43| Memory lane

⚠️ Contains scenes of violence and abuse ⚠️

Victor was up before the sun, not that he got much sleep, to begin with, Grace had nightmares through the night and it pained him to know how much agony she was in mentally. As he took his frustrations out on the boxing bag in front of him he couldn't help but let his mind wander into a faraway memory.

"Victor?" The young boy heard his father call from downstairs, knowing his father doesn't like to wait he jumped off of his bed running down the stairs.

"Sì papa?" He asked breathlessly as he got to his father

"It's time for you to become a man," his father said with no emotion behind the green eyes that matched his own.

"Must he really Vincenzo? His still so young?" Victor's mother asked meeting the two of them where they stood.

"He is almost ten, it is long overdue," his father said with an authority to his voice that made it clear that his word was final.

Gloria looked at her son, afraid that this would be too much for him but she'd rather not get on her husband's bad side this morning, the stinging pain in her heavily made-up cheek reminded her of the consequences of what happens if you question Vincenzo Bernardi. With a frown, she looked at her son as he innocently looked back at her.

"I love you mi amore, no matter what okay?" She smiled at the boy who returned her smile, his gorgeous dimples popping out

"I love you too mama," He said before looking up at his father. His father never told him he loved him but despite that, Victor would do everything he could to please his father. In his small mind, he believed if he could please his father then perhaps his father could love him.

"What have I told you about love Victor?" Vincenzo asked dragging him by the arm as they exited the house.

"Love is only for weak men" Victor repeated the words his father told him every day.

The drive was silent as most of the drives with his father was, Victor sat still even though his curious mind wanted to climb up on the seat to look out of the window, he refrained from doing it knowing his father would not be pleased, instead, he clasped his hands together in his lap and kept his eyes fixed on the seat in front of him until the driver informed his father that they'd arrived.

The driver opened the door for Vincenzo before going around the car and doing the same for Victor. He got out of the car looking around confused as to how he was to become a man at an abandoned warehouse. Swallowing his question, he followed his dad into the warehouse. As they entered Victor covered his nose and gagged at the foul acidic smell that met him inside. He walked further into the dimly lit room behind his father until he came to a halt seeing the body of a man handcuffed to a metal chair in the middle of the room. The smell was coming from him, Victor noted and wondered how long he had been here.

Victor's eyes met the man's as he lifted his bloodied head. His eyes were blue and his greasy hair an off-color blonde, the black clothes he wore were torn and any open skin that was visible had been bleeding. If the man hadn't opened his mouth and said "please" Victor wouldn't have known he'd been crying, his tears were hidden amongst the blood and dirt that covered his face.

"It's time to see if you've been listening to what I've taught you, boy," his father said spitting the word boy as if it were poison in his mouth. Victor looked up at his father confused and scared as his father removed the handgun from his holster pushing it into Victor's hands.

"Aim" His father commanded

"What?" Victor asked his voice small as the cold green eyes of his father looked down on him.

"Don't play dumb boy!" His father snapped "Aim"

Victor swallowed the lump in his throat. Bringing the gun up he aimed at the man just as his father had shown him countless times before.

"Please" the man cried looking at Victor, there was so much fear in his eyes that Victor's heart clenched. He wanted to run up to the man and untie him but he knew his father wouldn't let him get that far. With his finger on the trigger, Victor's hands trembled slightly as his heart beat rapidly in his chest.

"Fire," his father said folding his arms. Victor took a deep breath but hesitated as the man's eyes pleaded with him "are you, deaf boy!" His father shouted, "Fire now!"

Victor tried to will himself to do it but he just couldn't, he swallowed looking up at his father with a sheepish expression, a lump formed in his throat as the man's cries became hysterical.

"If you don't shoot him now, I will bring Vincent here and make him do it" his father seethed and that was enough motivation. With the thought of protecting Vincent from ever having to feel what he was feeling right now, Victor took Aim again, and with a hard swallow of the lump in his throat and a conscious effort to keep his eyes from shutting, Victor pulled the trigger and watched as the bullet pierced the man in the center of his head, silencing his cries for mercy as the light left his eyes.

"Good," his father said with a flat tone "now wipe your eyes, no son of mine will cry like a pussy" He snapped before walking away. Victor wiped his tears with the back of his hand before following his father out of the warehouse.

That was the last day Victor had shed a tear up until last night and it was also the last day he had said 'I love you' to anyone. A hardness had begun to form over his heart a hardness that stayed with him until three months ago when Grace Brennan entered his life.

Shaking the memory from his head as his assault on the punching bag came to a halt. It had been twenty-one years since that day and he'd killed many more people since then, he didn't have memories of all the people he'd killed but that one managed to stick with him and as much as he hated it, Grace would always have the memory of killing her father. Victor never wanted this for her, he never wanted her to lose that innocence. Grace was good, she was light and he was dark, she was the only good thing in his life but he had brought her into this world, it was his fault that she had to carry around the guilt of taking a life and as much as she told him it wasn't his fault, undoubtedly it was.

Victor finished his workout before going back to the bedroom where Grace still lay fast asleep, he went over kissing her head gently, her face had already started bruising, and each time he saw it all he wanted to do was murder someone. With one last kiss to her temple he went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Today he would need to say goodbye to Grace and he wasn't prepared for that.