Dropped In favor of Actual stories

[Narrator POV]

It was january 11th, 2016 and 'Hikigaya Hachiman' had been sent by the hellsing organization to find out why Japanese teenagers were disappearing after supposedly being hit by a truck. The 'truck' left no bodies, no blood, and the 'truck' would disappear without being seen as soon as it wasn't observed.

'Hikigaya Hachiman' was walking through intersections while not paying attension, when all of a sudden a truck decided to appear from the ether. with 'Hichigya Hachiman's' limited Omniscience, due to being a fuckmothering vampire 'Hichigaya Hachiman' knew that the thing he was looking for took the bait.

With a savage grin, 'Hikigaya Hachiman' allowed the truck to run over him.

---

Arch-Devil Afusadfi Varsel Von Figguka Del Fiendish Norighto Don Capeche Nor Dule, was having a good day. He had just caught another fish, He looked at the poor idiot who was about to make the mistake of wishing for power when offered. One should know, even responding to an Arch-Devil or doing him a 'favor' by following any instruction given, would allow for a seed of corruption to enter even the most righteous of souls. Taking power from an Arch-devil however, even if offered seemingly without strings, would allow an arch-devil to take back all power given to them, even if it has grown over time. Arch-devils should never give out powers that can rival theirs, as that is a good way of getting killed when attempting to take back power.

"Hello, Hachiman-kun, please take a seat." 'Hikigaya Hachiman', instead of being suspicious and sarcastically pessimistic like his file suggested he would, simply grinned, and sat down. Hmm, maybe this version of Hachiman was a fan of isekai.

Check.

All the better to trick him into making a wish.

"I am Dule, God of Reincarnation. You get one wish, It must be for a power in fiction, and then I will send you to the next life." I told him.

The voice that left Hachiman, was not the voice he was expecting. It was deep and menacing.

"I want..." The non-existent hair on the back 'Dule's' neck stood up and he felt something he hadn't felt in many centuries.

fear.

"TO DRINK YOU! YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF AN ARCH-FUCKWIT" 'Hikigaya Hachiman' shouted, as his form began to ripple. His body transformed to be much taller, wind picked up in the void between worlds, which should be impossible. the chair fell over, revealing that the persion in the chair never sat down and was just squatting in the sitting position above the chair slightly. suddenly instead of Hikigaya Hachiman, there stood Alucard. Wearing his iconic Red hat and trench coat.

It was then that Dule knew he fucked up.

---

shadows darker than the void, filled with eyes spread from Alucard's feet and started climbing up the stunned arch-devil's body. Despite his immense power, the arch-devil had almost never used it before other than to trick people into giving him more power. although his power could destroy multiple planets, It meant nothing since he had no idea how to properly use it. The arch-Devil Flailed wildly as he tore open a hole in the void leading to a certain world. He hoped he could sneak away. Before the Arch-devil  could sever his leg and escape, Alucard's soul shadows devoured him "Well that was disappointing. Maybe I should have wished for a 100inch flat-screen. The 70 inch flat-screen i got earlier is getting pretty old and doesn't have 8K video." Alucard shrugged but before he could return to earth and report. He was sucked into the portal leading to who knows where.