14 chapter fourteen: goodbye
A/N: this will be quite a long chapter, like really really long, so don't get bored, yeah?
seconds, minutes, hours, days, and weeks has passed. and as those days had passed, hyerin had grew weaker, hiding it everyday from everyone she was interacting with.
she grew closer with everyone around her, always smiling and talking to them as she wanted to go away without having hard feelings with anyone, she hanged out with her friends, making time for everyone she had grew close with.
she lived her life, that was what's important to her.
she grew closer with jaehyun, she grew closer with the boys, everything was back to normal, far too normal, it was amazing to feel happy everyday. she introduced jaehyun to the boys and ever since both jaehyun and taehyung had developed quite a connection.
she was happy, until the day came.
the day when what she feared the most had came, the day when she had to go.
"noona? why don't you look fine?" jaehyun asked, seating next to her in the bed, "are you sick? do you have any fever?" he asked as he continue to peel off the orange in his hands.
"jaehyunie, you're a big boy already aren't you?" she asked, vision quite blurry from the pain she was feeling at the back of her head.
he hummed in response, "of course i am, why?" he looked at her with those big doe eyes of his, he's been hanging out with them too much, he was slowly resembling the boys, with the eyes of jungkook, the smile of taehyung and the dimples of namjoon.
"what if i have to leave? noona needs to go somewhere for a while and we might not see each other for some time." she faintly smiled, tears threatening to fall already, "will you be fine?" she continued.
"why? do you have to go? if its because i've been bad then i promise i'll always be good, i'll follow whatever you say from now on." he raised his right hand, ready to pledge an oath.
hyerin let out a light chuckle, "no, you've been very good. i just need to go, but we'll see each other again, of course we will." she ruffled his hair.
"when? how long will you be away, noona? who will i stay with?" jaehyun continued to ask, letting few tears fall.
"i don't know when i'll leave, but we'll see each other again when you're 100 years old ?" jaehyun's eyes widened, shaking his head, "why? you'll live that long."
"but," he paused, thinking it is actually quite cool to live that long, "but that means it will take ages for me to see you again." he pouted, thinking of how long it would take to see his favorite noona again.
"you'll be fine, jimin and the others are here and minhee as well." she kissed his head, pushing away the thoughts of her leaving soon, mabye quite too soon.
reaching out to her drawer, she got out a necklace and showed it to jaehyun, "you see this? when mom went away, she gave me this. and since i'm going away as well, i will give you this, okay?" she helped him wear the necklace, "don't loose it, take care of it." she pinched his cheeks.
"don't worry, noona. while you're away i promise to be a good boy and i will never loose this necklace. are you going to see mom?" he asked, still clueless that hyerin was already saying her farewell.
she nodded in response, "i will, and i'll tell her how you've been so good."
hyerin started crying, she didn't want to leave him alone. she still wanted to protect his favorite jaehyunie from the cruel world they were in, she wanted to watch him grow, to watch him graduate school, to watch him be the man she knows he will be.
but then, she could still watch him, she might not be able to physically but she sure will once she's up there, when she's up there she could go and watch over everyone she loves, jimin being one of them as well.
"why are you crying, noona?" jaehyun asked, tearing up as well as he hates seeing her sad and crying.
"i'm just happy that i was granted the position to be your cousin." she pulled him into a hug which he returned back, both hugged each other tightly as jaehyun started to feel like something is indeed off.
it then clicked him, she was really leaving him, she'll be sleeping for quite a long time and she'll be away, but she won't be gone, just away.
"noona, just rest whenever you want. i'm a big boy already and you don't have to worry about me anymore, i love you hyerin-noona." he gave her a smack on the cheek before hopping down from the bed and going downstairs.
he searched for their house phone and got it, dialing a number he had memorized well, he recited it while pressing the number, pressing it near his ear, he waited for the one he called to answer, "hello?"
"jimin-hyung!" jaehyun happily exclaimed before covering his voice and started whispering, "can you come over to our house with the others? noona needs all of you, we need the hyerin protection team together." he lowered his voice, glancing once in a while by the stairs to see if his noona was there.
"why? is she sad?" jimin asked from the other line.
jaehyun laughed at how jimin was to obvious with his feelings, "hyung, just confess to noona already." he rolled his eyes, happy that the older one couldn't see him.
"y-yah! what are you talking about? we're just friends." jimin defended his self, cheeks suddenly turning crimson red with the young boy's words.
"just friends, yeah right, sure. you might be too late, hyung." he whispered the last sentence, a smile leaving his face when he remembered how his noona cried earlier.
they continued to talk for a while when jaehyun decided to end the call for hyerin might come downstairs any second, jimin then, on the other hand said he'll be over with the boys within the next few minutes.
-
hyerin sat quietly on her bed, letting her thoughts drown her away, she was afraid suddenly, she had already accepted it but then why was she so scared now? why now when she only had little time left.
she continued to ask herself as to why it had to be her who needed to leave this world early? why can't it be one of those guys who has been reported to commit such crimes? why did it have to be her? from all the people, it just had to be her, isn't?
she then remembered the doctor's words to her, finish line, the sky's the finish line, when she's tired, win or loose, she'll have to cross the finish line because she knows by the end of it the pain will be gone, she didn't have to suffer anymore.
no more hurting, she repeated to say in her mind.
she was taken back to reality when she heard loud voices from downstairs, even if she did wanted go down, it felt as if she couldn't bring her whole body to move anymore.
"rin! you're protection team is here and we're here to take you out somewhere really fun." hoseok's loud voice echoed as they all entered her room, all wearing really big smiles, "we are taking you to the amusement park."
"ah hyung, it was supposed to be a surprise." jungkook and the other's complained for their member couldn't keep such a simple secret from hyerin, "now you ruined it." he went up to hyerin and sat on her bed.
"i'm sorry, i was too excited." hoseok gave a peace sign and laughed awkwardly, sitting next to hyerin on the bed, glancing at hyerin he saw how pale she was, "you alright? you look pale." he added, placing a hand on her forehead.
"i'm good, just a bit tired?" she shrugged and smiled a bit, "well why don't i go get ready and let's go spend the rest of the afternoon there." she hopped out of the bed and went to grab some clothes, going to the bathroom straight after.
after, they all went straight to the amusement park, it was a tuesday so the park wasn't crowded for it was a school and work day, "its a perfect day, we don't need to wear our masks." namjoon exclaimed, leaving their masks behind in the car.
all went straight inside, hyerin and jaehyun hand in hand as they followed the others, they rode different rides and ate tons of food, it was a day well spent.
it was all hyerin wished her last day would look like, just her and the people she treasured the most in life.
it was afternoon when they decided to spend some time at the fish pond next to the park, as jin and the others said that they were good at it.
"noona! why are you there? come over here, look!" jaehun shouted while he held tightly on jungkook who was showing the little boy how to catch fishes.
hyerin nodded and smiled, "don't worry about me, go and have fun." she yelled back, feeling slight pain in her head, she shrugged it off, knowing that it was bound to go away anyway, anytime now.
"are you tired? do you want to go home?" jimin asked hyerin, seating next to her om the grassy fields, glancing at her, he saw how pale the girl has been.
"will you go home with me? with us?" she looked at him, "i like you, jimin. i just thought you'd like to know." she laughed a bit, surprising jimin with the words she had let out.
"y-you what?" jimin asked, flustered as his cheeks were crimson red.
"do i have to repeat it? i like you." she said, smiling faintly at the boy seating next to her, "i want to go home and rest now, please." she mumbled quietly but still managed to let jimin hear it.
jimin hurriedly stood up from his place and went to the boys, "hyerin wants to go home already, c'mon. we can just go here again next week before we start practicing again." he said to the boys, they all then went to grab their things and gave back the rods they borrowed.
-
"hyerin, are you sure you're alright?" jin asked, all the boys were gathered around her with jaehyun seating close next to her, he knew what was happening, she was leaving.
everyone in the room was growing worried and concerned for their friend as the girl was just quiet, flashing a faint smile once in a while and nodding to their questions, "i'm so tired, really tired." she let out as tears suddenly came rushing out of her eyes.
the boys were frozen in spot from the sudden breakdown of the girl, they didn't know why she was suddenly breaking down in front of them, letting it sink down, they all rushed to her side and started saying reassuring words to her.
"i don't want to go, not now." she hugged the nearest one, jimin, he immediately hugged back, rubbing the girl's back as he placed his head on top of hers, "i don't want to leave yet, jimin." she let out, letting more tears fall.
they didn't know what she was exactly talking about, jaehyun was silent at one side next to taehyung, silently clutching the hem of the older one's shirt as he was trying his best to not cry, he was trying so hard to be strong.
if i cry now, she'll cry more, he repeatedly said in his mind, biting hard onto his lips.
taehyung noticed how the younger one was trying so hard to not cry, tears evident in his eyes as his cheeks grew red, "jaehyunie, are you alright?" he asked the boy, clutching his small hand tightly.
he shook his head no, "i don't want her to go yet, hyung." he whispered out, his grip on taehyung's hand grew tighter, really tight, "can i stay with you guys when she's away?" he asked, looking desperately at taehyung.
"what? where is your noona going?" he was confused, looking into the little one's eyes, he then realized and found the answer to his question, now he knew, he knew what jaehyun meant, what hyerin meant when she said she didn't want to go.
"away, somewhere really far from here she said." jaehyun's eyes were focused at his cousin, looking at her with desperate eyes that was asking for her to stay.
taehyung looked at hyerin, pale and tired from all the crying and suffering, she was going away too fast, she was leaving the world they made for them too fast, taehyung wasn't ready and he knew that this will break the other's heart as well.
all were quiet, watching how hyerin was silently breaking in jimin's arms, they were confused as hell, they didn't have a clue of what was happening except for jaehyun and taehyung, jungkook and jimin were by far the most concerned members as they were the closest with the girl.
"hyerin, what is really happening?" jimin asked, still confused and concerned for the girl he has grown attached to, he liked her, he might even already love her but he didn't know how confess to her, he couldn't find the right timing, well its obviously not now.
the girl shook her head, tears kept on flowing from her eyes, looking up to the concerned boy who was holding her tightly in his arms, she mouthed the words that was enough to answer everyone's questions, "i'm dying."
as jimin was too focused with the girl's wellbeing, he didn't manage to properly understand what hyerin had mouthed to him, "shh, it's alright." he whispered to the girl's ear, burying his face on the her neck as he held onto her tighter than ever.
-
hyerin managed to calm herself down, pulling away from jimin, she roamed her eyes around, sparing a glance at everyone in the room, "i'm good, i'm sorry you had to see me breakdown like that." she bowed down, afraid to look back up and meet their eyes.
"are— what the hell just happened? you're clearly not fine, rin." yoongi's eyes were full of confusion, desperately looking for answers as he looked at the girl, "if you're not fine, please do tell us." he continued, a frown not leaving his face.
"i'm just really stressed out and all, but that's really just it." she faintly smiled, glancing at her cousin who was seated at taehyung's lap, biting his lip, "jaehyunie, come here." she patted her lap, motioning for him to seat there.
the others just shrugged it all off, not wanting to bring up a sensitive topic back that might disappoint and sadden the girl.
jaehyun struggled to get to her, the boys helping him get near to hyerin easier, "noona." he cried out as he immediately hugged his cousin, head burying into hyerin's neck as he clutched into her tightly, "don't leave." he whispered.
hyerin hugged back, calming her cousin down, "its fine, i'm here now." she whispered back, planting a kiss onto his cheek gently, "noona's here." she whispered once again that managed to calm him down.
after a while, hyerin went down with the others downstairs, "take care on your way home, and i have something to give you by the way." she ran to kitchen table, grabbing seven paper bags and distributing it to the them, "it's a gift, i hope you all like it." she noticed the smiles they all had as they got their hands on the bags, "who knows it might be the last." she laughed out, the boys having no clue of the hint she had dropped.
"why all the sudden though?" namjoon asked, fascinated at how well designed the paper bag is, his contained crab designs that looked like it was personally painted and drawn by hyerin, "they look cute, thank you." he said, giving hyerin his famous dimple smile.
"you're all welcome, think of it as a thank you gift for everything you guys had done for me." she smiled, glancing at them one by one, "i had fun with my hyerin protection team." she said, quoting the last three words.
"yah! you talk as if you're moving away, shut up." jin jokingly said, as he went to hyerin to give her a hug, "but thank you, i loved the sushi designs." he broke away from the hug and ruffled the girl's hair.
all gave her hug, telling her a simple thanks, "noona, let's have our own hangout day soon, just the two of us, yeah?" jungkook said, planting a small kiss on top of her head, "love you, noona." he gave hyerin finger hearts, as taehyung stepped in and went in for a hug.
"rin, you won't go anywhere tonight, right?" he asked but hyerin didn't answer, "can you call me later tonight?" he asked once more, separating away from the hug.
"if that's what you want." hyerin smiled, pinching taehyung's cheeks, "our birthday is coming, think of that as an early birthday gift." she said, pointing to the paper bag in taehyung's hand.
"i'm sure whatever its in it, i'd love it." he said, pushing the thoughts of liking hyerin away, she's not the girl for you, he muttered in his head, thinking again of what jaehyun has said to him earlier.
-
night came and like as promised hyerin called taehyung, "you told me to call you, did i wake you up?" she greeted on the phone.
"i was waiting for it, actually." he replied, "when are you leaving us?" he asked, patiently waiting for answer from hyerin.
"you know?" hyerin was in shock with what she has heard, "soon, really soon." she managed to whisper the last words out, trying to control her tears from falling down, "i'll miss you, taehyungie." she let out.
"i like you, i mean i know its jimin. but i just thought i'd tell you now, i tried to control it and all, tried telling myself that it was jimin-hyung you love and not me, but every time you'd just smile and talk to me, god, i don't know exactly what to feel." taehyung let out in one breathe, letting out a sigh afterwards, knowing that he had already let out what he had been wanting to say to hyerin.
"i'm sorry, but i'm really grateful to have someone like you." hyerin said, keeping the phone closer to her ear, "take care of jaehyun for me, yeah? you can replace my position in his life now, don't let that smile of his be gone, okay?" tears kept on flowing from her eyes, wiping it continuously as she kept on talking.
"i got him, you don't have to worry about anything, rin." taehyung finally let out the tears he had been holding on and gripped tightly on the phone, wanting to hear the voice of the girl more, "rest anytime you want now, i'll miss you." he last said before hanging up as he couldn't handle the pain anymore.
hyerin wanted to tell him that everything will be fine, that she'll just be away, she wanted to thank taehyung for everything he had done for her, she wanted to apologize that she couldn't return the feelings that he had for her.
dialing another phone number, she calmed herself down and wiped her tear-stained cheeks, "jimin, are you still awake?"she greeted on the phone.
"yup, why did you call? is there a problem?" just hearing the boy's voice made hyerin feel nostalgic as the memories of them suddenly came rushing into her thoughts, "rin? are you still there?" the boy asked as he didn't get any response.
the girl on the other line was silently covering her mouth, trying to control the sounds that were coming from her mouth as she cried herself off, finally getting enough courage, she began to speak, "jimin, thank you so much. for everything you've done, thank you for entering the store the same day as i did, thank you for befriending me and making me feel a lot of things, but i'm sorry, sorry that i have to leave and go. trust me when i say i don't want to as well, but i'm finally reaching it, i'm reaching my finish line." she stopped for a while, taking in a deep breathe as she bit her lip, "you were one of the greatest things that has ever been given to me, i love you, jiminie." she finished off.
jimin didn't know how to respond, was he going deaf or did he really hear the right thing? was hyerin really leaving him and the others? cause if she is then it would be nice to be deaf, even just for those few minutes hyerin had said those words.
"that's not true, that can't be true." he kept on repeating to his self as he didn't notice the tears that were slowly falling from his eyes as he spoke, his heart was beating fast and his mind was full of thoughts, "tell me this is a prank you and jungkook planned, you guys always prank me, you're joking." a fake laugh escaped his mouth as he wiped away his tears that managed to escape.
"yup, i'm right. this is just one of those stupid pranks, right? you can't just leave me, the others! i need you, we all need you! what about jaehyun, huh? are you just gonna leave him alone? fuck this, i'm not believing this bullshit." he cursed out, slightly raising his voice as he talked.
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry." hyerin kept on repeating, both of them crying as they held onto their phones tightly.
finally accepting it, jimin was on his knees, leaning onto the front of his bed, "when? when will you leave?" he asked, his voice already weak and hoarse from all the crying.
"i don't know, but i feel it coming." she answered, clutching her hand tightly as she felt another pain at the back of her head, "take care of yourself and eat properly. don't miss any of your meals and remember whenever you have voice cracks, its normal, they're normal, you're voice is nice and voice cracks just prove how hardworking you are." she continued, saying what she wanted to say before it was too late.
"can't i save you? can't i do something?" jimin asked, still desperate to do anything just to make the girl stay, to let her live her life longer.
hyerin didn't answer for nothing could've been done anyways, she was bound to leave soon and no medication or anything can stop her from going, "just stop crying and be happy, that'll be enough for now." she smiled to herself.
"then i guess i'm doing it now, hyerin—" the other words became unheard as hyerin felt a sharp pain in her head, causing her to drop her phone, jimin was on the other line, calling out for hyerin as he waited for a response.
hyerin grabbed her phone as she made her way to the bed, sitting on it as she clutched the sheets tightly, "go to sleep," she bit her lip, trying to not let a groan escape her mouth, "goodnight, jimin." she hang up, going straight to jaehyun's bedroom afterwards.
heading to her cousin, she planted a kiss on his head, "goodnight, my hero."
she went back to her bedroom and went to message the rest of the boys, sending them a quick goodnight and reminder to open the gift and read the letter.
she was going and the others didn't have a clue about it, jungkook, she thought of the maknae who she was really close to, they promised to hang out soon, just the two of them, but aren't promises meant to be broken, anyways?
laying into her bed, she stared at the ceiling, just waiting for the world to take her away, she didn't feel any sadness or any emotion at all, she was fine, everyone she loved was in good direction and she'd guide them once she's up there.
and then it happened, she felt a throbbing pain in her head but now she didn't cry, she smiled one last time, "goodnight hyerin, you've done well." she muttered to herself as she let the darkness take her away.
and it took only few minutes, and she was gone.
her heartbeat stopped, she finally reached it,
she reached her finish line.
