1 Darkness where I live in

The sun finally kissed me when I get up and face the wall where I usually talk to, this might be quite odd but I still have a firm grip into my sanity. My mind was always filled with notions that sometimes I cannot convert it into words, but once I spilled it into letters it always appeared obscure, for I play the words differently, I look towards things differently, that sometimes I found myself enigmatic. But actually, I'm just a gal whom sucked by blandness completely and carry all the definitions of simplicity.

This wall in front of me is like a one great journal of mine, filled with scribbles of my thoughts, experiences and even my literary pieces. So odd indeed, but I like this way. I sometimes gone into fantasy and imprison myself inside the dungeon of my thoughts.

I hold into my pen and motioned it upon the wall until it kissed the surface, I dig deeper in my mind and found the cascading thoughts that are eager to get out, and let it linger trough my hand, through my pen, as a new group of words seemed to found its home to the wall.

"Tell me where I should run to when I see no path." I write so on.

"Tell me reasons to live when I see none on this world."

"Tell me how I could be pleased when I only see dullness."

"Tell me such motivating words before I gave in."

"Tell me please, tell me before my will to live vanish."

As I let all the words spill, I can't help it but to let go my tears as well as it falls on leap.

"Reyn..."

I quickly wiped out my tears as I heard the familiar voice back at me, I didn't want this person caught me crying.

"Grandma, how long have you been in there? I haven't felt your presence instantly. I didn't even heard the opening of the door."

"I just came here right now and came in silently, afraid that I might interrupt you to your sleep, but you're already wide awake."

"Wide awake but I see no differences from sleeping."

"Oh Reyn, don't say that."

"Why? But it was the truth."

"I didn't want to see you hurting." And at that cue, I heard her sobs.

"Sorry Grandma, but what do you want me to do? Wear such facades and appear to be happy? It's better to ripped myself off."

"No, not like that dear. I want you to get over, it might be too hard but please, put your willingness to do it. It would be painful if you still hang on to the past." Said she.

"It might took you so long to attain it, but never gave in."

I smiled as I heard it from my grandma, it has seemed lessen the burden in me. Oh the motivating words, what I crave for.

"Thank you." I uttered.

"My pleasure to stand with you on travails. Let's go downstairs and grab our breakfast." Said Grandma as she provided me the support to stand up and took our way slowly. I should be the one whom doing it to her, because she's growing older and her body gone weaker. If only I could... If I could still have the ability to see, I would do that to her.

"Your vision was already dark, don't let it suck your life as well." She muttered.