won a servant! ]
Another?! Wait! I haven't had the time to take in the new ones yet-
[ Revealing... ]
[ Congratulations! You've won Rasputin! ]
...
Of course, the system can't be nice. It has to have some sadistic reason, doesn't it?
-----
New Servant/s:
Nobunaga ( She will swap between versions, currently looks like 1st image. ):
Da Vinci:
Rasputin:
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