What People Never See

Sammy

I sit at my desk, my tattered sketchbook open to a blank page, one of the only few I have now. I need to get another one very soon. I'm stumped, and have been for the past thirty minutes. I've torn out and crumpled up about five drawings and tossed them into the trash, which is overflowing, damn it. My room's a mess and has been for about three weeks, my bed's unmade, my covers hanging off it to the point where they could easily fall onto the floor. Speaking of the floor, it's riddled with dirty clothes, soda cans, and trash. Just looking at it worsens my depression, as if that's even possible.

My room's nothing special, my walls are painted navy-blue, my favorite color, my bed is on the other side of the room from me, the headboard against the wall and facing my desk. It's a king size bed and feels like a cloud when you sleep on it. My covers match the color of my walls. My stuffed animals Buster and Darby lay on my bed. I cuddled with them last night. I can't sleep otherwise. There's two windows to the left of the bed, a reading nook beside them. I used to sit there for hours and read, or just watch Anton and the others be dumbasses in the courtyard below.

My throat tightens, god I wish I could go back to that. Back before everything went to hell. I snarl, slamming my sketchbook shut and throwing it against the wall by my bed. It hits it with a loud thud before falling to the floor. I stand up and walk towards the windows. The courtyard is deserted, it is 10 at night, everyone's either sleeping or fixing to do so. The courtyard has a fountain right in the middle of it, despite it being older than even me and I'm nearly 19, it's well-taken care of. It's made of grey marble, freshly polished.

There's three tiers to it, the biggest one is at the bottom and I remember plenty of times when I fell into that thing and got soaked. The second tier is big too, just not enough to fall into. The one at the top is where the water comes out, running in rivulets down to the other tiers. Beyond the fountain lies the Plaza, where all big events or important meetings are held. It's like the courtyard, except there's places for people to sit if they need to. There's an awning over it, to protect everyone from rain or snow if it happens. That's where we all learned that Anton called it quits and left us behind.

I tear my gaze away from it. Surrounding the courtyard and our housing compound, is dense forest. Since it's nearing fall, the trees' leaves are starting to turn a pretty yellow and orange. Some leaves are still green. I remember playing tag in the forest and tripping over a tree root, spraining my ankle. Anton carried me home on his back and gave me the lecture of a lifetime about not looking where I'm going. His soothing voice, even when he was scolding me, lulled me to sleep.

God Anton, why the fuck did you do this to us?

Same reason as you will, to free those that he loved. The Dark Ones sneer in my head. Bastards.

I collapse on my bed back first, I hear voices downstairs. I focus in on them

"Something's wrong with Sammy," Dad says.

No really Dad? I haven't noticed how messed up I am at all.

"He's completely withdrawn from everyone, his best friends haven't heard from him in weeks, he used to go out with them like every night and just goof off. But now.. that's gone. He barely talks to anyone and it's like pulling teeth to get him to say more than a sentence. He used to ramble on and on about the things he likes, the books he was reading, whatever was on his mind. Not anymore."

"Word is he's completely shut out Michael and David," Alonzo says. "He's shut out almost everybody and they're worried about him."

Yeah right, they're worried about how bad they'll look if they never react to what happens to me. They don't really care.

"Anton was in the same situation," Vincent says, his voice barely steady. "And we.. lost him. God Z, what if we can't get to Sammy in time? What happens then?"

"We won't lose him, Vince."

"You said that last time Zero! And look what happened! We lost our firstborn son! And now we're going to lose our third born too!"

"Vince calm down-"

"I WON'T CALM DOWN!"

A huge crash sounds, and then Vincent starts to shout at Dad even more. Not once does he shout back or get mad like he is. I can hear his voice break after a while, and then he cries.

"As if you'd get the same treatment," Paranoia sneers, its gnarled arm slithering around my shoulder. "You and I both know that you're the throwaway child. Alex made that clear."

Paranoia is one of many Dark Ones that torment me constantly. The worst part? I'm the only one that can see and hear them, which makes me a goddamn freak for sure. Paranoia's the creepiest one, with three large blood shot eyes, one on its forehead and the other two right below the first. Black slithery arms sprout from its body at different spots. It has a gaping mouth full of razor sharp teeth covered in blood, it's the stuff of nightmares. And I'm stuck with it.

"Thanks for the reminder, stupid fuck," I snarl. "As if I needed one to begin with."

"You always need a reminder of what you are, a failure. A throwaway. Complete trash-"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Aw, did I strike a nerve? Face it Sammy-Sam, you're nothing to them. To any of them. I mean, your own brother killed himself to escape you."

"I said shut up!"

I whirl around and try to swing at Paranoia, it disappears. Its cackling laughter hangs in the air before slowly fading away. I break down, crying my eyes out and collapsing onto my bed.

Why can't I just be normal?!