Chapter 18

"At this rate, I think most of the teachers are just going to leave him alone for the rest of the year so long as he does his homework on time. It's quieter while he's asleep, and his mere presence is enough to keep the pervert duo silent in fear of waking him up." Or anyone else for that matter.

"Zzzzzzzzzzz."

"See what I mean?" Raynare was the only person in the room that wasn't surprised by the fact that Issei had seemingly passed out over the past few seconds with documents in hand.

Rias shook her head. On the one hand, Issei was asleep, which meant that he was relatively quiet and docile now. On the other, he was asleep in her office, and she still had work to do.

"He must be quite tired. Normally he needs some of that tea of yours or a bit more time to fall asleep so quickly." The redhead observed before pausing as a thought came across her mind. "Then again, we all worked pretty hard this weekend. I remember falling asleep pretty late Saturday and Sunday…"

"Only because we realized that it was best if we moved back to our apartments to do so." Akeno pouted. "If we tried to rest in the school or the clubhouse, Issei would assault us with that phone again…"

"I heard he actually used a flashbang grenade against a couple of Sitri's peerage when they zoned out for a bit." Raynare snickered. She wasn't sure if that was true or not, but she sure as hell heard something explode Sunday morning in the school.

It spoke volumes that barely anyone bothered to be surprised that Issei actually had military grade flashbang grenades on him in the first place.

"Yes well, that leads me to my next question. Did anyone actually see Issei sleep this weekend?" Rias asked tentatively.

The room was awkwardly quiet as everyone pondered the answer to that question. True, Issei was a narcoleptic that could seemingly sleep anywhere if he wanted, but at the same time, he also seemed to pass as the sort of obsessive person that could and would go far and beyond the norm to get something done if he felt the need to.

"No, but given the circumstances, couldn't he just have slept in the field?" Akeno reasoned. "We wouldn't have been able to see it with the illusion up, and he did more or less tell us not to bother him."

"As much as I'd like to believe he is genuinely that stupid, I'm going to nix that possibility." Raynare shook her head. "That one time you guys sent me in to see what he was doing… it hurts me to say anything positive about the asshole, but he was training harder than most of you lot combined, and it didn't look like he was in the mindset to stop or take breaks."

She held back a shiver. She had known about the Boosted Gear and heard about how monstrous and destructive the previous users were, but she never expected Issei to use it in a completely different way like that.

She wasn't an expert by any means, but she could make a rough guess from prior experiences. Unless someone knew exactly how he fought and prepared exclusively for it ahead of time, she really couldn't think of many ways for anyone that wasn't at least ultimate class to deal with him.

Especially if it was a one on one fight.

Maybe a group of all high class beings would have a chance, but even then they'd have to have the right moves available and experience, or they'd be wiped out easily.

She had always assumed that when Issei had his episode he had simply been overwhelming the Maou and the other leaders with the strength of the Crimson Dragon, but now she knew that her guess was completely off.

On a side note, she was still trying to get the image of his sweaty abs out of her head. It made masturbating really hard to do when he was the person she was accidentally fantasizing about.

Rias felt a headache coming. "Asami did say that he was prone to overworking himself at times. Though, it makes sense if she purposefully undersold it. All things considered, I think it would be wise to assume she understated more or less all of Issei's habits and traits."

Akeno shook her head. "I don't know whether to be flattered or frustrated by this. On the one hand, he's just given us more work to do. On the other, it does give one odd feelings to know he put in so much effort these past few days because of us in the first place."

"Who put in so much effort?" Without knocking, Kiba, Gasper, and Koneko walked into the room, only to pause as they saw Raynare and Issei.

"Crap. He's here today too." Kokeno didn't hold her thoughts back and slowly started edging away from the source of everyone's misery and positioning herself behind Gasper.

"You have the right idea, but there's no point in trying to be quiet. When the idiot's out, he's out." Raynare shook her head before throwing a paper ball at Issei's skull and bouncing off of him to no effect.

"Don't tell me you suggesting that we leave him here." Kiba looked at her with a grimace.

"Do you want to try waking him up?" Raynare asked skeptically. "He's been in and out of consciousness all day. He'll be more insufferable than ever if you force him awake now."

"I could move the couch with him on it to another room." Koneko suggested, getting everyone to pause momentarily at the idea.

"Well?" Akeno turned to Raynare.

"What? What am I, the idiot's keeper?"

"Yes." Every devil in the room answered at once.

She would remember this. She would remember this for a very long time. "… Fine. Yes. That will work. So long as you aren't trying to actually do harm to or directly touch him, moving him indirectly like that won't make him freak out. He'll stay dead to the world for the next few hours. Happy?"

"Much." Koneko didn't hesitate to use her Rook enhanced strength to lift the couch Issei was sleeping on, slightly tilting it back so he'd lay down on it and not accidentally fall off.

"Whoa. He's really still asleep." Gasper blinked in astonishment as Issei naturally leaned to the side and laid down on his improvised bed.

"Zzzzz. Don't touch my stufffzzzzzzz."

Koneko looked at the doorway warily. "I'm going to need some help moving him without bumping into anything."

"I'll help." Kiba immediately began to clear the way for his comrade. "The sooner Issei's out of our hair, the sooner we can get to work."

"Put him in one of the third guest room." Rias called out behind them. "It's the furthest one that's actually maintained."

"And the reason why we don't put him in one of the further ones is?" Akeno asked.

"Do you want to give him another reason to complain to us as soon as he wakes up?" If Issei was allergic to dust, they were never going to hear the end of it.

"Fair enough."

"I'm more impressed that your grunts didn't notice the porn." Raynare nodded her head to the computer screen, where the offending piece was on screen.

"Something tells me their attention was drawn to the dragon in the room more than the dung it left behind." Akeno summarized the situation aptly before something caught her eye. "Ara?"

"Thankfully, we aren't expecting any guests today, so we can move the couch back after Issei leaves." Rias shook her head, looking over all the paperwork that the accused had left behind. Curiously, she picked up a binder and opened it to read the contents.

Inside was the profile of one of the women Issei had no doubt watched having sex earlier. Age. Race. Preferences. Personal History. Family History. References. Even her criminal records were included in the bio. And of course, sample pictures of the woman in her full glory.

"This is quite detailed considering it's for the porn industry." She flipped a few pages and scanned the contents. This part was most likely what Issei had filled out if the pen work was any indication. Neat checkmarks and notes were made in all the according spots, with sharp penmanship that did not match the owner's abrasive and immature personality in the slightest.

She looked back at the pile of binders sitting on the table in front of her. In terms of sheer quantity, it dwarfed what even she normally did in the span of a few weeks. "He really fills out all of these things himself?"

"Looks like it." Raynare looked over Rias' shoulder curiously to see the contents, was mildly impressed by what she saw, and then lost interest. "Shame. He'd probably be decent at secretary work if he didn't suck at people so much."

Rias didn't bother gracing the fallen with a reply.

"And if he wasn't liable of making errors while exhausting himself." Akeno added, reading a paper that she had picked up off the floor.

"Meaning?" Raynare probed.

"Isn't that the form he was filling out before he fell asleep? The one for that woman taking drugs?" Rias identified the paper quickly.

"Mmm. Most of it has medical terms that I'm not familiar with, but it looks like Issei's more prone to letting his mind wander when exhausted then he lets on." Akeno turned the paper around and showed it to the other girls. "Look at the notes section."

"The notes?" Rias and Raynare leaned forward and read what Akeno was referring to.

"…"

"…"

"… Well that's not ominous or foreboding."

o. o. o.

"Uaaaaaaaaaa."

"There there." Asami gently patted a teary Italian nun on the back, consoling the poor nun as she threatened to break out crying again. The girl had been depressed all day since Issei screamed in terror from her attempt to wake him up and literally jumped out the window.

The mother would have felt more guilty for being responsible for the mess in the first place, but seeing Issei scream and jump out the window like that, AND having this adorable girl hang on her every word for support scratched several deep and dark itches that she would never admit.

In the back of her mind, Asami was starting to realize that she might be developing a tiiiiiiiiny little unhealthy personality trait, but it was quickly smothered with a pillow that was made from the image of Asia looking up at her with adorable, delectable watery eyes.

Such a soft and wet pillow it was.

"He was afraid of me." Asia whimpered, feeling completely helpless.

"I know. I'm pretty sure the entire block heard it." Asami assured the girl, only to realize that might not have been the best thing to say if the increased waterworks was any indication. "B-but don't let that get to you. Issei's not angry at you. He's, well, he's afraid of everyone right now. You already know that. Having you wake him up was a good idea, just… maybe we rushed things a bit. He's not used to you yet. The fact that you can touch him without getting a reaction alone is enough to make him confused. He hasn't been used to being around people for a long time. It's not your fault."

"I know, it's… it just reminds me of bad things." Asia's head dropped and she avoided eye contact, as if to dwell on memories that she had forgotten on purpose.

Well, that was a left turn she wasn't expecting. "Bad things? What do you mean?"

The Nun shifted uncomfortably. "I, I used to work in the Church's hospital. I was gifted in healing people. I try to ignore it, but, I know that not everything, not everyone in the Church is nice and peaceful. People fight and get hurt in God's name a lot more than most think. I was one of the ones they called in for the worst cases and important people."

Asia looked at her shaking hands, and on the rings that she wore. For a moment, she could still see the blood on them.

"You poor child. You can't save everyone, Asia." Asami gently rubbed the girl's shoulders, coming to the most likely conclusion.

"I know I can't save everyone. I, learned that when I was eight." She once again threw Asami off her game with a sniff. "But, I don't know why people are so afraid of me."

"Afraid?" Issei might have been an outlier with his twisted logic, but there was no reason why most people in their right minds would be afraid of this harmless little angel.

"It's happened so many times." Asia wasn't even talking to Asami now, lost in her memories, her body shaking more and more. "So many, coming in hurt. And, they'd beg me not to help. They said they wanted to die. They'd start talking about what they did. Why they deserved it. Why they didn't want to do it anymore. Some, they were being hurt on purpose, and they'd be hurt more once I was done helping them…"

Any satisfaction Asami was getting from taking care of Asia was gone now as she was struck silent, only capable of listening as the girl speaking.

"I don't, I don't want to hurt anyone. But the Priests and Bishops said it was God's wish for me to be a holy maiden. For me to help sinners and saints. That I shouldn't worry about who it was I mended, or what they desired, as it wasn't my place. But… they begged so many times for me to stop. To go away. That I was only making things worse. And then. And then I came across that hurt devil, and I helped him too like I was taught, and, and…"

The mother swooped in and embraced Asia in a tight hug, giving the small girl the final push she needed to finally unload her emotions and start crying her heart out.

She didn't say anything after the first outburst, and instead held the child even tighter, getting a louder response and a pair of arms that held onto her for dear life a second later.

Asami wasn't surprised by the response. She had plenty of practice with Issei during his few rare open moments over the years. She knew what these poor kids wanted and needed.

Asia bawled like a newborn for almost half an hour before she finally began to calm down and sag in the woman's arms. The entire time, Asami didn't say a word, merely providing her with physical contact and a sense of security.

"Hey. Hey. Look at me." She gently shook the girl, who was no doubt exhausted physically and emotionally from her ordeal. "It's not your fault."

"But…"

"It's not your fault." Asami repeated. "It's not your fault. It was never your fault. It's not Issei's fault either. Ok? What happened today was my fault. I got greedy and rushed things. I shouldn't have pushed you on Issei like that. He's prone to overreacting, but I highly doubt that he meant to hurt you. You can already tell, can't you? Issei hates hurting people."

He was apt at insulting people perpetually to the point of making them blind with rage at times, but her son was always someone that from the bottom of his heart just wanted to help people and make them happy in the end.

It was a shame that his heart was so broken and mangled now.

"Mmm. He's really kind. But, scared." Asia hit the nail on the head.

"Yeah. That more or less summarizes him. Kind, but scared… and perverted."

"Pervert?"

"But scared." Asami backtracked. Now was not the time to have that particular discussion with an overwhelmingly impressionable teenage nun.

Maybe later.

Thankfully, Asia had been too shocked by Issei's reaction of her to notice pretty much everything else that was in his room at the time.

"I just don't want him to be afraid of me anymore."

Good GOD this girl was adorable. Asami wanted to smack her son silly for even thinking that this child was anything but pristine fluff. "We'll take it slow. My son is an idiot at times, but he's not completely oblivious." She held Asia at arm's length so they could make eye contact. "How about a little girl time to get your mind off of things? I saw that you only brought robes and habits in your suitcase. Not a single pair of pants or modern clothes. How about we do a little shopping this week? Give you a new look."

"Clothes shopping?" Asia sniffed, a bit unsure about the prospect.

"You'll feel like a completely new person. Later, I'll take you to the salon I go to for a full spa treatment. You deserve to be pampered for once, and while Issei's actually not a bad hand at spoiling a girl when he's motivated, I think that you deserve a gentle first time. One that doesn't have a habit of snarking every thirty seconds."

Then again, the two teens still couldn't understand one another with the language thing still going. It might be for the best if Asami did let (force) him to pamper Asia sooner rather than later before he had a chance to ruin the experience for her.

Say what you wanted about her son, but Issei could give one hell of a manipedi if needed.

"B-but I can't do that. I don't have any money, and you've already done so much for me, and-"

"Honey, money isn't a problem here. Not for something as simple as clothes. You deserve that much, and more." Asami smiled and grabbed her wallet. It was about time she spoiled herself with the fortune that Issei gave her access to. The boy was a financial stickler at times, but there was no way he'd complain about splurging on something like this. "Come on. By the end of the day, you'll feel like a whole new person."

"Eh? But! I-I-" Asia's protests fell on deaf ears as the older woman grabbed her by the hand and dragged her outside of the house without giving the poor girl a chance to argue her case in a way that was eerily similar to a certain impulsive porn obsessed teen.

Neither one of them noticed the individual watching them walk down the street from the rooftops of a nearby building.

o. o. o.

Issei woke up.

It took him fifteen seconds to calm down enough to realize that he had woken up in the first place.

"Ngh." He picked himself up from the bed, no, couch, that he had been passed out on and take note that he wasn't in his room at the moment. "Where am… I?"

His gaze paused at the shivering Gasper, who had a very unnerved expression on his face and a familiar tennis ball by the side of his feet.

"S-sempai? A-are you ok?" The young vampire stammered, clearly scared of something.

"Dio? What are you, wait, right, Weeb's place." He shook his head to try and get rid of the cobwebs in his mind. "I'm fine, but what's with you?" The poor runt looked like he was about to piss his skirt.

"M-me? You mean y-you don't…" Gasper trailed off, not knowing the right way to ask why Issei had just for a few seconds been absolutely radiating a frantic and overwhelming killing intent just before he had woken up. It had come out of nowhere and caught him vampire completely by surprise. It had literally almost suffocated the poor boy had it not been for its short duration.

"Don't what? Words and sentences Dio." He really needed to get the kid some confidence. Some people thought that stammering was cute, but it got real old real fast when you needed shit to be done.

Gasper clearly was thinking about what he should say and what would the results would be before making a decision. "Y-you uh, you talk in your sleep. It got r-really bad."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the main reason why Gasper was nearly shitting bricks either.

"I… fuck. I forgot about that." Issei missed the clear coverup and sat up straight. He did know he talked in his sleep, and knowing just how bad his nightmares could be made it easy for him to come to an undesirable conclusion. "What time is it?"

"It's, um, almost eight thirty." Gasper looked at his watch. "Rias-sempai needed to use her office, so we had Koneko-chan take you here by moving the couch so we, you know, didn't wake you up."

He appreciated the kid's attempt at skirting around his hatred of being touched, but he didn't like being pitied. He was a mess, but he wasn't an invalid.

His tired gaze turned down to the dropped tennis ball on the ground. "You were practicing."

"Eh? Oh! Y-yeah. I was." Gasper was clearly glad for the change in subject.

"Any progress?"

"I can almost turn my eyes on and off when I want now. At least, when I'm practicing with the ball. B-but it's still much better than what I was doing before." As if to prove his point, Gasper grabbed the green ball, tossed it up into the air, and then momentarily froze it in place just a little bit after it started to fall again.

"Mmm." Issei absently nodded. "Don't settle for just that. Add more factors to increase your control and familiarity while using it. Try moving while keeping the ball in place. Circle around it. Train your peripheral vision so you don't bump into anything while focusing on the ball."

"I-I'll tr-uagh!" Gasper attempted to follow Issei's instructions, but ended up tripping over the carpet in the room, and splayed himself out in a way that would be quite enticing to the male population, had anyone assumed that he was not a male.

A second later, the ball he had frozen in time bounced off of the poor boy's head.

"Keep trying. Who knows, you might get it by the time puberty hits you."

"Uuugh. You're mean." Gasper wept helplessly.

"And you're a trap."

"Aaaaaah." Judging from his response, Issei was fairly certain that Gasper knew that he wasn't stretching the truth for once.

Finally. Someone that wasn't completely oblivious or ignorant of their personal quirks that wasn't a total asshole.

In another part of the building, Raynare sneezed.

The doors to the room opened, letting Kiba and Koneko inside. "Is everything all right? I heard something fall."

"Dio." Issei pointed at Gasper lazily.

"Y-yeah. It was me." The culprit sighed dejectedly, not even bothering to try and correct him this time.

Kiba looked like he wanted to say something, but upon seeing the rather tame situation in the room, he thought better of it.

"I thought you lot normally did contracts after school." Issei asked, somewhat surprised to see all of Rias' lower ranks here still.

"We don't normally go out until after sundown, or ten. Whichever comes first." Kiba shrugged. "It's only urgent requests that get taken any earlier, and if that happens they fall under the immediate jurisdiction of Rias-sama or Akeno-san due to the danger probability."

"Makes sense." The guest nodded absently while slowly stretching to get all the kinks out of his body. Comfortable or not, he still had just spent four hours on a couch.

"How long are you going to freeload here?" Koneko asked bluntly.

That was a good question. He knew he needed to go back home eventually, but he had already come to Weeb's place and it always rubbed him the wrong way if he didn't get something done if he went somewhere.

That being said…

Without warning he had a cell phone in his hand, lifting it up into the air…

He didn't even get to press the button before it was cut in half, curtsey of Kiba with a fresh sword in hand.

To the side, Koneko looked like she was halfway in the process of pouncing onto the infernal device.

Gasper had been more defensive, hands already firmly over his ears.

They were finally developing a sense of perpetual awareness.

"Better." He didn't care about the loss of his phone. The one that had just been scrapped had been a burner.

"Why are you here?" Koneko repeated with more frustration this time.

He shrugged and told her the truth. "Wanted to watch porn."

"… What."

"Ask the Weeb." Issei yawned, ignoring the looks of complete disbelief. The latest nap had helped calm his nerves a bit. He was still tired. He was always tired, but he was a bit better now.

"Couldn't you have just done that somewhere else? Like in your home?" Koneko stated the obvious.

His eyes narrowed. "It's not safe there anymore. The Ninja Puppy can enter my room without warning."

Kiba dismissed his sword with a sigh and shook his head. "You know what, I will ask Buchou what's going on after all. I'm terrified of what will happen if we keep on asking you for a straight answer."

"Someone's learning."

"We should have just tossed him off the roof while he was asleep like I suggested earlier." Koneko grumbled.

"Wouldn't have been the first time jailbait."

"I wonder why."

"Surprisingly, it was because the guys that trained me were bigger assholes than what I'm doing for you… other than Flathead-sensei. He was chill."

Fuck you Ghost. Fuck you and that pile of wrenches you used for training.

Once again, the room was awkwardly silent.

"… I never did get my pants back from that bastard."

"I'm just going to go now." Kiba slowly stepped outside the room.

"Take me with you." Koneko nearly raced him.

Issei didn't bother to stop the Knight and Rook bolt, leaving him and a very confused Gasper alone again.

The pair looked at one another warily for a very uncomfortable ten seconds before Issei held up the cross dresser's tennis ball to him.

"Again."

o. o. o.

"I'm sorry, my hearing must have failed me." Sona gave Rias a dry glare. "Did you just say that you made another contract with that raving idiot?"

"Technically, since Issei's existence is supposed to be kept under wraps, there haven't been any official contracts made. Even with you." The accused deflected the accusation unconvincingly.

"This is what, the third time with him?" Sona ignored her friend, nursing a growing headache. "First with Gasper. Then with everyone's training. Now it's, what again?"

"Addressing pretty much my entire peerage's list of issues." Rias couldn't defend herself from Sona's disappointment. It was well deserved after all. "He came over last night with the express intent to point out that my Peerage was, in his words, as stable and long lasting as a fictional sitcom family." Or enriched uranium. All it would take is the right trigger and it would all blow up everything in the vicinity.

"And you actually believe him?"

"You've seen what he's like when he's serious. It's hard to argue when he's throwing facts and everyone's shortcomings in your face without a second thought. In case you haven't noticed, he's somewhat familiar with the concept of trauma victims." She shook her head. Kiba's poor reaction regarding anything holy sword related, and Akeno's reaction to being near other Fallen were top of his list, and she couldn't rightfully argue against it. As a high profile noble, she was bound to deal with both on short notice at some point, and if those issues weren't dealt with by then it could lead to political nightmare.

"So you thought that your best course of action was to make Issei of all people be their improvised psychologist?" Sona looked straight into Rias' eyes. "Simply being in proximity of that boy for extended periods of time is enough to cause mental trauma, and you expect him to cure it?"

"What would you expect me to do? Hire a professional?" The accused shook her head. "In case you have forgotten, I've tried that. Several times. For everyone in my Peerage. At best, all that did was help them develop shells so they could handle walking out in public and dealing with people for small periods of time. Sona, have you noticed at all that unlike your pieces, mine have next to no social live or hobbies outside of their duties? At best, Akeno tends to the city shrine, by herself, Koneko explores sweet shops, by herself, and Gasper has his games, in his room. Kiba doesn't even do anything in his spare time but train his swordsmanship."

Well when she put it like that, even Sona had to admit that Issei may have a point. "But Issei of all people? I can't tell who you're punishing more, your peerage, him, or yourself."

That makes two of them. "I admit, it was an impulsive move on my part, but I had to take some of the momentum away from him. He was leading the entire conversation and you know how I get when I'm constantly being talked down to."

"I'm starting to think that you can't be trusted to be alone in a room with him for any period of time. For everyone's safety." Sona dryly stated. "Again, how in any world did you ever think that letting him deal with your peerage's issues was a smart idea?"

Rias sighed and shook her head. "Do you know what Kiba's training is? Apparently Sword Birth is highly similar to the powers of some fictional character with blacksmith themed abilities. He's making Kiba play the entire game."

"So? What's so special about that?" Sona was clearly missing something important.

"One of the main characters in the game is King Arthur." Rias dropped the bomb. "And Issei managed to convince Kiba to play it in five minutes. Not peacefully, mind you, but Kiba's still going through with it."

"What?" Ok. Now Sona was impressed. She had seen what Kiba had been like when Rias had first rescued him, so she knew just how bad the knight could be when it came to that particular topic.

"I was just as surprised as you are. Issei's a mess, but he's exceptional at figuring out how other people tick and working that to his advantage. You saw how effective he was at coming up with training methods for everyone. Even us. Once he learns enough, he barely needed time to think about what to do or say next. No, I doubt he even bothers to second guess his assumptions before moving on them."

She couldn't argue against that. Issei was illogical and irrational as could be when left to his own devices, but once he was given a focus he was remarkably on point and rarely stopped to skirt around sensitive subjects.

For people that were inundated in the political world and its countless maneuverings, he was both the easiest and hardest sort of person to deal with.

"So what did he get in return?" Sona broke the awkward silence first. "I highly doubt he would be willing to go along with such an idea when offered."

Rias laughed nervously and thought back to his initial reaction to her suggestion. "That's putting it mildly."

"No! No! No! That is a terrible idea and you should be ashamed of yourself for being even capable of having it in the first place! Stop talking to me and lament on your current situation from a safe distance!"

It would probably be for the best that she didn't bring up the fact that Issei genuinely looked like he was about to jump out the closest window before she could explain her case. Thankfully, he was the sort of honest fool that could be restrained with cold hard logic so long as he couldn't argue against it, even if he really wanted to.

"I actually ran through pretty much everything I could give as payment for his services without luck. He even turned down an unconditional favor."

"You what?" Sona looked at her best friend as is she had just grown another head.

"I know. I know. But he turned it down regardless without a second thought. He was completely uninterested in it." Rias waved away her reaction while secretly hiding how endeared she was. There weren't many people that could turn down one of those, especially from her family. "In the end, I lucked out while grasping at straws. I didn't even think it would work, but well, it's Issei, so conventional expectations don't really apply with him. So now, at least twice a week, someone from my Peerage has to help him with his Porn related escapades."

"… Come again?" It was getting worse. Issei's madness was infecting Rias now.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why did you offer to help that idiot with Porn?"

"I-It's not like that." Rias finally realized what her friend was getting at. "It's more secretarial work. You should have seen how many binders and documents he was going through. Profiles, medical backgrounds, legalities, deals. He does almost as much work as we do managing Kuoh in its entirety. Combined. By himself."

Sona's glasses flashed dangerously. "You're serious."

"I was surprised when I came to that conclusion too, but after going through the documentation, I really can't think otherwise." Rias shifted uncomfortably. "We all knew that his obsession with Porn was his coping mechanism, but it looks like we underestimated the extremes he's taken it to."

From what she read and saw, it was almost as if Issei was genuinely capable of running and managing an entire filming set if he wanted to, so long as it was a porno of course.

It was impressive, unhealthy, and genuinely worrying.

"I can't see how your Peerage would go along with that deal. Either part of it." Akeno might be interested in working with his Porn related exploits, but she sure as hell wouldn't take too well to being made to talk about her issues with Issei of all people.

"We agreed to postpone actually enacting either part of the agreement for a while. At least until everyone gets more used to him being around." That, and for Kiba to finish that game of his and had his promised fight with Issei.

No. More than that. In order for Kiba to be even remotely willing or receptive to do anything Issei wanted after the fight, there could only be one outcome to the match. Issei would have to shut Kiba down. Hard, and in a way that blatantly underscored the difference in power and ability between them.

Rias wasn't sure if she was looking to seeing it or not. Best not to let Kiba know about that.

"Well, at least you two are exercising some modicum of patience." Sona shifted her glasses with a sigh. "Until then, what is Issei to do? I assume he's going back to holing himself in his room at every conceivable moment again."

"Apparently he's going to multitask and do his paperwork." She shrugged. "In his words, the sooner the most pathetic member of my peerage is capable of taking care of himself, the sooner he won't have to babysit my peerage every waking moment and he can get back to watching porn without worrying that the town will fall apart around him."

It took Sona a few moments to repeat the statement in her head before she let out a bitter laugh. "You were right. He's terrible at hiding his real intentions. Who'd ever suspect that that immature fool was such a bleeding heart?"

"I know, right?" Rias let out her own giggle. "It would be endearing if he wasn't so crass about everything."

"And it will be interesting to see what goes on behind the scenes of making Porn and what his collection's like."

"Exactly!" Rias laughed before realizing what she had just agreed to, and noticed the accusing stare of her best friend.

"… I knew it."

"Sona! It's not like that!"

"I'm sure Akeno would be just as believable."

"I-I'm serious." The Gremory Heiress devolved into an embarrassed little girl that was poking her fingers together, ashamed about being caught. "Everyone keeps on going on about how pretty and amazing we are, even back home, but Issei's different. When he says it, it's like stating a fact like my hair is red or water is wet. There's no feeling in it. But then he goes on about his Porn and some of the actresses and, I'm kinda curious. What do they have that I don't?"

She had been blown off by others before, but most of the time it was by pompous men and women with egos that could dwarf their net worth. Issei acknowledged her beauty and appeal without hesitation, and then with as much ease dismissed it as "not enough". She wanted to know what and who exactly she was measured up against.

"You're jealous because he's rating porn stars higher than you." Sona summarized blandly.

"Well when you put it like that..." She couldn't deny it to an extent.

"Did it ever occur to you that it might just be because of the sex and nudity?"

"Yes, but, this is Issei we are talking about. Do you really think it would be that simple with him?"

"Against every desire in me to say otherwise, no." Sona relented. Issei was the sort of person that could turn a straight line into a roller coaster just by looking at the thing.

"He tends to do that a lot."

"Don't remind me." Sona shook her head, leaning back in her chair and sighing deeply. "Why are you really here Rias? You know how irritated I would get if you just came over to complain and brag about Issei."

Rias held back a bitter smile, knowing that she couldn't hide something so obvious from her friend. Reaching back into her bag, she pulled out a piece of paper. "Issei was writing on the original of this before he passed out from exhaustion. I made a copy as we were moving his things out of my office."

Lifting an eyebrow skeptically, Sona took the form and scanned it. She was impressed. Despite being made for the sex industry, this medical diagnostic form was up to the standards that she saw in the hospitals in her territory. She wasn't a doctor by any means, but she knew enough to understand what she was reading.

"Is this about the drug that you mentioned earlier? The one that mutated that stray you hunted last week?"

"Somewhat. Look at the notes section." Rias instructed with an unreadable tone.

Sona obliged, and quickly saw what her friend was getting at.

The drug is being dispersed with increased frequency over the past few weeks.

The timing lines up with me being more active.

This isn't a coincidence. I'm being called out.

There's a leak. She knows I'm alive.

"You're right. This is concerning." The Sitri's glasses flashed ominously. Some might think she was doing that on purpose, but anyone with experience knew that the "glasses flash" was a byproduct of the user's powers fluctuating, the disturbance being refracted off of the users' lens.

"I don't think he would have written that down if he wasn't as exhausted as he was." Rias stated evenly. "I didn't think much of it before, but he did act suspiciously when he realized that Vizard was using the drug. If he suspected something since then, it makes sense why he's pushing us to be stronger."

"But that begs the question as to why would he be connected with the substance to begin with?" Sona asked the next logical question. "As prolific as he supposedly is in the medical fields, I don't see him being much of a pharmacist or chemist. If he ever obtained a job in medicine, he'd be one that proscribes drugs, not makes them. At least until he'd get fired for poor behavior."

"Mmm. That was my impression as well." Rias agreed, solidifying Sona's statement. "Do you know anything about the drug in question?"

"Not much more than you. It's only been rumors until recently. A green substance that dulls the mind, makes everything about sex better, numbs pain, gives non-humans a boost in energy, mutates the body, some say that it even makes getting pregnant easier."

"Next thing you'll tell me is that it can cure cancer." Rias rolled her eyes. "I can vouch for the other effects though. Viser was an easy target until she overdosed and mutated into that abomination."

"And it's supposedly ramping up in production, if Issei is to be believed." Sona tapped an irritated finger on her desk as she thought hard on the situation. "At the very least, we need to talk to your brother and my sister about this. This isn't a problem that is limited to us."

"And the one responsible for it is supposedly interested in Issei one way or another. Meaning there is likely going to be an increase in drug users in general. And eventually, here." Rias concluded.

"He couldn't just tell us up front about this." Sona shook her head.

"I think, I think he suspected that we wouldn't believe him. Or that we might blame him." Rias grimaced. "He clearly has trust issues, and what we have now is still only circumstantial evidence. It's not unreasonable to assume that much. Though, even if he's wrong, we're still getting stronger in the end with little drawback."

"Other than the damage to our sanity and integrity."

"Please. You say that every time you see your sister."

"My point still stands."

"Whatever you say." Rias gave up the argument. Sona had a rather severe love hate relationship with more chaotic individuals that she couldn't control.

"Getting back on point. Where is Issei? If he's become such a handful tonight, I'd have suspected that you'd be keeping an eye on him to make sure he didn't do anything rash."

"He's in a spare room right now. Watching porn." She really didn't want to add that second part, but at this point she might as well get it out of the way. "So long as he's occupied, he shouldn't cause too much trouble. No one in my peerage other than Gasper is likely to seek him out on their own accord."

o. o. o.

Akeno stood in front of Issei, glaring at him. They were the only ones in the room.

Issei stared back, unimpressed and unamused. He'd rather be watching the video he had put on pause.

The air between them was tense. Ominous. And eerily silent.

Very slowly, Issei reached behind his back, and pulled out an order catalogue, lifting it up to face level. The front cover was littered with sex toys, lotions, and other items for sensual use.

On the front of the magazine read: "Mad Doctor's Office. If nobody's screaming, then everyone's not having fun".

Akeno snagged from his hand with a face that was quickly matching the same color as her King's hair.

"So, did you enjoy-"

"Shut up and touch my finger already!"

o. o. o.

"Somehow, I wouldn't bet on that." Sona doubted it. Logic tended to go out the window the moment Issei was around. "What about Koneko? After what she learned Saturday, if what he said about Kuroka was true…"

"It's true. Or at least, what he said was true according to him. He's not the type that that would lie about something like that." Rias shook her head. "Koneko's still in a state of shock about the matter. She doesn't know what to do yet, or if she wants to do anything at all. Not that I blame her. Instead, she's putting it all off and practically drowning herself in those Ki manipulation books Issei lent her."

"She'll have to address this sometime. It's not healthy to try and ignore it. Not after a bomb like that." Sona sighed, leaning back in her seat.

"I know. But at the same time, I think the training will be good for her. Let her get comfortable with her nature and powers again. Come to terms with herself. The books are useful, but I noticed she's really interested in the notes he wrote in them. She's never been much of an active studier, but I honestly haven't seen her without one of the books since she started."

"Really? That is surprising." Then again, it might not. Her own peerage had taken to Issei's training goals far better than she would have assumed. Each set of instructions he gave them fit their strengths and histories extremely well, while still being easy to comprehend and extremely practical. He was still an asshole, but at least he was an asshole that gave them easy instructions to follow that made sense.

"So what are you doing with him for now?" Sona got back on track. "Are you seriously just going to let him watch porn in your clubhouse every night because he's afraid of a harmless nun?"

"No actually. He's going to shadow Gasper while he starts doing contracts around town."

"… You really need to stop dropping these things on me from nowhere Rias."

"How do you think I felt when he suggested it?" The accused deadpanned. "It'll only be a couple days a week, but he'll more or less just babysit Gasper while he visits clients."

"Ignoring the obvious madness that will take place because of that, and the incredibly high chance that he will scare away any long term prospective clients that your bishop might make, how?" Sona stressed. "We can't teleport people directly to our clients that aren't part of our peerages."

"Um… apparently we can. It's just that we were never taught because we didn't have the authority to yet." Rias shifted nervously, remembering Issei ream her a new one when he pointed out that there had been countless contracts granted over the centuries where the other party wanted, oh say, to go to some place as fast as possible in an emergency, or go to some exotic location on vacation. You know, obvious relocation based requests.

"And let me guess, he conveniently does know these methods." The Sitri deadpanned.

"He took one look at my teleportation glyph and started lecturing me about how basic it was." She dropped her head in exhaustion and depression.

"I don't know whether to be disappointed that we didn't know of it earlier, annoyed that Issei knew about it before us, or infuriated at the prospect that I will have to owe him something for when he teaches me how to do it." Sona couldn't simply ask Rias to fork over the designs when Issei was done with hers. Glyph modification was an extremely finicky craft. Even if the purposes were exactly the same, there were dozens of minute tweaks that needed to be made depending on the origin of the core of seals and the nature of their powers.

"It's Issei. You're perfectly in the right to be all three." Rias reasoned.

"I'll take it into consideration."

"In hindsight, it's peculiar that he can interact with Devil magic and formulae so casually. Even if he's a battle medic like you claim, he's still human."

"One mystery at a time Sona. We have enough on our hands as it is. Odds are we'll probably find that one out by accident eventually." When it came to Issei, they were quickly learning that the more absurd the answer was, the more likely it was true.

"Mmmm." Sona nodded before blinking as if remembering something. "Speaking of humans and devils, where's that unfortunate crow that's supposed to the local babysitter?"

Rias' mind stalled as she tried to think of a suitable answer.

o. o. o.

"Fuuuuck." Raynare moaned with one hand down her skirt and another clawing at her breast in one of the abandoned rooms of the clubhouse. In front of her was Issei's laptop playing some of the more hardcore porn she had found stored on it, this time involving a stacked devil with blue hair tied up and being teased relentlessly by a slim fallen in a leather ensemble that looked elaborate and expensive enough to cover the mortgage of a family home for a couple of months.

Closer. Not much further now. With carefully timed thrusts and tweaks, she was bringing herself to a climax in time with the Fallen on the screen as she was being eaten out.

"That's it. Eat me you useless abandoned whore. Use that tongue. Faster…" She muttered, losing herself to her own fantasy. After weeks of dealing with Issei, it had almost been routine for her to crank one or three out whenever she had enough time to unwind.

Thump thump thump…

A little more.

Thump thump thump thump thump…

Right there. That's it. Just one more thrust and-

BANG!

The door of the room slammed open behind her, revealing a tweaked but not the same way as she was Issei.

Raynare reacted just like anyone would had their door been kicked open while openly masturbating and made a wonderful imitation of a deer staring down the headlights of a car.

"…"

"…"

"DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!"

And like that, her arousal was abruptly killed. Much like what was soon going to happen to a certain Porn obsessed annoyance.

o. o. o.

"… Trying to enjoy some time off while she can." Rias stated diplomatically.

"I don't want to know any more than that, do I?"

"No." She really couldn't tell if she could in good conscience take a side on that particular fiasco. She didn't want to either.

"Well whatever it is, she probably deserves it. Fallen or not, I wouldn't wish her job on my worst enemies."

"Be that as it may, we still have to play our roles." Rias stood up. "It's best if our Peerages don't look too much into this for now. We don't want to distract them anymore than they already are."

"I'll just tell mine that the sooner they get stronger the sooner they won't have to deal with him anymore. That should be motivation enough." Sona nodded, turning her attention back to her papers. "I'll let you know what I find about the drugs."

"And I'll update you on any possible developments." They came to a consensus. Both knew that there was a storm brewing in the distance, but neither knew enough to properly deal with it just yet.

What they both could agree on though, was that their sibblings were assholes for not giving them more information on what the hell was going on.

o. o. o.

Issei yawned as he walked through the front door at two in the morning. He had taken his time travelling from school this time. It wasn't often that the Cougar left him alone for this long outside the house, and he wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet for once.

He enjoyed it almost a little too much to be honest. He almost fell asleep a few times during the trip.

"Issei? Are you home?" Surprisingly, Asami called from the kitchen, which immediately raised some red flags in his mind. His mother occasionally did do some late nights, but rarely did they ever take place in the kitchen unless she was cooking something at the last second.

"Yeah." He tentatively answered. "Why are you still up?"

"I was waiting for you honey." She replied, sticking her head out into view, her expression was all he needed to see to know that the conversation wasn't going to end soon.

"What happened?" His heartbeat began to accelerate slightly, his mind overclocking to try and figure out what was amiss. Very briefly, he expanded his senses to try and see if there was anyone else in the house other than them, the Cougar, or the Ninja Puppy.

Asami immediately saw he was putting himself in fight or flight mode and stepped in, holding her arms out wide and giving him a few seconds to read her body language before she hugged him gently. "No no. It's not that kind of problem Issei. Don't worry. Calm down please. It's all right. Everything is all right."

Despite how fast he had put himself on guard, it took almost a full few minutes for him to slow down his breathing to an even tempo again.

"Are you good?" The worried mother asked, stroking the top of his head as if he was a small child and not standing nearly a head taller than her.

"I… yeah. Yeah, I'm good." It was a lie and they both knew it, but he had recovered enough to have a lucid conversation without immediately losing control now. "What happened?"

"Asia, I, no, we made a mistake with her." Asami tried to figure out the right words to use.

"The Ninja Puppy? What about her?" He was caught off guard, not sure what his mother was talking about.

They walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table where Asami's half drunk tea was sitting. "That girl… you know more about the underworld than I do. You're more than familiar with how bad it can get. I try to stay away from it whenever possible, for us, but I'm not ignorant of some of the things that goes on. Secret wars. Assassination. Cults."

Issei nodded, knowing she was getting to the point.

"That girl said that she was a talented healer. I'm assuming that means she's like you?"

"She makes me look like a novice. And that's with the half assed resources that the Church has." He told her the truth. "I'm honestly jealous of her potential."

He ignored the annoyed throbbing in his left arm indicating that Ddraig took offence to that statement.

Asami blinked in surprise before getting back on track. "Really? Then, no, that's not the point. If she's that good then what she went through makes more sense then."

"Meaning?" Issei frowned in confusion.

"When she was in the Church, they apparently made her treat everyone they had. The innocents, the guilty, and their victims."

It took a moment for him to realize what she was talking about before his complexion paled. "Shit. You mean…"

"Captives that were being tortured for information, or punishment, or for whatever absurd reason that they'd come up with. At least that's what I could gather." Asami shook her head. "Enough times that some apparently even knew of her and were terrified whenever she came around. Worse was that the poor child was clearly coerced to do it. She had until recently convinced herself that the act of healing people regardless of the situation was God's will and the right thing to do just to protect her sanity from collapsing. That is until she did whatever she did to get kicked out."

The quiet kitchen was immensely uncomfortable for the both of them until Asami broke the silence once again.

"At first, I thought she was handling everything quite well for a girl that had gone through what she had, put into a situation that she was clearly unprepared for. But… we overestimated her. I got ahead of myself this morning when I urged her to wake you up, knowing just how you'd react. But, then, you reacted. And, well, she saw someone screaming in fear of her again."

And she relapsed. The protective shell around Asia Argento's psyche had broken down as the one sight that had plagued her mind and fueled her doubts assaulted her at her weakest.

Issei's hands clenched into fists, and his body began to tremble. "I… this is…"

"Our fault." Asami interrupted before he could finish the sentence, knowing exactly where her son was going to go with that train of thought. "We're both to blame for this honest mistake, and the both of us will work to fix it. Ok? You complain enough to know that I'm able to fuck up too every now and then."

The boy that looked back at her wasn't the guarded teen that snapped at everyone, or the surly young man that shunned the world around him. It was the lost and confused young boy that was desperately hanging onto every word that his mother spoke. It was the real face of her son that frantically hid from everyone and everything around him.

Asami smiled gently. She missed moments like this. Moments where she didn't have to try and second guess or dissect everything that Issei did. Moments where he was genuinely honest with her. Moments where they could just be a simple loving mother and son again.

"The poor girl is a pure blank slate right now, but one littered with cracks. She's as lost as you are, and is completely dependent on us to figure out not just what to do with her life, but who she is in the first place." She went on. "She has no idea what to do with herself, and she's so sheltered that she can't even make sense of the world around her. So we have to help her. Teach her. Make her feel like she isn't the monster or mistake that she believes she is. That means you have to tone down your reactions to her, ok?"

Issei nodded, albeit uncertainly. "I, she can…"

"She's like Jasmine. And that scares you. I know." She read her son like an open book. "The idea of getting close to anyone after what you've been through is still terrifying, isn't it? After what happened to you, and them, anyone would understand. But you can't keep hiding forever Issei. That's why we made you go back to school again."

He avoided eye contact with his mother. He knew she was right. He was a genius, but she was always the one that was right when it mattered.

Smiling, Asami stood up, walked around the table, and gently hugged her little boy. "You're not a bad person Issei. You were never a bad person, no matter what anyone says. No matter what you think of yourself. It hurts to see what they've made you do to yourself. You're one of the kindest people on the planet, and you've been hurt so badly you can't even see or accept it anymore."

It was warm.

Being held by another person like this. He missed it, loved it, hungered for it like a starving man (dragon) to the point that most sentient beings would genuinely go insane from it, but… that desire and willingness to expose himself scared him with as much madness inducing intensity.

The perpetual vicious conflict between his shunt away desires (instincts) and the fear that smothered everything, every day, every conversation, every waking moment, was nothing short of soul scarring.

"… I'm tired." He repeated the two words that held more meaning than most would ever comprehend or imagine. His mind slowly began to shut down again as he let his body collapse into his mother's care.

"I know Issei." She stroked his hair gently as he began to fall asleep again.

Outside the room, Raynare leaned against a wall with her arms crossed and eyes closed. She stayed there in silence for another ten minutes before coming to the conclusion that there wasn't going to be any further developments for the night, and quietly returned to her room.

o. o. o.

Seven years ago, Issei's mindscape:

"DODGE!"

"AAAH!"

"DODGE!"

"FUCK!"

"DODGE!"

"I GOT IT AL-" Thunk. "OWWWW!"

"YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION AND MISSED THE UNDERLYING DODGE! FROM THE BEGINNING!"

Issei felt like crying as he nursed the wound he got from the wrench that Ghost had chucked at him. After all these years of absurd training and humiliation, he felt like he was no closer to getting closer to the insane bastard than he was when he had first started.

This latest training practice in particular was pretty bad, even if it was stupidly simple. All it consisted of was Ghost chucking one of the hundreds of wrenches that he had foolishly taken into his Sacred Gear at him for hours on end…

While they were both stark naked.

Ghost's logic for that last part more or less boiled down to: If you can dodge a wrench while you and or your opponent are naked and not give a shit about it, you can dodge lethal attacks while you and or your opponent are naked and not give a shit about it.

Issei had several misgivings about that logic. Ghost on the other hand, true to form, didn't give a shit, or Issei a choice for that matter.

Everything went. Shoes. Socks. Pants. Underwear. They were both completely naked to the blank world.

The only exception to the rule was Ghost's sunglasses. The man was quite adamant about keeping those things on.

That being said, the boy was a bit shocked when he first saw the immortal undressed. It wasn't the guy's junk that had him distracted, but the number of wounds on his body.

Ghost's right pectoral was practically non-existent, replaced with a hole that looked like someone had taken a massive drill directly to his chest. The flesh in and around the hole was a perpetual angry red, as if it was still inflamed or healing. If it weren't for the fact that the guy was an immortal with countless tricks up his sleeve, Issei would have been kept up for weeks trying to figure out how the hell was capable of moving his right arm at all, let alone moving it without being driving insane from the pain it would cause.

Aside from the obvious, the man also had two thick lacerations that went down either side of his spine for the top half of his back. Those were healed up nicely, but still scarred to the point that they made spine stick out more than it really should.

Those were the only consistent wounds that Ghost had. But not the only ones.

True to his claim to being an abomination that didn't follow the rules of convention, the immortal had countless other wounds that spawned all over his body, and then faded away from existence after some time just as easily, like a mirage. Issei saw nearly every type of physical injury a human could sustain possible at one point or another on the immortal, and countless more he had never heard or read of.

Thunk.

"GOD DAMN IT!"

"STOP COMPLAINING TO THE DEAD!"

Of course, no matter what injury the man was sporting at the time, none of this really prevented the asshole from being able to fastball pieces of metal at a ten year old's skull with the sadistic glee of a psychopath.

Issei would have purged his Sacred Gear storage of all of the damn things, but somehow Ghost managed to hack the system in his body and claim all of the wrenches for himself.

Not the porn. Not the food. Not the video games. Just the wrenches.

Something vital inside the poor boy that supported his faith in the universe died the moment that discovery truly set in.

Slowly, day by day, Issei was growing more desensitized to the bizarre and nonsensical in their extremes. The horrifying and the silly were gaining the same worth in his eyes, impacting him with less and less weight when there was a priority to be completed.

He could think more clearly under unusual circumstances. Prioritize and take into account facts without social standards and meaningless afterthoughts interrupting him from making the right calls.

In a world like this, were desires, sins, and virtues were all freely exploited without hesitation, such conditioning was mandatory in order to excel and thrive.

"FINISHING MOVE! NAKED OILED MAN BEAR HUGS SMALL ALSO NAKED CHILD! ALL THE HOMO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Slowly. Day by day.

Thunk.

"YOU FORGOT TO DODGE!"

Slowly.