12

August pov

We all want to play that game. The game of running from people we fear that we would get our hearts broken.

We play this game to ourselves and somehow things between me and Noah went down through that phase. After that night we stopped meeting each other and eventually I started  getting use to not seeing him around anymore. We were more distant after that little heated incident and somewhere deep down I knew it was best for me and coincidentally somewhere deep down sensibility hit him too.

I was as usual headed to my class.

I got my stuffs from the locker. Lisa and I decided to hangout after class today and somehow finally I could share my chest out.

It's been a week since I have seen Noah around but, if he want to play the distant card I could do better. I am done chasing after him and being the only person who feels for him.

I let out a sigh and dug my head into my hoodie and walked passed the dozen of students. It was not long before the class ended and funny thing was during lunch Noah was  back again with another girl with short hair and curvy hour glass figure. She looked like the cheerleader captain.

I pretended not to notice when it hurt. It hurt real good and yes the kisses they shared gave me this twirling unpleasant pain. It was excruciating.

I was weak and I know I couldn't do anything but be a prop in their little story. I was all over pissed, sad and depressed. I was like a girl going through her PMs and everything irritated me.

It was right after class I met up with Lisa who drove all the way to her house so that we could hang out. She was my only ray of light and support at the moment. She kept giving me glances of concern and it made me more fiddled as she drove.

"So what the hell happen? Are you going to speak or not? ". Lisa finally broke the silence when we got to her room and I was getting comfortable on her bed.

I explained and narrated to her everything which only earned me gain weird glances of mixed emotions.

After telling her everything like a girl I was gossiping. She sigh and said " I think there are times you just gotta let go and move on".

I gave her an unconfident nodd. "Well I am not telling you to move on but you know keep space and give your heart a rest".she poked at my chest.

" Gosh this is exhausting". I said while resting myself on the bed. "Well it's going to be exhausting after all.. We all gotta fight for what we want". That words clicked me. Lisa always had the right things to say to me and it feels good to talk with her.

I hugged her tight and giggled " Your my girlfriend ". And she laughs " Of course I am".

She was true we all have to fight for what we want and what I want was to actually search myself and be free, be invested in someone who would really want me and not go on having existential crisis while doing every girl that comes on the way.

Noah don't want me. I won't want him too.

He want to ignore all those shits so let it be.

No one plays me but myself. I am my own Trump card.