Chapter 17

Telling Brittany about her plans to have the wedding at Disney world seemed to make everything 100 times easier. In no time at all they found themselves having already worked out décor, food, seating arrangements, and the cake. The only thing left was to send out the wedding invitations and pick dresses. They had of course already been looking for dresses, but they both found this to be somewhat of an insurmountable task. After relentless calls and texts from her mother telling her that she was not taking the dress selection seriously enough, and the constant 'casual' ways Quinn and Elaine were asking whether she had found one yet, Santana finally decided that she was going to just grit her teeth and spend a week dress shopping until she found the right one.

"Okay everyone, rules." Brittany said, walking into their living room where both hers and Santana's mother, Quinn and Elaine were standing. They turned to look at her.

"What do you mean dear?" Susan asked.

"I'm giving you all strict rules to follow, and if you don't, you're disinvited from the wedding."

This announcement was met with laughter, which turned quickly silent at the deadly gaze Brittany was giving them all.

"Brittany be serious" Quinn said, looking around at the women beside her. "You can't disinvite us from the wedding."

"She could disinvite me" Elaine said. "What are the rules Britt?"

"First, no laughing at her today. No laughing at anything she tries on, no teasing her about how she looks, no making jokes about how hard it is to find a dress…I don't care how good of a joke it is or if she seems to be in a good mood."

Maribel and Susan accepted this easily, nodding at Brittany, but Elaine and Quinn gaped at her.

"Brittany…I mean come on!" Elaine said, clearly unable to come up with a reason why this wasn't a rule she could comply with. Quinn was nodding her head feverishly, looking from Elaine to Brittany. "That's a given. We have to. She'll be expecting us to, and it'll be really weird if we don't." Quinn continued to nod, though she didn't say anything, but Brittany was already shaking her head.

"No. Sorry but I don't care. Santana pretends to be tough, but everyone here…well except maybe Elaine….should know that she's really the opposite." Quinn looked uncomfortable as Maribel and Susan looked disapprovingly at her.

"Yeah…" Quinn said slowly, "But we're not….I mean she knows we're only kidding."

"Not with this she won't. She'll pretend she's not bothered, but she really is. I don't know why but this is really getting to her. She's really stressed about finding a dress and it being perfect, and she's taking it really seriously. If you make jokes or stupid snide comments they're going to get stuck in her head and she's never going to be able to pick a dress."

Everyone was quiet for a moment, Quinn and Elaine looked to be in pain, then they looked at Brittany pleadingly again. Before they could speak though, Maribel beat them to it with a question.

"What is it?" She asked Brittany.

Brittany looked at Maribel for a moment, unsure if she wanted to say. She truthfully didn't actually know what was wrong with Santana, but she had a very good guess. Santana had made a lot of progress from when she had been a scared girl in high school, but it had really only been 5 years since she came out, well, since she was forced out and 4 of those years had been spent in the company of people who had known she loved Brittany before she did. There were still very many strong voices in Santana's mind that told her that how she was living her life was not okay, one of which was her abuela's. Brittany had known as soon as it happened that Santana being forced to come out before she was fully ready would have its consequences, and here they were. Santana was not comfortable enough being gay to fully enjoy the prospect of standing up in front of dozens of people in a dress, opposite Brittany, who would also be in a dress. She was struggling with deciding whether to wear a dress at all, and not a pant suit of some kind. If she should she wear white or black, or indeed, some other colour in their chosen scheme. She didn't want to be stereotypical, but she also had no idea what she wanted, and there was no way for her to figure it out because it all made her very uncomfortable think about. In Brittany's opinion, and this was why she hated Finn Hudson so much, Santana had defined her sexuality based on the fact that she was in love with Brittany. She had not had the time to really think about it because she needed to tell everyone something. The easiest thing for her to say was that she was gay, and maybe she was, but she had not, not then and not now, fully accepted this fact, or really even thought about what that meant. She had not adjusted her visions of the future properly and now she was faced with the wedding day she had been fantasising about since she was a little girl, for the first time facing the reality. She would be standing up in front of everyone she cared about with another girl, and though there was no one but Brittany she would ever want to marry, she could not make the image work in her mind.

"Brittany?" Maribel's voice brought Brittany out of her thoughts.

"I don't know" Brittany said. She decided she didn't want to tell them anything about what she suspected Santana was going through, especially not Maribel. Santana's relationship with her mother had indeed improved significantly since she came out, but they were not close enough for Brittany to divulge the deep inner workings of Santana's mind to her. "And it doesn't really matter right now. What matters is that you guys don't make it worse with stupid jokes."

Quinn looked intently at Brittany as if reading her mind, and then she sighed resolutely and nodded her head.

"Alright. No jokes" she said.

"Great" Brittany said, though her tone remained serious. "Second, no complaining about how long it takes or how picky she is. She can take as long as she wants to because it's her who has to wear it, not any of you, and she has to be comfortable and feel undeniably gorgeous in it." This time Brittany looked sternly at Maribel as well. She knew her soon to be mother in law could get easily agitated, and the last thing she wanted was for her to make Santana feel even worse about her inability to find a dress. Maribel looked questioningly at Brittany, but noticing that Susan was giving her the same look, she gave a sigh similar to the one Quinn had given, and nodded.

"I understand. I want her to find a dress, but I will not rush it."

"Or argue with her about her opinions on a dress you think is 'the one'. If she hates it she hates it and that's it. Don't ask her why. In fact that that's rule number three. No arguing with her."

All four women nodded. Brittany gave them a small smile and then went back to being serious.

"Lastly, I only want positive vibes. She's probably not going to be a lot of fun, but you all have to just keep telling her that she'll find it. You can bring me up as many times as you want to, but don't say anything like 'just imagine how beautiful Brittany's going to look', I don't think that will help. It'll just make her more stressed out."

"No jokes, no complaining, no arguing and constant positivity" Elaine said exasperatedly. "We got it captain."

"Anything else?" Quinn asked sarcastically.

Though Brittany knew Quinn wasn't really looking for an answer, she closed her eyes and thought. She imagined Santana in a dress shop and tried to think of anything that would set her off.

"No…that's it."

"Excellent" Quinn said in a monotone.

"Look I'm serious about this. If you guys mess up and I hear about any broken rules you're seriously not allowed at the wedding. This is serious." Brittany said, looking at each of them in turn.

"So it's serious then?" Elaine asked, looking at Quinn. Quinn smiled, about to laugh, but stopped abruptly as Brittany took several quick steps and stopped inches from Elaine. She had gone a shade of red that was frightening and her hands were balled into fists. "Woah" Elaine said in a whisper, her eyes widening in alarm.

"Britt" Quinn tried, but it was pointless.

"Listen, you're not as funny as you think you are, but if you want to go on playing a fucking clown you can do it in your own apartment. I'm a nice person but I don't play around when it comes to Santana. If you don't want to follow the rules get the fuck out and don't go with them, I promise you won't be missed. Otherwise, take this seriously" Brittany emphasized the last word, "and keep your jokes to yourself. I don't care if you understand it or not." Maribel and Susan were gaping open mouthed at Brittany, but Quinn was looking wearily from Brittany to Elaine. She didn't like it when Brittany got confrontational because it happened so rarely and always ended badly. She prayed that Elaine would just apologise and they could move on. Santana would be home any moment. She was in no such luck.

Elaine took a small step back and laughed, though it was a nervous one. "Brittany relax will you? You don't need to be overreacting like this. Santana is a big girl and can handle it if I happened to think the dress she's wearing makes her look-"but Elaine could not finish her sentence. Brittany had seized her firmly around the arm and was dragging her to the door with so much force that Elaine could not stay on her feet. She was stumbling and tripping so much that Brittany was basically dragging her across the room.

"Brittany" Susan shrieked, while Maribel's eyes darted quickly from Brittany to Quinn to Susan as if hoping one of them would step in.

"Brittany what the fuck are you doing?" Elaine was yelling. "Get off me. Let me GO!"

Brittany did not let her go however, until she had reached the door. The way she was holding Elaine didn't allow her to open the door properly, so she released her momentarily. Elaine righted herself and glared at Brittany, taking a step towards her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked her, her voice trembling with anger. Brittany glared back at her, still red but shaking now as well.

"I told you to take those jokes to your own apartment, so get out. I won't allow your immature-"

Elaine raised her hand and swung it hard at Brittany. It would have connected with her cheek in a hard slap had Brittany not leaned backwards just in time.

"ELAINE" Quinn yelled, now moving forward quickly, but before she had even taken two step, Brittany had grabbed the hand that Elaine had used to try and slap her and twisted it round in a painful lock. She then pulled Elaine towards her harshly, forcing her around by the hand she was holding and shoved her against the door. Elaine's head hit the door with a loud thud.

"Brittany please" Susan was begging. Quinn was now standing beside Brittany, her hands on her shoulders trying to pull her off Elaine.

"Try and hit me again and see what happens. I dare you."

Elaine was mumbling something against the door, but as her cheek was pressed so strongly against it, it was hard to decipher what it was.

"Britt let her go. Santana's going to be home any second." Quinn was begging. No sooner had the words left her mouth than they heard the sound of keys in the lock. Before Brittany could release Elaine Santana pushed the door open, forcing it even harder into Elaine.

"Fuck" Elaine groaned as Brittany let her go and she stumbled to the ground.

"What the fuck?" Santana asked, opening the door fully and looking around at everyone. The smile on her face fell as her eyes took in Elaine on the floor and then fell on Brittany.

"Britt…what's wrong…" She took a step towards Brittany and then turned back to Elaine.

"What did you do?" Her voice was already low and threatening, and it forced all of the anger out of Brittany as suddenly as it had risen. Quinn was now standing in front of Elaine, having heard the dangerous note in Santana's voice and not wanting the situation to get any worse.

"Santana just relax. Everything is fine."

"Everything isn't fine Quinn" Santana said loudly, moving closer to where Elaine was now getting up from the floor, stretching and bending her arm. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" She yelled at Elaine.

"Santana don't worry about it, I was just proving a point. It's all good. Elaine just isn't coming with you dress shopping today." Brittany had walked back into Santana's line of vision and was speaking calmly, trying to make everything seem as normal as possible. Santana eyed her suspiciously, her eyes narrowed as she frowned slightly, then she adopted a casual expression and crossed her arms.

"Oh okay…is that all then? Alright. Why does my mother look like she's just seen a ghost then?"

Quinn and Brittany turned to look at Maribel who seemed to be jolted from a deep daze and snapped her mouth shut suddenly, looking around at everyone.

"¿Qué? No, nada ... estoy bien" she said hastily.

Santana snorted with malicious laughter and even Brittany had to suppress a laugh. Maribel was still looking white, and her lie had been so bad that Brittany felt it would be a long while before Santana let this go.

Quinn was whispering quietly to Elaine now, and Santana was looking intently at Brittany, trying to read her.

"Susan?" Santana said suddenly, making Brittany's mother jump and let out a small squeak which she tried to cover with a cough.

"Yes dear?" she said, trying but failing to sound casual.

"What happened?" Santana asked simply.

Everyone was quiet. Quinn shaking her head violently from behind Santana, telling Susan not to say anything about what had happened.

"Uhh…I don't know quite honestly Santana. Maribel and I….I mean…I really don't know"

"I'll tell you what happened" Elaine said, stepping away from Quinn. Santana spun around and glared dangerously. Brittany took a step forward, feeling anger rise in her again. If Elaine really told Santana what happened she would kill the woman.

"You're fiancé is no joke" Elaine said, a hint of a smile on her face. "I made a stupid joke when we were having a serious moment that's all. She put me in my place. I for one would like to move on from the embarrassment of it all and let it go."

The room was silent. It seemed everyone was trying to keep as still as possible, scared that the wrong movement would cause Santana to demand more of an explanation. Santana was frowning and squinting so much now that it didn't even look like her eyes were open, but she didn't look away from Elaine. Finally, after several tense minutes she turned to Brittany.

"Tell me the truth Britt" she said in an even voice that was not angry, but was no longer entertaining games. Brittany's heart sank. When Santana used that voice, and looked at her the way she was now, all bets were off. There was no more avoiding it or playing it off. She would have to answer. Brittany looked at Quinn, who was pleading with her eyes, knowing as well as Brittany what would happen when Santana found out that Elaine had tried to slap her. She sighed deeply, preparing herself, but then Santana spoke again. "Are you okay?"

Brittany's eyes widened, shocked by the question. She had not expected Santana to drop the matter so quickly. She smiled at her.

"Santana I'm ok. Like she said, I put her in her place."

Santana smirked at her. "That's my girl" she said, finally closing the distance between them and kissing her. "I'm going to go into our room for a bit and let you guys sort out whatever I walked in on." And she walked off, not even looking at anyone else.

When the door to their bedroom closed it was as though the entire room let out a breath.

"Get out" Quinn said harshly to Elaine.

"Oh my-…are we still on that?" Elaine said in exasperation, as if they were digging up a long forgotten argument. Brittany looked at her mother and Maribel frowning, happy to see that they were as displeased as she was by Elaine's behaviour.

"Are we still on that? Of course we're still on that. You tried to slap Brittany" Quinn said angrily.

"shhhhh…..shut it she'll hear you" Brittany said in a panicked voice. Everyone was quiet again, listening to hear if Santana was coming out of the room. When they were sure she wasn't they resumed talking.

"But I didn't"

"You tried to. What's wrong with you? Are you drunk?"

"Do I look drunk?"

"She's high" Brittany said. She had connected the dots when she had her pinned against the door. Her slap had been slow and lazy, and even as she was trying to push Brittany off, or when Santana had opened the door, her efforts were weak and her reactions slow.

"¿Qué?" Maribel exclaimed loudly. "No you are not! You are not!"

"Mari don't shout. Do you want Santana in here asking more questions?" Brittany chastised. She was getting more anxious the longer they discussed this.

"Sorry Brittany"

"Look guys it's not that big of a deal. Britt I'm sorry I tried to slap you" Elaine whispered the last part conspiratorially. Brittany rolled her eyes, then felt anger rising inside her again at how many times Elaine had made her act so out of character in the last 30 minutes.

"Apologise when you're not high and we'll see. Can you please leave?"

"You're really not going to let me go dress shopping?" Elaine asked incredulously, though there was a ghost of a smile on her face. It was like she was using every ounce of her control to keep from laughing.

Quinn huffed and began trying to pull Elaine to the door, but as she was trying not to hurt her, and Elaine was putting up quite a fight, this proved very difficult.

"Elaine for heaven's sake get out! Just go home and laugh it off with Ethan. We'll talk tomorrow." Quinn sounded like she was on the verge of crying out of frustration.

"Hold on…hold on" Elaine was giggling now, though she was still trying to seem put together. "HOLD ON" she yelled. Quinn dropped her arm and stopped walking.

"What?"

"Let me say bye to Santana at least." Brittany looked at Quinn and shook her head. That wasn't a good idea at all. But the decision was taken out of their hands as they heard the bedroom door open.

Santana walked up to Elaine and punched her hard on her cheek. As Elaine stumbled, bending over and holding her face, Santana seized the back of her shirt and dragged her to the door, flinging it open and throwing Elaine out. "We won't talk about this again when your high wears off and you realise what you did, because I just might kill you, but if you ever" she stopped and bent down so she was closer to Elaine who was sitting on the floor. "Ever! Try to lay even a finger on Brittany, you'll find yourself well acquainted with auntie Snixx." Elaine was not laughing anymore. Santana stood up and walked back into the apartment. "Bye" she said, then she closed the door.

Everyone was staring at her when she turned round to face them.

"I see why you didn't tell me" she said, then she took a deep breath, held it for several seconds then released it slowly, closing her eyes. When she opened them again she looked at Brittany and smiled a tired smile. "Only for you Britt" she said quietly, shaking her head. Then she looked at the other women in the room.

"Alright who's ready to try on some dresses?" she said in forced enthusiasm.

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(Flashback)

When Santana had come back from Coach Sue's office, Brittany had known immediately that something was wrong. And it was not the, 'Coach wants to scrap the whole routine and start again' kind of wrong, because Santana didn't look angry. She looked scared. She had missed half of their English class, and when she had walked in without saying a word, their teacher had asked her where she had been three times before Santana answered a distracted and in Brittany's opinion, feeble, 'Coach Sue called me in'. For the rest of the lesson Brittany watched Santana stare at her desk, unblinking. She didn't make any jokes or mean comments, didn't copy down any notes or the homework, and it took Brittany shoving her twice and nearly shouting her name for her to snap out of it and look up. It was the first time she had looked at Brittany since walking into the room.

"Santana what's wrong?" Brittany asked.

Santana closed her eyes and shook her head, looking like the thought of saying whatever it was out loud was physically hurting her.

"Okay… you don't have to say it…but…" Brittany didn't know what to say. She had never seen Santana like this. Not in all the years she had known her. She looked deeply terrified, a far cry from the tough bitch act she always put on. Brittany's mind was racing with things that could possibly make Santana this way. It couldn't be school or cheerios related, because Santana would wait till she was at home to show any kind of real sadness about that, and even if she didn't she wouldn't be like this. It had to be something personal. "Does it have to do with your parents?" Brittany asked her, scared that she was about to hear that they were dead.

Santana paused, as if thinking, then she shook her head once.

"You're abuela?"

"Not really."

Brittany looked at Santana a little longer, then straightened up, pulling Santana up with her.

"Come on, we can't do this here."

Santana shook her head and Brittany saw tears start to form in her eyes as she slumped back down into her chair.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters. Everyone will…it's going to….he just…" Santana seemed incapable of completing a single thought. Brittany was now becoming scared. She could not think of a single thing that would turn Santana into this sputtering, terrified mess. Well maybe if her parents or abuela were to walk in on them kissing, but otherwise….Brittany looked down at the defeated look in Santana's eyes, the way her body seemed to just hang as though it was all Santana could do not to fall over. It was the only thing….it had to be. There was simply nothing else.

"Do they know?" Brittany asked quietly, lowering herself into the chair beside Santana.

Santana shook her head slowly, her body now shaking with the effort it was taking her to keep from crying. "Not…not…"

"Yet" Brittany finished for her. She felt like her whole body was going numb. This was the very worst thing that could be happening. But how? If they didn't know yet….what was the problem? Was someone else going to tell them? She looked at Santana again, trying to get every ounce of information out of her body language before having to make her talk. It was useless though. Santana's body told her nothing other than that if Brittany didn't get her out of here now, she would have some sort of panic attack or breakdown right there.

"Santana get up. We can't stay here."

Santana just shook her head flatly. It seemed to be costing her a lot of effort to do even that now. She was biting her lips so hard that Brittany feared she was going to break the skin, and her whole body was shaking.

Brittany stood up again and wrapped both her arms around one of Santana's, heaving her onto her feet.

"Britt" Santana's voice was quiet, but it was filled with so much emotion that Brittany nearly burst into tears herself.

"I know Santana. I know but not here. You don't want to do this here. We just need to get to the car, or under the bleachers. Just not here ok?" Brittany took Santana's face between her palms and looked into her eyes. "Listen to me Santana, you can do this. We're going to the car ok?"

Santana nodded her head and took a deep breath. When she exhaled it came out even. She stepped back from Brittany and composed herself. Brittany was slightly scared of how well Santana was able to bottle up everything she was feeling. She looked completely normal, very scary and intimidating, but normal. No one would guess that she was on the verge of a breakdown. Brittany nodded her head and picked up Santana's bag, slinging it over the shoulder that was not carrying her own, and followed Santana out of the class.

They made it down one corridor before they met their first obstacle.

"Hey girls…are you ready to completely rock the mash-up later?" Mercedes said, falling in step with Brittany and looping her arm through Santana's.

"Don't touch me wheezy" Santana said harshly, wrenching her arm free. Mercedes slowed down and frowned at Santana, then look questioningly at Brittany.

"We can't talk Mercedes" Brittany said, pulling Santana away before she went off. She was unstable enough without provocation.

They turned around without saying bye and hurried down the next corridor. A few people tried talking to them on their way, but either the look on Santana's face dissuaded them from trying very hard, or what they wanted to say wasn't important enough to try and catch up with them. Finally they walked out of the school doors and made their way to Santana's car.

The second they were inside the car Santana broke into sobs. As they were in the backseat Brittany pulled Santana as close to her as she could and wrapped her up in her arms. Her whole body was shaking with the force of Santana's crying, but Brittany did not loosen her grip. She felt like if she let her go Santana would just break apart. They weren't sure how long they sat there with Santana crying, but finally Brittany felt her begin to take deep calming breaths. After a while, Santana pulled back from Brittany's neck and wiped her face. Brittany's shirt was wet with Santana's tears and snot, but she really didn't care. She was looking at Santana, waiting for her to speak, completely unsure of what to expect.

"Coach showed me a video…god Britt it's so bad." Santana said. Her voice was coming out in a croak and it was so quiet that Brittany had to strain to hear.

"What video?' Brittany asked gently, after Santana had gone quiet for a long time.

Santana shook her head the way she had done in the classroom, her expression painful.

"Finn and I were going at it a few days ago…"

"Okayy..." Brittany said confused, but wanting to encourage Santana to keep talking.

"I was just teasing him you know…like I have been all week…"

Brittany nodded again.

"And maybe you were right and I was being harsh…but it's still not right. It's not right and it's not fair! He didn't know what he was talking about, it was all bullshit but he had to open his stupid fat mouth because he always thinks he knows everything. He doesn't know anything Brittany! He didn't know Quinn wasn't having his baby, he didn't know Rachel was dating that Jessie kid, he didn't know his mum was dating Kurt's dad, he didn't-"

"Ok Santana…why don't you just tell me what happened after you insulted him." Brittany cut off Santana's ranting. Santana took a deep breath as though this was the last thing in the world that she wanted to do, but continued regardless.

"I was walking away, and he shouted about how I should just come out of the closet, and that I'm just afraid to admit that I…" she hesitated for a fraction of a second, more out of habit than real fear, "love you…and you might not love me back. He said I was a coward."

Brittany stared wide-eyed at Santana. She did not like the direction this story was going in at all. She felt a lot of emotions flooding her at once. Anger, concern, sadness, fear. She wanted to go up to Finn and just smash his head against a locker.

"You're not a coward Santana. You're not anything close to a coward. Like you said, Finn doesn't know anything. He doesn't know anything about you, me or us. I love you, and I know you love me so that's the only thing that matters."

Santana looked gratefully at Brittany, but could not bring herself to smile. As much as she wanted to believe that that was enough, it wasn't. She wished that the only thing she was worried about was that Finn Hudson thought she was a coward. Oh how she wished.

"So what was the video?" Brittany asked. "Someone recorded him saying that?"

Santana shook her head, and a fresh wave of tears streamed from her eyes. These were silent, but they pierced through Brittany's heart just as sharply as loud sobs.

"Someone heard him" she said slowly, her voice was a lifeless monotone. "Salazar Slytherin's niece or something"

Brittany frowned deeply, wondering if she had heard correctly. Wasn't that a Harry Potter character? Or was she confusing names again? She looked at Santana and smiled when she saw the look on her face. She had been kidding.

"That's not his real name but I was too busy concentrating on the video to care what his name was. It sounded like that though."

Brittany nodded in understanding. There was silence again, and the momentary lightness in the air fell heavy again.

"Santana what was the video?" Brittany asked for the third time. This was the important part. This was what had made Santana fall apart. She needed to know.

Santana turned and looked out of the window for a long time. It was so quiet that Brittany heard the sound of the school bell. She wondered vaguely how much time had passed since they left English.

"It's a campaign ad." Santana began. "He's running against Sue and Kurt's dad."

Brittany nodded but didn't interrupt.

"In the ad he says how Sue is supposed to be 'sharing the people's values' but has a lesbian as a head cheerleader."

Brittany gasped and shut her eyes. Santana didn't even need to finish explaining. She wasn't even sure if she wanted her to continue. She felt sick. This could not be happening. This could not be happening! How could this be happening? She had been working so hard to get Santana ready to come out. They were going to tell her parents so soon, and then the glee club. She was almost there, and now she was going to be outed to the entire town. She was going to be outed on television, and painted in a negative light. This was the exact definition of Santana's worst nightmare. She was going to be known as 'the lesbian from the commercial' now, entirely defined by her sexuality. She'd be the poster child for every anti-gay person in the town. Brittany's head was spinning. She now understood why Santana looked close to passing out. It was how she was feeling.

"You're not in it B don't worry" Brittany heard Santana say. She opened her eyes and stared at Santana in disbelief. Did she really think that that was what she was worried about?

"Santana, I wish it was me in it instead. Are you kidding? I don't give a fuck if I'm in the damn video or not. They can't do this. He can't run the ad right? It has to be illegal or something. You're a minor, and it's slander….or libel…I don't know something like that. They can't DO THIS"

Santana just shook her head. She looked utterly defeated.

"They can do whatever they want. Why should it matter how it affects me? I don't matter. I'm just a fucking lesbian."

Brittany had no idea what to say. She was vibrating now she was so angry. This was completely insane. Santana…her Santana, was about to be broadcasted on TV. By Monday morning everyone was going to know that she was a lesbian. Everyone in school, her parents, her abuela, even complete strangers. Everything they had worked towards completely thrown out the window. They sat in silence both of them lost deep in thought. Brittany was holding Santana's hands firmly in her own, though she couldn't remember taking them.

"Santana listen to me…whatever happens, you have me okay? Whatever happens in school, at home, anywhere…you have me. We're going to go through this together." Her voice sounded a lot steadier and surer than she felt, and she was glad. Santana looked up from where she had been staring at their clasped hands and nodded. There was a new look in her eyes that Brittany couldn't really place. She was still clearly scared, still very angry, but the hopeless look had left her and she seemed…resolute.

There was a loud rapping on the window that made both girls jump.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Sugar asked loudly.

Brittany opened the door slightly. "What do you want Sugar?"

"Mrs Corcoran is waiting for you guys. We can't exactly do the mash-up without you"

Brittany sighed and shut the door angrily.

"Hey" Sugar yelled indignantly.

"We're not coming Sugar" Brittany said harshly.

"WHAT!" Sugar was now rapping incessantly on the window. "You have to come. Santana is doing the whole someone like you bit and you-"

"Sugar we're not COMING! FUCK OFF" Brittany yelled, turning round to glare at her. Sugar went white and took a step back, bewildered. She looked between Brittany and Santana for a second, and then ran back into the school.

The car was silent again. Brittany was breathing heavily, feeling the anger at the situation rising inside her, probably triggered by Sugar's appearance.

"Britt" Santana said quietly, rubbing her thumb over Brittany's hand. Brittany looked at her. "We have to go."

"No we don't Santana. Glee club or sectionals or school, none of those things matter at all. We don't have to do anything."

"Britt….we have to. We can't let him take the win from the trouble tones too."

Brittany stared at Santana, wanting nothing less than to go and perform right now, but she understood. They would not let Finn think he won. "Fine let's go."

As they walked into the auditorium a few minutes later Brittany forced herself not to look into the crowd, knowing she would attack Finn if she saw him.

"Santana, if you feel the urge to beat him up" Brittany whispered as their fellow trouble tones and Mrs Corcoran descended upon them, "I'm not going to stop you." Santana smiled weakly at her.

When the performance was over and Santana's slap was ringing through the auditorium, she couldn't help but notice how far away Brittany was standing.

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Brittany had been sitting on the floor of their living room with five different bridal magazines open for almost an hour when there were suddenly urgent knocks on the door. She sighed and got up, rubbing her temples as she walked to the door.

"Emma, Eve?!" she asked in surprise, dropping the hand on her head, her headache momentarily forgotten.

"Hi Brittany" Emma said, walking past her and into the apartment.

"Can we come in?" Eve asked, laughing.

Brittany moved away from the door. "Yes of course, please come in." She closed the door. "Is something wrong?"

"No nothing. Sorry for dropping by so late I know you guys are busy and don't usually get a lot of time to relax." Eve said, taking a seat on one of the chairs by the kitchen island.

"No don't worry about it. What's up?"

"Where's Santana?" Emma asked. She looked very excited about something.

Brittany raised her eyebrows and smiled in amusement. She loved to see Emma worked up. It happened so rarely.

"Uh she's in the shower. She should be out in…" Brittany hesitated. She wasn't actually sure when Santana would be done because she was so unpredictable. Sometimes she took barely ten minutes in the shower and other times she would be in there for close to an hour.

"Could you get her?" Emma asked, not seeming to have noticed Brittany's pause.

"No no that won't be necessary we'll wait" Eve said hastily, casting a disapproving look at Emma.

"Sure I'll get her. It seems important." Brittany was smiling more broadly now, she would have liked to drag this out and watch Emma, but her curiosity was peaked.

"No Brittany you really don't have to. It's not-"

"No Eve relax. I'm sure Santana would be curious to know what brought you guys here at ten PM. I'll be right back with her."

Brittany backed away smiling at both women, and then turned and walked quickly into the bathroom in their room. The door was slightly open and she could see the steam wafting out. She paused by the door listening to Santana singing, then she pushed the door open and rapped on the glass shower door.

"Shit! Britt you scared me" Santana exclaimed, spinning around and clutching her shower gel to her chest.

"Sorry baby" Britt said laughing gently.

"Come to join me?" Santana asked, wiggling her eyebrows seductively. Brittany laughed again.

"Tempting, but I'm afraid not. Emma and Eve are here" Santana frowned and dropped her hands to her sides.

"So?" she turned back around to rinse herself off. "I'm busy, and it's late. Tell them they can wait for me to be done or I'll talk to them tomorrow.

"I think you should come out. It's obviously important because they're both here, didn't call ahead, and it's ten PM."

Santana turned around again, blinking rapidly to keep the water dripping down her face out of her eyes.

"Just come out really quickly and then if it's not important you can come back." Brittany tried to negotiate. Santana frowned and shook her head.

"If I get out now I'm going to lose the groove and then I won't want to come back in."

Brittany slid open the door and reached for Santana's hand, pulling her forward.

"Not even if I'm in here too?" she whispered, kissing Santana's chest. Santana shivered.

"Ok you've convinced me. Let's go and get it over with quickly so we can come back." Santana said enthusiastically, pushing Brittany out of her way and walking into their room. Brittany laughed and shook her head.

"You left the water running Santana" She called, reaching in to turn the water off. Santana said something that she couldn't hear and then appeared in the doorway tying her robe.

"Britt let's go, let's go, let's go."

They walked out of the room hand in hand and when they turned the corner found Eve and Emma standing by the kitchen. Emma looked to be in the middle of pacing the floor.

"Ok I'm here. What is it?" Santana asked curtly. "Hi, how are you?" she added after a reproachful look from Brittany. Eve laughed and looked like she was about to answer, but was cut off by Emma.

"Santana I have amazing news. Prepare yourself because you won't believe what I'm about to tell you."

Brittany and Santana looked at each other.

"Okay. Tell me. What is it?"

"I got a call from Jimmy Kimmel…well not Jimmy Kimmel himself, but you know…his people."

Santana immediately stiffened. She felt her insides tighten suddenly and her breathing had quickened. Brittany tightened her hold on her hand and was looking from Santana to Eve to Emma.

"What?" Santana finally asked. Her voice was quiet and much higher than usual.

Eve smiled at her. "Jimmy Kimmel's people called, and they want to have you on the show. For an interview and a performance." She was speaking slowly as though Santana was a baby, or someone who didn't understand English.

"What?" It was Brittany who asked this time. Santana was staring at Emma, apparently frozen.

"Guys this is Santana's first interview, and it's going to be on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" Emma said, yelling when she got to the name of the show.

Brittany screamed. It was the same ear piercing scream she let out when Santana had told her she had been signed, and it seemed to shake Santana out of the paralysed state she had been in.

"Are you guys serious? I mean…Jimmy Kimmel wants me…Are you serious?" her voice was shaking and she looked like she was about to collapse.

"I'm serious. I am so very serious." Emma said, smiling widely.

"When?" Brittany asked.

"Tomorrow" Eve said, looking warily at Santana.

"WHAT?" Santana exclaimed, taking a step back and looking like Eve had just slapped her. "No you guys are joking. You expect me to go perform on Jimmy Kimmel Live tomorrow?" she began to laugh manically, shaking her head. Brittany too was shocked. Her eyes were wide and try as she might, she could not think of a single thing to say. She wanted to reassure Santana. Tell her that everything would be ok and she would rock it, but she couldn't think of the words. This was not like anything they had done at all. She would be in front of an audience, she would be on TVs all over the world. This was a show for huge celebrities, and though she loved Santana and thought she was just as amazing as any of those celebrities, she was just starting out. The prospect of being interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel with no notice or preparation was daunting and nothing Brittany could say would make it any less so.

"Santana just relax. Take deep breaths and relax" Eve was saying. "It's going to be ok. Emma and I are going to be there and Britt too, right Britt?...Brittany?"

Brittany was startled out of her own thoughts. She looked frantically at Eve and Emma who were both looking at her with worried expressions. Eve nodded to Santana. She had her head tiled upwards and her eyes closed, taking deep breaths.

"Santana…" Brittany started hesitantly. She had no idea what to say. She was freaking out just as badly as Santana was, and she needed time to process the information before she could give her a rousing speech. When Santana didn't turn to look at her, she decided it was for the best and turned instead to Eve and Emma.

"Uhh…why don't you tell us what we have to do? She'll be ok." Both women looked at her skeptically, but Eve began giving information anyway.

"The interview is at 11 AM tomorrow, so we're going to have to leave here at maybe 4 AM so we can be there in time for hair and make-up and any prep that they need to do. Mics and camera stuff you know?"

Brittany nodded, registering only that they needed to be out of the door in six hours. Santana was breathing more rapidly now.

"You need to pick out an outfit for her, something nice enough for the show but that's still Santana. We don't want her to be super dressed up because she's not yet a huge celebrity you know? We don't want to give a false image."

Brittany frowned and Santana let out a horrible laugh. "I'm supposed to pick a Jimmy Kimmel worthy outfit out of my own wardrobe? Are you two insane? I mean really, have you lost your fucking minds?"

"Santana"

"Britt are you hearing the same news I'm hearing? Miss four eyes psycho control freak and her side kick grandma saggy boobs-"

"Santana Deja de hablar. Estás siendo tan grosero en este momento y no está bien. Sé que tienes miedo, pero si sigues hablando te vas a arrepentir. Deja de hablar por favor." Brittany's tone was harsh, and her words were met with a long silence.

Santana let out a long breath and squatted, putting her face in her hands. After a few minutes, where no one spoke, she stood back up and looked at Eve and Emma.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said, your boobs are really nice Eve, and-"

"Don't worry about it Santana. We know this isn't the most ideal situation and we know you're probably really scared so just forget it. We have other things to think about."

Santana closed her eyes again, but nodded. Brittany rubbed up and down her back reassuringly.

"Alright, so for now, you know everything you need to, be at the studio at 3:30, we'll meet you there. There's a driver who's going to pick us up." Eve said. When Brittany and Santana nodded, Eve turned to Emma. "Let's go. We also have outfits to pack and sleep to get."

Emma looked like she wanted to protest, but Eve shook her head sternly and walked to the door.

"We'll see you girls tomorrow." She said, opening the door. Emma hesitated for a moment, looking at Santana, and then seemed to collect herself. She walked to them and put her hands on each of their arms.

"Get a good night's rest. We all need it" then she walked to Eve and they left.

Brittany turned to face Santana, trying to pull herself together.

"S this is a good thing. This is a majorly good thing."

Santana looked at her unconvinced. "Is it? I'm not ready for this Britt. I'm nobody. What the hell am I going to talk to Jimmy Kimmel about? If it was just the performance, that's one thing. I'd be scared but excited because I know I'm a good singer at least. But an interview….I mean…" she trailed off and there was silence. Brittany once again could not think of anything to say. She held out both of her hands for Santana to take and took a deep breath.

"This is a good thing. It means that you're getting famous enough for people like Jimmy Kimmel to even know about. You're music is being noticed Santana, and all your hard work is getting you somewhere. You may feel like a nobody, but you aren't, that's what this interview means. And you don't have to think about things to talk about because he has a list of questions remember. There will probably be a few about your music, what made you want to start singing and how has the process been and things like that."

Santana nodded as though this was information she could wrap her head around. Already she seemed to be calming down.

"I'm just as scared as you but baby, I'm so proud of you. Imagine if high school Santana knew she would be on Jimmy Kimmel. I think she'd go all Lima Heights on you right now."

Santana laughed and looked into Brittany's eyes adoringly.

"Yeah she probably would. I'm being a coward."

"You're not being a coward. You are not now nor have you ever been a coward. Haven't I told you this before?" Santana nodded with a crooked smile. "This is a good thing but it's happening so suddenly and without warning. It's normal to be scared. I'm just as scared, maybe more. But we're going to take this in strides. We're calling Quinn over and she's going to help us pick out the outfit, and then we're going to bed, you know I can't sleep in cars."

Santana nodded again and let out a breath. "Ok, let's go call Quinn. God she's going to lose her mind."