10. Chapter 10

CARINA’S POV

When I looked at Maya, I saw in her one of the strongest people I knew and although her physical strength was cause for sighs, her emotional strength was inspiring and made me want her even more. I never liked people who were superficial and wanted to look perfect all the time, and when Maya started to open up to me - little by little - I was even happier to realize that there was a real person attached to that magnificent body.

It wasn't easy to think that for our relationship to work, we would both have to give up a little control; I enjoyed receiving pleasure as much as the next person, but when I stopped to think about it after the night I almost had sex with Maya, I realized that even when I have someone between my legs, making me moan, I try to exert some control over the situation and that wasn't what Maya wanted.

She wanted me surrendered.

I wanted her the same way, and I was more than happy when we talked at the station a few days ago during the snowstorm and she told me that she would be willing to compromise if I was too. It was the logical thing to do. It was the right thing to do. I would do it for her, even if it meant completely bursting the bubble of my comfort zone.

Now I was circulating in the kitchen as I picked tomatoes to make a homemade tomato sauce - my grandmother's special recipe - to make the lasagna I was preparing even more special. Cooking was therapeutic for me; I did things automatically while allowing my mind to free itself and my anxiety to dissipate with each cut of the knife.

After a few minutes the doorbell rang, and I had to turn down the fire cooking the tomatoes to check who was on the other side of my door.

-Andrea! -I smiled when I saw my brother. - What are you doing here?

-Not the kind of welcome I was expecting. - He laughed as I allowed him to enter the house. He was slightly wet from the light drizzle that was falling that afternoon. - It seems like ages since I've seen you!

-Don't exaggerate! - I rolled my eyes and let out a laugh. - You're a resident, you're the one who doesn't have time to come visit me, and you're always busy at the hospital following Meredith Grey's trail.

-Why do you pick on her so much?

-I'm not picking on her! I'm picking on you! - I slapped him lightly on the back of the head before brushing past him and heading for the kitchen.

-It's about time I started picking on you, too. - I went back to stirring the saucepan, but turned my head in his direction, raising one eyebrow in silent questioning. - Perhaps about your impending change of profession.

-What? - I asked back. - I'm not changing professions.

-Given how much time you spend inside Station 19, I thought you were considering quitting medicine and becoming a firefighter. - He laughed at my face and my cheeks burned.

-I don't spend much time there! I volunteered once and the other day I went there to do a favor for Travis, who wanted some tips on how to deliver a baby in case they couldn't get to the hospital in time. - I tried to defend myself, but the words came out fast and a bit slurred due to my nervousness.

-So, you went there strictly for professional purposes? - He asked.

-Yes. - I lied.

-So, you didn't see Maya there? - He asked again.

-She works there, Andrea! Of course I'll see her there.

-Okay, so you didn't kiss Maya either of the two times you were there for, you know, strictly professional purposes! - He squinted his eyes in defiance, he was expecting a confession, one that I didn't want to give and considered lying about, but as soon as I felt my face getting hotter and hotter I knew that my blushing was answer enough for his questioning.

Yes, there had been a kiss or two while I had visited her at the station for the second time, but it had been nothing too intense, just a tender rubbing of our lips, far from the passion behind our first kiss, or the night of our first date-and knowing how delicious her heated kisses were didn't help my self-control, there was always a little voice in my head urging me forward, but I was determined to take it slow.

-That's not relevant. - I tried to run away from the subject.

-You're falling for Maya! Just say it! - He laughed and leaned against the kitchen doorframe, crossing his arms against his chest.

-Andrea! -I groaned before moving the pan to the sink, next to the serving dish on which I would put the lasagna.

-What? Just admit it!

-There's nothing to admit. - I was tired of being the center of the subject of that conversation. - She is an interesting woman, and we are just getting to know each other, that's all.

-Carina, you don't get into the "getting to know each other" stage with anyone! That is huge! - He spoke behind me, and I couldn't tell if he was making fun of me or if he was really serious, and I didn't turn toward him to check. - Anyway! I came to tell you that I'm going away for the weekend, Nico and the other residents have asked me to go camping.

-It's freezing outside! - I quickly turned my head in his direction, interrupting my cooking process. - You'll lose a toe camping in this cold.

-Carina, I'm used to the weather in Seattle. It's you who needs to see the cold as your new normal. - I couldn't help the frown that formed on my face. - Although now you have a hot firefighter to warm you up, so I guess you won't be complaining so much about the cold from now on.

-Andrea! -I squealed as I was taken aback by his bold words, my brother hated it when I talked about anything that had to do with sex, I hardly recognized him after that sentence.

-I'm leaving! I'm leaving! - He raised both hands in front of his body in surrender while still laughing softly. - I'll see you Monday.

-Take care, and take blankets and warm clothes, and remember to close the tent before you sleep, and build a fire, and...

-Carina! Breathe, we'll be fine! If you don't hear from me in the next two days, it's because of the bad reception in the place. - He came over to me and gave me a warm but quick hug and kissed my temple before heading back toward the door. - And Carina?

-Yes? -I raised my eyes to his.

-I like her, you two are a good match. - He smiled sideways and, though embarrassed, I smiled too.

-Thank you.

As soon as Andrea left my house, I went back to my lasagna making process, I made each layer carefully, making sure to fill the dish just the way I liked it, and when I put it in the oven I decided I had enough time to get ready without rushing.

I ran the brush through my wet hair and stared at my reflection in the mirror as I plucked up the courage to start drying it, and as soon as my hair no longer dripped, I put on some warm clothes and went back to the kitchen.

Italians showed their affection through food, that's how I had been taught and that's what I would teach my bambino one day.

And there was one blonde in particular that I wanted to show a lot of affection to at all times, I thought so much about Maya that even when I was sleeping, she didn't disappear from my mind - quite the contrary, it was precisely in my dreams where my desires and fantasies came true while we took things slowly in real life.

I got into my car - Maya had finally accompanied me to a dealership and I had not taken long to choose it, I wanted a comfortable car that could be in my garage as soon as possible - and I made sure that the lasagna platter was properly placed on the seat beside me before I started it and headed toward Station 19.

-What is that smell? - Vic asked as she hurried down the stairs. Travis stood with a dreamy look on his face as he looked at the lasagna platter I had placed on the reception table.

-The Italian goddess came to visit and brought food! - Travis spoke excitedly to her. - Not just food actually, she wouldn't do this as a mortal, she made this lasagna from scratch!

-I have to agree with Travis, you can't be human! - Vic spoke, but her eyes remained glazed over the lasagna. - There's a piece missing.

-I know Maya doesn't usually come up to eat at the right times, so I separated a piece for her so she can eat it in her office if she wants. - I explained and hoped with all my strength that they wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

-You thought right, Maya is terrible at sleeping and eating while she is on duty with us. - Vic said. - Can we take this upstairs and devour it?

-Yes, of course! - I laughed when Vic and Travis clapped their hands together excitedly.

-Maya's going to yell at me for leaving the front desk alone, but this lasagna is worth the scolding. - Travis laughed.

-Maya will be too busy to even notice your absence. - Vic said back and I looked down to try to hide the little smile that was already threatening to appear. - Thank you, Carina!

-Thank you, oh great Italian goddess! - Travis spoke with exaggerated drama in his voice and I laughed.

-You're welcome, it's a pleasure for me to cook. - I replied.

-I think you'd better not repeat those words next to Miller and Jack, they're going to start abusing your good will. - Vic laughed and started up the stairs with Travis following her.

After making sure they were both upstairs, I walked to the door of Maya's office with the container filled with a few pieces of lasagna in my hand and slammed the door a few times before hearing her voice asking me to come in. I opened the door and just put my head inside, turning it sideways and letting my hair hang loose at my back as I gave her a smile.

-Ciao! - A rush of endorphins swept through my body as I saw the blonde raise her eyes from the paperwork in front of her and could see her bright blue eyes widen in surprise to see me there. I finally entered her office, and she was already dragging her chair back to stand up. - I had the day off today and made lasagna for you. Well, for the Station actually, since Travis and Vic hijacked the platter with the rest of the lasagna as soon as they had the chance. But when I decided to make it, I was thinking of you, so I think it's safe to say it was originally made for you...

-You're so cute when you're nervous! - She teased, approaching me with quick steps. - No need to ramble, I get it! And... Thank you for thinking of me, and for making the lasagna originally for me.

-We Italians show our affection with food. - I shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, but I felt my cheeks warming up at Maya's intense gaze.

-If your lasagna is as good as your French toast was, I'll have no choice but to kidnap you so that you'll live only to cook for me. - She joked, and I bit my lower lip in an attempt to contain a smile, but it slipped out anyway.

I wanted to hug her and smell her neck - she smelled really good - and I wanted to kiss her right then and there, but I didn't know if that was something she was comfortable with. After the conversation we had I feel that I am being much more careful about my displays of physical affection with Maya, I don't want to cross any of her boundaries now that I was a little more sure that the emotional part of our relationship was being developed.

It was easy to flirt with her before when we just instigated something carnal, but now there were feelings involved and we couldn't be too careful.

-Here. - I held out the container with the lasagna to her, finally breaking the silence and trying to put aside the thoughts that urged me to glue my mouth to hers.

-Thank you again. - She took the container from me. It was noticeable that she was as nervous as I was.

Maya looked at the canister for a few seconds, and then turned and left it on her desk before leaning over so she was now partially seated on the table - and my mind took me to bold possibilities, to say the least, with that scene, I hoped that one day that table would be used to satisfy my deepest desires - crossing her arms against her chest.

-That's kind of weird. - She laughed nervously. - I thought that talking would make things clearer between us, but I guess it just gets more confusing.

-We don't have to have all the answers now. - I understood very well what she meant, and the lines were blurring as we took steps forward. - But I like that we talked, don't you?

-Yes, of course! Of course! - She was quick to respond. - But I think we're in a different situation now, and I kind of liked it when we didn't have to walk on eggshells around each other all the time. I liked it when you just spoke your mind, without any filter, I always thought it was lovely.

-I want to kiss you. - I said as soon as she paused for air. I knew that she would start talking again, but I interrupted her by doing exactly what she had said. I spoke my mind, without a filter. - I want to kiss you so badly that it's hard to think of anything else.

-You can kiss me if you want. - She spoke softly, her eyes focused on my face, and I approached her slowly, without breaking eye contact.

-Now? - I asked and she nodded. - How about whenever I want?

-Yes. - She answered in a whisper so low that I was only able to hear it because I was literally inches from her face at the moment.

-Good. - It was the confirmation I wanted to feel more confident.

Maya was a grown woman - and from what I had gathered, a woman who knew her limits - so there was no reason for me to doubt or second guess what she was telling me. I had to trust Maya. Trust the signals her body was giving me. And in that moment, watching her blue eyes dart from my eyes to my mouth as I moved even closer to her body - as if that were possible - I knew she wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss her.

So, I did.

I kissed Maya with intensity, intoxicating myself with the numbing mixture that was her smell and her taste. Her soft lips molded to mine in a coordinated motion, we fit together perfectly, and when our hot tongues entwined, I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my throat. The middle of my legs throbbed and clamored for attention as my hands kept Maya close to me by holding her by the nape of her neck; I wanted to ignore my center, but her hands squeezing my waist pulling me to lean against her body was not helping with that process.

I moved my hands down to her strong shoulders as she sucked my tongue into her mouth - fuck, this woman would drive me crazy - and with each passing second, I surrendered even more to Maya.

-You smell so good. - Maya murmured against my skin as she moved her kisses to my neck. The warm, wet trail sending shivers down my arms. Her nose rubbed up and down against my skin as her mouth worked wonders. - It makes me want to devour you!

-Yes. - No questions had been asked, but I wanted to say "yes" to whatever Maya wanted to do to me at that moment. I no longer cared who would touch the other first, who would be the top, what I really, really wanted was for something to be done to satiate the need I had to be touched at that very moment.

When Maya's hands squeezed my waist even tighter before moving down to my hips, I moved my own hands from her shoulders down to her arms in order to feel her muscles contract under my touch - and she didn't let me down, the defined curves of her biceps making me even wetter.

-You're so strong. - I sighed, letting the comment slip out of my mouth without passing through any filter, and maybe Maya was right in saying that I didn't use that filter very often.

-Maya let out a low, teasing laugh, still nibbling and licking and sucking on my neck as I threw my head back, giving her more space.

Maya moved her hands down, running briefly - faster than I would have liked - over my ass before stopping behind my thighs and I didn't have time to process what was happening, I just gave a little yelp as she easily carried me over and spun us around. Now I was the one sitting precisely on her desk.

-Cazzo! - The curse word escaped as I gasped, still recovering from the abrupt movement. I spread my legs to accommodate Maya and pulled her by the back of the neck, but I didn't kiss her, I just looked into her eyes to speak. - You have to promise me that you will do that again and again.

-I promise! - Maya gave me a naughty smile, trying to kiss me again, but I moved the hand that was on the back of her neck to the front of her neck, squeezing the area lightly to stop her attempt to approach me, and she bit her lower lip as she felt the pressure of my fingers.

-You have to promise me that you'll use this strength of yours on me in the most delicious ways you can. - I whispered teasingly, my eyes glazed on hers, before leaning down and licking her lips gently.

-I promise. - She answered, closing her eyes as I squeezed her neck a little harder and ran my tongue over her lips again. - Shit!

I loosened the grip I had on her neck to slide my hand out across her front as I made my way to her waist.

-Bacciami, Maya. - I asked, and she obeyed. I think it was the one word in Italian that she had definitely learned after meeting me.

Her mouth was urgent against mine, her hands on my thighs went up and down repeatedly, and I abandoned my touch on her body for a moment so that I could support myself on the table before sliding a little further to the edge, thus allowing my body to literally be pressed against Maya's, and the pressure - albeit minimal - from her front against my clit made me moan audibly.

I wanted to make her kneel in front of me, order her to take off my pants and have her suck me like there was no tomorrow, but there were compromises to be made so I let Maya continue leading the kiss, nibbling on my lower lip for a few seconds before sucking it into her mouth and releasing it with a 'pop'.

-Let's go to my bunk. - She gasped as she kissed my neck.

I felt my body heat up, sweat dripping down my back, and I now hated the thick sweater I had chosen to protect me from the Seattle cold.

-Yes,. -I said quickly in reply. - Are you sure?

-Yes. - Maya was also quick to assure me that everything was fine and kissed me again.

I was no longer trying to hide the sounds and responses my body had to Maya, and I could hear Maya's moans of response when I let her know she was doing everything right. I felt Maya's hands go to the back of my knees and I lifted my legs to give her access to the back of my thighs anticipating - and hoping - that she would carry me.

ENGINE 19. AID CAR 19. - A loud, mechanical voice echoed around us.

-No! - Maya groaned audibly, closing her eyes tightly as she broke away from my body, and my reaction was to grumble softly at the lack of contact. - I have to go! I'm so sorry! I'm...

-Go! - I said begrudgingly. - You have to save people!

-I'm sorry. - She repeated, walking backwards toward the door. - Rain check?

-Why would we need to check the rain? - I asked, creasing my forehead.

-Can we continue this another time?  - Maya laughed as she moved closer to the door.

-Yes! Sure! - I smiled at the blonde. - Be careful.

-I will! - She smiled one last time before running out of her office.

My body was on fire and more parts of me than I could name were tingling from the heavy make-out session with Maya. I wanted more, the intense rhythmic throbbing between my legs left no doubt about that, but once again I would have to exercise my patience and wait for the right moment.

…

"I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly." - Maya's message had put a smile on my face.

I was lying on the couch with a thick blanket over my body as I watched a French movie that had recently been released on a streaming platform - it wasn't very good, but I wasn't in a position to be too picky, there was nothing else I could do on a Thursday night.

"I get it! Believe me, nature doesn't take scheduled appointments into consideration when it comes to labor, either."

"Thank you for understanding!"

I bit my lower lip, wanting our conversation to continue. It was always nice to talk to Maya, it warmed me up inside and I enjoyed wondering what her reactions were on the other side of her screen.

"I'm just sorry we were interrupted.... I was having a good time" - I didn't care if I was being too forward, I wanted her to know that I was more than happy to have her in my arms.

"Me too. I can't stop thinking about you, and how good your kiss is. I wish I could kiss you all the time."

"Come kiss me, Maya Bishop" - I answered quickly, feeling my heart beating faster, the movie already forgotten by me, and all my attention was directed to the three little dots waving on my cell phone screen.

"I wish I could! I still have eight hours of my shift to go, and you need to sleep. If I'm not mistaken, you work tomorrow!"

"But kissing you is so much more appealing than sleeping!" - I laughed at my own words and figured Maya would roll her eyes at my message and laugh too.

"I think so too, but you need rest to bring babies into this terrifying world" - Now I laughed at her words.

"You're right, and I hate to admit that. Let it be clear!"

"But we could do something after your shift…? Tomorrow night, I can pick you up from the hospital."

"What do you have in mind?" - I smiled foolishly at the cell phone as I waited for her answer.

"Honestly? You, naked in my bed. But I can settle for a movie and pizza?"

"I think I'll take the first option" - Too bold? I took a deep breath as I looked at the message that still needed sending and closed my eyes tightly as I hit the send button.

Those three little dots became instruments of torture, they appeared and disappeared, I knew Maya was lost in her words.

"Only if you want to and feel ready." - I sent the second message when I realized that I was probably causing Maya to have a stroke since it was taking too long for her to answer me.

"I think I am." - That response came quickly, and I was glad I had sent my second message, having freed her from propositioning me for sex in a second message.

"We can talk tomorrow and try it if you are comfortable. I don't want you to feel pressured."

"I feel desired."

"You are certainly being desired by me, Maya. And I trust you to know when you're comfortable to do something. I'm glad we're going to talk about it tomorrow.” - And nervous; glad and nervous.

"Me too! I'll pick you up at the hospital at 8:00?"

"Seven o'clock is fine, actually. I'll start a little earlier tomorrow."

"In that case: good night, Carina! Sleep well!"

"Good night, Maya! Try to rest, eat and be safe!" - That was the last message exchanged between the two of us that night and the smile on my face would be impossible to hide even if I needed to.

Tomorrow would be a great day!