Fischl's Truth
"How could I not see it?" I couldn't help but wonder as I gazed at the immense Azure door towering over 100 meters tall. As I approached it, the door only grew more imposing and terrifying.
"Mein Fräulein, please do not go forward," Oz pleaded desperately as I neared the door.
"Why are you trying to stop me, Oz?" Without moving my feet, I turned to look at Oz, who remained in its place, not approaching the door. "Didn't you tell me that you will always be with me?"
"Oz will always be next to Fischl, but over there, no Oz nor Fischl can possibly exist," Oz explained with a serious tone. "Only pain awaits you there."
"Is this the reason I am here?" I asked, considering the possibility of saving Allen. "The possibility to at least make Allen survive?"
"Yes, mein Fräulein. But..." Oz hesitated.
"So there's no more reason to doubt. I'll go forward. I won't run away," I convinced myself, reaching out to touch the enormous gate. With a light touch, the gate changed its color, turning a deep crimson as cracks started forming around my touch.
*CR* The enormous door started trembling and began to open, emanating an ominous aura. Without hesitation, I stepped forward and passed through.
"Goodbye, Fischl," I heard Oz's final words.
I looked around the new place, finding it similar to the previous one but also completely different. The sky was black and crimson, resembling a painting depicting the ruins of a falling kingdom with a huge red moon over it.
The land, on the other hand, was like an enormous library. Neat and clean shelves filled with books extended over the horizon, seemingly endless.
"So the time has come again," a voice echoed from near the entrance. The shelves around me started moving, creating a new space in front of me, revealing a crimson throne with a woman sitting on it.
"Who are you?" I asked, trying to make out the features of the woman. Her face appeared blurred, and an intense red light emanated from where her left eye should be, obscuring her face and only revealing her long white hair.
"A tricky question. I've been called multiple names, but I've never liked any of them. They all simply express the desires of others for me," she replied. "If I should describe myself I suppose that I am a manifestation of memories, the memories that you desire to hide and forget."
I couldn't quite comprehend the woman before me. She felt like an unfathomable being, far more significant than anyone I had ever encountered. However, as I listened to her voice, I could only sense one thing—exhaustion. Her voice carried weariness and a lack of desire to continue living.
"You are really young this time," the woman remarked with pity as she swung her hand, summoning a book from the small opening of the huge door that I recognized as Flowers for Princess Fischl.
"That Niu really created a troublesome bridge towards me. A book of my adventures. It doesn't clearly depict them completely to avoid being blocked my us but leaves a portal open, allowing one's imagination to complete it." Just as the woman touched the book, this one's cover turned crimson, the name of it changing to Tales of the Treacherous Princess.
"Little girl," the book disappeared, and the intense red light of her eye focused on me. "It's not too late. Leave and forget this place. Even if it's only for a few more minutes, live." She signaled the opening of the door.
"I can't," I replied with determination. "If I were to leave, my friend and I would die just like that. I won't allow it if there is another option, no matter the price, even if it costs my own life."
"Your life? There are far worse things than dying. Dying being sometimes the best blessing." The woman stated "Do you know what is this place? This place is your knowledge. However, it is that part you choose to ignore. The truth that you have sensed but not wanted to see."
"Yes, freeing these memories will undoubtedly give you strength, but they will be followed by the pain and hurt of it. Taking them won't be different from ceasing your existence, and experiencing unbearable pain before becoming someone else. Your true self disappearing, flooded by it," she said sadly. "It's better to die as yourself rather than live as others."
"I've already made my decision," I responded firmly, determined to face whatever lies ahead.
"People aren't afraid of pain until they experience the authentic true pain," the woman sighed, summoning a new book from outside. This one was the golden book that I previously used, my first meeting with Oz.
*Sniff, Sniff* The scene replayed again with my younger version crying after my father's words.
"Let me show you the truth of that time that you so wanted to forget," the woman touched the golden book, turning it crimson.
"I am Amy," the younger me said, finishing the phrase and a wave of sadness washed over me. 'It shouldn't be like that. Oz appeared at that time. What is happening?'
"I am not Fischl!" The younger me cried, "I never traveled and had adventures-!" Suddenly, she stopped. "B-but, I c-can remember some. That throne, that moon, the castle, the king, that god...!"
"HAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The younger me fell to the ground, clutching her head that seemed to break down, agonizingly crying as tears fell uncontrollably from her eyes.
"Haaaaaaa!" I also clenched my head as the overwhelming emotions from the memory came rushing back, causing immense pain and sadness as if piercing my brain.
"I'll block them for you," Oz surged from the left eye of my memory version, his aura causing the memory me to sleep, her face quickly relaxing and becoming calm.
"What is the meaning of this?" I asked the woman as the memory disappeared, my head still hurting from the aftermath.
"That's the truth of that time. It was you remembering what should be hidden. Something so horrible to break anyone." The woman stated "And that was only a small part of it. You won't be able to cope with them. If you were to destroy the block sealing the memories, you will break. Fischl will die and I, the one that must be forgotten, the Traitor Princess will be born again. In the end, our memories and experiences are what make us and you are too young and inexperienced to be more than a drop of water in the ocean of these memories." She said presenting the shelves of books.
Fright started invading me, I really did not want to experience that pain again and it was only a little part... But! "Still I won't change my decision! Rather than both of us dying, I'll sacrifice myself. If I can at least save Allen, I will take this pain with me, losing myself in it."
"That boy, eh?" The woman summoned more golden books from outside.
"My princess" "I'll protect you" These ones showed my memories with Allen, our first meeting, our adventures together. The funny and exciting times together that always caused a smile to appear on my face when remembering them.
"Niwa Allen Lawrence. A young adventurer that came to Mondstadt after a forced exile from Inazuma, your friend and loyal knight..."
*Clap!* The woman closed the books, the memories disappearing "But is that everything of him?" A new crimson book was summoned from the nearest shelf, creating a new scene.
Allen was inside the room of what seemed to be a hotel with a blue jewel in his hand. Suddenly, his body twitched and transformed becoming a beautiful young woman.
"WHAT!?" I couldn't hide my shock at Allen transforming, especially because I was able to recognize the woman, Columbina.
"As I said before you are capable of feeling a lot of things that you would rather not see. Oz has a great vision." The woman stated "Niwa Allen Lawrence, the 11th Fatui Harbinger known as Columbina. Coming to Mondstadt as a spy, to gain power for the Fatui and rob Barbatos's Gnosis."
More memories surged showing scenes of Columbina's dealings, her plans, kills and all the damage that she had done to Mondstadt all for her own worth. Always keeping a facade with the others, creating a perfect image to gain the most out of it.
'Has Allen been always lying to me? I was merely another piece of his play?'
"That's who Allen truly is." The woman finally showed the last memory with Columbina being the culprit and mastermind of the Oceanid attack at Mondstadt. Fighting Barbatos who seemed to be a little barb and damaging all Mondstadt.
"Are you sure that he is someone that deserves your sacrifice?" *Clap* The woman closed the book, stopping the scene of Columbina fighting against a masked man. "Return to your place, only pain awaits you with the truth."
'She might be right. Is it really worth experiencing such torture, sacrificing myself? In the end, I've never had any friend, Oz simply working to keep me away from the truth and Allen lying and using me.' melancholy flooded me 'I'm really useless. Maybe a quick and useless death is the best for me, no one really being sad with it.'
'Sacrificing myself for Allen, what was I thinking? Sacrificing for someone who almost destroyed Mondstadt and only thought about himself... Wait a moment' Suddenly a realization came 'Is that really all about him? He simply being a Fatui?'
"Come!" I summoned the golden books that now were somewhat tainted with crimson colors, replaying my time with Allen. Now I was able to see more throught them, the changes in his expression, his hidden emotions, but at the same time I was sure that a lot of them were real 'Those laughs together...'
'Yes. He had lied, but I doubt that there's no other reason behind it apart from work. He attacked Mondstadt and for what it seemed, accomplished his objective. Then he left for some time before returning the past month. Why would he do that?'
"Ellen" I realized remembering these days when he spent most of his time with his lost sister Ellen "He returned with her sister after finishing his mission. That's his reason to lie and act like that, all for his sister."
"Even now are you trying to defend him? While possible, that's only a hypothesis of you to put some humanity in him"
"Yes, it might be, but can you negate this lie with your painful truth?" I fiercely glared at her, perfectly knowing what would be her answer.
"No. That truth is unknown to us" The woman answered.
"I supposed it, but you know. I think that your truth can tell more things. Things that you are trying to hide from me" I pointed at the crimson book in her hand, the one of the battle against the Oceanids that she had closed "Finish showing that truth that I do not want to see."
"You've got me. I shouldn't have tried to finish this so quickly." The woman sighed and opened the book, showing the continuation of the battle, how Allen painfully broke his transformation and how he ended using all his strength and almost sacrificing to protect the cathedral.
"I knew it. Not all your truth is painful" I smiled "He might be a little greedy and self-centered, someone who would do anything to accomplish his purpose, but aren't we all the same? He simply is someone that dares to go to such extremes. He had caused some damage to accomplish his objectives, but he had always tried to amend them, protecting the city from Stormterror and even healing it. Even now, he is fighting to protect me."
"He might have some reasons and not be so bad, but he might even be able to leave this situation on his own. And over all, that doesn't change that he had always lied to you, pretending to be who he was not."
"And what's wrong with that?" I blinked innocently "I myself live within a lie. I am Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung and I have the strength to keep living such a lie! So what if he was lying? Do you know? I loved our lie the most and enjoyed every moment of it!"
"Do you realize your contradiction?" The woman stated "Accepting me, my truth, will destroy your precious lie!"
"I know" I nodded calmly "But rather than ending it abruptly now with our death, I want to continue it. Truth or lie, it does not matter, I want to continue writing our story..." I smiled radiantly. I was completely decided and nothing will change it. "...even if I am not myself."
Could Allen save himself by transforming into Columbina? Is he able to do it when he wants? Was he hiding his true strength? I had a lot of questions, but my final answer had already been made. "I will save Allen!"
"As you wish" The woman snapped her fingers sending a crimson and black book with a raven on its cover toward me. Catching it, new information flowed in my mind, instantly knowing what I must do.
"It's my turn again" The woman stated sadly and she stood up from her throne causing the scarlet gate to crack all around as it started crumbling.
"Yes" I smiled with melancholy as I looked around at the other side of the crimson door as I opened the book, a crimson light surging from it and swallowing me.
...
As I opened my eyes, I found myself again in the domain. The time seemed to be frozen and I could clearly see the projectiles coming toward us with Allen in front of me.
"I'll save you" I approached Allen, approaching our faces together, giving him a light kiss on his lips "Goodbye, Allen."
I smiled and returned to my previous position as I put my hand over my eyepatch "Break my restraints and unleash my true strength!" I took it out, revealing a black eye devoid of anything.
"Say my name" Oz appeared in front of me extending his wings.
'But Oz was never his true name. A simple one created by a little princess. His true name, the last piece to unleash his power and break the seal' "Munin!"
The raven shined brightly with dark azure light and charged directly toward my left eye, new memories flowing over my mind, affecting my own self that seemed to be drowned in that torrent.
'Goodbye, Fischl'