Love Ruins You

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***

Yesterday night.

While Yomite was busy teaching Hu Tao some respect, or rather, beating some respect into her, other members of his party had a life of their own as well...

In the girls' room...

Iris was fast asleep, while Barbara went to take a shower. The only other person awake in the room was Lumine who also currently lay down on her bed, gazing at the ceiling with Paimon relaxing on her arms in a comfortable but unsolicitous manner.

A string of saliva ran down Paimon's chin, dropping silently onto Lumine's arm as she slept peacefully.

Lumine smiled wryly and wiped it away with a handkerchief before resuming her previous fun activity of staring at the white ceiling.

At this point, more than a friend, Paimon was like her child. She was used to take care of her as if she were one at least.

Lumine wondered whether she would ever have a kid of her own in her long life. But even if she did, with whom?

Perhaps not, considering the nature of her issue with wishing for mortality.

*Sigh*

"What are you so hung up about?" Barbara suddenly asked, once she emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam.

"It's.... nothing important...I'm really tired lately..." she lied, folding her legs beneath her.

"..."

Barbara sighed as she walked past her without saying anything else, wearing only a towel wrapped snugly around her waist.

Once she sat down on her bed, Barbara glanced at Lumine one more time before saying, "You should talk with Yum-Yum if you're feeling down. I've noticed it before, but you seem to be very distant from everyone in this party, although I'm unsure why that is. That being said, I only joined recently so I might be wrong."

"...I'm just...not a social person...so talking is very difficult...in fact..."

Lumine paused briefly to reflect on what she planned to say next. Then she just blurted it out,

"...I'm weak. I get sad easily sometimes...thus I like keeping my distance from people. They will notice, thinking I must feel threatened by them...I'm a nuisance...I don't want them to worry about me. I want to deal with my problems myself."

Immediately, Lumine felt anxious upon speaking about these personal matters.

Having been relying on her brother for most of her life, Lumine lacked experience in dealing with pretty much everything, and she was doing the same exact thing with Yomite.

She kept on relying on him, without even knowing why.

Maybe she was unable to grow emotionally?

Maybe she was actually afraid that she'd end up alone again?

Or maybe she just still needed someone to rely on?

Either way, she had to become strong herself to make sure she wouldn't be a bother to anyone anymore.

To accomplish that goal, she was even more determined to do whatever it took...

"...Oh."

Barbara nodded while digesting the explanation.

Now that Lumine finished, Barbara didn't know how to respond further.

After taking another look at Lumine sitting on her bed, Barbara got off her bed and then proceeded to sit beside her.

Just two souls seemingly seeking a connection between themselves, not hearing each others thoughts but merely sharing silence.

"...Is that all?" Barbara voiced, straightening herself and then peering back at the anxious Lumine.

"I don't believe anyone thinks you're a nuisance. I've been here for a few days with you all, yet I've never heard anything negative about you." Barbara replied rather directly, provoking another brief silence.

...

..

.

"...That can't be true. It's my own fault. I don't come off as friendly or loving towards people...and in return, people treat me poorly as a result...I just want to get stronger and find my brother..."

A wave of sadness washed over her from inside. After trying everything possible, she couldn't find him.

Yet after joining Yomite's party, they got a lead about him relatively quickly. Did that mean she was failure that wasn't able to do anything without receiving anyone's aid?

Was she supposed to stay a passive participant forever and get all of her problems taken care of by him, as if she didn't have the strength and courage to stand on her own?

She suddenly felt that feeling of disappointment once again, causing her mood to sour.

Even worse was the pity Yomite showed.

She was a complete stranger to him, yet he let her join the party, fed her, gave her a place to stay without asking much as a compensation and helped her at any turn...

All she had to do was fight the monsters for him...

He treated her like family, as if she was already someone close to him.

And just like that...

With little to no reluctance, she had let him into her heart and lost herself there.

Those pleasant feelings were blooming somewhere within her chest for the first time ever.

"Say...Barbara...why do you like him?"

Lumine felt awkward once again upon realizing that she blurted those words out as she looked over at the girl sitting beside her.

Barbara paused for a second and put her finger on her chin, closing her eyes.

"That's an easy question...Do you need a reason to like someone?"

"Eh? So you don't have one?'

"I never said that. I have plenty. It's just, love happens and it simply does. I realized it not too long ago and I made sure he understood my signs even if he were to reject me. You can't hold it in, it will ruin you."

"..."

With that, it was quiet and Barbara returned to her bed.