8

It's been 3 days but I still don't have the guts to go to school and face Tristan. Of course, I'm heartbroken. I cried my eyes out all night. Even if I said those words to him, I still love him.

I kept on playing those happenings in my head because I couldn't forget. How can I forget those?! He's the only one I love for 6 years! And he expects me to move on easily because he has Celine now?!

I opened my phone to see the time. It's already 11:24 am. I stood up and looked at my mirror.

No, I shouldn't be like this just because of him. He's not even worth it! No more crying, Tiffany! You managed the pain all those years, you can manage it this time! You're a strong woman! You can't be stuck here while he's living his life! You should live your life too!

I dressed up, put on some makeup, and drove to the nearest bar. I immediately went to the counter and order my first drink.

I swear to not cry again because of Tristan.

I straight up drank the entire glass. Why would I waste my time, crying for him? He's not even worth it. I drank and drank shots of alcohol but it s getting boring being by myself. Should I call Xander?

I called him and told him to go here. He asked for the address so I sent my location while I'm still sober. I continued drinking while waiting for Xander. Not too long after, someone sat next to me. I smiled "Xander! You're here!" I excitedly said and hug him. He patted my back before releasing my hug. "You're already drunk?" he asked. I shrugged with a pouty face. I smiled again and raised my glass. "Cheers!" He sighed, took the glass in front of him, and clicked our glasses before drinking it.

"You know what?" I said

"What?" he asked

"I knew Tristan since we were kids. We're all childhood friends because our parents are close friends. They knew each other since they were in high school. So they decided that they will all stick together even if they have their own family. They swore to make their children close to each other. Cute, right?" I said and chuckled. He chuckled too. I took a sip and continued my story.

"I started liking him when we were in high school. At first, I thought it was just a simple crush. But it got deeper and deeper. Are we close? YES, we were! But we drifted apart when I confessed. Yes, I took the risk of our friendship. Because I want to know if I had a chance. Do I regret it? Kind of. I regret it because I lost our friendship but at least I knew that I did not have a chance. But still, I tried my very best. Now, look at me" I chuckled "I'm a mess" I added.

He looked at me with sad eyes. "I thought it was just you, simply obsessed with him. I didn't know that it was that deep" He said. I shook my head and laughed. "A lot of people don't know my pain. Maybe because I don't let them see through my weakness. They all thought of me as a spoiled brat with a bad attitude. But I have to be this way. It's my way to survive in this cruel world" I said.

"I understand" He said and raised a glass. "Cheers?" he asked. I smiled and clicked our glasses. "Cheers"

"Arghh my head hurts!" I said, irritated. Our first subject just finished and I might be finished as well because of this hangover. Xander is already sleeping in his chair. I leaned on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

It's a good thing that I had the courage to go here to school today. Though I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. I just smiled at them, even my friends. They understand though. They can easily read through me.

"I saw Ms. Dy, she said that we can have her time to do anything. They have a meeting" one of my classmates said. I shouted happy inside of me but I kept my cool and continued to close my eyes. Eventually, I fell asleep while leaning on Xander.

I went to the school's garden just to freshen up my mind. I've been thinking a lot lately and I think it's not healthy anymore. I took a deep breath. Then, someone spoke behind me. "Can we talk?" I looked and it was Tristan. Suddenly, my heart skipped a beat. I walked away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Wait. I just want to talk" He said. "Please" he added.

"I don't want-" I said but he cut me off "I'm sorry"

I froze. I can feel my tears, wanting to fall down.

"I'm sorry if I ran away when you confessed a few years ago. I'm sorry if I can't love you back, I'm sorry if you're hurting because of me. I'm sorry if I ruined everything- If ever I ruined you. But I don't want to give you false hopes that's why I never responded positively to everything you've done to me. But I appreciate everything" He said which made my tears fall down.

"If you appreciated everything, why can't you choose me? why can't you love me? why not me?" I cried. I may sound desperate but I just want to know.

Maybe then, I can finally move on.

"I don't know. I tried, I swear! But I just can't. It's my fault that I ran away from our friendship just because you fell in love with me. But I didn't know what to do. I don't want to hurt you more. I knew that the fact that I couldn't love you back hurts you a lot. What more if I stayed friends with you just because that's all I can offer?" I chuckled

"Well, clearly, you don't know me at all. I never said that I didn't want to be your friend just because I fell. I'd rather have that friendship than lose you completely at all"