Review Detail of shacochan in GOOD SIN: THE LEGEND OF AN ASURA
Review detail
Review for a read till chapter 3. The style of writing is not really unique, childish perhaps. No real way around it besides constant writing. The review is more for aspects outside of Grammer. I hope youll stick to writing and deliver quality works in the future. The initial chapters bored me, something a Prologue should strive to be the opposite. The story was spread too wide, many days flying by with not much going on. Its best to start off the prologue with something exciting, thrilling, something to make the readers look forward to the next chapter. The nightmare is interesting but nothing urgent or thought provoking is happening. Character actions are simply written for the sake of it. Karma goes to school, does this, does that. There is no personality. I want to know who I am following in the story. There is a difference between 'Karma ate dinner and went to bed' vs 'Karma begrudgingly shoved a spoonful of spinach into his mouth. He swallowed it whole, an action that almost choked him to death. The taste was never pleasant. He had once blamed his mother for the taste. After many attempts of his own cooking, there was no saving it. The plant was simply never made to be eaten.'. There is a lot more personality in the latter.
GOOD SIN: THE LEGEND OF AN ASURA
KARMA_7
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I'll keep in touch and let you know what I think when I do. I like works that take progress slowly, takes its time to set the world and character personalities. Although you've failed to do it decently, I believe it's what you strive for at the core. I want to see you succeed so I can get engrossed in a story I like. Prologue is everything. I suggest you rewrite it multiple times until its decent. I myself am a moody novice writer, lazy and irregular perhaps. In the past few days and month, I've written Prologue after Prologue, all for the same novel, each with different thoughts behind them. When I'm bored, I write something else and go back to the prologue soon after. It's helped me find a writing style I enjoy and 'perfect' the prologue that matters so much. Many readers simply read the first chapter before deciding to continue or move on. Webnovel had recommended your novel as a potential starter. Fate may not be kind the next time around. Perhaps you may find the redundant action boring, perhaps there are better ways to improve in writing. This is what I'll be sticking to for a while however and perhaps you may find it helpful to do the same.
KARMA_7:I changed the format and writing style from ch 15 a bit, so please look forward to it. also thank you for going through the trouble of writing a review, I'll work on it.
Yo, I practice my writing style and tried to rewrite again, as of this moment, I wrote the first five chapters. Mind giving them a try?
shacochan:I'll keep in touch and let you know what I think when I do. I like works that take progress slowly, takes its time to set the world and character personalities. Although you've failed to do it decently, I believe it's what you strive for at the core. I want to see you succeed so I can get engrossed in a story I like. Prologue is everything. I suggest you rewrite it multiple times until its decent. I myself am a moody novice writer, lazy and irregular perhaps. In the past few days and month, I've written Prologue after Prologue, all for the same novel, each with different thoughts behind them. When I'm bored, I write something else and go back to the prologue soon after. It's helped me find a writing style I enjoy and 'perfect' the prologue that matters so much. Many readers simply read the first chapter before deciding to continue or move on. Webnovel had recommended your novel as a potential starter. Fate may not be kind the next time around. Perhaps you may find the redundant action boring, perhaps there are better ways to improve in writing. This is what I'll be sticking to for a while however and perhaps you may find it helpful to do the same.
KARMA_7:Yo, I practice my writing style and tried to rewrite again, as of this moment, I wrote the first five chapters. Mind giving them a try?