LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
4k collections, and definitely more than 4k people who have read this stupid novel of mine.
Am I happy? Of course.
And yes, I have returned to my pessimistic realist state of mind and I am now slowly killing those bits of optimistic/idealistic ideas in my mind.
I already know deeply from the very start that this is crush is most likely temporary and easy to change, so I used that as a catapult to kill off those pesky 'I have a chance!' motherfuckers in my brain.
Yes, I know, it's hard to understand how I do it, but trust me, if you journal a ton and meditate a ton, you'll easily notice how your brain works and notice those tiny little stuff about your thought process.
I mean, my heart was erratic as fuck while my brain was calm as fuck. Even though I remained rational, my body was producing chemical emotions rapidly to start the flames of hope and youth, which I very much dislike.
I don't believe in miracles. I don't believe that she genuinely likes me. What I do believe is in myself, and the current status of the world.
You will never realize how great it feels to have such high control over your mind.
Anyways, the NND Lore is just getting more wacky as time goes on.
I'm amazed at the fact that I'm even calm right now.
I bet you losers out there who is reading this would have already think that they were the main characters if they were to be in the same situation as I am. But I'm just built different, I'm a Level 90 Pessimist that is nearing the borders of Godhood!
Enough about that, what I want to talk about is that we're finally at 4k collections, which is the largest following yet on a single novel.
I'm already happy that we reached 4k collections, but 5k just sounds improbable before my anniversary, so eh, that's a bit saddening.
But yeah, 4k collections, that's 4k fans.
Now the next goal is 5k, which by my estimates, would probably happen in a couple of months.
Other than that, see you guys later, ciao!