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Fate/Whimsical God

—Fate Whimsical God— (Crack-fic) Some poor sod awakens in the void, accidentally wills himself into becoming a nigh-omnipotent god, then crash lands into the world of Fate before life had even sprouted on the planet. Author's notes: First of, I would like to say I'll probably write this while I'm sleep deprived, so don't expect this fic to actually have any semblance of quality. P.S: Indiscriminate gender-bending.

Dunnonia · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
6 Chs

CH1

Chapter 1: Becoming God.

"Well then, quite the predicament I found myself in." I whisper to nobody but myself.

My voice was met with nothing but silence, the utter blackness that encased my form remained muted, failing to even echo my words. Hearing no response from my imaginary audience, I laugh to myself. "Tough crowd."

"No, seriously, where the hell am I?" I twirl my head around to look at my surroundings, yet found nothing of note except the abyss I've somehow found myself inside of.

One moment, I was heading home from a long day at work, and in the next, I woke up in the middle of nowhere, quite literally.

"Did I die?" I mused while stroking my chin. Speaking of body parts, I can somehow still see myself despite having no light source to illuminate my form (Thankfully I still had clothes on).

To be honest, it wouldn't be a surprise to me if I had somehow collapsed out of nowhere. I've been overexerting myself for the past couple of years, and barely had time to take care of myself, so it was only a matter of time; which was now, apparenty.

"Now what?" Was I in the process of attaining eternal bliss or everlasting torment due to my sins?

I waited, and waited some more, but nothing out of the ordinary happened. I spun around, hopped on my toes, sung every song I've somehow memorized, and even danced in sheer boredom, but still, everything stayed the same.

"Am I in line at the DMV?" Were there too many souls waiting to be judged or something? Possibly, but my human psyche can't take anymore of this silence, I'd go mad before even reaching my turn at the council of Angels.

Like that, time whizzed by like a speeding bullet. After the first 48 hours (yes, I counted) I finally noticed that my bodily needs were nonexistent, nor did fatigue ever took its toll. There was only so many things you can to in a literal void, so I did my random activities at a much slower pace than usual to not lose my mind.

"—and that's ten thousand." Finishing my set of 10 thousand push-ups, I moved on to the next: a 60 minute full sprint. Which ended way too quickly than I realized. "This isn't working." My mind was beginning to numb, and panic slowly took its hold.

Another full set of 10 thousand push-ups later, I plopped down on the invisible ground and took my time to repair my toppling mindscape. My mental facilities were steadily failing me, my name was starting to become a blur, but I could still recall my first name, thankfully. "Leon… Leon…" I repeated it like a mantra in order to cement it in my brain.

"What the hell is even happening anymore." After days, months, years—I don't even know anymore, I finally took my first break from my never ending physical exercise. Perhaps I was looking at it the wrong way, maybe focusing on maintaining my state of mind is the better option instead of moving my body all the time. I'd still do my ten thousand push-ups every now and then, but my scattering mind takes priority.

"It'd be awesome if I can make stuff out of nowhere, it'll do my 21st century monkey brain a huge favour. Hell, I want this place gone, or at least changed to something more relaxing to be in." Nothing answered by ramblings—or so I thought.

After my words travelled across the empty plane, a splash of colour unexpectedly made its appearance. Red and orange coated the floor below me, yellow and green flew past the edge of my vision, blue and indigo covered the blank sky, and violet creeped into the horizon like the rising sun.

I briskly rose to my feet. But, before I could question what was happening, my mind was assaulted by a surge of pain coming in from all directions. However, before I could even release a grunt, the pain vanished as quickly as it appeared, leaving me in a state of confusion.

While wondering what had just occured, my brain finally registered what my eyes were currently seeing; a seemingly infinite land covered in jagged rocks and enourmous craters. My mouth went agape upon taking in my newly found environment. "What… the hell is this place?

Was I on the moon? Cause it sure does look like it. Lifting my gaze upward, I was even more surprised to see stars twinkling in the sky in contrast to the emptyness that surrounded them. Was I back on Earth? Glancing at my immediate surroundings, I concluded it to be Improbable judging from the fact that there wasn't any fauna laying about, only gray rocks and hazardous craters.

Taking a moment to adjust to my surroundings, I realized that the gravity of this place was similar to Earth, giving rise to a rather ridiculous theory into the forefront of my mind. 'Did I travel back in time?' It was laughable, but the evidence was - quite literally - right above me.

The moon orbiting the planet looked the exact same as the one on Earth, there were even some constellations I could recognize hovering over the night sky, and most important of all, other planetary bodies such as Saturn and Jupiter were visible to the naked eye. Since the moon was reflecting light, I can only assume there's a sun brightening the other side of the world.

"Now what?" Despite the unbelievable scenario I found myself in, I didn't let it overwhelm me and instead tried to think of what to do next. 

My body remained invulnerable, as evident by the fact I didn't instantly perish upon entering this underdeveloped world, but I needed to find out whether or not I possess other powers apart from my supposed immortality, lest I encounter a problem way out of my capabilities.

But then again, what kind of problems can an infant planet give me? "Don't jinx it, Leon." I immediately berate myself for tempting fate.

After many days of trying, and avoiding any potential tragedies that could befell my pitiful self, I finally figured out the entire scope of my newfound powers; I possessed a grand total of three. An underwhelming amount, some might say, but each one of them was enough to turn even the weakest creature into a god.

The first one I've discovered was the ability to simply remove anything out of existence, whether material or conceptual. If I want it gone, it will be gone. Yep, you heard that right. I wasn't just erasing stuff, but removing entire aspects of the universe itself on a whim. How'd I figured that out? Well, to be honest, I've completely forgotten it for some odd reason.

Don't worry about it. I fixed everything with my second ability.

Speaking of, numero dos: the power to create anything out of nothing, again, whether material or conceptual. Everything I removed in the pursuit of knowledge was brought back by this very ability. If I wanted it to appear, it will appear, no matter the complexities of the summoned object or idea. 

There was one time I had almost accidentally made myself a permanent fixture of the earth by spawning a gigantic Gundam over my head. Thankfully, I had managed to revoke its creation before being becoming one with the floor.

And finally, my third godly authority was the ability to augment, or alter how an existing object works. What it means is that I can turn even a mundane pebble into a mighty dragon if I just will it so. With all these combined, I might as well have created the universe (or was it the universe that created me?). Well anyways, the long-short of it was that I'm basically God, with a capital G.

Then, the words I had spoken before entering this primitive planet returned to me. "Are you serious?" I said in exasperation. Was the abyss just waiting for me to make a wish or something? My back slumped forward, before quickly picking itself back up. Well, no use mulling over it now that I'm free.

"Now then," Time to move on to my next agenda. "First up, plant-life." With nothing but a mental tug on my part, the world was immediately encased in a large variety of lush greenery, seas, and unique animals roaming the surface, underground, and even the depths of the ocean, completely skipping over millions of years' worth of evolution.

My next idea was to add creatures capable of manipulating the natural energy being pumped out by the planet itself, but placed that thought on hold for now in favour of something else.

"I need a place where these magical beings can roam free without worry of destroying the world." And so, I made just that. High above the clouds was an archipelago of floating landmass circling the entire planet like a natural satellite. It was completely invisible to the mundane, and only accessible to those who possess enough mastery over mana; the natural energy the world produces.

With that out of the way, I spawned just as many magical beings into the world without worrying about the consequences it might bring (not my problem). These creatures had an innate understanding on how to transport themselves into the "Reverse Side" - the name of the floating islands - of the world, so I didn't have to worry about them being unable to access it.

While contemplating my next actions, a dark shadow engulfed the area I was standing in. Pulling my gaze towards the source of the occurrence, my eyes were treated to the sight of not just one, but two big fuck-off dragons having a brawl in the sky, one covered in brilliant-golden scales, while the other draped in lustrous-purple.

"It hasn't even been a minute since you bloody came into existence." My internal clock hadn't even registered a full minute, yet two of the strongest species in the world were already vying for territory. 'Well, I guess it's only natural.' I dismiss any thought of intervening in their fight, they can do whatever they want.

The two flying reptiles resumed their assault at one another, paying no mind to their creator. They twisted and turned their bodies mid-air to gain better leverage over the other, yet it seemed the two were evenly matched. After a short while, the golden one managed to sink their claws into the other's wings, causing the victim to release an ear piercing screech that caused nearby trees to tremble like a frightened child.

Deprived of its ability to fly, the purple dragon unceremoniously barrelled towards the ground, while the other gracefully glided downward with its wings spread wide. The lustrous reptile collided with the earth with a loud boom, followed by tons of debris being juggled into the sky. A deep crater was formed with the fallen dragon in the center.

Taking advantage of its stunned state, the brilliant winged-lizard swooped in from above with its hind claws primed and ready. Claws met scales, and the former won; breaching through the scales like it was nothing, causing the defender's blood to spurt onto the ground, painting it red. Despite its ruined state however, it didn't back down and instead cracked its jaws wide to take in as much air as its lungs could before expelling it through its open mouth. A spark accompanied the beast's breath which quickly turned into a raging kindling of destruction.

"The fabled Dragon's Breath." I said to myself while observing the two. To be honest, it looked way cooler in real life.

Its mounter was quickly bathed in hellish flames that was hot enough to melt rocks in seconds. The sun-dyed lizard was quick to escape the heat by putting some distance between them, and only after properly orienting itself did the lustrous one halted its fiery breath. Smoke rose from the latter's mouth as it glared threateningly at their counterpart, the former on the other hand shook off the liquefied remains of its shiny scales like a wet dog, exposing their flesh to the elements.

In just one pivotal moment, the tables had turned in the other's favour, without the defense its scales provided, the golden dragon was greatly weakened. Deciding that enough was enough, it briskly propelled itself into the sky before dashing away in the opposite direction, leaving the purple one abandoned on the ground.

"And there you have it folks, purple dude wins." I announce the victor to my nonexistent audience.

The victor roared triumphantly, letting its superior prowess known to all. With that out of the way, the dragon rid itself of dirt and steadily climbed out of the crater, then weaved through the undisturbed forest.

I, on the other hand, was perched atop the tallest tree in the vacinity, watching the retreating beast with an amused expression. If not for my in-born invaulnerability, I wouldn't have observed the two fantastical creatures' destructive display from such a close distance. Every other animal in the area had already vacated their spot to avoid being killed by the dragons' fierce battle.

Following the lusterous dragon's retirement into the woods, I dropped down from my spot, picked a random direction, and walked forward without a second thought.

---

"Quite the predicament I've gotten myself." With a slight pull from my leg, the sturdy vines that entangled my legs came loose. All the while, short, green-skinned humanoid beings with pointy ears and rows of sharp teeth carefully strutted around my form. "Goblins, cool."

They were your streotypical goblins you'd find in any fantasy stories, except they were very much real and incredibly dangerous depending on who you're asking. Not to me, however.

"Well-well-well, quite the welcoming gifts you have in store for me." I spoke with unwavering confidence while scrutinizing my guests. They wore armour made of animal pelts, and held primitive tools made of sticks and stone. Their postures were hunched forward while brandishing their polearms, ready to pounce at their prey, in which case was me who was caught by their surprisingly competent trap (or was I the stupid one for falling into it?).

Anyways, after removing the thick vines off my person, I was immedietly assaulted by multiple sharpened rock-spears from four different diretions. However, instead of drawing blood, their state-of-art weaponry merely bounced off my tracksuit (yes, I'm wearing one. Fight me). Confusion swiftly washed over my assailant's ugly faces, before attempting to stab at me once again with renewed vigour.

"Yeah, how about a no." With but a flick of my wrist, the 4 goblins vanished from sight along with their equipment, the only proof of their existence being the crushed grass where they previously stood.

'Hm… maybe I should learn how to fight.' I thought my myself. To be honest, using my ability to remove stuff from existence gets boring after a while, perhaps I should try engaging in close combat? But before that, I should remove my invulnerability. Not fully, of course. 

After brainstorming some ideas, my apparent immortality was modified to my liking. I made it so that if I were to be killed, my body would simply appear to the most recent bonfire I've lit; Dark Souls style, baby. With nothing but a thought, my body was immediately encased in full-plate metal armour with a torn blue scarf draped around my neck, along with a finely crafted sword and shield strapped to my back.

With a feral grin hidden behind my medieval helmet, I spoke with an almost predatory voice. "Time to go hunting."

---

"Gods… be… dammed." I spoke between heavy breaths. My armour crackled as the eccentric electrical currents covering my entire form gradually fizzled out, freeing me from its paralyzing effects. Right after, my dented armour slowly mended itself, returning its misshapen form to normal.

Heaving my torso upright, I glace to my right to find my latest prey; an enourmous eagle with the power to manipulate lightning. A longsword was plunged halfway through its skull, and countless slashes, made by said weapon, were strewn all across its feathered body.

It had been 6 months since my arrival in this planet, most of it was spent hunting down various magical creatures and dying over a hundred times along the way. It was not for naught however, for I became quickly adept at utilizing a vast array of weaponry, from bladed weapons, polearms, bows, and even my fists.

Now, I could've just added the knowledge on how to handle such armaments into my brain, but where's the fun in that? There was one time where I was, quite literally, snapped in two after being snatched by an enourmous crab's claw due to inexperience. It wasn't fun.

At the moment, I stood before the mystical bird, which had killed me a total of 5 times (the most I've had to a single entity yet) before being felled by yours truly. As my gauntlet-clad hand grasped the hilt, a jolt of electricity unexpectedly travelled across the length of the sword and into my arm, numbing it for a brief moment. Even after death, the beast still attempted to harm its slayer.

Shrugging off the weak current, I proceeded to pull the blade out of the avian's head before returning it back to its scabbard. After retrieving my equipment, an idea popped into my head.

"What if I leave a few artefact and some ruins?" As mentioned earlier, it had already been half a year, and there was nothing to see apart from the landscape untainted by human intervention. Though undoubtedly a gorgeous sight to behold, it could use some more landmarks, so my plan was to add some interesting stuff wherever I went; Items and structures for people of the future to find, explore, and speculate about.

"Kiln of the First Flame coming right up." With that, my first project was set.

After finding a suitable area, I began construction of the renowned Kiln. Rocks appeared from nothingness and seamlessly took on the desired shape. I wanted to create the one from the first game, instead of the decrepit and melted version from the third, since it was more interesting. 

Soon after, the colossal structure was completed. Somehow, it had taken me more time to find a suitable place for it than actually making it. Oh well, no matter.

The Kiln of the First Flame appeared weathered, with countless rubble scattered all over the space, conveying its supposed age. Ash permeated the air, and sparks of ember popped in occasionally like fireflies to enhance the sombre atmosphere. The sight would no doubt enrapture those who lay eyes on it. 

It was a one to one recreation, except for a single glaring difference. The enourmous structure that was supposed to house the First Flame in its center was instead accommodating a coiled sword that exuded a fiery aura.

It was no ordinary blade, of course. Because within it contained the First Flame itself, albeit a weakened one on the cusp of regaining its power. If a sufficiently powerful person were to empower the sword by feeding it their life force, the Flame will unleash its full might upon the world and kick-start the age of fire, also known as the Age of Gods.

Stroking my chin, I contemplated whether or not to add the 4 Lord Souls, which didn't take that long at all. "Sure, why not." With a mere thought on my part, the four fabled Lord Souls were created. I sent two of it, the Witch of Izalith's and Grave lord Nito's, some distance away from where the Kiln stood, and summoned the living corpse of Gywn, whom possessed the third Lord Soul, to endlessly roam the place.

Unlike the game however, this empty vessel wasn't a pushover that can be easily defeated (we can't have that). Though he lacks the intelligence to make complex decisions, he possessed supreme strength and immense skills to back up his title as the God of Sunlight. Essentially, I wanted him to be the final hurdle to anyone vying for the Coiled Sword's power.

The last of the bunch, the Furtive Pygmy's Dark Soul, was kept safely on my person. Why? Because I want to personally give it to the first human I find on this still developing world. With that out of the way, I immediately vanish from my position before being noticed by the waking hollowed god.

"To the victor o'er the inaugural Lord of Cinder, may thy newfound godhood guide the realm unto prosperity."

---

"What might you be, good sir?" I ask the serpentine creature before me, and it replied by brutally ramming itself into my chest. My armoured self was thrown into the distance, crashing and breaking a few dozen innocent trees along the way, skipping between points of contact with the ground like a rock being tossed across a body of water, before finally skidding to a halt. 

A pained groan failed to even escape my lips before my consciousness ceased. I didn't die, I knew that much, but it certainly felt like it.

The damage to my equipment was minimal, but I couldn't say the same to my innards. A grand total of 36 bones were obliterated upon contact with my assailant, and an additional 9 were fractured during my less-than graceful flight through the dense forest. Don't worry though, the pain was already receding by the time I regained my consciousness. 

Colour flared around various parts of my armour, glowing an iridescent orange that produced a tinge of heat. On the inside, it felt as if I was taking a warm, relaxing shower. The injuries I sustained healed at a visible pace, my bones snapped back in place with a gruesome crunch, and my torn flesh was quickly sewn back together.

Beyond the wreckedge of the trees, my eyes spotted a thick limb rushing in my direction with palpable hostility. I quickly drew my greatsword off my back just in time to deflect the incoming attempt at my life, the branch was thrown off-course and swiped at nothing but thin air before retreating where it originated. 

Narrowing my gaze, I discerned that the wooden tendrils were connected to a nearby hollowed out tree.

As if stirred from a deep slumber, the hollow tree began to extricate itself from the ground, gradually revealing its full form. Its contorted body bore an eerie resemblance to skeletal appendages, stretching skyward and eclipsing the surrounding trees in height. Within the gaping hollow of its trunk, a maze of jagged, splintered wood awaited, reminiscent of a human ribcage that had been violently ripped open.

Scattered across its gnarled form lay the skeletal remains of various animals, as if the tree itself wore them as macabre garments. The sun's bright rays rested upon its twisted form, highlighting its ghastly appearance by ten-fold. 

The looming figure's sheer size dominated the surrounding, and from within its gaping trunk, a shrill screech erupted. Its piercing cry caused the nearby trees to tremble like a terrified child.

A frown made its way to my lips, not because of the suffocating presence it exuded, but the amount of negative energy it was releasing into the wild, resulting in all fauna within its vacinity to wither in seconds. Whatever this thing is, it was not part of the natural world. Well, not like that information matters to me (Let the people of this world deal with it).

"You know, that's not how how you should greet people." I spoke like a parent reprimanding their child's rude behavior.

The gigantic beast ignored my words and paced forward, crushing everything that obstructed its path. With each step it took, the ground shook heavily in response, throwing me off balance for a brief moment. Its movements were inconceivably fast despite its massive size, quickly closing the gap between us. 

Raising its leg high above, it cast ominous shadows over my figure before executing a resounding stomp.

Focusing inward, I will my heart to envelop my entire being with mana, granting me a momentary surge in physical strength. I bent my knees and crouched down before launching myself forward, evading its powerful stomp and landing right under the Living Tree's colossal figure. 

Brandishing my trusted blade, I swiftly deliver an array of cuts and slashes at its planted leg. A tearing sound ensued as my greatsword shred its thick bark.

I quickly retreated and scrutinized the area I had targeted. My short probing inflicted minor damage to the giant beast's bark, but it was clear that, given sufficient time and effort, I could bring it down with my current strength.

The sentient tree retaliated quickly, lifting its limbs skyward before delivering a fierce downward swing at my small form below. I held my greatsword overhead to block the incoming attack. A loud clang echoed throughout the forest as its limbs struck my blade. 

A suppressed grunt escaped my lips, and my legs folded due to its greater physical prowess. Exerting more strength into my arms, I push its limbs aside before executing a retaliatory strike. My bolstered physique was able to deal a modest amount of damage to it, but not enough to take it down.

The creature whipped and lashed with its animate branches, yet none had come close to grazing my body. Unfortunately for the beast, its massive size was but a hindrance in such an environment. Though its size might be seen as an advantage by the average person, for I who regularly dealt with monsters beyond my capabilities, it wasn't something to worry about.

I deftly maneuvered around the Living Tree's serpentine branches using the surrounding trees as cover, capitalizing on every opening I could find to deliver swift cuts and slashes.

As the creature thrashed, the impact of its flailing limbs sent dirt to erupt into the air. Using the billowing debris as cover, I rush towards the sentient tree's exposed legs, my blade arced through the air and sliced through its thick bark, servering its foot.

With one of its legs gone, it lost its balance and fell onto all fours with a loud crash, causing the ground beneath its fallen form to sink. With but a twist of my wrists, I guided my weapon towards my foe. Suddenly, an ear piercing screech abruptly erupted from within its hollow trunk.

A thick rootstock suddenly extricated itself from the ground and took hold of my arms, halting my ensuing attack. Seizing the opportunity, the beast moved one of its limbs and struck my rooted figure, flinging me deeper into the woods. While sliding across the ground, I stabbed my blade into the soil to halt my roll, and with a push of arms, I regain my footing. 

From beneath the injured beast's form, countless robust roots began appearing and rapidly snaked towards my direction, their intentions clear as day. Brandishing my greatsword, I cut and slice through the sea of serpentine roots while steadily narrowing the distance between the living tree and I. Though it had caught me by surprise, it would not work a second time.

I stomp a wooden tendril that burst from below and turned my attention back to the unnatural beast. Roots began attatching itself onto the tree's severed limb and a new leg slowly formed. Not wanting to give the creature a moment of respite, I bent my legs and leaped towards it.

Landing beside of the kneeling beast, I threw an overhead swing in attempt to slice its contorted head off, the tree quickly raised a limb and successfully intercepted it.

I swiftly withdrew my weapon and executed a flurry of heavy strikes at my opponent, and to my surprise, its injuries mended itself at a visible pace. The beast had unexpectedly gained an unparalleled amount of vitality, far outstripping the damage I could inflict, rendering my attacks ineffective after a short while.

All the while another problem arose, the Living Tree had started using the surrounding root system as its own, depriving me of the trees' protective cover and forcing me to exit the dense forest into an open field.

Being faced with a dilemma, I delve deep in thought, searching for ways to eliminate the beast. If this continued, my stamina would be completely drained before I could bring it down. In time, my mind pieced together a rather straightforward plan. 

"Joseph Joestar special technique." I leaped backward to place some distance between us. "RUN!" Then swiftly bolted towards the opposite direction without looking back, abandoning the raging beast to its own devices. It might be fast relative to its size, but it could never surpass the renowned Joestar family technique. 

CH1 END.

—Status—

True name: Leon.

Aliases: The Creator.

Master (-)

Class: (-)

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral.

[Parameters]

Strength: B+

Endurance: C

Agility: A

Mana: B

Luck: E

[Class Skills]

Magic Resistance = C+

Bonfire's blessing = EX

[Personal Skill(s)]

Master combatant = A

Instinct = A

Mind's Eye (True) = B+

Mana burst = A+

[Noble Phantasm(s)]

True Destruction (Sealed) = (-)

True Creation (Sealed) = (-)

True Augmentation (Sealed) = (-)