Chapter 17: A Little Separation

I woke up to an empty bed and figured Nathan was probably in the living room or something. After a few minutes of lying in bed, I decided to join him. When I got out there I saw Morgan and Nick, they spent the night here.

There were no other couch cushions available so I approached Nathan and sat in his lap. "Morning love." he said. I leaned my head on his chest, "Good morning my thief." He ran his fingers through his hair, "Um, love?". I looked up at him, "Yes?" He smirked, "You're only wearing a T-shirt and boxers." Confused I said, "So?" He gestured to his right, "And Nick is here." I sat there for a minute before I realised the problem. "Fuck!" I jumped off his lap and ran back to the room to put on a pair of pants.

Once fully dressed, I headed back to Nathan's lap. I looked over at Nick, "Um, sorry." He laughed, "It's all good." Morgan shook her head, "Only my sister." I rolled my eyes, "So, what's on the agenda for today?" Nick spoke up, "We're all gonna dye our hair lime green." I grabbed my hair in absolute disgust. "Nick, shut the fuck up." Nathan snapped. Morgan and I looked at each other for a moment while our boyfriends did their usual bickering.

"Nathan." I said. He continued arguing. "Nathan." I tried again, but be kept arguing. Finally I grabbed the sides of his face and forced him to look at me. His eyes were wide, I didn't usually do that. "I am not in the mood to listen to you guys fight all day." I said firmly. "Sorry love." I moved my hands, "Apology accepted. Now, I'll ask again. What is on the agenda for today?" "Horror movies?" Morgan suggested. I shrugged, "Works for me." I left once again to go find some movies.

We watched movies most of the day before Morgan and Nick left. "I'm gonna go for a ride, love. Would you like to come?" I looked up from my book, "Nah, I'm gonna stay and read a little." Nathan left and I continued to read. After awhile, a wave of depression started to hit me.

I'm a terrible person. What makes me think I deserve anything I have. A homicidal bitch like me doesn't deserve anything good. I don't deserve Nathan. I'm never enough either, everyone says I am, but I'm not. I feel so lost and tired.

By this point tears were streaming down my face, uncontrollably. I just couldn't stop thinking the same things over and over again. A bunch of depressing thoughts kept stinging my mind over and over, like wasps.

I heard the door open and I looked up to see Nathan. "Renée?! Love, what's wrong?" He tried wrapping me in his arms, but I pushed him away. "No, I don't deserve you! I don't deserve anything! I'm a horrible person! You shouldn't love me! No one should!" He looked absolutely baffled. "Where is this all coming from, love? Of course you deserve me. Of course you deserve my love. You deserve the world." I shook my head, "No, I don't. So, I think I'm gonna leave. Go up north for a little while." He looked at me like I was crazy, he never looks at me like I'm crazy. "What? No, Renée don't leave." he pleaded. "Sorry, Nathan. I've gotta get out of here for a while."

"Where are you gonna go? How long are you gonna be gone? W-what does this mean for us?" he shot questions at me. "I'm going home to Minnesota, I'll probably be there for two weeks. I love you Nathan, nothing is gonna change for us. I just need to leave for a little while." I said. He nodded, "Okay. I get it. I love you too, and when you're ready to come home I'll be waiting with open arms." He gave me a hug and then I packed my bags, hopped in my truck, and started driving to Minnesota.