ch 48- Better now

Mirik's POV-

I left the auditorium and went straight to the teacher's common room. There was only one teacher there, sipping her tea and reading a book. I asked her for a participation form and fill it out.

Handing it back to her I left and went straight towards the bus stop. The old me would have never taken a bus to go home but now every second was important to me. Looking at the kids fighting in the arena had taught me one thing.

I was underestimating them. I had never seen anyone fight before as the school prohibited fighting on school premises. Because I never took part in the tournaments I always thought that they were not that great.

I thought I was never bullied or anything because they thought I was strong but in reality, they were just thinking I was not worth their time.

The looks I thought were because they were afraid of me were just of disdain. I was always feeding my ego.

I reached home and threw my bag on the side. I took out the baton and started swinging and thrusting with it. I was training but my mind was somewhere else.

I stopped and put down the baton. I sat down in a meditating position and started meditating.

I thought about what my uncle had said. He was always right. I lost last time because I took it on my ego that I lost to someone. Who am I? A God?

Is everything supposed to be going by my accord? Why am I afraid of losing? I might be talented but what's the use of this talent when it goes nowhere.

I always learned everything quickly since I was just a kid. Everybody always praised me. Uncle used to say that my imagination was scary sometimes and he was right.

My imagination turned me the way I am. A kid who looks down on everyone. Who thinks that he is strong when he has just won once or twice in his entire life. I had more losses than wins, which made me think I was a big shot.

Tears came out of my eyes as I went on and on. It was sad the state I was in but it was the truth. Now that I was able to embrace my insecurity I felt a bit better than before.

Meditating felt good I didn't want to stop anymore. I kept sitting still, an orb floating above my head. I didn't notice at that time but something was going on inside my body.

Time flew away. But I was still sitting in the same position. Days went by but I didn't budge.

Finally, I opened my eyes. I tried standing up but my legs had gone numb. My head was feeling dizzy so I just lay down on the ground and soon drifted away into sleep.

The next time I opened my eyes my body felt refreshed and my mind was clear. All the negative thoughts had gone and only good things came to my mind.

I checked my phone to see the time and I was surprised. Only one day was left until the competition started.