Chapter 5- A Scorpio in the Fish tank

Umar grinned widely as he heard his sweetheart’s soft voice over the phone, giving him the very answer he knew she would, at least he’d hoped she would. He had known this girl, Mashal for quite a few years now. She was good friends with his only sister Mona , though the two couldn’t be more different from one another. She was unlike Mona's other friends.

For starters, even as a small kid, she was always well dressed, had a bit of a no nonsense attitude, with half a dimple on her left cheek. She had those cute rabbit-like two incisors shining when her lips parted to flash a rather attractive smile. The neighbourhood boys were a bit crazy about her since she was one of the few girls who wore short dresses (until recently) and spoke with an accent. I personally knew a couple of them had tried to talk and befriend her more than usual but she had dismissed any such passes.

So, since the beginning I knew quite well that I had to stand out amongst the rest if I wanted her to notice me. Not that her other friends didn’t have older brothers. But they surely didn’t have the charisma, neither the perseverance nor the pursuance that I did. After the end of my high school exams, summer was pretty boring, until my married paternal aunt from the USA arrived to spend holidays with us. She was so much fun, it was like having an adult+mischievous partner in crime around us. She was just that extra friendly aunt people have, and made acquaintance with nearly all friends of Mona and mine. It was her who, for no specific reason, decided Mashal should be the type of girl I should marry. As the oldest male child of the family, my aunts and grandmother pinned all their dreams onto me and joked about how I would look as a young groom.

In subcontinent culture, it is common to associate girls and boys from a very young age (preteen years even) as one another’s future life partners, by their parents. In my case, what began as a harmless joke, turned into something much more by late 2002. As it is Mashal had caught my eye out the whole lot of noisy girls that Mona called her best friends, to top it my aunt and my entire family too, had given me their approval for her, even as for teasing sake, but all the above just kind of shoved me into searching for the perfect opportunity when I could confess my feelings to her. But I wasn’t the type of person who would go out on a limb to impress a girl, not yet, not until she fell for me first. I could dare not look desperate. It was considered unmanly in our part of the world. I was often called the two faced Gemini by my friends at school, one was the macho, and other the genuinely caring guy, I couldn't yet reveal both sides to Mashal. I had to maintain my aura of Mona's big untouchable macho brother (as she genuinely believed me to be like her brother too) and yet, be the slightest flirtatious to let her know what was on my mind. It was tricky, but I trusted myself more than anyone else to do the job or even take advice from.

The opportunity came knocking, or rather ringing my phone on Mona's 14th birthday. Mashal called at our landline number late noon to give her birthday wishes. The thing about being the eldest sibling is that you can always shoo off the younger ones and pretend to be doing something really important and boss them around. That’s exactly what happened when Mashal asked for Mona on the phone and I casually replied that she was napping, when she was sitting barely 5 feet away from me having her lunch and watching television. Mashal was about to hang up when I had mere seconds to decide to say something that could keep her on the line for further time.

So I popped the question. No, not THE question, but the first question that came to my mind. I asked her if boys and girls can be friends. I knew very well that if I held her interest (because she was smarter than the other girls I had spoken to) I could have a chance to impress her with intellect and then win her over eventually.

That conversation and tens of such later, I grew impatient. As a sixteen year old my sexual desires were surfacing within my body. A lot of boys my age turned to porn then and for the sake of joining their ranks I did too, but it disgusted me. The whole forcing of manliness on a woman squealing, it was not appealing, informative yes, but distasteful to my eyes. I wanted tenderness, genuinity, actual love, cuddlings, holding hands and hugging. I badly wanted to press a female body against mine, I was built strongly and I hit the gym whenever possible. I was also a good swimmer so I knew pretty well I could make any girl feel wholesome in my arms.

But in order to do that, I needed to know first if the girl I admired also adored me back so I gave her an ultimatum. 1st October 2002, she would give me an answer, whether she was my girl or not. Anything else would proceed after that. I was pretty darn sure it would be a yes. She hadn’t ever been involved with any other guy before, I had checked. Sure, she crushed on a couple, but all girls have crushes. She prayed, she fasted, she kept her house clean, she knew how to dress, talk, she ticked pretty much all the boxes I had imagined. The few she didn’t until then, I know I had to be patient enough to find out in future.

Hence the scorpion fell in my fish tank. She had met one side of me, pretty soon she would meet the other one too. People say scorpions sting, pretty bad, but so does love. Ten days after she gave me an answer, she was at my place in the afternoon, playing a game on the computer. I was pacing up and down in the hallway waiting for Mona to leave the bedroom so I could sneak up to talk to her face to face. Our late night phone conversations were becoming routine by then and any routine became boring for me.

Just then my sister walked out to grab some snacks from the kitchen. I waited for her to turn in the opposite direction and quickly entered the room. My grandmother was sleeping at the other end of it, so the lights were out. I had to adjust my pupils to look at Mashal properly. Her hair was in a half ponytail as usual and she was wearing shiny transparent lip gloss. She was perched in front of the computer monitor on an iron rod chair which wasn't too comfortable. Her dupatta was on her left shoulder casually draping a side of her body, hiding her curves but her eyes lit up and she flashed a smile as soon as she saw me enter.

I went closer to the monitor, to look at the game she was playing, but she was losing. It certainly didn't bother her, but I wanted her to win. I leaned half down and quickly made a few moves on the keyboard with my fingers and her player was soaring high, she turned to face me and said a quick thanks gleefully.

Something happened at that moment and my breath quickened. I had never been in such close proximity with her ever before, our faces were only inches apart from one another. I felt her feel the physical tension and she tore her eyes to look back at the screen. That move she made, whether intentionally or in chastity, tugged hard at my emotions. I had no idea what overcame me, so I leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the right cheek. She drove in the air and became still for just a slight moment and gasped " UMAR!!!’’ and turned to look back at my grandmother.

She was always smart, I knew, but her presence of mind fascinated me at that moment. To be struck in utter shock yet, have the sense to check if an adult was watching or not, amazing!! I had certainly chosen well! I had forgotten grandma’s presence but she had not. She turned to stare back at me and this time her pupils were not dilated, they showed anger. She stood up from the chair and left the room quietly.