PICTURE BOOK

(Thursday the 29th of August)

Yes you got it right I saw the nurse, she was standing there looking so innocent, so dumb, so stupid.

I don't know why the hell dad is yelling at this bitch but she deserves it, *I think*

Dad what's the matter? " I pretended to care as I was already in the room.

"Nothing, go to your room it's just work" he answered with a low and angry voice trying to sound calm.

"What are you doing here?" He continued.

"Nothing" I said as I started to move back slowly, *okay that was weird* who agrees

"Dad take care" I added as I finally exited the room.

Dear dad,

What is your relationship with the name-calling nurse?, how do you know her?, am I supposed to be nice to her?, is she really a good person?, can I trust her?, does mom know about her?.

 Your lovely habi.

"Nana habi" mom called from behind

As I slowly turned to see her glowing fave she continued.

You know that tomorrow is the day we are going to buy you some new products from the market can't wait"

"yessss" I answered elongating the *S*

"Honey what are you doing by this time of the night?" she asked, waiting for a reply from me, the time was only 10:14pm what did she mean by that?

"Mom its just 10:14" I answered

"You should be in bed by 8:30pm latest your doctor advised" she said with a calm voice, and an ugly smile, she said it as if she was the doctor.

"Yes ma, but you know doctors say crazy things like you have amnesia even if you don't"*what the hell did I just say, I do have amnesia* I answered sounding disappointed by her words

" let me pretend that I did not just hear what you said, or lets both pretend that's much better, now go upstairs"

"Yes ma" I said

As I did as she instructed as I went upstairs and sat down on my bed it was a huge house and my room was also big, my bed which was at the middle of the room was facing my dressing mirror which was standing close to the wardrobe, which was beside a door in which the bathroom and toilet were strategically arranged in it.

There were two big dolls on the both side of the bed, they were soft and cuddly I really liked it, the room was painted in light blue and light pink which blended perfectly there was a chandelier which was directly above my head, I am also scared of it.

My legs were folded into each other and I could fell the heat coming from my body, I took my left foot down as I decided to go visit the bathroom there was a piece of cloth on the floor which my leg was tangled in as I brought down the other leg which held tightly the cloth as I stood up, I did not know what really happens until I found my self on the floor, it was an embracing moment for me but thank God I was the only one here to witness my fullish mistake yeah thank God Mr. Hotty was not hear.

I was on the floor for about ten minutes or so as I was felling the floor's warmth which made me fell sleepy as I yawned, I looked close and close under my bed and saw a piece of white paper, it seemed as if I was hallucinating *pick it up* my inner mind told me and I did as it said.

  I stretched my arm to pick it and realized it was actually a white box, it was a little dusty and I cleaned it with my cloth, I was so curious to know what was in it that I immediately opened it, don't blame me it's in my blood, instead of me to show it to my parents, I dusted it open as I was just so curious to know what was in it.

Wow! it was a picture book and it was filled with my pictures but there was a girl there who is she?, she looked quite nice and decent.

I locked the box and the imagines kept coming to my mind and I already concluded that I will ask mom until I saw habiba and Maryam *habyam* best friends for ever "Maryam?" I said aloud why didn't my mom tell me anything about her, now I was determined to find who this girl is?, I need to know who she is? I wondered I decided to go to sleep and leave the rest for tomorrow I will not tell mom again I should keep this to my self, and so I need to find answers.

I need to know who I was I need to know my self, I need to know my past to make me know who I am, I need to know.

"Good morning ma" a girl standing at the window greeted

"How?" I paused and stood up, the time was 8:12am and the sun started rising I went to the bathroom and took a bath and did ablution, I dressed and took a praying mat and spread it close to my bed I prayed briefly as I had too many taught in my head after my salam I muttered.

"Habyam" aloud and the maid looked up at me as if she knew exactly what it meant. Oh! Her hair was opened, thank God now she will be the one to be punished if anything is wrong with my prayer "ALLAHAMDULLILAH" I slowly said, *stupid* well God please help me.

I stood up and went to the kitchen again I served my food and ate on the dinning table, the head maid came to words me she gave me a devilish smile, and then she walked away as if nothing happened as she smiled normally passed me.

I ate fast and I finished I went to moms room to remind her about today!, well don't blame me *I am the only child so, it means I can do what I want to my parents and nobody can argue with me*, she quickly stood up as she saw me, I sat down on her bed as she rushed into the bathroom with no words she quickly baths and dressed, *well there was nothing quick about what she did* she was wearing light make up that highlighted her cheeks and eyes, it made her look like she was in her early forties.

"Let's go" she said

No good morning no nothing, seriously I was the one who came to your room you were too great me, *listen to your self*

" Oh, yeah" I said as we left the room.

She was wearing light blue trouser and light pink top which reminds me of the color of my room me on the other hand was wearing a leather jacket on a white top with a free plated yellow skirt I raped a veil around my head as I pined it with a sunflower pin which marched my skirt I was also wearing a flat yellow shoe with a yellow bag and my mom was wearing a blue shoe and a pink bag my mom only wore a blue cap as she does not believe in covering all part of your body as the religion made it compulsory for us to.

We both left the main building of the house after she took her car key from the key rack she opened the car and I sat at the assistant divers sit, even if I was not called that for a car I was so excited when we reached a big shopping mall I felt like exploding.

"I think you should let go of your past, and leave at the moment, don't you agree with me?"

I thought it was my thought until I saw mom giving me a serious face, like she just spoke to me, and she needed answers, but luckily for her, she was going to get none, *a zero*.

We came down from the car and, and we walked slowly as majestically through the mall.

"So you don't remember ever coming here?" Mom asked.

"No, I don't remember"

She looked at me with this she is so innocent eyes, *how did you know it was the so innocent eyes she gave you?*, well that's an easy question because you will know one when you see one.

We walked to the electronics store, which had a big sign on the front.

"Good morning ma" a man greeted her, he was at the counter, looks like he was the cashier.

How are you?" She replied.

"And what does my daughter wants?" He said staring deep into my eyes.

"Oh, let's see your most expensive product"

"Okay, its apple, should I still bring it"

Wait a damn minute what do you think we are scavengers, bring the product out man.

"Fine, are you sure you are not looking for good android and iOS materials? Are you sure you want apple product".

we entered the shop and mom sat down as she commanded him to" bring the latest apple products" which he did,

"how much for it? " She asked before he returned with the goods.

Long story short we bought the phone, tablet and a laptop the apple way, from him, I bet mom just made his day we were done with our mission for today as We walked to the makeup store.

As she'd asked me if I needed any makeup I replied no, but she insisted in buying for me and her self, she bought nearly the whole market if not all of it, after we finished shopping, We went to the catering department and sat down, we were starving as we had nothing to eat for breakfast.

  "What will you like beautiful miss?" A waiter asked, obviously talking to me, *wait a minute mom looks young, and she was dressed younger than I* this was not fair she was actually looking at the both of us, well the truth is that you will think she is younger if not for her old face that could not hide her age even with the makeup, *okay her face was not that old, but it was still old.

"A big bowl of ice cream" I answered

"OK, what flavor miss?"

"Vanilla and strawberry mixed"

" And you mam?"  She said facing mom now.

" A plate of your finest dish" she answered

How can someone ordered that, what if there bring you something that you have never eaten before, or even worst something you don't like, or maybe something that you are allergic to.

He left for the kitchen and mom's phone vibrated, and she picked it up she continued to stare deeply into her phone as if she was being bewitched or cast a spell on, what was she doing?, she was laughing and staring at her phone, she just started getting me irrigated by her character.

"Mitcccchew" I hissed aloud

"anything wrong with your food mam" the waiter said as he just dropped our food on the table

"no, just my taught nothing more" I briefly answered

I took the bowl of ice cream and hid my face inside as its flavor called my name the more I ate the more I wanted more and the more it pronounced my name perfectly it was saying.

"Finish me, finish me" even if that wasn't my name it did sound like it tho. I finished my ice cream and started eating mom's dish she did not seem to notice as she was busy with you know who, Mr.phone.

Dear Mr. Phone,

continue distracting mom as her dish is marvelous I hope you will not do the same to me because I don't know how I will be to you but not a physco ok, not that at all.

 Urs habini.

*I swear to you habiba I will not be this addicted to my phone*.

By these time I was done eating and was ready to go

"mom let's go" I said with a disgusted voice

"Were's my food?" She asked as she raised up her head to find the plate empty.

"hahiba's land" I said with a cold and unemotional voice

Habiba, you just will never change or will you?"

What was that suppose to mean * I don't get, I did something out of rage and it was my character* please give me a break.

I left already angry and this time I sat down in the car's passengers seat, as I waited for her to pay the bills, what she kept on playing on my mind until I sank deep in my thought and started thinking about the Maryam of a girl.

I need to find out more about my past, about who I am, I know that's the only cure for all this madness I know. Maybe Maryam can solve all this problem of mine Maryam where are you?

I did not realize that we were already at home and mom had started parking her things from the car.

Dear Maryam,

Where are you?, I need to remember you?, I need to find my self?, I need redemption, I need you right now.

 Your habiba.

I left the car and only carried the things that belonged to me and walked straight to my room, beside maids were helping her. I quickly dropped everything on my bed as I stormed straight to the bathroom as I emptied my bladder, *ha this fells so damn good*.

*Haa* I said as I felt satisfied, and so I went to my bed and sat on my pillow I opened my phone and inserted my old sim card in and switch it on, mom and dad gave me the phone but it was broken into pieces.

Every thing was going good until I received a text message "dear habiba if you want to know more about your past.... WTF....Shit