11| Drunken Tears

"Okay, you're starting to concern us. Tell us what the hell happened?" Gino and Adriano sat next to me. I was laying in the bed with my duvet covering my face since my face was still swollen from crying so much the previous night.

"No," I mumbled, my throat was still sore and my voice was terribly hoarse. Embarrassment was the only emotion I could feel and I could not imagine telling Gino and Adriano about what had happened yesterday. Plus I did not want to tell them that they were right about their assumptions that Ezekiel was in fact interested in having a relationship with me.

"We can do this the hard way or the easy way? You choose," Gino warned, but I could not care less.

"Fuck off," I groaned and cradled further down hoping the blankets would shield me from whatever they were planning.

"The hard way it is," he responded. Before I could brace myself they both ripped the blanket and duvet off me. I screamed loudly as Gino lifted my hands and Adriano my feet. They picked me up from the bed and took me to the bathroom. I just prayed that someone heard my screams and came to save me, but no one did.

They placed me in the bath and just before I could cuss them to Mars and back, Gino sprayed me with cold water causing me to scream as Adriano held me down. I had no idea for how this lasted but half way through I gave up and just lay there limply. What was the point of fighting against them? There was no hope anymore.

Ezekiel was upset with me. I was confused about my sexuality and I had kissed a man willingly and thoroughly enjoyed it. Suddenly I burst out into a fit of tears alarming the two men.

"You went too far!" Adriano yelled at Gino and lifted me out of the tub like I was a baby. He held my wet body covered in drenched clothes on his side as Gino rushed to cover me in towels. "Stop crying," he cooed and kissed my cheeks and forehead like I was some sort of toddler.

"There's no hope," I cried and dramatically flailed my arms about as Gino dried my hair.

"Did you get fired?" Gino gasped immediately going for the worst case scenario.

"No! Worse," I wailed.

Through my teary eyes I noticed them look at each with confused expressions before they simultaneously asked, "What then?"

With a trembling upper lip I quickly blurted out, "Ezekiel kissed me."

They both gasped and quickly ran with me still on Adriano hip into my bedroom and forced me to change so I could stop shivering from the cold water. Once I was done I met them in my kitchen as they got very strong cups of coffee ready. We all sat on my large 'L' shaped couch.

"So explain to us from scratch how this happened," Gino said as I looked up to the ceiling.

"I went to the Palace, we met, lots of cuddling then we just sort of kissed. He didn't force me or anything, I went along with it then I sort of freaked out when I realized what was going on. Then I might have accidentally told him that I don't feel the same way," I covered my face with my hands. It sounded just as bad as I thought now that I had said it out loud.

"Wow… do you… do you like him?" for the first time in forever Adriano looked just as serious as I felt.

"I don't know. Obviously my relationship with him is much more different to ours. The gifts, the hugs, the cuddles I just… I guess at the back of my mind it was what I suspected but I didn't want to think about it that way," I shrugged and looked down to the cup in my hands.

I had always just brushed off any idea of him being romantically interested in me since it was just so hard to believe. Now that it was confirmed I was in a whirl will of emotions. What was worrying was why I did not stop it when his lips first made contact with mine? Why did I allow it to go on for such a long time and only when I was getting lost in the feel of him did I panic?

The guilt was eating me up inside. I could still hear the hurt in his voice and I wondered if he hated me now. I hoped he did not. I hoped he would still speak to me until I figured out what had happened, until I figured out if I felt the same thing for him and if I did, how would I navigate through it?

"Have you talked to him since?" Gino frowned clearly sensing my distress.

"No, I'm afraid of what he will say if I do," I sighed, "I really messed up."

"Hey don't say that. I would not know what to do either. I think you handled it the way anyone would. You don't even fully know how he looks I think if there is anyone who should feel guilty it should be him. How could he spring that onto you when he can't even meet you during the day?" Adriano had a really good point for the first time in his entire life, "If I was you I would send him a text that for as long as he can't meet you during the day then you will not give a proper response on how you feel."

"Yes. How can you declare your adoration for someone who won't allow you to be with them like any other normal person? We understand he works for the royal family but surely they would want him to have a life as well not stay in a secret relationship like some depressed post-war story," Gino jumped onto the wagon as well.

I pursed my lips for a moment and it all did make sense. It did not feel fair that Ezekiel could be mad when he was keeping a huge secret for me. If anyone deserved to be mad, hurt or frustrated it was me. He kissed me and I could not even point him out in a room full of people.

"You're right," I felt energy flood back into my body the more I thought about it, "You are so right!"

"Of course we are, get your phone and let's text his mysterious ass," Adriano clapped hyping me up.

With my large jersey I stood up with pride filling my chest and stomped to my bedroom to retrieve my phone. When I sat back down Adriano and Gino flew to my side as I tapped Ezekiel's contact.

"Should I text him or call him?"

"Text, you get dumb when you call people and confront them," another valid point from Gino.

"Now type exactly what I say," Adriano reprimanded. I nodded and got ready. "Ezekiel, yesterday was confusing and I'm sorry for how I reacted, but I don't think it's fair for any of us to hold any strong feelings against each other when we have not even met during normal hours. I wish I could tell you what I really thought about the whole situation but I can't speak to you until you tell me and show me who you really are. I hope you think it through."

"We should give women advice. We are great at this," Gino clapped as I pressed send.

"But now we wait," I sighed and placed my phone on the coffee table. Instead of drowning in my sorrow, Gino, Adriano and I got super drunk and passed out in the late afternoon.

The next morning when we woke up I found three missed calls from no other than Ezekiel. I shoved Adriano awake nearly causing him to push Gino off the bed; he woke up with a frightened gasp.

"Who burnt the turkey?" he mumbled looking around the room.

"What's wrong with you?" Adriano groaned and pressed his face into a pillow.

"I called him yesterday! Three times! Each call is like ten minutes long," I groaned. I knew when we got drunk we said some pretty dumb things and I was afraid I had done the same with Ezekiel. Clearly the calls must have been eventful for him to call me three times afterwards. I wished I could jump off a bridge and fall to my end.

"There's nothing we can do now. It is all in the universes hands," Gino chuckled.

"It's easy for you to say since it doesn't affect your life," I hissed. Not wanting to hear another word from those two I climbed off the bed and went to drown myself in embarrassment in the bathroom.

I was pretty sure after my many drunken calls with Ezekiel he would definitely not want to speak to me again. What had I said to him in those ten minute calls that had gotten him so concerned to call three more times. I hoped I did not confess to anything before I was ready to.

What was worse, was that I did not even know who he was. I could not avoid someone without knowing them. He could be silently judging me without me noticing and that was horrible. I just hoped I did not run into him when I had my meeting with the King on Monday.