Sordid Desires- By Juma Patrick (Kenya)
Jake was struggling to stop his addiction to pornography and masturbation with no success. It all started as a private pleasure, turned to be his worst nightmare. He was six years-old when he discovered the pleasure that came by massaging his penis. This had gone on for a very long time. When he turned twenty-eight years old, he realized that he was leaving a different life from the rest of his peers.
Whenever, he went to bed with different women they always came out complaining of how poor and weak he was. He never lasted two minutes before he could cum. He personally found nothing interesting in women's pussy. He kept wondering what kept women and men moan when they connected those two body parts. His search for pleasure made him sink deep into the world of pornography, "Why were they moaning, who was giving the other happiness?" He wondered. Each night he made sure he watched at least ten different porn scenes online before he could masturbate and sleep in his lonely bed.
He never had female friends. Despite that, he never stopped lusting after their curves and imagining how sweet they could moan better than the ones he previously watched. He had not realized how fast time was moving till he was one day confronted by his mother. "My son, when are you bringing me a daughter-in-law?" Her mother asked with a concern. Her mother- Catherine had four children three of which were males. Her last born daughter-Rose was only sixteen-years old, yet had already given birth to two children. When Catherine provoked her daughter; she replied with a retort that if her mother was becoming a champion of manners, she ought to have started with herself. Catherine had been divorced to her husband who had accused her of infidelity. She tried to be patient enough with her husband Jackson. She soon failed. This man never satisfied her sexual needs. Later she would be caught creeping back to her own house late in the dark when her children were asleep. When her husband learnt about it, she separated with her immediately.
Her daughter was actually right. She was only ten-years old when her parents divorced. She was clever enough to know that her mother was actually 'seeing' other men. She didn't understand why. Despite Jackson (Catherine's husband) supporting the family as required by the law, Catherine lived a shameful life. Her female friends rebuked her instead of supporting her. The neighborhood blamed her for her problems. It's her older son Jake who had made her proud all this time, but now was failing to bring her a daughter-in-law. Jake had grown into an obedient, quiet, loving boy. He was always cheerful like his father and whenever he went out he never failed to bring a present for his brothers and his only sister. In school, he was brilliant and never failed to be acknowledged as among the future students the country would depend on. Unlike his brothers, he never messed with anybody's daughter.
Her mother's concern started when he graduated from the university. Not even a single time did he ever receive a female visitor visiting him at home? Let alone picking their calls. So when the mother asked him. She had all the reasons to get worried. Majority of his age mates now had young families. "Don't worry mom, very soon I will be bringing you someone very special soon." He said trying to avoid his mother's eyes. "When my son? Can't you see that very soon all your younger brothers will marry before you even think about coming with that special one at home?" Her mother almost cried trying to express her anxiety to her first born son- Jake.
Jake wished the conversation ended soon. So when her mother paused to read her son's face. He quickly rain to his room leaving his mother with lots of questions. Had she given birth to a gay person or her son was practicing celibacy behind her back, what was wrong with him? Catherine blamed herself at times and found locked herself in prayers for she thought that she was responsible for her children's curse. Jake himself had grown low self –esteem. He felt that he was not normal. No girl complimented his bedroom skills; either they left without saying a word or they insulted him for being as useless as a piece of dry grass. Therefore, he found solace in watching a lot of porn scenes and masturbation. He never found anybody trustworthy to share with his little secret that now turned to be his worst lurid.
He (Jake) sought digital means to find explanations to his antisocial means but failed miserably. The Google search engine instead praised masturbation as a great way of giving oneself sexual pleasure. How then did it make him feel peculiar? So nobody was willing to help after all? One day, when he went to church he heard the pastor preach against masturbation as a sin. His friend Drake had invited him to join him in his church. Being that, it was a lazy sunny Sunday. He quickly got dressed and joined Drake in church. Later, the pastor would ask those who felt like being born again to go to the altar to be prayed for. Being his first time to attend the church he saw nothing wrong with going to be prayed for. At least, the pastor would finally help him cure his abnormal lifestyle. After the prayers, Jake went home feeling a changed person and ready to live a normal life like all his peers. Actually that evening, he personally broke the news of engaging a lady that month. His mother finally, found a reason to smile but became doubtful until he one day saw two couples walk in his compound. She did not believe the two love birds could be his son and a beautiful lady called Sandra. The lady really seemed to be so in love with her boyfriend-Jake. How she wired her hands on her son's shoulder reminded Catherine of her husband. How romantic he was during their dating days. Later she would discover that her husband aroused her feelings a lot but failed to satisfy her completely in bed. She always wanted the husband inside her even more. The husband on the other hand would be snorting in deep sleep without a care in the world on what was going on his adjacent. She quickly rubbished the thought, perhaps it would turn on his son. She quickly prepared for them lunch and in their usual tradition. Jake pretended to be in a rush to pick something in town to allow the two ladies to have time to know more about each other.
When he returned the two were smiling at him. Whatever they had discussed, he believed it was good for him and them. Jake was pleased that his mother was getting along with her daughter-in-law; something unusual among many African women. Eventually, a wedding was called. Everybody was happy for Mama Jake (Jake's mother). Even Jake's father attended his son's wedding and left without saying a word to his wife. Years later, Jake would sneak to the bathroom to masturbate and his wife- Sandra would run to her mother-in-law. Jake was not performing bedroom duties…