The Night We Watched the Stars

I don't know why I think about that night so much. It wasn't supposed to be special. It wasn't supposed to be anything, really. Just another Friday. But sometimes the things that aren't supposed to matter end up being the things that matter the most.

We were all there—me, Jamie, and Marcus—lying in the grass behind the school like we used to do when we were kids. The air was cool, almost too cool for June, and everything smelled like summer starting. Jamie was flipping through an old comic book she found at Goodwill, and Marcus was half-asleep, his hoodie pulled over his head, blocking out the world. He always liked to do that, like if he could shut out enough noise, he could find peace.

I didn't have anything to say, which wasn't weird. I don't talk much, not when I don't have to. But for some reason, that night, I couldn't stop thinking. Thinking about how everything was changing, and it didn't feel like I was ready. Jamie was going off to college in a few months. Marcus was joining the Navy. And me? I wasn't sure what I was doing. It felt like they were all moving on, getting ready for the next part of their lives, and I was stuck in this weird limbo where nothing made sense.

The stars were out. I remember because Jamie said something about how they looked like a map. Like they were trying to tell us where to go, but we didn't know how to read it.

"You ever wonder if we're just not meant to understand some things?" she asked, her voice quiet. I think she was talking to herself, but I answered anyway.

"Like what?"

"Like where we're supposed to end up. Or who we're supposed to be. Maybe it's better not knowing."

I didn't say anything. Because the truth is, not knowing scared me. It scared me more than anything. I guess I was afraid of what would happen if I never figured it out. Like, what if I just stayed here, lying in the grass behind the school, waiting for something that would never come?

Marcus shifted next to me, pulling his hoodie tighter. "I don't care where I end up," he mumbled, half-asleep. "As long as it's not here."

And that hit me harder than it should have. Because "here" was the only place I knew. The only place that felt like home, even though I wasn't sure if it really was.

We stayed like that for a while, none of us really talking, just listening to the sound of the wind in the trees and the distant hum of cars from the highway. The kind of quiet that only happens late at night when it feels like the world has stopped for a minute just to let you catch up.

Eventually, Jamie closed the comic book and stood up, brushing the grass off her jeans. "I think I'm ready," she said, almost to herself. "For whatever's next."

And I realized, in that moment, that I wasn't. I wasn't ready for her to leave, for Marcus to go, for everything to be different. But I couldn't say that. So, I just nodded.

Marcus sat up, yawning. "We should head back," he said, rubbing his eyes. "It's getting late."

I don't know why, but I didn't want to leave. I didn't want the night to end. Because I knew, once it did, everything would keep moving forward, and I didn't know how to hold on to any of it. So I stayed behind, lying there in the grass, watching the stars. Jamie and Marcus walked off together, their voices fading into the dark.

It was just me now.

And the thing is, for the first time, that felt okay.