KARMA_7
I like the Mc. How he's not so typical. Like usually they are mostly dumb or not just the brightest and have to rely on side characters more often. I like that there isnt any unnecessary harem but a little romance wouldn't hurt either. The Mc name is also good. Reminds of me of a red haired guy from an anime
yo, author here... I don't know how many are reading this novel of mine, but if you're reading this message of mine, I just want to say, thank you for all those who spend a little bit of there time to give someone like mine work a try... and I promise that I will give you one of the best storys ever... again thank you....
Idea of the story is intriguing but the English really diminishes the quality significantly. What's more, there's way too much dialogue and the fact that exposition is not used to describe what is going on also makes it a pain to read. If your character is tired, then describe how he is tired, not say "*in a tired voice*" and be done with it, that's just lazy and unprofessional. There's also no indication of who is speaking most of the time so you're left wondering who is talking and the lack of exposition also makes the characters look boring. I'm here to read a story, not to uncover the mysteries of what you're writing. If I have to spend extra effort to understand what you're writing, then I might as well not read it.
Review for a read till chapter 3. The style of writing is not really unique, childish perhaps. No real way around it besides constant writing. The review is more for aspects outside of Grammer. I hope youll stick to writing and deliver quality works in the future. The initial chapters bored me, something a Prologue should strive to be the opposite. The story was spread too wide, many days flying by with not much going on. Its best to start off the prologue with something exciting, thrilling, something to make the readers look forward to the next chapter. The nightmare is interesting but nothing urgent or thought provoking is happening. Character actions are simply written for the sake of it. Karma goes to school, does this, does that. There is no personality. I want to know who I am following in the story. There is a difference between 'Karma ate dinner and went to bed' vs 'Karma begrudgingly shoved a spoonful of spinach into his mouth. He swallowed it whole, an action that almost choked him to death. The taste was never pleasant. He had once blamed his mother for the taste. After many attempts of his own cooking, there was no saving it. The plant was simply never made to be eaten.'. There is a lot more personality in the latter.
The Raw passion of the author was visible in every word. But his grasp on grammar and the writing method is what undoes his efforts. But it seems like the author is learning and improving. But unfortunately the author needs (I don't have any authority to say this) to rewrite or revamp the novel a little bit. Story and concept wise, it's cool and has a lot of potential, so I really hope the author succeeds in his first novel.😇