The Tap

With the VFX (visual effect) like from the 70's batman television series (whirlpool and jingle), the scene for our characters has changed as the duo arrived with dancing moves at that 'Schmucks fun place.' Furtrap with little kitten on his shoulders, practically danced in through the main door.

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Fizzi thought it might be an amusement park, arcade, or leisure center. However, this looked like a combination of a family restaurant with animal maid cafe, where designated host boxes has so different sizes and furniture, that it clearly has been a multipurpose place. Even though it was like a familiar native field for Fizzi [he work as Cafe Maid], he had a strange feeling that something here was not in right place as it should be. It was almost as if he gets this 'deja-vu' ['Dažavú' French: déjà vu] feeling, like he'd been on this place before.

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As they looked around with curiously, they carelessly headed straight for the line leading to service counter. There was this pun sized blond bartender # owner # Tapper, with a strong Irish accent, friendly smirk and some kind of 'legendary level' custom short sword on his back. At first glance one can think that he is 'Lepricon' [leprechaun - Irish folklore elf goblin, patron of the tavern and drunkards], who established this place to fill his 'pot of gold'.

The custom here was; that at the same time only one customer was allowed to enter the reserved red square type 2x2 meters, which was right in front of that bartender who was the local master and boss. The hotel type rope barrier/ fence, lead that the rest of waiting customers shall stand at side, until they time to step in come. Somehow if feel like this was some ritual similar to audience in front of King. So the supposed 'Knight' can immediately leave the place the moment he receive the 'quest/ task'. Or it was just for the owner to always have a visual on the front entrance, to see if some nuisance comes in.

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As the duo stand in line, they realize that there is even smaller 'customer' that the kitten itself, standing right before them. It was a certain tiny crab. As the line moved forward and it was his time; the little animal just walked forward and now stands at the center of that red square. As it turned out, the square itself was actually a lift platform that was capable to go down or up. So that the tapper could always look his customer into the face, as they were even. Or for the sole reason so he doesn't need to bother, to rise his head or to bent over the counter to see who speaking to him.

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The owner smirked with great grin: "So what will it be, dude?" [cool guy]

It was unclear what the 'side walker' has chosen but for the Fizzi it sounded like: [General rudeness].

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The tapper pulled out a larger cooking pot and placed it on the counter, so the crab can see it clearly. He then started adding ingredients to the pot, and commenting what he doing. "So we have some cheap spaghetti from lowest price on sunken grocery store in side alley. Some random pieces of vegetables, that gave us yesterday as leftovers. For the spice base, we have broth from the supermarket, and the excess amount of the cheapest ketchup that could be obtained. We mix it together and the resources for the dinner base are ready. But we still have to add the main ingredient..." The owner went full silence staring at his customer.

Of course, as the silence rose, the crab at last asked the obvious question. "And that is?..."

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The tapper was seriously serious, and his voice was adamant. "Get in!"

It went a few seconds as the two stared at each in some kind of starring contest, for moment glaring at the pot, the next into each eyes, and then again at the pot and back. But at the end, the crab silently surrender and walked into that pot. Then the entire dish travel directly on stove and fire.

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Then the time for the two Neko persons to stand in front of the 'king of the restaurant', finally arrived. But Furtrap was uneasy and don't move. He was working himself in maid cafe and what he seen here made him feel like 'something' is currently not as it shall be. So he must ask the calico the obvious. "Listen buddy, do you really want to go to this fishy place? This place looks pretty untrustworthy, if you want my option."

But the kitten throws her paws to sides in (I dunno) gesture and then pointed on the blog of coupons. Then made notice on that paper with handwritten instruction to how to find this place. It was obvious someone wanted for them to go to this place.

But when innkeeper see that the withe cat hesitate to approach more as it should, he see right trough him where is the problem. In a good mood he places his elbow on the corner. "Ahaaa! I see, that I have new faces here. Let me guess: Daddy get the young one on weekend and you two walked in my shop without bothering to read the info billboard outside, about wonders we have here. Now yours eye balls are ready to fall out from your eyes hols." He makes a smirk. "Then is on me, to make a good first impression: Hi aim Meliodas, Grand Hero, leader of 'seven deadly shmucks', and owner of this fine and (legal!) establishment. So dear customers, please come closer!"

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The withe furry tilled his head. "Schmucks?-- Like Smurfs? Or Dwarfs?"

That innocent comparison make the bartender to frown. "NO!! And NO!! Shmucks!... Don't even try to mention that greedy gem diggers here! And the blue tiny palls?... One wrong step and-- Ech!" He made a disgusted sigh, rolling his eyes around like he has remembered something that he doesn't like. "I am a retired heroic fighter who run a bar. So are you coming closer? Or you have some of those 'my personal space' issues?"

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But Fizzi realized something. "You not going to kidnap me to work here, don't you?"

The owner has a confused look. "Do I look like 'Etna' [Beauty Queen Etna from Disgaea] or 'Momonga' [Ainz Ooal Gown from Overlord] to you? To kidnap someone to work for the task?" But then frown once more. "No! You are on board of ship, or you don't are! I, don't do, kidnaps! I am solving them all the time! And every time: its pain in my ass!! Are you VIP? Have you 'Heroine' trait? Are you been kidnapped on regular basis? Then I don't hire you! I will not go on another quest arc to save a supposed damsel in distress, because somebody decides to kidnap another of my employees. No, I don't care!! If you want to work here: sure, be my guest. The looker rooms are upstairs. But I will not go save you furry ass, when someone kidnap you! Make an insurance on the insurance company."

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The moment Fizzi asks: 'Is the kidnapping a common on this place?', the barman pointed at the dedicated board with portraits and photos, about missing waitress and maids. Some got extra photo with that girl in wedding dress standing next to her husband, # kidnapper. [In some countries, a female employee can be freed from the employment contract (fully terminated), if she getting married and moving out to established a family.] Because some of them seemed to look happy, the Furtrap finally approach the Tapper. "Eh, to be accurate, I have been tasked to choose the proper name for the junior here, and…"

Meliodas stop him with a raised palm. "I get it! Then it's again: 'That daddy day in year! ' Do not worry! At the end of the day, everyone had succeeded at it! So you will to!"

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Fizzi observed the board displaying special menu offers, and he became a little skeptic. "Okay... Then will you explain me what this mean? It's says some controversy like: 'Frag off!', 'Double insult.', 'General rudeness.', 'Shut up and get the hell out of here!', 'FUBAR'…" He cannot force himself to read more of those rudeness anymore. "What are those?!" Pointing at the board.

On contrast, the bartender smirk was back. "I see that this customer have good taste."

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"What?!"

Amused by that reaction the tapper rest his elbow on the bar counter. "It's really an interest story. I started with this special menu as a personal defiance against drunkards and they nonsense about 'rasengans'. I put some nonsense on big table under special menu header and somebody eventually pick it up. It's unbelievable how popular that shit has become. Now I can vent my frustration on customer, blabbing nonsense as two on three as I please, and even get paid for it. It's a really something; to keep the insulting of others on high level, especially when the demand is high. But It's seems that somebody must do it, and customers keep paying for it."

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Fizzi was subtly about to leave. "Uh, okay."

"You look like pure heart fella, so I give you a free example." He clears his throat. "So, you ball of hairs, prepare yourself for 'DeFurryAtion'. [removing the Furry status, no more fluffy, shawing the furry coat]

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"What?! I don't know what that is, but I definitely don't like how it sounds."

"I get even why. So I have already prepared a little demonstration." Fizzi got alarmed and was ready to run away, but the owner only pulled out from under of the counter a bulky TV, And with remote controller in his hand he play his visual promotion.

On the display was a scene with a traditional Japanese house court of some family that taking care about Shinto shrine. On middle of this place stayed a little chiby doll type emo girl (future Miko/ priestess of the shrine) with a fluffy chiby Tanuki [raccoon dog] shire spirit on her side. In front of them there was a red chiby fox shrine spirit. But this one fox overreacts on his yearly event of 'fur shedding' of winter and old fur. He used a loots of modern hair growth products, and as expected now he was one giant ball of fluffiness, with few meters in diagonal. So big that only his shocked face was seen in this ball of fur and he cannot move a paw. Then this girl and Tanuki picked up and an electric hair or (sheep woll) shaving machines with greatly malicious grins on their faces. They turned on the machines and 'zzzz' SFX was been heard. The next moment they shave off that fox completely to the skin, removing all that fur, so big piles of shaved off hairs piled up around the courtyard, like some piles of blown leaves. But those duo of hairdressers on purpose went so far on that hair cutting; that at the end, at the center of that courtyard, standing a little furless (without fur - visible purple skin) chiby fox spirit with devastated expression on his face. And the two culprits laugh at the victim of the 'fur shedding incident' so hard in mean manner, that they was catching they tummies.

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Furtrap was shocked with pulled out eyes on the horror film he just saw.

But the kitten on his shoulder just tilled her head in confusion.

Barman, reached under the counter and picked up an electric hair cutting machine. "So, my dear furry friend, prepare yourself for double nudity!"

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At the sound of the 'zzzz' growl from that machine, Fizzi was slowly retreating, back stepping towards the exit.

Seeing that priceless expression, the tapper smirked. "Relax! I'm just exaggerating. Nobody ever get hurt!" He put that doom device and TV, back under the counter.

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But the cat maid was on alert. "Nobody ever get hurt!? You just cooked an innocent crab a nearly minutes ago, alive!"

Owner turned his gaze to the pot. "How's the temperature dude?"

The amphibian customer, siting in that (boiling?) pot as it was a luxury Jacuzzi bathtub [hydrotherapy] waved his claw. "It's awesome! The nutrition's on this soup doing great for me. They shall try it."

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Jaw bone on the withe furry dropped down.

"As you see, he's not yet cooked up." The Barman at this point decided that any more explanations are not needed, so he went to the business. "So what it will be dude? What will you chose for you, and for you kiddo?"

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But it was the calico kitten on the shoulder, who waved with the blog of coupons, as it tries to get the bartender attention.

And Meliodas answered. "Yes, yes, I see you! Those are personal voucher of ours maids. with this ticket you can get that girl as a serving maid, otherwise they just waitress or operating staff. They often give this token to a person, which they desire to personally serve, or sell it on auction for an extra money. And you have with you an entire block of them. Did she loose them? Then she will have a great expression on her face when she will find who having them. But if it is for one of the girls, that don't work here anymore, then you two have been hoaxed." He smirked at them. "I notice that you have them the moment, when you daddy here danced to this establishment as some kind of big star that arrive on her stage. But nobody actually cared and the audience was dead silence. The entry pose and smile of your daddy freeze to that amount, I start thinking that he will lay egg from the enormous embarrassment."

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As the barman was jiggling, the Furtrap tries to stay calm. "I don't think that's how it works; at last I am certain that I am a mammal."

Bartender smiled as he had fun with those customers. "The same sentence can be applied on platypuses." As both 'Nekos' tilled their heads, the owner continues speaking on previous topic. "On other side of the things, I am curios that as why you two have an entire booklet of them. Mostly girls keep that thing looked in girls lookers room. Safely stored inside of theirs personal safes with a four numbers dial lock mechanism like a bird date, that are issued in each wardrobe. The narrow outside windows for ventilation opening up and the simple pin lock can be easily lock-picked even with a dinner knife. But to get to that window, you need some climbing and parkour skills, to not fall from route that are visible only when you are already on it. Some girls hand out one or two vouchers per month or lees, to keep the demanding and price high. But from the two of you, I have the feelings that something different is behind this story. They are not false ones?-- so you can get to the 'service' for free, dint they are? Can I see them?"

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As the duo approached the counter once more, the kitten jumped from the Fizzi shoulder on the table. The crumb fished in his pocket and pulled out a gold ATM card with a mystical fox symbol on it. Of course the Furtrap got alerted, confused from the possibilities that can hide behind that small piece of modern banking.

Meliodas eyes glittered. He makes a drug addicting laugh. "Oho-ho-ho! That's more liked… I now understand of what's is going around here. If that woman is involved, then is clear which name is on those vouchers." He give a fast glance inside of that blog of tickets, and after a nod he got down under the counter, searching for something. At moment he pull up on the desk a sturdy Renaissance version of ATM payment terminal, covered by thick layer of dust. "That's infuriating, even when I clean this think daily, every time that I going to use this, it suddenly have a this tick coat of dust, as it was not used in decades. Who freakishly needs this feeling like?: 'You kind were not been here in ages. Welcome here traveler from far, far away.'" And he blew the dust off, directly at the duo, who instantly coughed as it was pre-scripted event.

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As the transaction was continued smoothly, the calico instead of tipping a pin code, place his own tiny paw on the display.

When that think blinked on green, as all done, the barman was suddenly in professional manners as some experienced Clerk on services sell shop. "It is done. You two don't need to do, pay or order anything else, the maid will take care about everything you will possible need. She will know what to do. The one maid for with you have the voucher are currently on other task, but she shall be already finishing it. So take the booklet and please wait at counter with tapped water bar. In every bottle on the shelves are water from plumbing and some of them have something extra in it. The maid will come to pick the two of you, when she ready." The owner starts putting something out from the bottom of the counter. It was a carton box with some durable confectionery (candy) of some respectful age. From first glance they had been far beyond they warranty. "But before you go, take these. I am not sure why, but nobody buying them anyway. Probably it's because customers keep shitting themselves after tasting this specialty."

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Furtrap look at them pick up the Kitten and then make a blank expression on Meliodas. "I know I will probably regret if I ask, but I am curious: You have under that counter a lot of things that don't been in use for a loooong time, don't you?"

Once again the tapper have an amused grin. "Ah I see, mister is brave and not afraid of the saying 'Curiosity killed a cat.', dint ya? Relax! It's not that they are useless, they are the common equipment for any bar keeper like: Battle-Axe, double barreled rusty shotgun with a saw off barrel, Dynamite, or some stuff to repel 'though nuisance'."

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Due to curiosity, the Furtrap has no other option but ask: "Which is?"

"Well I have this 'Chain Shotgun Gatling' under the counter."

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"Why?"

"Imagine; that some cowboy will decide to rob this place. Kicking the door, screaming 'robbery' while holding two colds. Anyone will expect that I can pull out a rifle or shotgun. But with this baby and her 180 rounds per minute, any furniture he try to use as a cover, will be shattered to pieces and ruble. Any wall that can be used to his advantage will be good as gone, chase to exist. And because the ammo tractor belt, go all the way down to storage room; I put together a 5.000 round chain magazine. So they can from beginning forget that I will run out of ammo any soon. Well, cleaning that mess of fired shell and ruble will be pain in ass, but try to rob me with that weapon in my hands."

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The Furry dint knows if Meliodas pulling prank on him or not. But when the owner with a great grin and pride mentioned his personal urinal under the counter, Fizzi holding his companion, take a quick withdraw towards the waiting corner.

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The next customer that came after those two Neko's was a penguin. His order was about something 'that give him the feeling of flight'. After very short discussion with the barman, a sound effect of a (catapult releasing his shot) echoed through the restaurant. The red squad reveals another of his secrets: It had actual catapult ability, and was capable of catapulting the customer out of the family restaurant... Now every customer who was present can see a certain penguin fling through the hall. Right up about the entrance door were glassed windows that self-opened when catapult released hiss ammo, and the bird fly through him towards his freedom. Any outside passers-by who saw that event, must ask himself a question: 'Just who said that penguins cannot fly?'

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[Notes, theories, and amiss explanations]

Maybe someone reading even this:

Schmuck - or shmuck, is a pejorative term meaning one who is stupid or foolish, or an obnoxious, contemptible or detestable person. The word came into the English language from Yiddish, where it has similar pejorative meanings, but where its literal meaning is a vulgar term for a penis. Direct reference to abridged show from: The Schmuck Squad.

Sevens dwarf - been mine experts, and haven an unregistered mine that been super rich on rare gems. And they pile the stash on high volumes. Someone say they have been some elite dwarfs on a secret operation to secretly mine that area. They operated on small numbers to hide their presence before they call a transport air ship and move the stash. As some runaway princes state, no one in her kingdom had any idea, that there are dwarfs in hills. (Do you think they paid taxes?)

Smurfs - mysterious tinny forest fairies of blue color. Their origin are probably of self-realization of nature magic. They are rich on manna and happiness. Because of that certain mage stated that they are delicatese that refill the manna in great amount.

Meliodas - Over millennium old Demon (prince class). Hobbit sized son of some Overlord of certain Netherworld with world ID number... (ah who cares). Likes to run a bar of questionable quality, and don't caring for anything. Especially when it comes to ruling, or leading something. Like to run away, when there is no obligation to stay. He is terrible cook. Due to his education and travels experience, he sees right through the Newdori and Roxxan: their bounds and deals.

Etna - Over millennium old Demon Girl, with childish body and mind set. (Empress Class) Herald at Overlord Castle of certain Netherworld at astral phase, whose (world map) space warps more like nine tiles on any of the six sides of 'Rubicon cube'. (Don't fall or drop something to bottomless hole, or you will (eventually) fall from sky somewhere around.) She acts as (cruel slavery) 'Master' for 'Prinies', capable to instant summon them anywhere in army size amount and misusing them as high explosive homing missiles. (Dolls with soul of sinner in artificial hollow body of penguin. Who must work as 'purgatory redemption' to collect money so they can pay the price for soul reincarnation and return to their realm.) Likes to live freely, and highly value former 'King of hell'. (Title that Overlord get if he is recognized by public and anything that count as senate.) Dislike those who interrupt her freedom. She kind of lazy one, if she not harsh on 'prince class', scheming, or harassing someone. (Prinies)

Momonga - Senile Grand Litch (formerly human) and 'Overlord of the Great Tomb of Nazarick'. After last attempt to look cool at the very end of certain 'Era', by simply altering single line on important NPC lore, he accidentally triggers a 'Magic goods ultimate technic to alter base of reality', his fortified dungeon moved onto new realm and his population of cannon folder (NPC), become fully sentient, passing to far his wildest imagination. As the single line he wrote altered reality, to be marked as unshakable fact, the nearly unrealistic design of Tomb (dungeon) becomes fully functional Underground City, with his citizens. Now he is pile of bones siting on the throne of magical kingdom when hot succubus call him daddy in seductive way. He likes to play badass, as hero or villain, and exploring the new world and new old home. Dislike finding embarrassing stuff of his past 'in his closet' (Nazarick), that others (his children's) don't get it. (yet)

Heroine trait - (Damsel in distress) it's a character trait that increase the chance of that character to get into trouble like assault/ bully/ kidnapping and require to be saved by hero. If there is person with any type of 'hero' status or trait, then the chance for this type of event skyrocket up. So they tried solved/ prevent this problem from occurring, by locking the damsels in high towers. Effective to some degree, don't mind the snowball effect that lead to (big fire) dragon to settle there and turning the castle into ruins.

FUBAR - US military research division term for: Fooked up beyond Recognition/ Recovery/ Any Repair/ All Reason. Burn it down and start from scratch.

Rasengan – an iconic special attack [ninja technique] of main protagonist and good guys from Naruto series.