Chapter 15 Home

While I wait for Elijah to tell me Killian's reply to my request I begin to walk towards the library. As I walk I can feel my heartbeat begin to rise and am unable to stop myself from fidgeting with the front of my dress.

I slowly start to take deep breaths to calm the anxiety building in my mind and body. Every step I take echoes through the empty hallway, making the weight of my steps feel heavier than they ever have.

The doors to the library feel as though they weigh a ton, as though opening them is like breaking through to another realm. A feeling that always gives me comfort and makes me feel at home.

When I am not training and fighting I spend my time here, reading all the stories and getting lost in the ideas they present to me. Here I find solace in the ideas of adventure, travel, love, and even that of having a full family.

Solemnly I walk over to a table and chairs, staring at the books laid out on the table. Each and everyone about strategy and war, making it obvious the last person in here must have been a soldier or courtsman.

I pick up the book labeled 'Trials Of War and Peace' and begin to read it as I take a seat in one of the chairs. To me this room is truly one of the best places in the castle, making the seclusion that comes with being a royal able to connect with all corners of the world.

The book I have begun to thumb through is a book about how wars start and end, ways to avoid them and ways to win them. I have read this book a few times to help me with battle strategy for my training.

The smell of the pages and the feel of the paper against my skin helps me get lost in the book's words, entrancing me in the texts of war. Though this book is about war in its entirety it helps me connect to the idea of adventure, of fighting my own battles.

"Hello love," a voice behind me startles me, making me jump.

'I didn't even hear the door open. How did someone get in here without me hearing? Was I that lost in the book, or did he find another entrance?'

I turn to see Killian chuckling as he strolls towards me, a smirk pulling at his face. He is dressed in all black, except for a white rose in his shirt pocket.

"Sorry love, I didn't mean to startle you," he chuckled again. "You were just so focused on the book I couldn't think of another way to get your attention."

"H-how long were you standing there?" I ask breathlessly.

"A while, you looked so peaceful I almost didn't want to disturb you." a genuine looking smile crossed his face.

"Then why did you? Why didn't you just send Elijah with your reply?" I question him.

"As I said, I 'almost' didn't want to disturb you. As for the other matter I haven't talked to you in a while and thought it would be best if I give you my reply." He sighed shakily.

"Very well, would you like to sit with me?" I find my words to be inviting him in more and more, though my mind and body still feel anxious around him.

"Hmm," he hums, looking as though he is considering my question. Slowly he walks over and sits in the chair that is directly next to me. "Tell me, what book was it that had so much of your attention?"

"Oh, uh" I grab the book and close it, showing the front of the leather binding. "I was rereading the 'Trials Of War and Peace'." I blush lightly as he takes the book from my hands.

When he grabs the book I notice something odd, he isn't wearing gloves. His hand grazes over mine when he grabs the book, startling me yet again.

He takes the book and flips through the pages, reading a few of them before setting the book on the table and turning to look directly at me.

"Why am I not surprised you find war books fun to read, or sorry reread." he gives a haughty laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I glare at him.

"Only that, a girl as yourself, who spends all her time fighting and training for a battle that may never come isn't someone I'd be surprised by liking books about war." he stated matter of factly. "I bet war books are all you read, it's obvious you think in strategy and what the next move in any given situation might be."

I scoff before standing from my chair and staring down at him. "Oh? Then seeing as you know so much about me, tell me what is my favorite book?"

"Hmm," he smiles playfully up at me, "I think it's 'The Art Of Battle'."

"Wrong." I scoff, walking away from the table.

"Where are you going?" he calls after me, though not getting up to follow me.

"To get a book." I giggle to myself as I fly up and grab a book off the top shelf.

Once I grab the book I flutter over to him and hand him the book I had gone to grab. He stared at it for a long moment before looking up at me.

"Why this book?" pain seems to lace his voice.

"It reminds me of my mother, of when I didn't have a broken family and home." my voice starts to break as I recall memories of my mother.

"But this is a tragedy, it ends in heartbreak and loneliness." his eyes seem to be searching mine for something.

"All things in life end in tragedy, there is no escaping that. Though it ends in tragedy I love this story for dozens of reasons." I take the book from him and begin to thumb through it. "This book shows the trials of love, how it feels to lose someone, what it's like to go on an adventure, what it's like to fail, what it is like to succeed, it shows that happiness and pain go side by side and not just one or the other. It makes me feel at home, showing me all things a wish for and fear."

"Interesting, you really amaze me." He sighed, getting up from his chair. "I will see you at dinner in an hour." he grabs my hand and kisses it.

He slowly walked towards the door and slipped out, leaving me to my thoughts.