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Genshin Impact, Breezing Through Teyvat

A man who used to review novels dies in an elevator accident and is sent to the world of Teyvat [Genshin Impact] to live his life the way he wants. What will happen when an unknown being like him enters the world of Teyvat? Will the Archons hunt him, or will he hunt them instead? *** Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Genshin Impact nor its characters. My only character is the main OC Yomite Hissha. Covers are also used randomly either from other artists or drawn by myself. So the credit goes to them. My discord server: https://discord.gg/qpDTvSj3TC Please support my Patreon for more releases and faster upload. If it goes well I am thinking of quitting my job and focus fully on writing. That would be nice as my job is really annoying. https://patreon.com/StickSwinger This story is my first wish fulfillment. It will be a little different from Genshin Impact's story, since the game is updated so often and things are added or changed. Currently it's patch 2.3 and I have been playing the game since it came out. So I am following the story closely, but... It will not always be the same story. I'll do my best to get as close to the original as possible with my writing skills. I will primarily focus on adding new things as well. The romance will be slow, but we will get there. Smut is out around chapters 120, mostly to develop romance before going into it. Harem will be expanding, but at a decent rate... I want to develop the characters first before I undergo another harem expansion.

Stick_Swinger · Video Games
Not enough ratings
360 Chs

Annoying Puns...

"You're so much prettier, Director. I almost didn't recognize you right away."

"Eheheh! Is that so~?" Hu Tao smiled widely, "What can I say, what can I say...This Honorary Director has climbed the steps to adulthood and fully matured!"

The ferrylady nodded swiftly before glancing at the man, whose shoulders Hu Tao was sitting on, and the rather large group of women behind him.

She seemed to figure out something immediately.

"Director, I see you've entered a harem. Congratulations. I always wondered where you've been all this time. Turns out you were just enjoying yourself and escaping responsibilities..."

Her voice was rather monotone. She sounded as though she didn't really care one way or another, but she seemed thankful to be able to talk to someone after so long without anyone saying a word about anything besides work.

"That's right! This is my dear Assistant whom I really love and these are my friends!" Hu Tao waved proudly.

"I see, welcome then." The ferrylady nodded again.

As expected, it came unnatural for Hu Tao to mention the word 'friends' out of nowhere.

People normally kept a sort of distance from the little Director, as she was often the sole object of some dislike.

But seeing how many people were with her, and didn't deny her words, now filled the ferrylady with an overwhelming sense of happiness that someone, somewhere, had finally seen the truth and didn't trust the rumors and truly cherished her despite what everyone else said about her...

"Excuse me." Yomite broke the silence as he and the surrounding girls approached the ferrylady.

"Can we pass, now that you know we aren't evil entities or something? We would like to enter." he informed the ferrylady clearly and patiently, attempting to sound extremely polite in his request for her blessing.

The ferrylady narrowed her eyes momentarily before raising a finger into the air.

"Please wait outside a bit. I shall gather a small surprise welcome first."

The ferrylady bowed and went inside.

(Is it truly a surprise if we're aware of it...?)

Soon after, staff members from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor all came to the sides to greet the Director with bows.

"Welcome back, Director."

"Greetings, Director."

"May life and death be with you, Director."

The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor undertakers all said this greeting in unison and exchanged bows and courtesies.

"Mhm! I'm back in business! I'm glad this place is more lively than ever!"

After having gathered themselves and stood up from the corners they had occupied in the back, the undertakers resumed their job and made their way to take position at the front entrance of the Mansion, preparing a coffin for transportation as they carried it away.

"Uwaaah... they're carrying a dead person in there...scary..." Paimon muttered under her breath.

"Paimon, we're fighting scary monsters every day...why are you only scared of dead people and ghosts?" Lumine wondered aloud.

"But, but, but! You can't fight with ghosts unless you're an exorcist! Normal attacks don't work on them at all! And dead people are scary because they won't die if they're ever turned into a Zombie! Unlike living people! That is indisputable!" Paimon added, somehow making sense and being quite ridiculous simultaneously.

Barbara giggled hearing her response, "Paimon is a scaredy cat~!"

Iris frowned, "Can't you just eat them?"

"Paimon won't be eating any spirits! Ptui!"

"Paimon, Thou shalt noth fear death nor apparitions, thou shalt respect them." Fischl murmured solemnly.

"Very profound thing you have discovered there, Fishy-Fishy. It is as you've said. Remember... no matter where, no matter when, no matter what the reason...one should never poke fun at death. Only once you know and respect death can you truly understand the value of life."

A profound statement that made all of them ponder for several seconds, much longer than Hu Tao was willing to actually give them.

She smiled sadly, and drummed on top of Yomite's head to dismiss the conversation.

She clearly didn't wish to ruin her day or trouble her friends with philosophy.

Yomite knew Hu Tao must have seen some disturbing stuff in her life at multiple occasions, otherwise she wouldn't have this cheerful disposition.

It was usually the most cheerful one's who suffered the most and experienced the worst fate.

It was hidden within the happy smile, so people always thought the person was fine, but underneath all that surface of optimism, lay the inevitable misery and suffering. An individual that went through traumatic experiences first.

After passing through the torment of their lives, they'd begin to accept everything going on around them and smile not to worry others; they'd treat it so well and contentedly, along with smiling warmly at everyone, like they were trying to stop some heavy doom from materializing.

But Hu Tao's currently smile, was more radiant than ever. She was truly happy to meet so many amazing people in such impossibly big world and she was grateful for it!

As they were about to enter the Mansion, Yomite noticed a wooden bulletin board near the entrance with a few blank wooden tiles hanging from it.

He walked towards it and flipped one of the tiles to the other side, revealing a hint of written writing. It read: [...Buy one coffin and get one free for the holder of this tile!]

"..."

Yomite looked up at Hu Tao with an annoyed face, seeing her grin widen, apparently, it seemed like she was the one who made them.

"Go on, go on! Flip them! They are all masterpieces of a writing!"

Yomite gave her the benefit of the doubt and flicked over another tile, which showed another text. This, however, proved to be dumber than the one before...

[Ohohoh! Dear customer! You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!! The holder of this tile gets 20% off for the upcoming coffin purchase!]

[What did one casket say to the other casket? Is that you COFFIN!?? The holder of this tile gets 40% off for the upcoming coffin purchase!]

[People from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor really seem to like caskets...They are literally DYING to get in!!! The holder of this tile gets...eh...gets to pull once more!]

"Trash."

Yomite threw the tiles aside.

"Eeeeeeh!?? What do you mean by that!? I think it's funny!" Hu Tao cried out, furious, and squeezed his neck with her thighs tighter, an obvious habit that was developing more frequently after she got used to sitting on top of him.