Chapter One

You never know what's in someone's head, how many screws they're missing, how far you can push them before they break, that's why you should watch how you treat them. You never know how far someone will go to eliminate you.

"Hannah?" I hear my mom bark at me entering my room. The room I just moved back into after 30 years of being separated from it. My husband Dixon and I are just going through a separation. I still haven't signed the papers. And what is the problem, you ask? In his whole entire family's eyes, you can say me. I am the problem because I fight back because I don't accept being bullied and torn to pieces by someone else's words. I didn't get to this point automatically. It took years of my reputation being ripped apart and being hated by total strangers, people in the community who don't even know me. They hate me because of her words. The only reason she hated me was because I loved her son. 

"Yes mom," I say staring at the ceiling, watching the fan spin around in a fast circle. 

"You're going to get Kelvin from the bus?'

I nod. Kelvin is my eight year old son, he is in third grade and is having a great deal of trouble with the divorce.

I can't say I blame him. I am having trouble accepting reality myself. Of course, I'm painted as a horrible mom who split up her family. In their eyes, they bear no responsibility for the years of mistreatment I put myself through, all of the mental abuse I suffered, all of the anxiety I suffered.

My feet practically drag out of my room down the long hallway, and into the living room. I feel like I'm walking in a daze. The days run into each other, and my mind constantly is confused. Am I making the right choice? Can I put up with this abuse a little longer?

I smile at my father, who was watching a repeat wrestling show on the TV. My hands shaky open the front door, and I wobbly walk outside. The cars around make me jump, the loud sounds sending my nerves flying in every which direction.

I hear my phone vibrate inside my jean pocket. 

Can I still take Kelvin to Dinner - Dixon 

I give him more time with our son than he deserves. I treat everybody more decently than they deserve. We shouldn't be going through a divorce because of his mother. This is behavior that he should have stopped. 

Every move I ever made as a mom has been ripped apart, and then I've been ridiculed. She criticizes my every move as a mom, I am always wrong. That is emotionally hard to deal with when I want to be a good mom. When you're always told that you're a bad mother sometimes you start believing it. 

Yes, I texted back, even though I really wanted to write fuck off.