Chapter 4 - The phone call

I didn't know what to say, or what to do. One part of my brain screamed at me to close the call, to break my promise. The other part was too shocked to do anything, and a third part told me to hear him out.

"Are you still there?" the man claiming to be Richard Castle asked scared into the phone.

"Y-yes, but..." I cut myself off, I didn't know what to say.

I shouldn't be talking to him, but at the same time I couldn't just hang up on the man whose daughter I was taking care of without even knowing what he had done wrong. I needed to know what he did, if I knew then perhaps I could find peace at actually shutting him out. Maybe if I knew I wouldn't be having these thoughts about contacting him for Alexis.

"Please, just let me know how she is. All I want is to know she's okay" he pleaded and I bit my lip.

"Mr Castle, what did you do?" I heard myself asking with a determined voice, more determined than I thought was possible for me in the state I was in.

He got quiet and at first I didn't think he would answer. Maybe it was for the best if I just hung up and never spoke to him again.

"I don't know" he whispered and that's when I heard the sob he was trying to prevent from coming out. "I don't know, they just... they just took her" he tried again and I couldn't help but feel the lump in my throat grow.

"You really have no idea what you did?" I asked and I was surprised my interrogating voice had come up to the surface.

"No" he said with an exhausted sob.

"How can you not know?" I asked, now with a much softer voice than I thought I would.

"All I did before they took her was looking into a crime that happened 10 years ago, nothing else. I'm no alcoholic or have trouble with drugs, I don't know why they took her" he said low.

I was quiet, I had no more words to say. I didn't know whether to believe him or not. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I couldn't just hang up on him now, he sounded so serious and just as upset about the break with his daughter as she did when she talked about him. And if he had the same eyes as her then I could easily picture them red filled with tears in them and I couldn't have it that way. It wasn't fair that he didn't know what he had done wrong.

"Please, just... just let me know if she's okay" he said after a few minutes of silence.

I bit my lip again before I let go of a sigh.

"She's okay, she misses you... a lot but, I think she's okay now" I said honestly.

"Does she ever ask about me?" he asked and I could hear a sob come out of his mouth.

"In fact, she did ask about contacting you earlier today, I told her no" I confessed and I had no idea why.

It seemed so easy to talk to him, he seemed so vulnerable that all I wanted to do was comfort him and tell him the truth.

"Why?" he asked and I could hear he was starting to get angry through his sobs.

"Because you're not allowed to see her, or contact me for that matter" I defended myself and I realized what I was doing, "actually I should probably end this right here, if we keep talking they might find out and then they will take her away from me" I stated but as I was about to put down my phone to click on the red bubble his voice flew through the phone.

"I have secured my phone! They won't be able to tell you've talked to me, please, don't hang up!" he called out in a desperate tone.

I stopped in my tracks and held the phone close to my ear again.

"You sure they can't tell you've called me?" I asked and he eagerly told me I was correct.

I remembered I was on my way to bed when he called so I closed my bedroom door to make sure Alexis wasn't going to wake up and ask me who was on the phone before I went into the bathroom to prepare myself to brush my teeth, still holding my phone to my ear.

"Has she said anything about what's going on? Does she understand it?" he asked as I put toothpaste on my toothbrush.

"Well, she kinda understands, but at the same time she doesn't. She has told me a few things though which I do to make her feel closer to you" I had no idea why I told him these things, why I didn't just hang up, but it felt right.

I put my toothbrush into the running water before I put it into my mouth and started brushing my teeth.

"Really? Like what?" he asked but I could hear he stopped himself, "are you brushing your teeth?" he asked surprised.

"Yes, I am" I said as clear as I possibly could with my brush in my mouth.

"Did I catch you at a bad timing? I mean, are you going to bed?" he asked and I told him to wait a second.

I put my phone on the shelf I had under the mirror above the sink so that I could bend down and spit out the toothpaste I had in my mouth to be done with the brushing. Once I was done I took my phone again and held it against my ear.

"Sorry, uhm... yeah, I was going to bed but no, not really a bad timing" I told him and I could almost picture me him nodding at my words.

"So, pumpkin's asleep?" he asked and I winced at his nickname.

I just wasn't prepared he would use it so lightly.

"Uhm-yeah, she's asleep" I stuttered.

I walked to my bed and pulled away my covers to be able to take my nightgown.

"What did you mean you were doing to make her feel closer to me?" he asked, going back to the previous subject.

"I-eh, like I make those smorlettes you came up with, I read your books for her uhm, and I try my best to let her tell me things about you so that she won't forget anything about you" I told him before I added, "wait a second, I just need to change, I'll be right back."

I put down my phone on the bed and stripped out of my clothes to put on my nightgown. When I had it on I took up my phone again.

"I'm back" I said and I heard him let go of a relieved sigh.

"What was your name again? Beckett was it?" he suddenly asked after a few minutes of silence as I sat down in my bed and put my covers over me.

"Well, you can call me Kate, Beckett's my surname. By the way, how did you find out I'm the fostermother?" I questioned.

"Oh, let's just say I owe a guy big time for this" he said and I couldn't help but chuckle at his statement.

"Big time how?" I asked and he muttered something incoherent, "what?" I asked.

"I have to name one of the characters in my next book after him" he muttered louder and I bursted out laughing at his venomous moody voice.

He sounded so grumpy with the fact that he needed to add someone else to his story.

"It's not funny miss Beckett" he said and I tried to stop laughing.

"It's detective Beckett if you're gonna insist on using my last name" I told him sharp.

"Oh really? Okay then, Beckett" he said and I continued to chuckle.

I had literally no idea why I really found it funny, I was probably just too tired for my own good.