4 Amson, 17, "Primed"

"He's one..." I said, tapping my controller violently. "Literally breathe on 'im and we win."

I sat in the darkness of my room, only the light of my flashing TV stopping me from being shrouded in it. The first day of senior year, much to my dismay, was just about the same as all the other years, introduce yourself, grab a syllabus, and it's on to the next class. About all of my classes left me alone, except for the first half of the day, where I was basically strapped to Tora Fletchlin's hip.

"I've got him." Baun said, nonchalantly getting the last kill.

As the victory screen flashed in my face, I thought about my first day. 'Would I really be able to turn over a new leaf for this year?' I thought. Inside, I felt the same as I always had, disinterested, spacey, and admittedly, a bit pissy. I felt no drive to do any better, and I began to doubt whether I could actually commit to the plan I'd obsessed over for so long.

Much to my surprise, I only had a single class, PE, with Baun, and I didn't know how to feel about that. We'd been friends for so long, always had the same class, and life was great. To be honest, he's probably the only reason I have the friends I do now. I don't know if it was just the change from the norm that made me feel this way, but it stuck with me, even as I spoke with him now.

I wondered if he'd felt similarly.

"How you feelin'?" Baun asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" I was caught off guard by the question. "I guess I'm happy we won."

Baun laughed a bit.

"No, not that." He joked. "I mean today-- your first day of senior year."

I hesitated but eventually replied.

"I don't know." I said. "It seemed like a lot of the same shit."

"Oh, really." He sounded mildly surprised. "Why's that."

"I don't know, man." I reiterated. "I... I just didn't feel the drive-- the energy to even think I could do it. The school's still shit, the system's still shit, and I just don't feel like it's worth it anymore."

"Well, the school won't change for you. That's why you've got to make your senior year great. It doesn't matter about the system and whatnot."

Baun queued us up for another match, and I sat there, pausing my brain for a moment to listen. I had to do some rethinking about my plan; I don't know why I expected the school to change. It shouldn't matter, but for some reason, I couldn't agree with myself anymore.

"Anyways, you've got the rest of the year to think about your plan." He continued. "It's just the first day, so for now, I think we should discuss this party you're about to throw."

"I thought we were done with this whole party idea." I sighed.

"What gave you that idea?" He scoffed. "Things couldn't be any more in your favor, Am."

Baun stopped the queue, and we both sat in the menu.

"I'm thinking we invite our PE class to the party." He suggested. "That seems like the best and easiest move for you make a name for yourself early on. What do you think about the Friday two weeks from now, the day before your birthday?"

"I still don't know, Baun." I reminded him. "I don't think my parents would ever approve of me throwing one."

"I could help you out on that end." He assured me. "Just trust me, and things'll work out."

I closed my eyes, thinking of any way I could change his mind, but it was futile. I could never change his decision. Still, the obstacle in our way, my parents, wouldn't go away easily, and even Baun's influence on my parents isn't as potent as he assumes.

That I know.

But I couldn't keep sitting at the end of my bed, in my own head like that. I pushed myself off my ass and onto the bed, pulling the covers over myself as I saw Baun queue us into yet another match. I took another deep breath, fixed the controller in my hands, and pursed my lips, ready to speak.

"Fine."

///

The next few days were typical but definitely different from the first. Teachers were prepared for material, and the students were just as prepared for their own, signifying the start of the ongoing battlefield I'd mentioned before. Stupid pranks and useless fights filled the hallways, people digging for dirt on one another. I could never imagine getting my hands dirty like that, and watching the fights wasn't very entertaining, either.

Mainly because none of the contestants knew how to fight.

I'm not insinuating I'm some professional, but compared to the actual big leagues, these guys typically looked like they were either dancing or mating. It was usually disgusting in one way or another.

Since we shared a lot of classes together, I found myself sticking around Tora, and to my surprise, I started to enjoy the time we spent around each other. She was a kind of hype man, in a sense. She'd always sing my praises regarding middle school, something she'd never done before entering senior year. It was odd, and normally, I'd be annoyed. However, I think I've grown desensitized to it.

We started making conversation, another thing that didn't often happen between us; normally she'd be the only one talking. This time around, though, it was nice having the company, especially given the state of Butcher Cross's opening week.

PE class was always eventful, and with everyone there, I'd be surprised if it wasn't. Nicky was a clown on the field, our comedic relief whether we happened to be winning or losing. Whether it be dodgeball, kickball, or track and field, she never disappointed, and sometimes Baun even joined in on the fun.

Though, he'd always pull his punches to spare her feelings.

Tora, on the other hand, was the ace in the hole for whatever team she happened to be on. Whichever team she was on would have had a severe advantage had Baun not been around to tank her kicks and throws. The epic back and forth between the two never failed to exceed my expectations.

With the basket case, there was no telling. She was often just... well, there. Sometimes even I failed to notice her in the crowd. I think it's safe to say we're alike in that regard, without a proper place in the physical realm.

Sports were never my forte, but I wouldn't say I'm unathletic. For a 6'0 guy, I think I'm about average physique and weight. Just don't ask me to lift anything or run for more than a small sprint. Sports have never truly interested me until now, now that I've got my plan: the three G's, but I've participated, mainly during my rowdy middle school years.

I'd like to think of myself as a sort of crutch. I'm there when you need me, but I'm also a reminder that our team is handicapped. I've caught a few kickballs in my day. I've just got to get another feel for it, then I'll be on my way to challenge the big dogs in the pit, Tora and Baun. Alas, for now, that's but a pipe dream.

"Hey, Grinner!" Our retired drill sergeant PE teacher yelled. "Get the hell out of La la land!"