Staying up Late with my Childhood Friend

"Alright, here."

"O-oh, thanks."

It's lunchtime and as usual I'm in the multi-purpose classroom eating Rin's homemade bento. However, compared to all the other times, I feel more tense.

"Why is your voice so shrill today?"

"You can sense that?"

"Well yeah, I'm your childhood friend after all."

Having said that, Rin snuggles her body right up against my left arm. She's doing it like it's the most natural thing in the world.

...

Yep, that's why my voice is so shrill today. The distance Rin is putting between us is basically zero. Last week, there was a fist length distance between us, but now...

"Something wrong?"

"No..."

Rin is giving me a look as if she's telling me she's doing nothing wrong. I am at a loss for words. Jabbing back at her would be something I would normally do, but I bite my tongue and stop myself from retorting back.

"Time to dig in..."

I put my hands together as I do my best to feign a sense normalcy. As I reach towards the food with my chopsticks, I feel her body heat and her familiar scent. Today's bento is decorated with all my favorite foods, but for some reason I can't taste anything.

________________

After we finished eating, we ended up not speaking at all, which is rare. The refreshing spring breeze streams in through the open window, as I gently stroke her cheek. Those rushing winds fill up my eardrum, as I spend my daily life at school like this. Rin is right up and snug against my body, like some lost kitten who got reunited with their parents.

With Rin like this, I could feel our distance getting ever so closer. Well, it was more like I didn't know before, but lately I've been noticing changes in Rin's actions. This is just another example of that.

I love Rin and I'm sure Rin loves me back. Having realized that, it feels like something has changed inside of me. I might have changed, but I still haven't vocalized my thoughts at all yet.

As I'm thinking about all of this, I feel my eyelids start to get heavy. I guess it's common to get drowsy after eating. But more importantly, the lingering sensation of warmth and the pleasant scent coming from the person I love is calming me down even more. It's the sense of security you get when you wear a comfy pair of pajamas.

"You're such a sleepyhead today, aren't you?"

I hear Rin say that.

"Haha, you know me so well."

"Of course, I'm your childhood friend."

Rin repeats that phrase again. I find myself opening my mouth.

"Yesterday, I stayed up late."

The sense of security that was there is now gone and replaced with a sense of embarrassment.

"I see, you're such a bad boy."

"Staying up late suddenly makes me a bad boy?"

"What were you even doing? Cosplaying as an Australopithecus cosplay and wandering the streets every night?"

"Cosplaying an Australopithecus would basically mean I would be naked."

"I didn't know Tohru-kun was such a pervert. That's such a shame, Well it's not too late, we can turn ourselves in together."

"I haven't even taken a step outside my house and I'm already labelled a criminal. I'm not sure how to feel about this at all."

"Well, you ruined your entire life with one action."

"Well, of course."

Because of our back and forth, Rin starts laughing. Her cute smile leaves her face after a moment as she asks me something else.

"Were you writing?"

"Yeah."

The mood in the room gets all awkward.

"I see..."

Her voice is less sharp than usual.

"Don't overwork yourself, okay?"

She's worried about me. My love for her starts overflowing even more.

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Gently, I start stroking her face. Rin closes her eyes as she's taking it all in. From my chest, feelings of guilt and regret start gushing out.