Chapter 13

Seven Years ago:

"That guy was creepy."

"I suggest you take a shower. For all of us. Then burn the water. Then let me burn the dredges." Ghost agreed, shivering enough to make the boy's arm twitch. "I might be an insanely overpowered entity, but there are still people even I avoid like the plague if I can help it on principle."

"So even you have standards."

"Bitch, I'll make you a standard."

Azazel smirked as Issei shivered next to him as they walked out of the conference room. "Yeah, you tend to come in contact with people like that in our world kid."

"But he's a part of the Church! I thought that the ones involved in important research and holy artifacts were supposed to be, you know, pure! Either by overexposure to said holy artifacts or as a requirement to deal with them!" The boy stuck to his argument with haunted eyes.

"Not if the guy is one of those freaks that manages used holy water. Trust me, there is nothing holy about that stuff."

"I need an adult."

"I am an adult."

"Not according to half the people that actually know you."

"Technically, that's still better odds than when asked that about me." Ghost sighed, pretending to lament his public reputation.

"I wonder why." Ddraig clearly wasn't wondering.

"Oi. At least I don't give the impression that I have a hobby of hiding children in my basement like Father Excali-boner back there."

"That's not a particularly difficult milestone to reach."

"I don't see you being thankful for it."

Azazel didn't know what to be more offended by more right now. The fact that his maturity was being compared to Ghost's, or that he had been ignored so quickly.

It had been six months since the fiasco with Baraquiel's family, and Issei was finally being cooperative enough to listen to everyone again, despite no longer remembering what had happened.

During this time, the kid had blazed through the rest of his grade school textbooks, medical texts, magic texts, and most college entrance exam practice books.

Long story short, Issei was already more prepared for college than vast majority of the guys that were already in college. He turned nine last month.

So Azazel, being the generous person he was that clearly wasn't looking for an excuse to get away from the office, had taken Issei on a bit of a road trip to find and visit some of the more, exotic, locations of education that were willing to host an over intelligent, over powered, over horny preteen with two voices in his head that accepted sponsorship from multiple factions.

Surprisingly, it was easier than it sounded. Most high level academic institutions were places of politics, but they only really cared about the outside world if either absurd amounts of money was involved, or there was an army at its doorsteps. So long as you had the gold and had something to contribute, it didn't really matter to them if you had wings, fangs, or were as squishy as any other red coat.

Oddly, it didn't take much to persuade Asami and Ichirou to let him take Issei out to explore the campuses. Both of the parents seemed to trust him for some reason after dealing with Baraquiel, and felt that their son needed some time to grow outside by himself. Not that the Governor minded, just the opposite. It made things easier for him. He just felt that the ease of it all was a bit odd.

The colleges in the underworld were out. They never took in humans as students, only as guest speakers. Thankfully, there were a surprisingly large number of mystic schools on the surface that catered to everyone. Most happened to be located either in the Middle East, or in America for a slew of reasons.

The purely magic schools didn't appeal to Issei, which narrowed down the search even further by excluding some of the bigger places like the campuses run by the major magic organizations. The kid wanted a well-rounded education so that he could live and adapt to both the mystic and human world.

This time around, Azazel and Issei found themselves in a mystic researcher's conference in the hidden part of Yale University. One of the largest of its kind if the rumors were any indication. An annual event where students and alumni would announce and present milestones and new branches of magic, theory, and discoveries of the world in the hopes to get more sponsors down the line.

Issei had been so engrossed in the event that he didn't even ask some of the very attractive women, human and not, around him if they wanted to be in his future harem when he did manage to talk to them.

It was probably for the best. The kid's approach needed some work. Even cults that catered to the absurdly insane and desperate had a better approach and success rate than Issei's tentative harem. It almost hurt to watch. Almost.

"Hah. Fine. Fine. Let's just get ready to go. You said it yourself, the next panel you wanted to see was starting soon after this one, right?" Azazel shook his head in defeat, knowing a lost argument when he saw one. Looking back at the conference room, he couldn't help but agree with Issei that the Priest at the lecture was a bit on the sketchy side, and somewhat disappointing.

The man's research was crude, to put it lightly. Issei had attended the lecture in the hopes of finding a better way to improve his alignment or compatibility with White Magic, but was left disappointed for the most part. Most of the lecture was based on extraction and transferring minute specified genetic and spiritual samples between donators and recipients in the hope that the procedure would unlock or accelerate the development of the specified attribute in the latter. True, the priest was more interested in doing so with Holy Magic specifically, but still…

To get that excited just from a theoretical question from Issei about accumulating and gestating the extracted samples from multiple donors in a concentrated culture as a theoretical different approach to the problem was just wrong.

It was one thing to see a monster or devil to make that kind of face when having an eureka moment, it was another when a priest did. It didn't help that the freak spent the rest of the session returning his attention back to Issei every few seconds.

And he was supposed to be in line to be a Bishop? Michael really must be desperate these days.

"Yeah. Let's hurry. The sooner we get away from that creepy priest, the better." Issei nodded frantically taking out the guide pamphlet and map for the campus.

"Hope this next one's more interesting." Azazel yawned. "Which one is it again?"

Issei looked up at him. "Sage and Ki Arts theory and application, and their varying effects on different species. Rumor has it that the presenter is a Nekoshou that was reincarnated into a Devil."

The leader of the Grigori's eyes flashed in mild interest. "Hooh? Sage Arts? You're right. That does sound interesting."

"And she's really pretty with big oppai!"

"Of course she is."

"Just make sure to find out if she's a trap granny that uses the mystic arts to make herself look young." Ghost warned. "Trust me kid. Those ladies play in a completely different league than what you can handle right now. And I'm not just talking about smashed pelvises."

"No doubt you speak from experience."

"All the experience! And some lawsuits! Never trust lolis! They always lie about their age! If they say they're eighteen, they're barely thirteen! If they say they're thirteen, they're pushing three millennia bare minimum! I have a chart!"

"Doesn't Auntie O fall into that category though?"

"The only games that one plays are her own. Best leave that one be, for all our sakes."

"Ok… So do you think this Senjutsu lady want to be a part of the Harem?"

Azazel chuckled, amazed by the kid's one track mind. Reaching down, he ruffled the excited boy's messy hair. "One way to find out."

o. o. o.

(?)

…

"… id…"

It was fuzzy.

"… -n't work ei-…"

It was hot and fuzzy.

"…-ssei! Wa-…"

His head was stuffed with cotton.

He didn't like it.

"… -ve. You're com-… already?"

His body didn't want to move. His nerves felt numb. His eyes hurt, making it hard to see even though there was little light. He tried to move, but he couldn't. No. Something wasn't letting him, holding his arms and legs loosely in place. Something else was on top of him too. It was heavy.

"Nnng." He groaned, realizing that it was hard to breathe.

It took a bit to realize that that heavy something was on him was a person.

"KID!" An annoying voice that wasn't annoying for once shouted in his head, only making it hurt more. The pain waking him up faster.

"That idiot. I told him to make sure you drank it all. He knows how fast your body burns through impurities." A voice outside his skull sighed in minor frustration. It was familiar, and close. Really close. Right in front of him.

He opened his eyes to see White in a room of darkness. Of Black and Red.

Why?

A hand cupped his face. It was gentle and soft, but for some reason it only made him more terrified.

"Shhh. Shh. Don't worry Issei. I'm here. You're always be safe with me around." White crooned into his ears gently. His eyes cleared slightly.

Oppai. He saw oppai within arm's reach of him. Not too big, but by no means small. They were beautiful. Shaped perfectly and hanging freely right in front of his face. A flawless pink nipple positioned in just the right way so that he could take in every detail without fail.

He should be happy for such a sight. He should be focused on what was before him. But for some reason, the only thing his instincts were telling him to do was run. Escape. Danger.

His breathing began to intensify. His heart began to pound in his ears.

White didn't seem to notice, continuing to caress him like a lover, or a cherished pet. "I'll always be here. You know you can trust me. More than the pompous idiot. More than the crows and pigeons and fools that dress like kings. More than my meathead half-brother. More than those sluts that pretend to care…"

Red. He felt and saw red below on his chest as her other hand pressed against his chest. It hurt. No. No. He knew what it was…

Her hand yanked back suddenly, holding two small objects in it, blurred by his dazed eyes. "Even two rooks won't work. The highest point combination I had was still not enough. No, of course they wouldn't. Not for you, Issei. You're too good for just Rooks. But I already tried everything else. My Pawns. My Bishops. My Knights. My Queen. It's my fault. I'm too weak for someone like you. To be your King. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being so inconsiderate."

She sounded sad. Genuinely and honestly sad, as if she was lamenting her inferiority and inability to a lifelong love. Him, who was restrained and mentally addled and scared underneath her. It was a twisted regret that only made him more alarmed.

"Issei! Wake up! You need to get out of there!" Ddraig roared in his mind, clearly alarmed and angry if his tone was anything to go by.

"Get your ass moving! Albino's gone full Yandere! The useless bird was in her pocket! The Fucker drugged all of us at the party! The Gears are locked down! We can barely function like this! Get going! Now!" Ghost was yelling too, and he sounded a lot like Ddraig.

Ghost and Ddraig, rarely got along, and even more rarely ever sounded worried.

Issei's mind cleared up faster.

"You're so magnificent, even other Dragons are trinkets to you… but the idea of leaving you by yourself, or worse, belonging to someone else that doesn't understand and respect the power you have…" A sliver of silver reached his eyes, moving up to the ceiling.

"… It's unfortunate but I guess this really is how it turns out ultimately. It is easier to reincarnate the dead than the living. If all else fails, there are many spells that can preserve your body and soul until I'm strong enough for you."

"Don't worry Issei. I'll be there when you wake up."

"Forever."

o. o. o.

Issei woke up.

The mouse in his hand for his computer had been crushed in his grip. It was the third one this month.

For over half a minute, he didn't move, allowing the haunting thumping of his heart to deafen his ears and blind his eyes, reassuring him that he was back in the waking world.

"You're up." Ddraig lamely stated, more bored than worried. It was unsurprising. This wasn't the first time that Issei's had the nightmare.

Knowing that there was no point in playing possum anymore, the teen lifted his head up from his computer desk and blinked the morning sun from his eyes, completely ignoring the screensaver half a meter away from his face showing some random bukkake orgy that caught his attention two years ago.

"How long was I out?" His question was reasonable. He normally didn't get nightmares unless he was asleep for more than three hours.

"Five hours. All in all, it's the longest you've gone in a while." The dragon answered simply, not bothering to ask if his host was all right. "You might want to get ready soon. You're supposed to start making the Devils and that Fallen of yours competent today."

"… I'm seriously contemplating going back to sleep."

"Get up you idiot."

"Fine. Fine." With a groan, he picked himself up from his desk and dislodged the remains of the mouse from his hand. Sleeping from a sitting position murdered his back, but he found himself doing that more than on the couch in his room or the rarely used futon in the corner.

Automatically, he went over a mental checklist of things he had to do in general.

Wash. Get dressed. Eat. Go over some basic training methods for the scrubs. Deal with the Cougar. Set the Ninja Puppy up with the computer he set up last night with the Italian to Japanese tutoring program, preferably without falling into whatever insidious traps this time, check his stocks, finish the dozen or so Porn reviews he's backlogged on, make the eight custom order sex toys that are due by next Friday, and… get back in shape.

… Wait. Shit. That means he has to prepare that disgusting stuff before he leaves.

Those guys might hate him after this weekend, but at least they won't have to deal with downing only that crap for its entirety for sustenance. He's practically doing them a service!

Oh. And finish the homework that he's missed out on.

Fun.

"Boost."

In a flash of red light, the Boosted Gear appeared on his left forearm, in all its glory.

Flexing his fingers a bit, as if reminding himself of how it felt, Issei glanced down at the emerald jewel at the front with a calculating gaze.

Might as well prepare a bit before things get started.

*Chack Chack.*

The coiled decorations around the Boosted Gear stretched back and snapped back into place.

o. o. o.

"Where is he?"

"Calm down Sona." Rias chided, albeit just as impatient as her friend. "As grumpy as Issei is, I doubt he's one to skip out on a meeting that he set up in the first place. I think."

Standing in the middle of the Kuoh school field, the two Devil Peerages waited patiently for their supposed teacher to arrive. For the most part, most of them had spent the time catching up with one another and introducing themselves, Gasper from Rias' group and Saji from Sona's.

"So. Is he really as mean as everyone says?" Reya Kusaka, Sona's Bishop asked in a stage whisper. "I heard that Hyoudou's the type that will deck anyone that looks at him funny."

"I wouldn't go that far." Kiba laughed nervously, avoiding eye contact with the others.

"He's an idiot." Koneko deadpanned.

"Yes and no." Akeno smiled, giving no more hints than that. Clearly she enjoyed teasing others.

"Not really." Gasper was the only one that seemed to be on Issei's side. "He just… likes to be left alone. If anything, he's more the type that wants to avoid trouble and attention than anything. It annoys him when people try to make their problems his."

Judging from the reactions from the rest of Rias' group, he was right.

"… He's still a jerk." Koneko held her ground.

Gasper remained uncomfortably quiet, dropping his head in acknowledgement.

"Sona, is something the matter?" Rias looked at her uncomfortable friend suspiciously. "You've been rather disquiet since last night. Does it have to do with what he said about Serafall-sama?"

Sona twitched, all but giving away at least part of her answer. "… Rias, you know things about Sirzechs-sama that the rest of the world doesn't. As his close sister."

"Of course. Nii-sama is family. He is always open with us whenever he can." Rias frowned. "Are you saying that Issei is aware of something similar with your sister?"

The student body president crossed her arms in a way that made it look like she was hugging herself. "Nee-sama, despite her personality… no, because of it, is a surprisingly private person with regard to certain things. Things that she holds close to her chest."

Things that she did not like speaking about. Things that exceptionally few people were aware of.

"And you're worried that he knows of them?" Rias frowned.

"I, don't know. I'm more surprised than anything still. I'm still processing it to be honest. Nee-sama's, surprisingly complicated." Sona looked like she really didn't know if she should be talking about this but was doing so regardless.

"That seems to be the summarizing story of nearly everyone these days." The redhead sighed, dropping the subject. She knew better than to press for information when it came to the Satans, and Sona would hold a grudge if anything sensitive was learned, even by accident.

"… Sorry. I'll try to keep my worries to myself." The Sitri breathed deeply, unconsciously resembling a certain Sekiryuutei, and calming herself down. "You have enough concerns to occupy yourself with."

Rias frowned. "I would have appreciated it if you didn't remind me of that."

Sona opened her mouth to say something before turning in another direction entirely. "They're here."

Indeed, casually walking across the field was Issei, followed in tandem by a half asleep Raynare if her eyes and unkempt hair was any indication. Both were dressed in casual clothing that could double as workout clothes if needed.

"You're late." Rias stated, albeit with a smile.

"This idiot kept on moving in and out of the house through the windows all morning. Trying to avoid the big bad "Ninja Puppy" like she carried the plague." Raynare yawned. "Moron tripped on the edges and fell face first into the bushes twice. Then we took the long way here because "the evil" would expect us to take the direct route."

It didn't help that the first thing he saw when she woke up that morning was him looming over her bed from her window. She literally kicked him out of the house for that.

"I will not be caught off guard again." Issei's eye twitched, glowing with dedication, not bothering to greet anyone. "Who knows what insidious and evil plans the Ninja Puppy is up to as we speak?"

o. o. o.

"A. I. U. E. O. Ka. Ki. Ku. Ke. Ko. Ga. Gi. Gu. Ge. Go… Za?"

"Sa." Asami corrected Asia, the latter trying hard to memorize the Katakana alphabet from the computer that had been left for her.

"Ah. Sorry."

"Don't worry. Japanese is hard to learn for foreigners."

"Moh. I'll work hard. You've been so kind to me. Issei-san even got me this computer. I owe him so much already."

"This girl, is adorable." Asami had to hold back her tongue as the young former nun looked at her with eyes of determination and unintended cuteness. "Ok. New plan. Step one. Get Issei to get used to her. Step two. Daughter in law."

o. o. o.

"Eeevillll." Issei hissed, completely unaware that he was aiming his paranoia at the wrong female currently in his home.

Reya looked at the others accusingly. "… Why didn't any of you warn us he was crazy?"

Akeno shrugged. "We thought that Sona told you by now."

"EVIL!"

"Are you certain the nun merely hugged him last night?" Sona glared Rias.

"EVIL HUG!"

Raynare smacked him upside the head.

"Are you certain you should be surprised by his reaction to being hugged from out of nowhere?"

Sona wisely kept quiet.

While everyone was finishing whispering to one another, Issei began to stretch, completely ignoring Raynare moving to the side of both parties and any looks he was getting.

"I assume we are going to start out with exercising?" Rias assumed, watching him get ready.

Issei, snapped out of his paranoid ranting, shook his head. "Nope. Gonna establish the pecking order."

It was the casual way that he said it that sent an ominous feeling of foreboding down the spines of Rias' peerage. They all knew by now that there was always more to Issei's words than at first glance. Even if he did look ridiculous as he continued with his basic stretching.

And stretching.

And stretching.

"Anytime you're ready." Tomoe Meguri, Sona's knight muttered.

"Oi. Unlike some people, I'm still mostly human. Gimme a break. I'm not designed to go full throttle at a moment's notice."

"Are you sure that we are going to get stronger by training under him?" Tsubasa Yura, Sona's rook asked. She felt like she was watching a comedy rather than someone prepare to fight after their supposed teacher started to do squats.

"Don't look at me." Sona glared at Rias, who had the decency to look embarrassed and was blushing in tandem.

Issei's shameless display continued on for a few more minutes before he seemed to finally have enough and addressed the clearly annoyed Devils, standing tall with his hands behind his back. "Ok! Two or three of you, come up so I can humiliate you guys!"

"Is he for real?" Saji deadpanned, not impressed at all.

"He's a real idiot." Koneko answered, stepping up while cracking her knuckles. She was going to enjoy this.

"I'm more interested in seeing if he's the real deal." Tsubasa walked up to join her fellow rook.

"I'll join you, if only to balance things out." Kiba sighed, materializing a sword in hand.

"Whatever you four do, don't go overboard." Sona ordered. "We are still on school property. Whatever damages are made are on your heads."

The Devils flinched. Issei yawned, looking like he didn't hear her at all.

The two sides stared at one another. One in caution. The other in boredom.

"… Are you guys gonna move or not?"

Provoked by his bored question, the two Rooks and the Knight moved instantly. Kiba surrounding Issei to flank his rear while the two girls charged from the front in a classic pincer. The Devils moved at vastly higher speeds than what any human could ever accomplish, finding themselves nearly on top of their target within seconds, faster than most humans would ever have time to react and prepare adequately…

"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head: go up, thou bald head.

And he turned back and looked o them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them"

It was a beautiful voice. One of care and nurturing. One of love and longevity, despite the ridiculousness of the words that were spoken.

It made their ears bleed. Literally.

"Haaaaaa?!" At the first words of the sermon, all the Devils there collapsed onto the ground, holding their ears and desperately trying to subdue the violent migraine that was plaguing their skulls. Kiba in particular had wound up skidding on the ground via his stomach, unable to control his fall after moving so fast.

All from the recording on his cell phone being played at a modified max volume held above his head like a loudspeaker.

"I-Issei?! What are you doing?!" The voice itself wasn't loud from where she was, but Rias had to yell regardless, if only to be able to hear herself think through the pain.

What she didn't expect was for the young man, surrounded front and back by Devils, to pull out his other arm, and reveal a hand gun that she had not seen before…

… And then point it not at his opponents, but in her and Sona's direction.

It was an exorcist's gun.

The world stopped. Both Kings knew genuine fear, even if they didn't recognize it at first.

Their hearts froze. Their eyes dilated. They had even for a moment forgotten the pain they were in.

But they still couldn't move.

All they could do was stare down the barrel of the gun.

BANG!

The gun fired off, and for the briefest of moments, Rias thought that the skipping of her heart meant that she had been hit.

It was only later that she and the others realized that the projectile had passed right between the two Kings.

"NO!"

Kiba and Koneko lurched forward, trying to get Issei before he could fire off another shot, while Akeno gathered her magic to join the assault. Sona's peerage was for the most part joining in as well, their reaction time a few moments slower than their comrades'. The pain didn't matter. Their agony didn't matter. The rules didn't matter. The boy had just done something unforgiveable.

"And stop." And with that, the sermon ended as Issei lazily pressed the pause button on his cell phone, flipping the gun in his hand around to deftly catch the sword that Kiba swung at his chest. He would have been split in two if he had not moved in time.

"Why should I do that after what you just did?" The swordsman asked coldly, pressing is blade forward to genuinely harm Issei, no longer smiling.

He made a mental note that not only had Issei managed to keep up with his speed, but that the bastard was somehow strong enough to block his strike fairly easily despite being just a human wielding a weapon not designed for close combat. All the while looking as if he was barely paying attention to anything.

"Because everyone is looking the wrong way." It was the obviousness of his tone that gave him, and everyone else pause.

"What are you blabbering about now, dead man?" Tsubasa cracked her knuckles menacingly.

"I believe he's talking about me."

The Devils blinked in confusion at the voice before remembering that it belonged to Raynare.

And then they remembered about Raynare. The Fallen Angel that was not a part of either peerage that had a distain for Devils.

Who was currently flying slightly behind them.

With several dozen holy spears primed and ready to fire straight at Rias and Sona.

"You have no idea how temped I am to take such an easy shot." It was only because he had let her in on the plan that she had even bothered to get up this early willingly.

She was probably going to hate him later regardless, but at the very least, he knew how to sweet talk a girl with what she liked.

When Issei had claimed that he was going to "humiliate them", he wasn't talking about the people he was going to supposedly fight against. He had meant that he was going to humiliate them all.

Rias and Sona realized that this wasn't going to be a conventional training session.

o. o. o.

"Your situational awareness sucks. No. It's borderline non-existent."

Issei was standing in front of the Devils, looking down on all of them as if they were gradeschoolers. Raynare on the other hand, was standing to the side with her arms crossed, enjoying the show.

"I'm not doing this to train you to be stronger. Any idiot that has a decent amount of power and combat experience under their belt could do that. Scratch that, I expected you to be at least somewhat capable in that field in the first place, being related to the Maou and all. But I also expected you to at least show some competency when it came to battle and knowing what to do when caught off guard."

"You gave us the impression that we were going to be stronger from this gathering." Rias feebly tried to defend herself and the others.

"I am. By beating all those half assed self-entitled assumptions out of you scrubs so the odds of you not dying increases. Any tricks you might learn by the end of this will just be a convenient bonus." Issei held back no punches. "When the sermon started playing, all of you should have instantly been on the defensive. It didn't matter if I was only supposed to fight three of you. When you find yourself in a debilitating situation, you either resolve it or get out of there as soon as possible. Otherwise, you're probably gonna die."

"You two." He pointed to Akeno and Tsubaki. "Are Queens. You are supposed to be there to protect your Kings no matter the cost at all times. When you saw that I was a threat to the Weeb and the Enabler, you should have either gotten your charges out of harms' way, or been in my way. That goes the same for the Rooks. You are designated meat shields for your groups. If you see something dangerous coming your way, your first reaction should be to throw yourselves into it so that the others don't have to deal with it directly. If you can't do that, your next thought should be to protect either your King or the closest Peerage member to you. I saw neither meat, nor shields from either of you."

"I'll show you meat…" Koneko's hands twitched in a violent way that betrayed very violent thoughts.

"Pawns! Bishops!" Saji, Gasper, Reya, Momo, and Ruruko Nimura sat up straight. "Your jobs are to scout out any additional enemies and possible spells coming from any direction that the others are not focusing on! You should have been out on guard for the Cougar the instant you knew something was wrong! Feel the Cougar! Expect the Cougar! Fear the Cougar! For she will not let go once her greedy claws are in you until she tears out your very soul or you pay for her food!"

"Oi asshole! I'm right here!"

"Ignore the Cougar!"

"At least someone's getting into this." Saji deadpanned.

Pow!

"Gah!"

"Knights!" Issei ignored Saji grabbing his forehead in pain from a mysterious pebble that had moved at terminal velocity right into his skull. "You are supposed to be the first responders! The fast units! When something goes wrong, you are supposed to be the first to notice any threats in the immediate vicinity and run interference so the rest of your Peerage can regroup and get their shit together! Man-slave half assed his job by focusing only on me instead of assuming that there might be something else nearby or that there may be another trap!"

"Man-slave" did not like being called out for his mistakes.

"I saw none of any of that from any of you! Those procedures are not examples of "well trained" behavior. Those are supposed to be expected, standard reactions, basic maneuvers that are so ingrained into all of you that you shouldn't even have to think about it. I anticipated Dio and the Runt wouldn't have developed them yet, but to see none of you do even that much is just fucking embarrassing. I don't even need my Sacred Gear in order to wipe the floor with you."

"That's easy for you to say." Ruruko scowled. "You have that recording on your cell phone that makes our skulls split apart."

Rias and Sona frowned in agreement, but also some confusion. Members of the Church have been known to recite passages of the holy bible to paralyze Devils before, but recordings rarely have had much significant effect on them. For Issei's phone to put them all down so easily was… abnormal.

"You mean this?" Issei waggled his phone in front of them. "My handy dandy recording of Gabriel reciting some of the dumbest passages from the bible in case I am surrounded by a large numbers of Devils that want to kill me to make things easier because I actually put an effort into being prepared because I'm not an idiot?"

He had pulled a LOT of strings to get that recording, and it had been worth every second spent and every dirty glare he got from some of the Angels in Heaven.

"There is no way in HELL that's Gabriel." Raynare accused, unwilling to believe him.

"Because she's from Heaven. Duh. Who else can recite bible passages so effectively that even a recording of their voice causes Devils to reenact that one scene of Raiders of the Lost Arc?"

Ruruko held her ground. "That still doesn't change anything. You would have easily lost if it weren't for that.

The Sekiryuutei lifted an eyebrow skeptically, as if saying "oh really?", before breathing in deeply.

Just like every other time he had forcibly calmed himself down.

Or at least, at first it did.

It didn't take long for the others to notice that his jaw seemed to twitch under his skin in a way that certainly did not belong to human biology.

Before anyone could ask about it however, Issei exhaled.

Fire.

A lot of it.

Crimson flames, a deep hue that almost matched Rias' hair pooled out in front of the Devils, smothering them in oppressing heat, but never travelling towards them. Instead, the inferno gathered and grew, larger and larger into a titanic fireball over ten meters in diameter that remained in place…

… Until it began to sprout legs. And a tail. And a head.

Before they all knew it, a giant burning dragon made of pure fire bore down on all of them.

"Cough! Cough Cough!"

And Issei was hacking his lungs out behind it, totally ruining the impression he probably had been going for.

Then again, no one expected his mouth to suddenly be slightly larger and his teeth to be fanged.

o. o. o.

When Issei claimed that he was mostly human, he meant it literally.

Apparently, at some point he had replaced his entire respiratory system with that of a Dragon's.

Lungs. Throat. Mouth. Tongue. Jaw. Teeth. Nasal passage. Trachea. The whole lot.

He claimed that at the time, he thought it would be easier to hide the changes to the unknowing public, unlike, say, if he had replaced an arm or his eyes with that with a Dragon's. That and it would help him control his natural fire breath a bit better.

Changing the heart apparently eventually lead to a complete hybridization, and other possible health risks, so that had been out. Plus, the success rate for that particular transformation was dangerously low.

All in all, it didn't grant him any particularly special abilities outside of a heightened sense of smell and increased his ability to breathe absurd amounts of high quality fire that he could manipulate. And hold his breath really long and get more oxygen into his system.

Oh. And he could bite people really really hard if he felt like it.

On the down side, it had ironically made controlling his fire breath harder to control, not easier. Stronger, but much harder.

Right now though, said fire breather was crouched on the ground with a cloudy aura hovering over him, drawing circles on the ground and crying waterfall tears.

"Can't believe I can't even breathe fire without losing control anymore. I only stopped practicing anything intense for five years. I shouldn't have gotten that bad. Auntie O said that it was like riding a bike, but I still screwed up. I really am the worst. Scum. An embarrassment to all dragons everywhere. Everyone was right. I should just die already."

Neither the Devils, nor Raynare really knew how to approach this issue.

Mostly because the fire dragon was standing guard between the two parties.

Issei might have been embarrassed by his faux pas, but his creation was still exceptionally strong. No one was able to get even close to him without being overwhelmed by the heat the monster's body gave off.

"Um. Issei-sempai? Are you ok?" Gasper hesitantly asked, tilting his head to the side to get a better look at his senior.

"I swear. This hasn't happened in years."

"Fufufufu." Akeno giggled. "Oh my. It sounds like Issei has some quite glaring inadequacies, doesn't it?"

"I'm normally better at this."

"Sure you are." Momo clearly didn't believe him.

"It's true."

"Whatever you say." Reya didn't care.

"I could set the entire school on fire at once if I wanted. No. The entire town."

"Stop making up stories. You're not impressing anyone." Koneko's words shot him through his heart.

"I'm just out of practice. That's all."

"And whose fault is that?" Sona asked, accusingly.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one that can see how bad of a joke this is." Saji deadpanned.

"Auntie O is gonna kill me. Nee-san's gonna laugh at me. If Ass-man ever hears of this, he'll never let me live this down." Issei spiraled even deeper into depression. "I can hear him already. Hey tits for brains. I guess you finally fell to the point that you really are full of hot air. I don't need to fight you now. I just need to wait for you to set yourself on fire again. Don't worry, I'm merciful. You won't die. I'll kick you out before you roast yourself all the way."

Momo turned to Sona. "Is he imitating someone else insulting him, or is he doing it to himself at this point?"

"Most likely? Yes."

"Ah. This place has a bunch of nice trees. Nice strong branches that I can tie a rope to that can hold a human body, save everyone the effort…"

"How did he get to suicide that fast?!" Gasper shouted.

"Do it." Koneko prodded, staring at Issei intensely as if commanding him with her mind. "Jump."

"Ara. Koneko-chan. I'm disappointed in you," Akeno chided, though it was hard to take her seriously with the slightly more eager smile that she had on. "You have to wait until he's actually near the edge before saying such things."

"Hyoudou. I'd appreciate it if you didn't contemplate killing yourself on school property." Sona ordered him in a demanding tone, completely serious.

"You do know that…" Raynare looked at Sona skeptically.

"I know what I said."

"Just checking."

"Doesn't anyone else think that this is getting a bit much?" Rias laughed nervously, one of the few people that wasn't feeling particularly vindictive against Issei at the moment.

"No." Several voices denied her immediately from both Peerages.

"He made our ears bleed." Reya stated hostilely.

"Uh." Saji lifted up a finger. "Not that I don't understand why you're pissed at him, but do you guys really think it's a smart idea to say those things where the giant dragon made of literal fire he made can hear us?"

It was at that point that said giant dragon made of literal fire growled. Whether it was making a point or because it was taking offence to their insulting Issei was anyone's guess.

"You make a valid point Saji." Sona's expression remained completely serious. "Good work."

"I'm happy to be praised, but, please don't for stating something like this."

Having enough of the (maybe) jokes, Rias slowly started to walk around the Dragon to get a better look at her temporary teacher. She didn't miss how the monster was keeping track of her movements with a suspicious glare. "Issei? Are you ok? Are you that embarrassed about what happened?"

Judging from the growing cloud of depression hovering over him, the answers to her questions were, in order, no, and a fat yes.

"I-is it that bad? You said it yourself, you haven't breathed fire for years. It shouldn't be surprising that you're a bit rusty. I'm sure it doesn't happen all the time." She tried to salvage the situation as best she could.

"If you stopped using your Power of Destruction for a few years, would you still be rusty?" Issei sulked, returning his attention to drawing on the ground.

She couldn't answer that without making the situation worse. Devils' lifespans last for millennia if things were good. Getting rusty at using one of their strongest abilities simply because they didn't use it for a few years was unheard of.

"I'm not like you guys. I don't have any natural talent in anything except for my fire breath. Anything else I can do is either from my Sacred Gear or something I had to develop with no original talent in."

Magic. Medicine. Even fighting in general. Everything he could do remotely well were things that he had no aptitude for. No, rather, he was a person that lacked aptitude in general. The only reason why he was able to do them to the degree of proficiency that he had was due to a mix of his abnormal obsession giving him extreme focus, and the Boosted Gear to magnify his learning curve and growth rate.

On a scale of one to ten in terms of natural talent, where ten was a once in a century prodigy, and one was essentially a cripple, Issei sported at best a three to four in most subjects, if he was lucky. Ki would only rank slightly better at a five, but that was only due to the large amount he had. In terms of control, he was naturally just as bad in that department as everything else.

It was only due to his cheating studying methods and obsessive focus when he was younger that enabled him to perform White Magic and a select few other spells at the skill level of a level five or six now, but that was the absolute highest he'd ever get. His theoretical knowledge was much higher than that, but his body had limits that no amount of training would surpass.

His fire breath was the only natural talent he had that could be considered above a five.

Even if he hadn't practiced it extensively, his abilities with it should actually be around nine at the very least. If he had practiced and trained this power for years on end, he probably would have been able to match whoever was the current user of Incinerate Anthem in a straight up literal firefight. The Longinus Sacred Gear that was the cross that Christ had been killed on, and widely considered to be the most powerful fire type Sacred Gear out there.

If he had been a full blooded dragon at birth, Issei would no doubt have had his name travel far and wide as a dragon with abnormally hot and destructive fire.

That's how absurdly powerful and important it was to him. It was a key pillar to his already unstable confidence, something that Issei could say that he was actually good at without help or unnatural training methods, outside of replacing his respiratory system with a Dragon's in the first place.

Even if he had never desired to burn anyone or anything in his life, it was something he had taken pride in.

It was a key pillar that had just been littered with cracks on the discovery that he couldn't use it well anymore.

"Damn it. Not again. Issei. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're embarrassing both of us in front of a bunch of weaklings." Ddraig groaned, trying to snap the boy out of another one of his episodes.

"Wow. He's really going deep down the rabbit hole this time." Raynare hummed, more curious than interested in his depressing self-assessment.

"He's been like this before?" Saji asked.

"A couple of times, but not this bad." The fallen nodded her head to the depressed teen. "I was wondering when he'd have a breaking point. He's a hikikomori that's been forced out of his hiding spot. He was bound to snap at some point. Didn't think he'd loose it for something this stupid though."

"Aaah. Now even the useless Cougar's looking down on me. I really am pathetic."

"Hold that thought." Raynare stepped forward, materializing a corrupted spear of light in hand.

That was as far as she got though, as the giant flaming Dragon was suddenly right in front of her, growling deeply at a frequency that made everyone's bones rattle.

"It's independent?" Sona frowned. She could summon water and shape it into animals herself, but even so, her creations could not act separate of her will. Doing so required an absurd amount of talent and knowledge in several fields of magical arts.

Among the younger devils of nobility, she was renowned for her control over her powers. Even so, she was unable to manifest fully autonomous elemental constructs. Yet.

But, Issei could. While supposedly "rusty" no less.

Damn it. He just had to show genuine worth.

"Hyoudou. We did not come to you for practical education. We came for theoretical, one that we can apply in the future. How able you are in your own abilities does not interest me. Do not tell me that you came to us unaware of what you going to teach us in the first place. Even I doubt that you are that sloppy."

"Of course I did. I'd look stupid if I didn't." He sulked.

"You always look stupid." Koneko deadpanned.

"Ara. Could it be that you actually care about how people see you, Issei?" Akeno asked with a sly grin.

Judging from the flinch and growing cloud over him, she was right.

Rias frowned and crossed her arms. He was sensitive about how others saw him? But all he did was push people away. The only other thing he did was… oh.

Oh.

It was starting to make sense now.

All he did was push people away, and make everyone think that he could take care of himself. That he didn't want help. That he didn't need help.

Rather, that there was no reason to help him.

She remembered his ranting from the previous week after the fighting. About how he would just get dragged into things if they didn't get stronger. The training was another way to try and give them another reason to leave him alone. To make them strong enough that they didn't need his help.

He wasn't cruel enough to just make them go away though. Just the opposite. He was too kind to just let them go and possibly get hurt. Ultimately, he was trying to satisfy both what he wanted and what they supposedly needed.

Asami was right. Gasper was right. Issei was at heart a kind person. He just didn't want anyone to know it now. He was terrified of what would happen if he did get close to others again. If people trusted him, they would try to help him. Be close to him. Which was what he didn't want… or at least, he thought he didn't want it.

"… Honestly. You're such a handful." Rias sighed, crossing her arms, finally getting to the crux of the matter. Another piece to the puzzle that was Issei Hyoudou had fallen into place, but there were many more that were missing. "Issei. How much longer are you going to sulk there for? Didn't you say something about training yourself too? The more time you waste, the less ground you're going to catch up while we are here."

"Don't tell me he was going to make more of these things." Saji slowly stepped away from the fire dragon.

"I was gonna practice using my Sacred Gear when everyone was busy. I didn't think I needed to practice using my fire. The Enabler wouldn't let me practice fire magic at the school anyways, so I didn't bother to plan for it." Issei sounded like a child that had just realized he had made a big mistake and everyone was angry at him.

"He's not wrong." Sona shifted her glasses, reflecting the daylight sun off of them. There was no way in hell she was going to let someone practice destructive magic at her school. Hell, she didn't even let Rias or anyone from her Peerage do it. "… You were going to practice using your Sacred Gear here?"

"I wasn't gonna break anything. I was just gonna use the school field and cast a cloaking spell so no one would see what I was doing." He muttered, cheeks puffed out like a child. "I don't wanna train, but I have to. It's gonna suck. My way of fighting's a pain to get right. Especially since I haven't practiced in a while and my body's grown. I gave myself a concussion using it earlier by accident. Aaah. All the things I'm supposed to be good in, I suck at now…"

"Even porn?" Raynare ran her mouth before her mind could even catch up.

It was like a reset button had been pressed.

SNAP!

Issei's head whipped around so viciously that they could hear the bones in his neck crack. His face was scrunched up in rage, cosmetically so since his teeth were actually pointed now and his tongue was slightly longer than normal. It was so bizarre a sight that one could even claim he looked cartoonish.

"BLASPHEMY! SACRILEGE! NON BELIEVIER! HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST I FORGO MY DEDICATION TO PORN!?"

"And he's back." Saji sighed.

"At least we now know a way to snap him out of his depression faster the next time this happens." Momo agreed.

"Why?" Koneko asked, genuinely baffled by the prospect.

"Fufu. I must admit, he is quite amusing when he gets worked up over little things like that. When you aren't the one being yelled at, at least." Akeno giggled.

"Am I the only one here that heard his neck snap?" Gasper asked, slightly concerned. "It was pretty loud. Anyone?"

No one bothered to answer him.

Rias sighed as Issei continued to tirade at Raynare like a man possessed. Oh well. This works too. She supposed that she would just have to inquire and investigate Issei's peculiar personality later. There was no need to rush.

o. o. o.

"So that whole deep breath thing you do wasn't just because you're on the verge of going postal on us all the time?" Saji frowned in confusion.

"Oh no. I'm totally unstable." Issei waved him off with one hand while using the other to heal the minor fractures in his spine that had been made earlier. "I was doing these breathing exercise long before I went nuts. It was to practice controlling my breath. You have no idea how many times I accidentally set stuff on fire when I first altered my respiratory system. It's just convenient that breathing this way doubles as a calming exercise. If I get too heated up, I still might start spewing out tongues unconsciously."

So many unfortunate porn magazines burnt to a crisp in a brief moment of excitement. Don't worry. Your sacrifices were not in vain. Your memories will not be forgotten.

And you bed. And other bed. And work bench. And kitchen table. And college acceptance letter. And tax bills. And text books. And the local playground. And mom's garden. And lunch and…

"That's nice and all." Sona frowned. "But do you really have to keep that thing around?"

"That thing" Sona was referring to was Issei's fire dragon, who was simply sitting on the grounds a short distance away as if nothing was wrong.

Despite being made out of fire, it surprisingly had yet to immolate anything. Unlike its creator, the beast itself was quite docile.

Wait. It wasn't just sitting. It was distracted by the birds chirping in the distance, its tail flickering about, betraying its interests.

Oh boy. He was having second thoughts about leaving it out to make a point later on. At the rate things were going, the dragon was going to forget where it was and possibly set fire to some things that should not be set on fire.

And then he'd have to pay for it.

Meaning more work.

… Again.

"Aren't you still paying off the debt from that time one of them got overly curious and destroyed some of Azazel's test equipment?"

Yeah. No. He learned his lesson the first time.

"Fine. Fine. I'll make the child go away so he doesn't cause any trouble." With a quick whistle and some quick orders, he told the dragon to dissipate itself. Surprisingly, the monster actually looked slightly sad at the command before complying.

"Child?" Akeno blinked in confusion, as did several others. It was an odd word choice for someone like Issei to use in general. It was almost as if he treated the construct as an individual in its entirety.

"Now that we've gotten introductions out of the way, and you made your… point," Rias struggled to find the right word to describe what had just happened over the past ten minutes, "how do you intend to train us? You sound like this is going to last for just the weekend. I don't see how any of us could make significant progress in only a couple of days."

Issei shrugged. "Same way I was taught. Via multitasking, longterm multistage projects, and humiliating experiences that you will suppress for the rest of your lives."

Fuck you Ghost. Fuck you long after Fuck you is no longer a thing.

With a stick.

"Can I opt out of this?" Saji lifted his hand, completely unashamed by his request.

His fellow Peerage members grabbed onto him with death in their eyes. "If we suffer, you suffer too."

"Damn it."

"Oh quit being such a pussy. At least the bastard driving you nuts isn't in your soul and can fuck with you while you're asleep."

All the Devils and Raynare stared at Issei.

"Sacred Gear." He lifted up his right arm wrapped in a holy shroud.

"Oh." Rias knew of several Sacred Gears with spirits in them that could drive their hosts insane, but that didn't narrow down what Issei had by much.

"So, how are you going to make us all miserable, exactly?" Sona didn't hold back her disapproval of what was to come next.

Issei rolled his eyes. "First, I'm going to examine all of you to find out what the heck you can actually do. Then I'm going to give you all long term projects, tasks, and subjects to study to actually diversify your skillset. Things that you're going to waste time on long after this weekend. Then, only after all of that, and I start running the Cougar into the ground, I'm going to annoy the fuck out of every one of you when you least expect it so that eventually all of you will be somewhat aware of your surroundings at all times."

"What was that about running me into the ground?"

Sona and the others blinked for a moment. Outside of that last part, Issei's plan actually sounded useful. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"Nothing outlandishly unreasonable? No absurd training routines to push us past our limits?"

"Does this look like a scene from some cheap movie or half assed anime? Even if you are Devils working with magic and all that bullshit, it doesn't mean that everything related to training has to be flashy or life altering or push you to the brink of death. Nine times out of ten, simpler ways to train are the most useful. You just have to be creative enough to know what to train and look for in the first place."

The Devils didn't know how to react to that. His surprisingly tempered approach to their development was unexpected.

"If you're all done questioning me in your thoughts, we can start. Oi. Runt. You're up first."

Saji paled. "What? Why me? You spend more time with the Gremory's peerage than mine."

"Because you're just turned and I need to see if anything was overlooked. Now get your ass over here."

"Overlooked?" Sona didn't like the way Issei had just talked about her Pawn's condition. While she might not dote over her Peerage like Rias did, she did not skimp out on their health or treatment. "I hope you are not insinuating anything about me or the way I treat my subordinates."

"I'm not. I'm making a jab about Devils and those in the upper class in general." Issei didn't bother looking at her as Saji reached him. "Ok. Now look straight forward."

"What do you mean by that exactly?" Rias was confused.

"Deep slow breaths." Issei instructed as his hands glowed with white magic, feeling Saji's neck. "I mean that the Devil upper class has a tendency of ignoring or forgetting that reincarnating has on people with Sacred Gears and individuals that come from different mythical backgrounds and species have unusual or adverse effects on their health."

"Forgetting?" Sona didn't like the sound of that, nor did she remember hearing anything of this nature when she was studying to be the King of a Peerage in the first place.

"Follow the light with your eyes. Not your head." Issei held up a finger that was now glowing as if a light bulb was under his skin, and moved it in various directions. "Take the Runt for example. Most Sacred Gear users that don't have their trinkets awake when they are reincarnated have their entire beings jolted shocked. It's an aftereffect of applying a Devil spin directly to something from God's system. Accessing their gears for the first time is easier, but it also sometimes sets up some spiritual road blocks further down the line, and makes some hurdles even more of a pain in the ass to get over. Runt has a Dragon type Sacred Gear, which… one second, yes, was essentially half forced awake after being reincarnated."

"Is that going to be a problem?" Sona was suddenly worried. It wouldn't do if she had accidentally crippled her Pawn in some way.

"It might be nothing, it might mean he'll have to die half a dozen times or get traumatized to insanity before unlocking Balance Breaker. It's too soon to tell."

"Traumatized to insanity?" Saji paled. "Balance Breaker?"

Issei pointedly ignored him. "Mix all of that with the fact that all these changes happened when he's in the middle of puberty, and you have the perfect setup for potential development complications. It would not be unexpected for him to end up being more aggressive and emotional as a result of so many internal changes firing off simultaneously. Not to mention that his sweat and odor glands will instantly be pouring out modified dragonic hormones at abnormal rates. I wouldn't be surprised if half of the Enabler's Peerage winds up at least somewhat infatuated with him by the time summer ends if he spends enough time with them."

"Wait. What?" Tsubaki blinked in surprise. Many of the other girls with her were of a similar mindset.

"And of course you guys wouldn't be warned about such issues, because most Devils don't even bother recognizing or acknowledging them in the first place." Issei sighed, moving his hands to Saji's chest, hands glowing once more. "Devils. Angels. Fallen. The Judeo Christian religions all originate from the Middle East, branching out West and South to Europe, the Americas, and Africa in one way or another. Your magic is based, if not linked to those systems in one way or another. It does not, however, work nearly as well when applied to those that originate from the Eastern Pantheons. Beel's scary good, but even he isn't that good."

Rias worriedly glanced at Koneko briefly. "What sort of issues could come up from reincarnating people from those areas?"

"Depends on what their powers and natures are like. It might be nothing, it might be crippling. Either way, even if it's the latter, it's likely that the Devil upper class would just sweep it under the rug to keep themselves from looking bad. More so if it's in order to hide their own personal fuckups. Conveniently, any "problem" peerage members that aren't meeting expectations can just be chucked off in the middle of nowhere, declared Stray Devils, and then taken care of as someone else's problem. You'd be surprised how many underground groups have turned that into an actual business. They even have competing prices and Christmas specials. Sadistic pricks think they're being witty with that one."

There was more than one Peerage member there that was stunned by his statement. And as much as Rias wanted to refute his claim, even she knew that there were Devils out there that did not treat their underlings with care.

"You sound quite certain of this. I take it you have examples of these supposed controversies?" Sona couldn't deny that what Issei said was possible, no, it was expected. But even she had yet to hear of anyone significant laying the blame on their Peerage members for something they did. Then again, she and Rias didn't exactly go out of their way to learn of such unsavory incidents in the first place.

"I have a list. But I guess the biggest recent example that you'd recognize is Kuro." Issei yawned. It was a partial lie. The biggest one would be him, but Kuro's was more recent. "Runt, where does your Sacred Gear show up?"

"Right arm."

"Mmm."

"Kuro?" The sinking feeling in Rias' stomach grew in magnitudes. She really hoped that Issei wasn't talking about who she thought he was.

"That SS ranked stray cat that drove half the Devil World nuts after she offed her King. Kuro." He verified simply with a shrug.

"You mean Kuroka? The Nekoshou? The one that went mad with power using Senjutsu?" Sona clarified, unwilling to look at Koneko.

"Nekoshou? Yes. Horny as fuck black cat that keeps throwing her panties in my face whenever she has a chance? Yes. Mad with power using Senjutsu? Not in this millennia." Issei deadpanned.

He wasn't joking about the panties either. It was practically her way of greeting him. If there was underwear in his face, Kuro was nearby.

In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if she still wore underwear just to do that in the first place.

"You know her?" Rias blinked in surprise.

"Know her? Weeb, I'm the one that healed her from death's door when she first escaped the underworld. Nearly killed her myself when she triggered half the alarms in my house and collapsed bleeding out at my front steps."

Even he was surprised by his own actions that day. It had been shortly after his meltdown, and by all rights, he was still in the mindset of "kill intruders first, ask questions later".

Then again, she had been one of the few people that didn't screw him over in the end.

Technically.

She didn't help, but then again, she hadn't been in a position to help in the first place.

It was either him or her sister.

There was no point in getting mad at something that was inevitable.

At least she didn't speak against him… unlike some cowards.

"You aided an insane criminal that killed her Master? You are her accomplice?" Sona did not like the sound of this.

Issei rolled his eyes. "Get off your high horse. Remember what I said about Devil elites not bothering to understand foreign powers and covering their own asses? Prime example. Right there."

"You're lying." Koneko found her voice, and it was not a kind or gentle one. "Kuroka went insane with Senjutsu and killed her King. She's a violent, heartless monster."

"If by insane you mean her near perpetual state of arousal, then I completely agree with you. Nutjob can't go ten minutes without trying to hump me and ask for my dragon babies."

"… What?" Sona wasn't the only one that asked this time.

It was a slight exaggeration. Even Kuroka knew that touching Issei from out of the blue was an insanely bad idea. But that didn't mean she didn't try to sneak a hug in every now and then after preparing him for it.

That, or grab his ass.

… He wasn't oblivious. He knew that whenever he did let her close, she would use her mastery of Ki and Senjutsu to calm his own system down.

It was nice, to be able to feel peaceful and calm again, at least for a little while. Resting his head between two glorious oppai…

"Mmmm. Ki hugs." Issei's eyes were glazed over as he lost himself in his memories.

"Issei? Issei! You're zoning out again!" Rias snapped her fingers near his head, already familiar with his occasional daydreaming episodes.

"Eh?! Where are the Oppai pillows of peace and tranquility?!" His head whipped around, eyes filled with confusion and betrayed loss.

Sona decided to ignore his question. "You were talking about the Stray Devil Kuroka."

Issei blinked, getting his head on straight. "Kuro? Oh. Right. The public story has the order of events wrong. She killed the prick that was her King first. When she went through with that, the failsafe built into Peerage pieces that're supposed to protect the King from insubordination and rebellion kicked in."

Certain individuals listening to him stood still like statues. Unable to speak or even react properly.

"Like I said before, magics from differing mythos rarely mix well. The feedback from the piece in her screwed with her Senjutsu control, but not before she followed through killing the guy. When the rest of the Peerage came by to see what was happening, they saw her going out of control over their King's corpse and assumed what was the public story now. The rest is as expected. Kuro ran away. Managed to get her powers under control. Got labeled a stray. And no one bothered to look any deeper than that."

"Is that the story she told you? And you believe her?" Sona gave him a disappointed look, as if expecting him to not be so gullible.

"I do. Because unlike most people, I actually have an education on Senjutsu and know what a person that loses control and goes mad with it actually looks like, and all the associated symptoms. Animus infarction. Hyper-sensitivity. Physical mutations. Hyper-dilated pupils. Myocardium irregularities with results resembling Brugada Syndrome. Mutations originating from the chakras, primarily from the Muladhara, Svadhishana, Anahata, and Ajna. I had all the proof I needed when I healed her and saw none of it." Issei yawned. "I have absolutely no skill in the art itself, but that doesn't mean I'm clueless about how it works and how to treat at least some related maladies."

Thank all that was decent that his ability in using Ki hadn't slipped.

"He does sound like he knows what he's talking about." Kiba hesitantly noted.

Akeno stepped forward, putting a hand on Koneko's shoulder to calm the girl down before she erupted. "How do you know anything about Senjutsu in the first place?"

"I was curious." Issei lamely excused himself. "Kuro did volunteer work at a university that I… frequented, when she was part of her Peerage. I talked to her a few times and she seemed to like me. I learned a lot from her. Also saw firsthand that her King was a piece of trash."

"And you think that taking a few lessons from her was enough to make you an expert on the subject?" Tsubaki probed, trying to find a flaw in the explanation.

"Of course not. But the scroll on Senjutsu written and autographed by the first Son Goku I have in my room gives me the impression that I'm more than learned on the subject than most Devils." He wasn't a collector on anything that wasn't porn, but even he was certain that the scroll was worth more than five of his house bare minimum.

"Th-the first Son Goku?!" Sona gaped. "He's one of the most powerful individuals on in the world! The world's leading expert on Senjutsu! His wisdom and experience is legendary, but he's rarely interacted with anyone for the past few centuries! How did you get your hands on such a valuable tome?!"

"I asked for a detailed manual on Senjtusu for my birthday for research. Kuro got me that. How? Fuck if I know. It's not fake though. I had the signature verified and certified by an expert. Either way, I'm not complaining." Issei shrugged, as if dismissing the absurdity of it all. "There's over a dozen visible and permanent symptoms of someone that's lost themselves to Senjutsu. Last time I saw her, she sported a fat zero on it… technically a point five since she does get a bit feral and twisted if she gets a bit pissed, but that's more an aftereffect of being forced to lose hold of her powers, if only for a short time."

Because Issei wasn't bothering to pay attention to those around him, he didn't notice the death glare that Koneko was giving him. Rias, on the other hand, did.

"Issei. What you told us was interesting about Kuroka, but you never explained one important part. Why did she kill her King in the first place? If she didn't do it because she went mad, if she was losing control of herself going through with it, then why risk her life?"

"Turn around. Keep breathing deeply. I'm checking your lungs. Fire breath and all that." Issei instructed Saji with a bored tone, momentarily ignoring Rias and pressing his palms on the young man's back.

"Why? Easy. Like I said, her King was a total prick. I met him before. Asshole didn't like the fact that Kuro was stronger than him and started to get obsessed with Senjutsu. Thought he might get stronger if he tried to do some insane experiments on her sister, Shirou… something or whatever, and try to transplant the spiritual glands that made Nekoshou so good at it so he could use it. Kuro found out, and was not happy, to put it lightly."

Anyone that knew Kuroka knew of her one major rule. You even think about touching her sister, you die horribly. No exceptions.

Rias' peerage, plus Sona were struck mute.

"She has a sister?" Saji, on the other hand, was completely clueless.

Issei rolled his eyes, as if remembering something annoying. "If Kuro wasn't talking about sex, she was talking about her little sister. Shirou this. Shirou that. Total sis-con. Whoever got into a relationship with her would have to resign themselves to the fact that they'd always take second place to the poor kid."

"Sounds like they came as a package." Saji surmised. "Wasn't she affected by the Peerage feedback too?"

"Nah. She luckily wasn't a part of the guy's group if I remember correctly. She was taken care of, but Kuro did all the work. Totally spoiled her, but from what I understand, all they had were one another for a while, so it makes sense."

"What happened to her?"

"If there was one thing that Kuro did regret the day she went awol, it was that she wasn't able to escape with the girl. Kuro practically killed herself all over again when she realized her sister was being made a scapegoat by the Devils. You have no idea how many strings I had to pull to get the full story to Zechs and get her out of the fire. I lost trace of her after that, but Zechs and Kuro both confirmed that she's doing well, wherever the hell she is. So, problem resolved."

All in all, it was probably for the best that they didn't escape together. Kuroka really was on the edge of death by the time she made it to Issei's home, and it wasn't because of the feedback. The odds of either of the two surviving the Devil hunting parties while Kuroka was in such an unstable state was a bad joke at best.

"My brother knew this the entire time?" Rias really didn't want to accept the fact that Sirzechs hid something like this from her and Koneko, but she couldn't deny that he'd do it either.

"Yup. Couldn't do anything about Kuro being labeled a SS stray, but at the very least, the younger sister wasn't completely screwed over. Why do you think that Lucifer personally got involved in the first place when he had no real reason to from an outside perspective?"

Rias opened her mouth to respond, but couldn't find anything to say. Issei was right. Sirzechs was a good person, but he was frequently swamped with work and many political matters. In the grand scheme of things, he genuinely didn't have a real reason or motive to save Koneko. And yet, Koneko was a part of her Peerage because her brother pushed the two together.

Because Issei had helped her.

"Of course, now there's also now a ban on independent experimenting with Senjutsu. If a Devil wants to play around with that stuff, they have to jump through a load of hoops and have a certified Senjutsu Master supervise the entire thing. Certifications which, I might add, are more or less impossible to get unless you shell out a small fortune to a select group of braindead ass-hats that are unable able to tell the difference between Senjutsu and a magic act in Vegas. Funny how that didn't make it into the news."

"Why?" Her voice was soft and trembling, but anyone that even glanced at Koneko could tell that she was going through so many emotions right now that she didn't even know what to feel.

"Why what?" Issei on the other hand, didn't even look at her, too busy writing down notes about Saji. "Ok, Runt. You're doing well so far, but I'm going to give you some special soap and deodorant later to keep your scent glands and hormones from affecting those around you. Also, you're going to want to have more meat in your diet from now on. Whatever the Enabler said you should eat for your standard workouts, add at least two more portions. On top of that, I recommend doing some basic meditation exercises for the next month or two to get your temper under control. At least long enough for you to acclimate yourself to your new condition…"

"Why didn't she take her sister? Why didn't she explain this to her?" The small girl's hands tightened into tight fists.

"That? From what I understand, the poor kid was traumatized to Heaven and back by the whole fiasco and the following fallout. The idiots from the King's family were desperate to hide the fact that he was doing a bunch of crazy illegal experiments behind everyone's back. It would have obliterated their reputation. So, they went about trying to mask it all by blaming the Nekoshou and Senjutsu as a whole at the top of their lungs and throwing money left and right to people that would help spread their "truth". The sister just happened to be the easiest target on hand at the time that everyone could point their fingers at. If you think about it, it was pretty obvious when everyone's attention and the news was focusing on the poor kid that didn't do a damn thing instead of the runaway sister that you know, actually killed the guy. Not exactly subtle."

There was more than one Devil there that was blinking owlishly, absolutely caught flatfooted by how obvious some of Issei's evidence was.

"After everything had calmed down, odds were that Kuro felt that Shirou wouldn't listen even if she tried to show up then. I heard that the sister got put into a good Peerage and is being taken care of. Knowing Kuro, she probably thought something along the lines of "so long as she's safe, I can always tell her later when she's ready. I don't want to ruin that one's happiness any more than I already have." Like I said. Total sis-con."

Apparently that had been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Without uttering a word, Koneko turned around and bolted away from everyone as fast as she could.

"Koneko!" Rias shouted in alarm, chasing after her along with the rest of her Peerage sans Gasper, who had been too surprised to follow.

"Hm?" Issei turned to watch the Gremory Peerage run away from him with disinterested eyes. "Eh. Probably a bathroom break. I have been doing nothing but exposition for half the morning…"

He completely missed the bewildered look that Sona's Peerage was giving him, as if asking "are you serious?"

"And thus concludes the sob story of a horny cat that spends more time lounging about fantasizing about her sister than doing anything genuinely nefarious." He summed up the story. "Oh. And a reason why I think upper class Devil society can suck a bag of dicks for all I care."

"… Really?" Sona broke character for once, looking at where Rias had run off to. "You genuinely didn't realize what just happened?"

"What just happened? Did I miss something? I can only do so many things at once." Finally, the glowing around Issei's hands dulled. "White Magic takes a lot of concentration for me to pull off. I don't have a natural talent for it, so I tend to block out most things when used because I need the extra focus."

"And yet you still managed to tell us the whole story of that stray devil Kuroka." Tsubaki tried to poke a hole through his argument.

"It's important in a lot of cases to ensure that the patient is conscious and get them to tell you if something is wrong while treating them." He stood his ground. "If you can't do that much, you have no reason to learn medical arts."

Sona pouted in frustration, knowing that he was right. The Sitri family was heavily invested in the medical field. Some of the best hospitals in the underworld were on her family territory. As a result, she also knew a thing or two about the healing arts.

"Right. Here." He tore off the piece of paper from his notebook and handed it to Saji. "Just follow these instructions and you should be all good. Also, if you encounter a middle aged guy with black hair and blonde bangs that looks like he spends most of his time screwing women but can't hold a relationship for the life of him, run away and let me know."

Saji blinked, taking the instructions. "Uh. Why that second part?"

Issei grabbed Saji's outstretched hand and pressed down on a few specific pressure points. As if on reflex, Saji's Sacred Gear, resembling a black chameleon resting on the back of his hand, materialized.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"Absorption Line. One of the Sacred Gears that contain a shard of Dragon King Vitra's soul. The guy I told you about has three of the others and likes to experiment on people without their permission for fun. I shouldn't have to explain things any further than that."

"R-right." Saji was trembling. "Crazy scientist. More Sacred Gears. Understood."

"Good." Issei turned to his next target. "Dio."

"Gasper."

"Dio." He took out a tennis ball and tossed it to the vampire. Gasper had been so surprised by the sudden action that he barely managed to catch it.

"What is it?"

"A tennis ball."

"… And?"

"It bounces."

"That's it?"

"Why are you looking at me like that? It's just a fucking ball."

"Can you blame me?"

"Without hesitation."

"… Why did you give me a tennis ball Senpai?" Gasper gave up trying to make sense of Issei's actions just as quickly as he had started.

"You're going to practice using The World on it."

"You mean Forbidden Balor View."

"Yes. Like I said. The World."

Sona had been Rias' friend since they were infants, and was one of the first people the redhead contacted whenever she got "an adorable new Peerage member to spoil". Gasper had been no exception. As a result, she was fairly used to seeing pretty much all sides of the Gremory Peerage's personalities.

This, on the other hand, was the first time witnessing kind and shy Gasper actually showing signs of genuine annoyance.

"How?"

"Easy." Issei shrugged. "Toss it up. Freeze it. See how long you can hold it in place. Let go. Repeat. Its control training. Flicking the switch on and off. The faster and stronger you can pull it off, the better. The easier it is to use in general. After a while, try freezing it two times a toss, then three. Be creative."

Gasper blinked in surprise, genuinely astonished that he was given such a low key regimen. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"You think that it will help me?"

"I think it should be a standard for all Sacred Gear users. There's no point in having a game breaking weapon or skill if you can't even get it out on time." Issei deadpanned. "At my best, I could whip mine out and dismiss it five times in a second. Twice if I actually wanted to use it for something. Yours comes out fully activated, so I fully expect you to eventually blow me out of the water once your balls drop. No, rather, with your powers, you should aim for such a ridiculous goal in the first place."

"Turning off and on Forbidden Balor View rapidly… you don't mean?" Sona blinked in surprise, understanding exactly what Issei was getting at.

"What the eye sees is constant, but the electrical pulses that send data it records to the brain are semi-intermittent. The human eyes' normal upper range of recording visual information is around sixty to ninety instances. It's called the flicker-fusion frequency. Of course, it's the normal for generic humans under generic circumstances. It'll be higher for Demons and Vampires in the midst of battle. If Dio can sync his Sacred Gear to that, he could theoretically stop and start time on his target so quickly that from an outside perspective he's slowing them down to whatever speed he wants instead of simply just stopping them. The difficulty of control is significantly higher, but in theory, the physical tax on his body and mind would be monumentally less. Meaning he'd be able to use his powers more without exhausting himself."

"I… can slow down time? Not just stop it?" Gasper blinked in genuine surprise.

"With practice. You're a Devil with a mutated Bishop piece and a Sacred Gear holder. Your powers are so disgustingly flexible as fuck that the cast of Cirque de Solei would be throwing up its arms in frustration trying to compete. Use that. Abuse that. If you have a problem, figure out a way your powers can deal with it and then master that approach. I'm just showing you the first few steps. You have to figure out the rest."

"I, you think I can do that?"

Issei nodded firmly.

"Of course you can. You're Dio."

Sona didn't get what just happened, but it was clear that Issei had just ruined whatever moment he could have had with Gasper from the defeated look on young boy's face and slumped over posture.

"… I'm just going to practice now."

Sona and her peerage watched as the young Vampire walked away with tears in his eyes. "You're a terrible person."

"And you're an Enabler."

"I don't even know why I even bother to try anymore."

"Because I'm unfortunately likely to serve a major role in your life in the future and the longer you go on not figuring me out the longer you're going to drive yourself mad mulling over it."

"… I hate you."

It might have been a trick of the light, but from the corner of her eyes, Sona could have sworn that Issei had smiled, if only for a brief moment.

"Oi. Enabler's minions. Line up. It's your turn to be inspected, humiliated, and given advice."

o. o. o.

Despite all the chaos that Issei had generated around Rias' group and Sona herself, the rest of her Peerage's experience with him had been rather tame in comparison.

Outside of Saji, Sona had a Queen, two Bishops, a Knight, a Rook and a pawn.

He did the two Bishops first at the same time to get them out of the way. Momo Hanakai and Reya Kusaka. Their kits and abilities were roughly the same. Strong in magic. Decent shape. Devils for a couple of years already. Basic experience in fighting Stray Devils. Reya had some talent for communication spells, which could be pretty useful further down the line, but overall, they were pretty generic. Not terrible, just generic.

Save for the fact that Sona had been teaching them Reverse magic, spells that invert the nature and purpose of other spells and abilities.

He had to give the Enabler credit where it was due. As far as spells that held usefulness in the long term, he considered Reverse disgustingly high up there. It was a good call. The only problems with it were that it was near useless against pure physical fighters and it was damn hard to learn.

Their training in the end was fairly basic and straight forward. Try to use their support magic to do nearly everything in their lives. Brush their teeth. Dress themselves. Talk to one another. Bullshit everything all the time whenever feasibly possible.

The constant use of their spells would enhance their stamina and increase the flexibility of their thinking. The girls were clearly designated to supporting roles for now, so there was no point in trying to get them to practice anything offensive. Once their stamina and confidence in battle increased a bit, then they could turn their attention to the offensive.

Next was Tomoe Meguri, a knight who, surprise surprise, specialized in swordsmanship. Katannas in particular.

What was more interesting though was the girl apparently came from a family of exorcists. It took a bit of prodding to get the whole story from her, but apparently she had been cursed by birth by some Demon that had a grudge against her family. One that could apparently only be removed by ironically being reincarnated.