CH.3 - Dear Diary

A few years later...

I take the last couple of bites of my scrambled eggs I had made myself for breakfast, and throw away my paper plate and drop my fork into the sink. I grab my glass of tea and drink the rest of it. "Oh c**p!" I exclaim. "I forgot to take my insulin." I mumble as I grab my insulin pump from my pocket and start counting up my carbs. I put the carb count into my pump and it pumps my insulin. I look at the time on my pump screen. "Hmmm? That cat be the right time.... Oh, right I forgot I need to set it forward." I say under my breath. I grab my cell phone from the living room and open the home screen. I pull my insulin pump back out of my pocket and press the key to unlock the screen. Suddenly my cell phone starts ringing loudly scaring the living daylights out of me, nearly making me cling to the ceiling. I calm my heart and look at the screen. It's Mike on a video call. I quickly run my fingers through my hair to make sure it looks somewhat decent and accept his video request. "Hey babe!" I say. "Heeey." Mike says as sexily as he possibly can. "Good morning. Did you sleep good last night?" I ask. "I always sleep well when I dream about you." He slyly says as he raises one eyebrow. "Awww. You dreamt about me last night?" I ask as I slightly blush. "Yup.... I still have the proof too. You want to see?" He says with a smirk. I reply "Maaaybeeee...." as a smile appears on my face and I blush a little harder. He pans his cellphone camera down revealing his large throbbing c**k. "Ooooo!" I sexily exclaim. "Screw scrambled eggs I want that sausage for breakfast!" I say in a desperate, longing tone. "Mmmmm.... How bad do you want it?" He asks very obviously aroused. I sensually whine "I want it so bad..." as I sexually lick the tip of my finger. "Please give it to me!" I moan as I grasp my breast firmly. He begins to stroke his hardened member. "You want this?" He asks in a tempting voice. "Yes! Please give it to me... I want it so bad." I moan. "How about you show me how badly you want it." He says as he continues to stroke his c**k. "Give me just a sec. I'll be right back." I say. as I walk into my bedroom. "Okay." He replies. I set my cellphone on my mattress on the floor. I quickly walk into the living room and start franticly looking through my boxes. "Where is it?" I mumble to myself as I open another box. "Well here's my cellphone tripod... I could have sworn I put my dildo in the same box as this. "I quietly think out loud. I franticly search through a few more boxes before I give up looking. I glance down into a box on my way back to my room and see a perfume bottle. "Hmmm... that perfume bottle is somewhat shaped like a p***s... it's a little bit big around though." I think. "Eh... I guess I can give it a try. "I shrug. "I'm back." I say as I walk into my room and attach my cellphone to my tripod. "Heyyy sexy. I take it you still haven't finished unpacking?" He says. "No I haven't. I've only been here sense yesterday." I laugh. "Soooo... does your problem still need fixing?" I say flirtatiously as I wink. "You know it!" He says as he smirks then switches his camera around showing his still erect p***s in his other hand. "Mmmmmm... You know I cant resist your big sexy d**k." I moan. I pull off my pajama pants and shirt. I adjust the camera in between my legs and start to play with myself through my panties, softly moaning. "Mmmm... You know I love it when you play with yourself through your panties. You must really be wanting it! You are already soaking through your panties!" Mike longingly exclaims. "I want you inside me so badly. I can't wait till' I can save up enough money to move to Oklahoma with you." I sensually whine. "I know babe... some day I'm going to come up there and kill your parents and rescue you so they won't be able to have control over your SSI check." He says. "Mike! Stop saying that!" I yell. "Jokingly saying that is one thing, but saying it almost every time we talk even though I said to stop, and telling you that I love my family, and the only reason my mom has control, legal control, over my SSI check is because I am mentally disabled is a whole other story! I have told you to stop, and that it creeps me out way more than I should have to! No more! That's it! I warned you this was going To happen... We are over!" I yell. "Okay, Fine! Don't come crawling back to me when you get lonely. I'm not going to take you back! I might even get a sex change and become a lesbian.... I've actually thought about it before!" He yells angrily and disconnects the call.

I angrily and heavily breathe as hot tears begin to roll down my face. I toss my cellphone across my bed and quickly stand with a stomp. I pace back and forth a few times and walk into the living room. I roughly search through a box and pull out my journal. A horrible grumble rushes violently through my intestine. I nearly double over in pain as I grab my belly. A wave of nausea floods over me. "F**K! Nooo... not this! this is all I need... Ooohhh." I cry out as I quickly head for the restroom clinching my but cheeks together. I plop down onto the toilet to release the hell within my bowls. After the cannons from my rear seas fire, I lean back and open my journal. the random page that I open it to is from a year and a half ago.

I begin to read - Dear diary, Well I was thinking about ending it all again today. I met some guy online. We started talking about our struggle with our mental health. Hes got high functioning autism and a few other things. He convinced me that I shouldn't kill myself, to at least wait a day or two before I do try. Which I usually do anyway because my suicidal thoughts usually go away the next day but sometimes I don't think about that because I act on impulse sometimes. Anyways we are friends now. His name is Mike. - A little further down the page it reads - Dear diary, It's been a while... A lot of people journal every day, I guess I need to do better. Buuuut... Mike told me he likes me today!!! I like him too! I think I'm going to give online dating a try. - On the next page from one month ago it read - Dear diary, So yesterday Mike made a joke about coming to rescue me and killing my parents. then today he was talking about it again. I told him I love my family and asked him to not say that anymore. If he doesn't stop I don't think it'll work out between us. -

I skip down a few lines and write today's date then write - Dear diary, You remember last month I mentioned Mike making the whole "kill your parents" joke... Well he didn't stop, so we are through. He said for me not to crawl back to him, and some f*****g crazy s**t about getting a sex change and becoming a lesbian.... So Yeah! No more internet dating for me.-