Chapter 4

At lunch Savannah picks me up just out of the classroom I'm in. I'm surprised she came to get me, I thought she was going to leave me on my own.

"Finished?" she asks with a bored face.

"Yeah."

"Have lunch on fourth period?"

"Yeah."

"Me too, follow me."

"M'kay..."

She guides me to the canteen and she explains to me how it works. We sit at a table far away from her friends. I want to ask her why she's like this so bad but it could look like I know who she is. Or was. I'm pretty sure she already knows anyway. Mitch joins us and gives me a look when Savannah isn't paying attention. I smile, him smiling back and we have lunch in an awkward silence. At the end Savannah looks at my friend, smiles and says "Anyway, nice to meet you. I'm Savannah."

"Mitch." he answers and shakes her hand. She walks away and I look at him with wide eyes.

"How come she doesn't smile at me? What's wrong with her?" but the question I should ask is why I feel like I'm so hot I might explode and at the same time I have a bloody freezing shock going up and down my spine. I really should stop this.

"Dunno. She might not like you. She tends to be nice only to boys and hot popular girls. Not that you're ugly, it's just the first day of school and being the new kid...well, it's hard making friends. Most of them end up alone."

"Oh." So it's nothing against me. But still, the Savannah I know would be nice to everyone. I don't know if I'm happy or disappointed. Probably both. Damn, I'm confusing myself too.

"Hey, anyways...you know in the US we have school balls right?"

"Yeah..."

"I was thinking...since you don't have anyone to go with, maybe I could bring you? Wait no one's bringing you, right?"

"No, no one. But yeah, sure."

"Great, it's a date. I mean, it's not a date, it's the school ball. But yeah." He gives me a kiss on the cheek and dashes away. I thought he meant in a friend way. Oh God, I'll have to come out.

When school finishes I walk out the door and see Mitch sitting on the steps. I can't talk about this now, he barely knows me and I came out only to Martina and Lorenzo. I guess I'll come out to the whole school soon, but not yet, I'm not ready now, plus I'm the new girl. It's just the first day. I stay frozen there, not knowing what to do. A guy bumps into me and looks at me badly. I turn around and try to avoid Mitch. I'm almost there, I'm almost out of the parking lot. Someone stops me, gripping me by my shoulder. I freeze, scared, then I take a breath, turning around slowly. I really don't want to do this now. I look down and I see a pair of black sneakers and shorts. Mitch was definitely wearing black jeans. I look up and see Savannah.

"You dropped this." She says, giving me my binder.

"Oh, thanks."

"What's that face for?"

"What face?"

"It looks like you're about to throw up or something."

"Oh, no it's nothing, thought you were someone else."

"Uhm ok? Anyway, we meet in front of school at eight sharp so I can give you a tour of the school." She walks away, leaving me standing there like an idiot. She didn't treat me bad, she gave me my binder. Well, she didn't treat me nice either, but she sounded plane, not irritated. I'm probably over thinking this. I'm surely over thinking this. I see Mitch coming towards me. I spin fast and start walking towards the exit at a quick pace.

"Hey," He says, catching up with me.

"Hi, I really need to get home soon, my grandparents will be infuriated if I don't get home in time." I lie.

"They seemed quite nice...anyway, I can walk you home."

"No, need thanks. I'll be fine by myself."

"Come on, your house is even on the way, it'll be fine."

"Ugh, fine."

We walk in silence for five good minutes, I hope he doesn't talk. I mean, talking's fine, but not about the ball. Or us. And especially not about my sexuality. He keeps it silent, until he turns to me. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, why shouldn't it?"

"I don't know, I saw you talk to Savannah before and now you're all moody."

"I am most certainly not moody. And she was nice to me. Ok maybe she wasn't that nice but she wasn't bad either, better than usual. And she gave me my binder. I had lost it on the way apparently."

"Oh. Ok. What is it then?"

"What is it what?"

"I don't know, you tell me. You're all weird."

"I'm not weird."

He looks at me with disbelief. God, I really don't want to do this now. When I moved here I thought I was going to be more comfortable with it. I mean, I am comfortable in my sexuality, I accept myself and all that. I just don't feel so comfortable saying it out loud, I'm not used to having it all out there in the open.

"Ugh, fine. I can go to the school dance alone, it's fine. Go with the girl you like or something. And it wasn't a date, I accepted as a friend, nothing more."

"But I'm starting to like you..."

"Please don't. I could never ever go out with you."

"Why, is it against your religion?" he laughs, nervously. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"I don't follow any religion."

"Against your mother?"

"No..."

"Grandparents?"

"No..."

"Sexuality?"

"Kinda?"

"What do you mean kinda?"

"I'm gay. Like a hundred percent gay."

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry. Well, I guess I'll take someone else to the ball."

"Yeah..." in the mean time we got to my house. We say goodbye and I jump indoors.