Chapter 29

"I can't believe you are going to be a mother!" Ayesha said as we were laying on my bed from the hospital.I was still in shock ,it was hard to digest the news .

"Yeah."

"So when did you find a boyfriend and you didn't tell me," she said facing me.

"That's the problem i don't have one," I said facing her.She looked confused until her eyes widened and she gasped.

"No way ,is what I am thinking true?" she asked .

"If what you are thinking is what i am thinking then yes," I said facing the ceiling.

"Oh my word ,what are you going to do?" she asked me .

"I don't know Ayesha I can't even believe the news ,it feels like a dream .I am not ready to be a mom ."

"Uhm don't stress okay ,I noticed that you need to go grocery shopping so let me do that for you," she said ,she was trying to give me space to think but honestly i needed her by my side right now.

"Let's go together I need some fresh air ," I said .

"Are you sure ?"

"Yes."

"If I knew you would be such a baby I wouldn't have agreed to go shopping with you ," Ayesha said trying to get me away from her as I was hugging her from behind as we walked.

"Ayesha I need your love and support please don't push me away,"I said pouting.

"I am not pushing you away you are slowing me down ," She said ,she pulled me forward and made me hug her from the side as she wrapped her hand around me while she pushed the trolley forward.

"If only you hired a personal guard and some maids maybe we could be hugging and smooching each other but since someone doesn't want all that she opts to slow me down and won't allow me to do some shopping like a normal person,"Ayesha said .

"We are not normal and i do have a personal driver and guard ," I said fighting back .

"Who you only need when running errands or going to work sometimes ," She said.

"Please stop fighting with me ," I said sulking.

"Okay i won't let's get a lot of veggies ,you need to now be extra healthy," she said .

"Let's get junk ,I need to drown my sorrows since alcohol is not an option,"I said.

"No junk," she said .

"Yes junk," I insisted.

We finished shopping and as we were leaving the shopping centre some people were taking pictures ,we managed to get back to my apartment .My apartment was security tight no one who was from the outside was allowed to enter ,and if you were visiting you would only be allowed to enter with proper identification and my secret pin code that changes every time someone wants to use it,meaning it's a different code .So i didn't have to worry about security at home ,I loved my apartment it was peaceful and not noisy .

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know quite yet i am going to sleep on it then maybe after sometime when everything has sunk in I will see what to do ."

"Okay just know that you don't have to deal with this alone ,this is our baby ,"she said as she hugged me and kissed my forehead.

"I know and I am grateful," I said .

I was at my doctor's office ,she had summoned me saying it was something important .She walked in carrying a file and looking exhausted. "Hi," I said .

"Good day Anashe ," she said smiling and sitting down.

"So how's the pregnancy so far ?"

"Not good I feel tired all the time ,my chest hurts most of the time and I undergo oxygen therapy more often ," I said .

NB:I am not a doctor and most of what i will write is based on internet research so if i do say something wrong and not factual please do forgive me ,my apologies.

"Yeah that's what i had sorry called you for ,you know you have cardiomyopathy and During pregnancy, your blood volume increases by 30 to 50 percent to nourish your growing baby, your heart pumps more blood each minute and your heart rate increases. Labor and delivery add to your heart's workload, too. During labor — particularly when you push — you'll have abrupt changes in blood flow and pressure."

"So what does this mean?"

"Anashe you are well aware of the fact that you have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and with the work you used to do like your dance routines and work activities ,your heart has been on a lot of pressure .You being pregnant is putting extra work on your heart and you are at risk of a cardiac arrest during pregnancy ,you might not be able to make it during labour or your child might die in the process .With yesterday's results pertaining to your heart we noticed that your heart is working a lot which is a little different for most women with your condition and pregnant ,I will be working alongside your gynaecologist to ensure your safety along with your child ," she said.

"So what you mean is that my heart can't handle all this ,from now on my life is at risk including my baby's and that there will come a chance where i have to choose between my life or my child's life?"

"Yes Anashe ,your heart walls have been thickening and they will become stiff and in that instance you might need a heart transplant ,you just need to ensure that your child is not in distress and okay ."

"I might die ,"I said .

"Not necessarily Anashe you might live and your child too."

"All this leads to one thing someone dying ,definitely my child will not die ,we will do everything possible to ensure that my child doesn't die .I don't want the baby to pay for my sins ,"I said as tears left my eyes as i cried ,I was afraid ,anxious and confused.

"Anashe please calm down don't put so much stress on your child ,this are just some risk factors i am pointing out ,some research showed that chances of maternal death are at 2% and some other risk factors are not higher than 50%," she said trying to convince me .

"I will schedule a gynaecology appointment for you to see the state of the baby then we can see all the risks you are at and try to find treatment and ways to avoid any fatal results,don't think too much about it and avoid stressing ,I needed to tell you this as your doctor and help weigh the dangers of your pregnancy due to your heart condition.I don't want to lie this pregnancy can be fatal for you and your child be prepared for the worst,"she said as she handed me some pamphlets with information about my heart condition and risk factors .

I got home and just spent my day thinking about my pregnancy and my next steps , I was afraid to be honest .I didn't want to die nor did i want my child to die .I tried so hard not to cry but the tears just couldn't stop .

"Dear God ,I am here to thank you for everything you have done for me all this while .I am grateful for everything you have given me but God please help me .Help me in finding answers and protect my child ,i have already lost one please don't let me lose this one too ,"I prayed silently .

As my appointment was weeks away I tried to focus on finishing my designs and sending them and also did some work .I had to try and do a lot of things to keep my brain busy and distracted , my appointment came along .

"Well there is a strong heartbeat -wait not one but,but two strong heart beats," my gynaecologist said .

"Look there, you are pregnant with twins ," she said .

"What?!" I asked shocked.

"She is carrying twins ?" My heart doctor asked surprised too.

"Yes look at that, two little angels," the gynaecologist said smiling and pointing to the screen .

"Twins ,I am carrying twins ,look at them .Their heart beat is so strong ," I said with tears in my eyes.

"But that's not good ,She has cardiomyopathy and two babies is putting her on fatal risk," my heart doctor said.

"She has cardiomyopathy and pregnant with twins?" the gynae asked surprised.

"Yes ,that explains the amount of distress your body is in."

"The babies look healthy for now but they might be at risk as the pregnancy progresses,it's either her or the babies," the gynae said .

"What??!"

"Anashe as I said your heart is not fit for pregnancy we might have risked it all with one baby but two is a complete disaster we will be threading on ice and chances of you as the mother making it through birth is less than 10% or probably worse case scenario 2-5%."

"Doctors all I know is that no matter what happens my children need to live ," I said .

"But-"

"No matter what happens they need to live ."