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Go Away I'm Watching Porn

Issei Hyoudou is the Sekiryutei. Not many people knew how powerful he is, or what he's done. And he's perfectly fine with that. He's done with people. All he wants to do is sit back, relax, and watch porn without being bothered by school or homework or devils or fallen angels or annoying conspiracies and why the hell won't they just leave him alone already! Perv OP Issei Harem.

Zero_Hand · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
25 Chs

Chapter 21

Six and a half years ago:

The Forest of Familiars:

"This place is cool. I feel like I'm in one of those jungle adventure movies." Issei grinned as he ran about looking at each tree and eagerly and genuinely expecting something to try and bite his face off, which, in hindsight, wasn't too far off the mark given where he was. "You guys think something might try to kill us?"

"Riser only wishes." Riser grumbled as he followed Issei, if only to keep tabs on what the kid potentially broke this time. "Remind Riser again why he has to join in on this pointless expedition again?"

Jasmine rolled her eyes and wiped the sweat that was already saturating her forehead. The forest was many things, but the Devils and guides she read conveniently forgot to mention how unbearably humid this place was. "Quit your bitching, Bird Person. I'm here to grab ingredients and supplies for my projects and experiments. Issei's here for the same, and to keep an eye on me. And you're here because of the rules of this place and we have to have a Devil sponsor with us at all times outside of our guide, who I am still convinced is a Pokemon knockoff."

The middle aged looking Devil in front of the group with a oddly familiar red hat, shorts and backpack groaned. "If I didn't hate civilization so much, I'd have gotten a lawyer and sued whoever the hell used my likeness for that stupid cartoon."

Joke's on him. It was Falbium. Poor guy was not going to win any money this century. One did not simply maintain the role as a Maou and be lazy as fuck without knowing what you were doing and having one hell of a legal group behind you.

"Fair enough, but Riser still fails to understand why we must do this in person and not hire some plebeians to do it for us."

"Because the plebs don't know shit! Oooh! I think I saw something with teeth over there!" Issei shouted from the background before running past everyone and dove into some bushes. "Agh! No! It was not teeth I saw but thorns! Thorns of pain! I vastly prefer teeth to thorns!"

"Expanding on what the little idiot just said, the plebs really don't know jack shit when it comes to preserving materials." Jasmine distinctively ignored Issei's cries of pain and help. "The longer it takes for me to get my hands on my materials, the less effective it is. That, and it's cheaper this way."

The market equivalent of what she was looking for was watered down on average and mafia extortion at barely passable levels. Looking for third parties to get better quality goods weren't any better. Assholes tried to charge her a triple premium for composites and samples that she was certain they were going to contaminate or ruin by the time they got back to her. Fuck that.

"Are these samples you seek that important to your work?" Riser asked skeptically. "And are they that expensive to obtain quality samples?"

She gave him a dry look. "They were charging more than Phoenix tears for some of these things simply because there isn't much of a market for them simply because the supply was low."

The Devil flinched. He knew he wasn't exactly the most sympathetic when it came to the financial limitations of the lower class, but even he was aware of just how expensive his family's trademark product was. "Your argument has been made. Though Riser must debate whether these projects of yours are worth the headache in the first place."

"The thorns have teeth! This does not rectify the situation in the slightest, for they are still thorns! Why?! Why does this stupid weed have teeth in the thorns and not in the flower head like most carnivorous fauna!?"

"Oh for fucks', just burn the damn thing already! What kind of dragon are you?!" Jasmine snapped at Issei before returning to the conversation she was having. "Look. I'm not saying shit until I make actual progress, but bottom line Bird Person? If this goes though, Phoenix Tears will be a distant afterthought on the market, and you'll be boasting for centuries that you're part of my story."

"Hoh? You boast grand accomplishments for a mere human." Riser lifted a skeptical eyebrow.

"So? We all know that my boasts aren't empty like yours." She stood her ground.

BOOM!

Or she tried to until she was literally thrown off by the shockwave of the explosion behind her.

"Damn it Issei! I said burn the fucker, not nuke it!"

"You try risking thorn teeth tentacle felatio and maintaining composure!"

The Devil and teen looked at the young boy approaching them dressed in torn and burnt rags, showing no remorse for the small crater behind him littered with dark crimson flames. The scraps of cloth he still wore barely covered his modesty, and even that was likely to change within the next minute or two with how precariously it was hanging off of his shoulders and hips.

That said, no one could argue that Issei was in very fit shape for his age if the tone of his muscles was any indication.

Jasmine held her head in a hand. "How many sets of clothes have you gone through so far? I swear you go through the things like a hentai heroine."

"Hey it's not bad this time. This is only my third set since the trip started." Issei pouted, manifesting the Boosted Gear and cocking the decorative spring back.

Two recoils later and he was once more fully clothed as if nothing had ever happened.

No one dared to ask what happened to his other sets.

"Ugh. You know what? So long as it isn't my money being torn apart every five seconds, do what you want." She shook her head and turned to the understandably befuddled and somewhat annoyed guide. "You said that we were close to what I asked for, right? Let's go before this idiot throws himself in another den of something that wants to eat him."

"R-Right." Satooshi glanced at the crater warily. "We'll have to do something about the fires first…"

As if on command, all the embers smothered themselves instantly. All eyes turned on Issei.

"Done."

The guide glared at Jasmine.

"… Fine. You'll get double commission after we get back if we find what I asked."

"Triple."

"Bitch, I practically live with the kid. Take your pity pay and be happy."

"Tch."

Half an hour later, the group of four found themselves by a giant and pristine lake.

"Whoa." Issei looked around, clearly impressed. "I've never seen water this clear before."

"That's because of the water nymphs." Satooshi smirked. "There's a whole colony living in there, and their magic and nature purifies the water here. The more there are, the cleaner the body."

"Cool." Issei turned to Jasmine. "Were you after this water Nee-san?"

"Nah. Nymph purified water's not that hard to get your hands on." She waved her hand and began to walk around the coast. "But there aren't many bodies of water that have colonies as large as the one our guide talked about. Fewer that are as accessible as this one."

"Meaning that what you're looking for can only be found with these certain conditions." The boy instantly came to the correct conclusion. "Is it some kind of monster? Or fungus?"

"It's a special plant. I can cultivate it in small amounts back at the school, but it only grows naturally in select situations." Jasmine elaborated. "You have no idea how many times I had to get on my knees to get the setup needed to cultivate this shit."

"Humph. And here I thought your days of whoring yourself were behind you." Riser snorted, more mildly disappointed than anything.

Jasmine waved away his scathing comment. The world was built on sex. A person that genuinely looked down on her, or anyone for that matter, because she gave head for a favor or two was a person that wasn't going to get far in the world of the powerful. "Azazel has a lot of fun toys when it comes to the soul and Sacred Gears, but the Fallen's further behind in regards to medical equipment, pharmaceuticals, and research. They can do drugs and the like fairly well, but that's about it. I thought you knew that already."

"Humph. Forgive Riser for expecting the leader of the Grigori to have access to some reasonable experimental resources. Apparently Riser's expectations were misplaced once more."

Splash.

She opened her mouth to riposte, only to get interrupted by a new sound.

She looked behind her to see the water of the lake ripple ominously.

She looked around some more to find that Issei wasn't around.

"What are the odds that Issei didn't jump into the water willingly for some stupid reason that will make us question our rationality?"

"Low enough that Riser feels safer if we all take a few steps away from shore. Unlike the idiot, Riser only brought one set of clothes with him on this trip."

She turned to their guide. "Against my better judgement, what's the biggest and or most dangerous monster in that lake?"

Before the poor Devil could answer, the surface of the body of water fifty meters exploded up and out in a violent dance of writhing necks, roaring heads, and a pissed off prepubescent boy that was entangled in the middle of the mess.

A hydra. A fully grown Hydra was in the middle of the damn lake and had decided that Issei would serve as a decent midday snack.

She turned to glare at the shrinking Devil. "At what point were you going to warn me that I was walking along the edge of a HYDRA's territory?"

"I-I swear I'm as surprised as you are! Hydras usually stick to the deep water! They rarely ever come to the shore unless something disturbs them or it's mating season, and they migrate for that!"

While Jasmine manhandled their less than stellar guide, Riser watched Issei pop in and out of the water's surface, half wrestling with the dozen elongated heads and half ranting about whatever absurd idea had gotten in the boy's head this time.

He wasn't worried about Issei. That much. The boy was stronger than most people gave him credit for, even after acknowledging the fact he was a genius.

"Hm. That foolish beast must have assumed the idiot was trying to take his territory." Hydras were known to be cousins of Dragons after all. It wouldn't be surprising if it mistook Issei's aura from a distance as a rival and tried to strike first.

Likewise, Issei probably allowed himself to be taken out of fear of what it might have possibly done to Jasmine had it aimed for her first. He was surprisingly precautious and considerate like that, in a stupid and reckless way.

It only took a glance for him to tell that the Sekiryuutei wasn't taking the fight seriously, regardless of how much he was yelling and swearing. Not only was the boy not using Presence, but he wasn't using Blind Eternity either. He only used his second Sacred Gear in the direst of situations, preferring to use the Boosted Gear and his own abilities otherwise.

Already he could see Issei's efforts taking effect. Several of the heads were having trouble moving properly, or writhing in pain. No doubt a result of some twisted application of white magic while in arms reach of the boy. Instead of trying to subdue and drown Issei, it would have been better if the monster had just tried to tear him apart with their many heads and fangs, not that it would have changed the result.

Even if there was need to help Issei, and he wanted to, there was little he could do. Fighting a sturdy beast like the Hydra with its legendary regeneration properties in its home environment did not match well with his fire element. The best he could do was fly above the thing and annoy it with fire attacks. It would hurt the thing, but yield little results. If he tried to get closer, he risked getting ensnared by its many heads and pulled under, where his prospects were vastly limited.

He glanced at Jasmine, who was now shaking their guide by the front of his shirt. All things considered, the holder of Siren's Harmony was better suited to put an end to the current situation. He had seen the woman sing even the most savage and vile beasts, and Issei, to sleep within minutes with little effort, regardless of their agitated state. He doubted the Hydra would be any different.

He stepped a few feet to the right to avoid a rather large wave of water from hitting him.

Then again, there was no telling how effective her abilities were under water, and her powers would probably subdue Issei at the same time. Should one of the monster's heads remain conscious after her efforts, it probably wouldn't end well.

He felt a well of power start to build in front of him. Fire was starting to swell and turn, about to be unleashed and feed off of the world around it. His nature as a Phoenix made his body thrum and shake with near ecstasy as his element became more prominent in the world around him.

Oh well. At the end of the day, there was no point in worrying.

The temperature of the lakeshore spiked as a pillar of black and red flames erupted like a volcano from the lake, evaporating the water it came in contact with and impaling the clouds above effortlessly.

That child was far too dangerous and absurd to die to something as meager as a Hydra.

If there was any benefit to babysitting that absurd child and managing the near perpetual headaches he caused, it was the fact that he was exposed to that fire from time to time.

His body craved every flicker of embers generated, every wave of heat emitted. It was in small increments, but he could feel himself getting stronger bit by bit as the days passed. He was not taking in the power of a Dragon, but fire itself.

Issei knew of this. Even without talking about it once, the boy knew. He could tell the second their eyes met that Riser was benefitting from the exposure, and yet didn't say or do anything. Was it out of pity, or his form of compensation, Riser didn't know, but somehow the two had made an unspoken agreement to allow their setup to continue as if nothing was amiss.

A gust of wind and a roar from above on the other hand, told Riser that something else was amiss.

"Damn it Issei! I can't go anywhere with you!" Jasmine swore.

The water on the lake splashed as a tired and once again naked Issei stumbled onto the shore, this time carrying the half burned and completely dead head of the Hydra he had just killed. "Hah. Hah. What was that Nee-san? Kinda, tired at the moment. Fighting under water really sucks. Like, a lot. I'd like it if I never had to do it again. Got a present though. Venom sacks should be intact. You needed Hydra Venom for another project you were planning, right? You think this is enough? 'Cause I'm pretty sure there were a few more heads down there I can grab if we really need them."

"Ddraig." A deep yet feminine voice growled from above. "I see that your latest container has as much respect for my property as you do."

Above them floated a beautiful blue western dragon with her wings outstretched. While they had somehow completely missed her approach before, everyone present could now feel the near overwhelming amount of power and aura she emitted just by existing above them.

"Dragon King Tiamat." Riser blinked in genuine surprise. While the Familiar Forest was officially her territory, he understood that she was rarely ever present, let alone visited the Devils and guests that made use of it.

"A-Ah. Tiamat. Long time no see." Ddraig laughed nervously from within Issei's left hand.

"Hoh?" Suddenly, the black Sacred Gear on Issei's right hand materialized, signaling that Ghost had decided to join in. "So that's Tiamat, eh? Not bad. Not bad at all."

"Pretty." Issei's eyes sparkled in childish awe. Riser didn't understand what made a Dragon appealing to its kin, but clearly Tiamat checked Issei's boxes for whatever reason.

"That…" The blue monster's eyes were drawn to the black Sacred Gear with some surprise. "So the rumors were true. Our grand ancestor has graced our realm with his presence."

"I'm warning you ahead of time Tiamat, be prepared to be incredibly disappointed." Ddraig sighed.

"I'm surprised. Normally you are more supported of your host."

"I wasn't talking about him."

All eyes slowly gravitated to the black Sacred Gear.

"Ahahaha. Ah that would almost hurt if it wasn't a running joke already." Ghost laughed, completely unashamed by the lack of respect he was getting.

"Um. Tia? I'm gonna have to side with Ddraig on this." Issei spoke up. "Ghost's kinda an ass. Even by underworld standards."

Apparently, calling a Dragon King by anything by their full name as a sign of familiarity without their permission was a quick way to get on their bad side.

Within an instant, the colossal dragon's head was mere feet away from Issei, and enough power radiated from her body that all the water from the lake shore was being pushed away leaving nothing but mulch and mud nearby.

It was enough power to drive Satooshi and Jasmine to their knees and push Riser back a few steps.

"You dare presume to speak to me in such a familiar tone, child?"

Issei however didn't even flinch, and maintained unwavering eye contact.

"I've talked to Ddraig and Ghost like this for years. I talk to the leaders of the three factions like this. It's how I talk to people in general. I hate lying to people and pretending I'm something I'm not. Why would I lie to someone as pretty as you?"

His statements and declaration caught her off guard. There were not many people out there that could handle being the focus of her attention. There were even fewer that could keep as cool as this child had just done so.

Her head leaned forward, getting a better look at Ddraig's new host. What made this whelp tick? What made him different than his peers?

Something inside of her was stirring, now that she bothered to pay attention. Something about this boy was making her react.

"You… are different, child. Something is very queer about you."

She floated around him, trying to take in his image from several angles before coming up with nothing.

Seeing as she wasn't going to get results from this angle, she decided to pick another one.

A flash of light later, there was no longer a blue dragon floating in the air, but a beautiful blue woman standing in front of Issei. From blue eyes to long blue hair to blue clothes, she was the epitome of a cool beauty.

With a perfect gait, she closed the distance between the two and grabbed his face with both hands, looking deep into his eyes for something she could not identify. Surprisingly, or not, Issei allowed her to manhandle him without a complaint.

"What is it about you that I am sensing?" She muttered, her melodious voice causing the child to all but melt in her hands. "Ddraig, why am I feeling peculiar around your host? Is it some ability of his?"

"Peculiar?" Ddraig echoed confused. "Why would you… unless… no. Oh no. Please don't tell me…"

"Ahahaha!" Ghost burst out laughing. "No way! This is too good! She can tell instinctively what his nature is even if she doesn't actively know! Wait! Wait! Don't do anything yet! I know I have some popcorn in here somewhere for moments just like this! Ahahaha!"

"His nature?" Tiamat frowned in confusion. What would this boy's nature have to do with her? She was the Mother of Dragons. The Chaos Karma Dragon. The Sea Beast of Babylon that gave birth to monsters and gods alike. Why would she… she…

Her breathing grew heavy as she looked deeper into Issei's eyes, as he stared back into hers.

"No. It couldn't be…" She whispered, licking her lips tentatively as a forgotten hunger in her started to grow.

Call it a moment of ignorance. Call it horrible timing. Call it being fucking retarded. Call it whatever you will.

But at that moment, Issei did the dumbest thing possible.

"Do you wanna be part of my Harem?"

He put a crack in the dam.

And the dam broke.

o. o. o.

Current day:

"Anyone want to explain to me why we are here and not preparing for a possible Armageddon?" Azazel growled uncharacteristically into the video conference. He had just gotten the report from the Mirren about Issei's "awakening", (ten minutes AFTER Vali had sent him a call telling him the exact same thing. Presence users were particularly sensitive when another user went ballistic) and was running the gambit in damage control mode.

"Because it's my fault and Issei's already calming down." Beelzebub's image popped up. No one missed the fact that he was wearing an eyepatch over the eye that replaced the one Issei had demolished years prior.

"Ajuka. Please don't tell me that you antagonized Issei as part of some asinine plot you conjured up. We agreed that none of us would do anything regarding him without informing the others." Sirzechs frowned.

"No. Nothing like that. What happened was merely an asinine plot I conjured up going wrong without telling you that inadvertently set off Issei as a result." The Maou admitted shamelessly.

"You WHAT?!" Serafall yelled, abandoning her calm demeanor as she stood up and glared at the screen. No one missed how her body was twitching erratically, no doubt the shadow pains of her own injuries flaring up against her will at the thought of the teen's rage peaking once again.

"I underestimated how foolish and desperate my little brother was in his pursuit for trophies."

"Your… I see. So it was Diodora Astaroth that was responsible for the recent frequent degradation of holy maidens after all." Michael frowned before connecting another dot. "You were responsible for Argento coming to Kuoh in the first place."

"Her kidnapping was already underway by the time I found out. I merely changed the path she took. My little brother was responsible for those events, but not without help. He's in contact with the Khaos Brigade."

"You assumed that Diodora wasn't stupid enough to make any moves after the girl was found and under Rias' and Sona's watch. Afterwards you'd privately investigate her situation and quietly use your discoveries to legitimately take him under investigation without drawing attention." Falbium huffed. "I can't blame you for your absurd roundabout approach. But, the fact that he managed to do anything while the Mirren were still on watch, Diodora isn't the only one we apparently underestimated."

"I'm calling Sona." Serafall picked up her phone. "I'll find out what's going on."

"I'm going to pluck more than a few feathers by the end of the night." Azazel growled. He had a traitor. No. That much was a given, but a traitor in the Mirren, or someone that could order them around was unexpected and unnerving. It was a minor blessing that he was finding about it now instead of later, but the fact that this bastard existed at all was enough to piss him off.

"Do we know the extent of the damages? And the exact cause of the boy's awakening?" Michael spoke up. "Issei's temper is not subtle when roused."

"Asami's hurt. Badly." Ajuka stated, not reacting the wave of flinches from the others. "She'll recover. We wouldn't be having this conversation if she was beyond hope. I can only assume that Raynare is in a similar state. Other than that, I'm pretty sure I heard a Church explode in the background at the end of my conversation with Issei."

"I'll check up on her as soon as I can." Azazel grimaced. The girl wasn't exactly an elite combatant. He hoped he didn't accidentally send her to her death with this mission.

"What of your brother? And the other younger generation in Kuoh?" Falbium asked.

"Alive and safe. Though in the case of the former, confined and awaiting his imminent punishment." Ajuka's stare grew hard. "Issei was rather particular about what his fate would be, given how close I was to, and I quote, "becoming an only child"."

"He managed to hold himself back?" Sirzechs blinked in surprise.

"Barely. He called me himself. Over my brother's and his peerage's unconscious bodies. Given his tone… we're lucky he had the self-restraint to think as clearly as he did. It was close."

"So what is the restitution?" Michael pondered. He knew Issei well enough to determine that Diodora's fate would not be pleasant in the slightest. The boy had inherited too much of Ghost's personality to be anything but simple.

"I will publically announce my brother's crimes against the church this morning. He will still keep his name, but his rights as a King, and his Peerage will be stripped of him. Permanently. He will also be under surveillance and probation for at least a decade. I will make sure my parents will have no option but to comply."

Sirzechs and Serafall flinched, knowing exactly just how badly that would turn out for their friend in the short term.

Azazel whistled. "Stripped and laid bare for the world to see by his own brother, huh? A punishment that hits both of you where it hurts while not completely upsetting the political system. Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Issei would come up with."

"Issei's at his house." Serafall shut off her phone.

"That was fast." Sirzechs frowned.

"Sona's helping him manage the medical equipment in his house while he's operating on Asami. We couldn't say much." She shook her head. "Needless to say everyone that doesn't know better is terrified right now."

"Will Asami recover? What of Raynare?" Azazel probed.

"They're working on Asami now, and it looks like they're making progress. Raynare though, it doesn't look good. Sona's not a medic, but the damage she saw was extensive. Thankfully, the nun he rescued has Twilight Healing, so both of their odds are good."

Everyone in the conversation let out a sigh of relief. Issei was unstable at the best of times, but if someone died under his watch or care…

"They're there Sirzechs. All of the kids are at Issei's place right now. And they're spooked. Rightfully so. We won't be able to keep hiding everything from them after this. I'd want answers if I were their shoes. It's only a matter of time until they figure out who he is. Nobody knows about Presence, but there are still records of the feeling he gave off five years ago."

"The Awakened Raging Crimson Dragon." Sirzechs shook his head bitterly, repeating the haphazard and incomplete description that the underworld news put out.

Unfortunately, none of them could get the truth out as things were. They needed a stable political climate in order to get the peace accords agreed upon by their Factions as a whole. Afterwards though…

"While we're on the topic of misinformation and half-truths, I feel it necessary to inform you all of something else from my conversation with Issei." Ajuka sighed heavily. "Our plan won't work."

"Sorry?" Falbium lifted an eyebrow.

"Our idea for Issei to interfere with Rias' engagement. It won't work." Beelzebub clarified. "The boy's not stable enough to endure the exposure that it would require. Not in the time we have. Perhaps if we had another year we could manage, but not within a few months. It's just not feasible."

"Tch. I was afraid that someone else would come to that conclusion. I hoped that it was just me." Azazel scratched the side of his head. Clearly he was of the same opinion.

"It's that bad?" Serafall looked disappointed.

"He gives off an aggressive and strong front that resembles what he used to be like, but it's blatantly obvious he's desperately trying to keep himself together. One strong push in the wrong direction and, well we have tonight. Tell me, what do you think the odds are of Riser saying or doing something along those lines if they see one another again in the near future?"

They didn't have to try hard to imagine what would happen seeing as they had already witnessed the watered down version several times back before the boy's life turned to shit.

It would without question end up in a massacre before anyone would be able to stop it. Literally. They wouldn't be able to stop it.

Phoenix regeneration be damned. It wasn't even a contest.

"What, what if we told him what was happening?" Sirzechs probed slowly. "He knows something's up already. If we just let him know…"

"Rejected." Azazel shot him down immediately. "If Issei even suspected that she knew where he was, he'd either have a panic attack or bunker down and start preparing for war and immediately assume we are unreliable. We already screwed the kid over once, and thanks to Ajuka we just lost what little clout we had managed to scrounge up since then. It's not unimaginable to him that we'd be forced to do it again. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the kid tried to run and vanish from the grid. The only reason why we thought the plan would work in the first place was because we assumed he had recovered enough to not go on a rampage if a button or two was pressed. Tonight proved us otherwise."

"Sorry Sirzechs. But we're going to have to find another way around your sister's situation." Falbium felt for his friend, he really did, but a bad plan was a bad plan.

The current Lucifer looked like he clearly wanted to argue against their decision, but with a heavy sigh he dropped his head in defeat. He knew that his plan was a longshot and heavily dependent on Issei's mental condition from the start. If the others said that the boy wasn't ready, then it would do more harm than good if he tried to push is luck. "Fine. I'll, I'll try thinking of something else. Maybe I can negotiate maintaining the original date to buy more time."

Knowing better than to go deeper into the subject, Azazel changed gears. "Other than Ajuka's dumbass brother, Asami, and Raynare, is anyone else in Kuoh hurt?"

Serafall shrugged. "The priestess was kidnapped, which set off everything to begin with, but she was quickly. She seems out of it, but, well she's in Issei's care. Unless he needs help, there's no point in trying to tend to her. As for everyone else, other than being severely shell shocked they seem to be in one piece. Doubt we can say the same for the ones involved in the attack though. And all those unfortunate people in Kuoh that had heart attacks and seizures from the sudden shock of Presence exposure."

The others grimaced. They knew firsthand just how bad Issei could get when on a rampage, and did not envy the odds of survival for anyone that wasn't at least Ultimate Class.

"Odds of getting anything worthwhile from charred remains is pretty low." Azazel lamented. Issei's fire was intense at its lowest setting, and more oppressive than the literal sun when fully unleashed. They'd be lucky if they found bones from the church's remains once the flames died out. "The Mirren are compromised. I'm going to personally go in with my own agents to investigate them while cleaning up the mess. Sirzechs. Serafall. I hope you guys manage to send word to your siblings so there aren't any more misunderstandings."

"Consider it done." Serafall already was typing a test message to her sister. "What about Issei? He's likely to shut himself off from the world again after tonight."

"We can only wait and see as far as that goes." Falbium glanced at Azazel. "Either way, I think it would be best if we spoke to Jasmine. I know we agreed to keep direct contact between the two to a minimum, but I'm pretty sure that we can make an exception this time."

"That might make things worse." Ajuka sighed. "We split them up because he was over reliant on the girl after the mess. He was never going to recover properly if he attached himself to her side like before."

"Let's wait and see like Falbium said." Azazel compromised. "Issei's unstable, but he is better than he was back then. If he hasn't regressed too much, it wouldn't hurt to arrange something quick. They haven't seen one another in years after all. It might actually be worse if we keep them apart for much longer. They are human after all. Time is much shorter for them."

Some more than others.

"I don't see the harm in that much." Serafall agreed. "Knowing little Vali, he's already told her that Issei's been set off. She's likely waiting for us to tell her what's going on right now."

"Great. Another mark on my list of fires to put out." Azazel sighed, already rearranging his priorities. Jasmine could be a real vindictive bitch when she thought she was being pushed to the side on something important. "Unless anyone has anything else they want to get off their chests, I'm going. Today's going to be a bitch and a half for all of us to get through. Above all else, we have to make sure that the public doesn't figure out Issei's still alive."

"No. That's all for now. Please make sure to keep the press in check when I make my announcement. I'll make sure that my brother is kept in a secure location for quite some time." Ajuka clearly was on the same page.

"Don't you dare think this means you're off the hook Beelzebub." The Leader of the Fallen frowned. "Issei might be getting his pound of flesh soon, but we are all owed our due from you for this stunt."

"The thought never crossed my mind." The guilty party bowed his head briefly. "I intend to make sure all my dues are paid in full without exception."

"Does your brother know that Issei is the Sekiryuutei?" Michael asked, clearly concerned.

The Maou's eyes narrowed. "Like I said. He's going to be kept in a secure location for a while."

"… I'll manage Sona and Rias and make sure they don't do anything stupid." Serafall said her piece. "Sirzechs, Falbium, Michael. You three stand back. If too many of us move at once, we'll draw attention."

"Sounds about right." Falbium shrugged. "Here's to another day on the job. Lady. Gentlemen. For what it's worth, good luck."

"We'll definitely need it." Sirzechs sighed, cutting off his connection to the conversation.

His sentiments were mirrored by the others as one by one, their screens went black.

o. o. o.

Somewhere.

Rias opened her eyes to a location that was distinctively not Kuoh.

She remembered the events of the previous night. She remembered feeling Issei's wrath radiate from his very existence. She remembered being in his house. She remembered going to his room. And then…

"Where, am I?" She looked around confused. She recognized that she was not in the human realm, but that didn't exactly narrow down the answer.

She was inside the mouth of a massive cave. The maw was wide enough for a multistory building to easily fit in, and yet she could not make out what was outside. It was as if the light of the sun produced a haze thick enough to cloud any attempt to peer past it.

Knowing that standing around wasn't going to lead anywhere, she decided to walk in the other direction of the haze, into the depths of the cave. A normal human would have been blinded by the darkness, but as a Devil she saw everything as clear as day. Or she should have.

Inside though was… not dark, but shrouded. As if a cloak of dust prevented her from making out anything in detail.

The cavern was spacious, and intimidating, but not oppressive or ominous like it should have been. Instead she felt a sense of loss and abandonment. It was as if something vital to this domain was missing, and as a result had a crippling effect on the environment as a whole.

But she knew instantly that the cave was not empty.

Just standing where she was, her instincts told her that something was deep inside. Something… significant.

The deeper she went, the more and less she saw. And the more confused she became.

It was clear that the cave was not natural. The ground too flat. The walls too smooth and calculated. Supplementary caves and branches could be seen the further she walked, all neatly made and positioned, yet clearly unused for quite some time.

Some of the rooms looked like they had been lived in, or designed to be lived in. Chairs. Tables. She even passed what looked like a kitchen, a library, and even a laboratory.

All covered in dust at best… and absolutely ravaged like a wild beast the size of a house at worst judging from the claw marks at worst.

She didn't see much of the latter, which was odd considering the nature of the damage. It was almost as if the culprit had targeted those locations specifically and left everything else alone untouched for years in pristine condition.

Even further in the back she saw to her disbelief a room filled with a rather sizeable pile of gold, jewels, treasures, trinkets, and other valuables. No doubt worth a large fortune if sold at a fraction of the market price.

The pile itself was not spared the treatment of disuse as the other chambers. The glittering of valuables marred and masked by a thick coat of dust, treated and seen by time as something not even worth acknowledging.

A bit past that was a small underground lake of all things, glittering with pristine clear water. It was clearly the most visually appealing and pristine mark in the cave, but that merely may have been because the water clearly went somewhere deep below, allowing it to flow freely and remain uncluttered by debris.

"What is this place?" She muttered to herself as she carried on. This cave was clearly designed to shelter a large number of people. She would have assumed that it was attacked by something from the occasional gouges on the floors and walls, but that didn't feel right to her. It was made too big to be a conventional dwelling. Even far into the back the ceiling was designed to house a monster rather than people, despite the amenities it held.

In a way, this place felt more like an abandoned home than a habitable land formation.

Only when she finally approached the back did she finally feel it.

Her skin rippled and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she heard the faint rumblings of something. She didn't know what it was, but she could clearly tell where it originated.

Unlike the rest of the cave, the final opening in the back had been absolutely ravaged. The titanic entrance was uneven and mauled, and there was a significant pile of debris cluttered around the base that blocked a third of the original gap. Whatever care the other chambers of the dwelling had received were completely absent with this one. And yet, this was the only part of the cave that felt like something of value was inside. That it actually had some purpose and actively used.

Something significant. Something massive enough to warrant the size and scale of the cave itself.

Something that was making a low rumbling sound that caused her very bones to shake.

Not taking any chances, Rias skirted to the side of the cave so that she could peek around the edge, just in case whatever was inside was not friendly.

Her breath hitched as she looked inside.

It was dark in the room. Dark in a way that even her eyes couldn't completely see past the shadows clearly.

But not nearly dark enough to hide the existence of the colossus of a crimson dragon that was sleeping inside.

She couldn't get a good read on its size as it was curled into a tight ball, but given how tall it was just lying on the ground, she hazard that it might be over a hundred meters from nose to tail. Its mammoth wings folded against its back provided it a sort of makeshift blanket, but did nothing to hide the endless ridges and horns that littered its head, spine, and body like a savage armor.

It was a magnificent specimen of its species, not that Rias had met many dragons herself.

But what surprised her the most was the sight of a familiar blonde nun resting literally right next to the beast's tail where it covered the bulk of its head.

"A-Asia?" Rias berated herself for speaking before her mind caught up to her.

"Wh-who's there?" The human immediately jumped up in alarm and looked around, clearly on guard.

"It's me. Rias." She didn't move from her position and kept her volume low, but she did wave her hand to show her location. "Are you ok? What on earth are you doing there?"

The nun visibly sagged in relief, sighing happily. "I-I'm fine. I woke up here and… Rias, I think, I think I know where we are."

"I'm pretty sure we're in a dragon's cave." Rias tried to keep a sense of humor to make things manageable for herself. "Why are you still there?"

"Rias. I, I think this is Issei."

"… What?"

"The dragon. It's Issei." The nun clarified, turning back to the beast. "I think we're in his soul. Or something like that."

"I, how?" She did not expect to be having a conversation of this nature when she woke up earlier.

"It feels like him." Asia started, before shaking her head and turning to the monster in question. Without giving a warning, she reached out and began to scratch one of the plate like ridges on the monster's tail. She would have gone for his head, but it was hidden behind his tail while curled up.

The cave suddenly began to rumble deeply, but not in a menacing way.

"He's, purring?" Rias wouldn't believe what she was witnessing unless she saw it with her own eyes.

"Look at his scales." Asia prodded.

Indeed, as the monster subconsciously eased under the Nun's attention, the countless ridges on its body began to relax and ease against its body. It was as if thousands of pieces of paper that had been folded to stick out and make sharp points were easing and flattening themselves to make a smooth and soft surface once more.

Rias still couldn't see exact details in the dark of the dirty cave, but what she saw, unnerved her.

Now that the aggressive ridges were gone, it was clear that something was not right with the beast.

Its ribs were sticking out prominently through its scales. The regal shimmer that all majestic dragons were known for was absent, hidden and marred under dust and lack of care.

It was powerful. There was no question about that, but at the same time the titanic beast in front of her seemed to be absolutely devoid and drained of energy.

"That's…" The Devil's eyes widened in surprise. If she could see this much in such poor conditions, than the true extent of the damage and condition the dragon was in must be horrifying.

"He's not well." Asia gently patted a tiny part of the beast's body. By all rights, the size difference between the two should have meant that she shouldn't even be noticed, and yet the effect she had was immense. "He hasn't been for a long time."

As if reacting to her words, the monster known as Issei let out a long unconscious groan from its maw that reverberated through the cave. Due to its deep pitch, it took a moment for Rias to realize that what she was hearing was most likely a pitiful whimper.

Looking back at the rest of the cave, Rias tried to piece everything together. If they really were inside Issei's soul, then this cave was a representation of his psyche.

A massive cave designed to house many, and yet the only occupant, a great beast that should be feared and respected by all was huddled in the back, hiding from the world and slowly decaying alive on his own violation.

Gold and amenities, resources and knowledge, left untouched.

Rooms gathering dust, or a sparse select few destroyed in anger.

"He's not meant to be alone."

She had heard those words from her brother and Asami, but it was only now that she began to truly understand the impact of those words.

"Oh. Issei."

She didn't know why Asia appeared next to him while she was at the other side of the cave, but the fact that she had been allowed to get this far meant that at least on some level he trusted her.

She took a step forward into the chamber.

Issei's body instantly tensed up. The flat and soft crimson scales instantly went rigid and pointed into countless tips all over his frame, and the cave itself began to rumble menacingly as if a volcano was about to erupt.

"No. No it's okay Issei. It's just Rias." Asia quickly tried to soothe him, rubbing his primed body with both hands in a desperate attempt to ease the alarmed beast. "She's our friend, remember? She's not going to hurt you. She's worried, like I am. Don't worry. It's not the scary ghost lady."

"Scary ghost lady?" Rias couldn't tell what to focus on first, the rumbling cave, the agitated dragon, or what Asia had just said.

Thankfully, the rumbling died off as it bled off into what could only be interpreted as another pitiful moan after a few seconds.

"I, there's something here other than us." Asia glanced back. "There's a ghost, or something like one in this cave. It keeps on coming here and scaring Issei, calling his name and saying things to him. He's absolutely terrified of it. I've managed to send it away twice already, but it keeps coming back."

Rias had trouble thinking of anything that was capable of scaring the colossus in front of her. Then again, by that measure, she would have had trouble believing that someone as small as Asia was capable of calming him down just by talking and rubbing his scales unless she saw it with her own eyes too.

"I'm going to come closer. Keep him calm." Moving slower this time, the Devil made her way towards the king of the cave, keeping a close eye on his reaction to her approach.

It took a deceptively short amount of time to close the distance despite her slow speed. She didn't know if it was due to a trick of the light, her mind, or the bizarre world she was in, but she was almost touching him next to Asia before she knew it.

The close proximity didn't help ebb away the fear she felt from being so close to such a giant. She had to give Asia credit where it was due, the girl seemed practically fearless despite being sheltered for nearly all of her life.

She could hear his slow breathing like a heavy wind. Glints of crimson flickered occasionally past the dust and grime that accumulated over his scales. Her body reverberated with the slow yet steady heart that pumped gallons of blood per second. But more than that…

"He's warm."

"Mmm." Asia nodded as she stroked his tail. The air around Issei's body was, for lack of a better term, pleasantly toasty. Not too hot. Not too oppressive. The atmosphere around him was almost welcoming to the girls as they got close to him, as if he instinctively was trying to draw them closer.

Taking in a breath and going for broke, Rias reached forward and pressed her hand against his scaled hide, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"He's soft."

Indeed, despite how thick his scales appeared, her hand seemed to almost sink into the royal hide like it was high quality leather. The temperature of his flesh was on the hot side, but not uncomfortable. Rather, it was becoming increasingly difficult the resist the urge to press her body against it and enjoy the sensation in earnest.

"So long as he's calm." Asia smiled sheepishly. "I was actually resting on his tail when the ghost came the first time. When his scales arc up, it's like they turn into an armor made of knives." She was fortunate she was so close to the ground. It would have been difficult to get off of him without getting hurt if she was closer to his center of mass.

"Yeah. That sounds like him all right." Rias laughed with some exasperation. A total softie that couldn't help wreathing himself in barbs and unpleasant devises to keep others away.

She looked up to where the ebony crown and horns of the dragon's head was peeking up above the muscles of his tail. She couldn't see what he looked like in this state but if he moved his tail just a bit more…

Rias shook her head dejectedly. No, there was no point in trying to sate her curiosity at the moment. He's not well. There's no point in trying to look or judge him in his current state.

"He's not taking care of himself." Asia stated the obvious, a sad smile donned her face. "Even in the dark I can tell he's not healthy like this. There's something he's not telling us, and he's hurting."

"I know. But that's why Michael and my brother told us to make up for that."

"But… can I do that?" Her question caught Rias by surprise. "I'm weak and can't protect myself. I got captured and Asami and Raynare got hurt and…"

"That's not your fault." Rias cut her off. "It was unfortunate, but not your fault. Absolutely no one would ever come to that conclusion. As ridiculous as Issei can be at times, even he wouldn't think of something like that."

"Mmm." Asia smiled faintly, slowly allowing herself to get absorbed in caressing the red scales in front of her. "… He spoke to me earlier. In Italian."

"Really?"

"He doesn't like being exposed, but I think, he'll only put in a real effort to do anything if it's for someone else. Otherwise, he'll just, come back here."

Rias looked around at the cave she was in. A lonely, secluded hole where he could hide. Slowly buried and forgotten in the ruins of dirt and time.

She didn't like it.

"He's given up." The Devil came to the only conclusion that made sense.

"Yes." Asia nodded. "Even without knowing what he was saying, I could tell by the look in his eyes. Anything that reminds him of what he used to aim for, of what he lost, will only anger him. I've… I've seen it before at the Church. Issei doesn't want to hurt anymore. I don't know what he went through, but I wouldn't be surprised if he saw people that approached him as threats out of sheer instinct."

"Except you." Rias corrected her.

"No. I'm also a threat." Asia smiled sadly, rubbing the scales affectionately. "Just one of a different sort."

Before she could say anything else though, the temperature of the cave dropped noticeably, and a chill traveled down her spine.

"Issei…"

Asia paled. "Oh no. It's back."

Rias turned around to see that the opening to the chamber was completely shrouded in a white fog, exposing only the blood red eyes glowing from its venire.

Behind her, she felt the cave itself tremble in tandem with Issei's body as his body once more tensed up and was donned itself in sharp scales.

"Issei. Don't worry. I'm here now. Just a bit longer, and we can be together again. Just the two of us… and no one else."

Despite its soft and almost hypnotic crooning, Rias couldn't help but share Issei's discomfort of the specter. She couldn't see it clearly, but even then she was absolutely certain that she had never encountered a pair of eyes so obsessed before. It was as if the red orbs were saturated in a maddening lust so intense that the Devil could not help but feel violated to her core from the exposure, even when she wasn't the focus of its attention.

Worst of all though, was that in the back of her mind, Rias was certain that she knew that madness saturated voice from somewhere.

On instinct, Rias fired off her power of destruction at the apparition, only for it to simply plow through the cloud, disrupting it slightly but doing nothing else. She might as well have been throwing rocks at a lake.

"This is what you've fended off twice?" She couldn't help but be astounded and impressed by Asia's feat.

This is what's been perpetually haunting Issei's subconscious?

"It doesn't like the light of my sacred gear." Asia grimaced. "I know a little bit of magic from the church using Twilight Healing as a medium. So I made a barrier and it just, runs as if the light was poison."

"Can you do it again?"

"I, can, but I'm not sure how well it will work. I was reaching my limits when you arrived."

"Issei… what are you doing? Having guests around without telling me? After everything I did for you… I thought you would have learned after I dealt with the whore and the beast… you don't think that they will stay this time, do you? Not when they learn what a monster you really are, and what you did to me, hehehe…"

"Leave him alone!" Asia yelled as the white mist started to enter the room. "You're scaring him!"

"Silly Issei. Another nun? Don't you remember what happened to the last one that you tried to get close to? She disappeared, didn't she? Never to be seen ag… ah? Aha! Ah! My mistake. You DID see her. And so recently. But neither recognized one another. It was your fault I did what I had to, and yet you don't even have the dignity to remember another one of your victims. How cruel of you. I thought you were better than that."

The cave began to shake even more, trembling in tandem with the dragon's efforts to curl into as small a ball as possible. Pained whimpers as loud as a foghorn reverberated through the enclosure.

"Something's wrong! The ghost wasn't this bad before!" Asia looked around, clearly scared by this new development. Instinctively she knew she wouldn't be able to hold off this latest assault.

"I figured." As much as Rias was curious to hear more about Issei's past, she knew that risking the situation to devolve anymore would do more harm than good. If she found out much more than she currently did tonight, there was a good chance that some undefined line of no return would be crossed.

Thankfully, despite this being Issei's mind, she still had access to her own powers. Very quickly, the red and black power of destruction radiated around her, sparking off like lightning as she charged up for a bigger attack than before. The only way she figured she'd be able to get rid of this thing was if she wiped it all out in a single go.

The intruder paused, and for the first time actually paying attention to the girls. It didn't seem happy.

"That power… it couldn't be… unless, that hair. No, Sirzechs, you actually whored out your own sister to replace me you shameless hypocrite?!"

"I have no idea what nonsense you're talking about or how you know about me, but you're not wanted here!" Rias lifted her hands and condensed her powers like she had been practicing for the past week. She didn't know why she went with this approach when she was still practicing it, but for some reason she felt as though that it was her best option here.

The mist began to writhe and move aggressively. Clearly it had a grudge against Rias' family. "Stupid girl! Do you not know who he is?! What he is?! That majestic power is too much for a child like you! Issei belongs to only me! You are a toy led blindly, complacent in being used just like all the others! Fools that are afraid of realizing his potential for what it truly is!"

"And you are a hypocrite! If you can't see you're hurting him and destroying whatever potential you claim he has in the first place, then you have no right to even come near him!" Rias charged up her attack. Unlike her normal spells fueled by the Power of Destruction, the focused version still took her a few moments to prepare.

The white mist charged forward at Rias. "I will not be shunted aside and forgotten like trash again! Not by Issei, and especially not by your accursed lineage!"

"Bitch to someone that cares!" With a heave, Rias unleashed the black and crimson orb at the oncoming mist, discharging the contents into an unstoppable beam of destruction that impaled the intruder effortlessly, wiping out any and all traces of the white mist in an instant.

"Wh-whaaaa?" Asia blinked in genuine astonishment. It made sense, seeing as the girl had never seen a battle in the underworld before, let alone expected that Rias was someone that was actually pretty far up in terms of raw power.

"I think that did it…" Before the dust cleared, the Devil flinched and looked at her hands. Mind world or not, she hadn't completely mastered this advanced form of her power yet, and the recoil had left some minor burns on her skin.

"Amazing. I didn't think you were that strong." The nun gushed, either ignorant of unaware of the damage that had been done.

"You've only just come to Kuoh, Asia. Give it some time and I'm sure you'll feel right at home with us." She peered at the hole at the front of the cave and grimaced. The pile of debris that had halfway covered the way she had come in was significantly smaller than before, and some of the walls were clearly scorched. "Though, I think I might have overdone it a bit. You don't think Issei will notice, will you? This is his mind after all…"

As if unconsciously responding to her question, the dragon behind them snorted, grumbled loud enough to shake the room and dislodge from dust from the ceiling, shift slightly as if to stretch its muscles a bit, and then went back to sleep.

The fact that its scales were gradually relaxing into their flaccid flat state was probably more than enough proof that, no, he didn't care that Rias had just more or less Kamehameha'd inside his mind without permission.

The two girls glanced at one another for several long seconds before giggling in amusement.

"Guess not." Rias smiled.

"That's just like him." Asia nodded.

The two walked back to the beast, no longer afraid or intimidated by it.

"You do realize that we probably didn't get rid of that spirit for good, right?" Rias was the first to resume petting the beast as if it was an oversized pet.

"I know. I was trained for treating physical injuries. Mental ones… I wish the Church had let me do more." The nun sighed. "Then again, I don't think normal training would have prepared us for whatever that thing was."

"Mmm. At least, we know where to start now." Looking up, Rias spied the pitch black crown of horns around the top of Issei's head, the only part of his face she could see in this state. "Even like this I can't help but wonder. About how much he's really capable of. How much he keeps holding himself back. Why he's doing this to himself."

"He's scared of himself." Asia came to the same conclusion that Rias did. "I can't tell what terrifies him more. What he can do to others, or what he thinks other people will do to him if he opens himself up."

The small girl's mind drifted back to when she was captured and hoisted onto that cursed device in the mockery of the cross. Of when Issei had appeared in the basement of the abandoned church as if an embodiment of God's wrath itself.

And of the word that her kidnappers had whispered just before she had been rescued and knocked unconscious.

"Sekiryuutei."

Asia may have been incredibly sheltered, but even she had heard the news and stories about the latest Crimson Dragon Emperor, who was not as dead as everyone assumed.

She didn't say anything about it though. It was clear there was more to Issei's story than what the public knew. More than just the fact that the person in question was still alive in the first place.

"Asia?"

"Ah! Y-yes?"

"Is something wrong?"

"N-no. It's, I'm…" She shook her head. "It's, been a long night. I'm somewhat envious that Issei is able to rest like this… not counting the creepy spirit lady of course."

"Hmhm." Rias smiled. "Well what's not to envy? A big scary dragon in the company of two beautiful women protecting him. Of course he'd be sleeping easier. In fact…"

The Devil turned and walked around the Dragon's body until she reached near the end of his tail, where it was small enough that it was only waist height.

Without a moment's hesitation, she climbed on the appendage and found a crook where she could lay down comfortably. "Oooh. This is comfortable. Come on Asia. You were right. He's nice and soft and warm. I could fall asleep like this in no time."

"Eh?"

As the two girls went about discussing the ethicacy and wisdom of using a massive dragon as a mattress, neither of them noticed the beast's eyes open just a crack for a few seconds before closing once more.

Nor did they notice that the dust and debris laden floor of the chamber they were in was engraved with a titanic seal that resembled an eyeball with the slit stitched shut.