5 I Understand

Fuyuki (Scorched), Japan,

Al habitually rubbed his hand against his lab coat before casting a sideways glance at the man standing near him with his arms folded and eyes closed. He was resting against the wall and seemed to be contemplating something, "Where are we?" The medical officer asked in all seriousness, still inwardly praying that this wasn't to be his new reality.

"Fuyuki, Japan... I ain't got much to tell other than that." The strangely dressed blue haired man replied, opening his eyes to reveal scarlet pupils.. A strange combination with his blue hair and tall, well-built figure covered by robes of some sort, he'd originally been wearing a hood but had taken it off once he was certain the one armed human wasn't hostile.

"Fuyuki..." That explained it, the blue haired man resembled a figure he remembered rather vividly, sure his clothing was a bit different but this was the Irish Hercules...., "Mario Mario."

"....The fuck you say?"

"Ah.." Al awkwardly cleared his throat, "This is an unexpected meeting.." He slightly grinned, raising his hand to fix his glasses, "How can someone be genuinely proud of being called a dog?"

"Oi, it's neat that ya recognise me but don't go thinkin' that gives you the right to make fun of my damn name, one armed freak." 'Mario Mario' tilted his head, holding up his wooden staff against the confused medic's neck, not lowering it even when the man raised his hand in surrender, "And it's Cu Chulainn, stop calling me that weird name."

"How does that differ from what I said?"

"You said Mario Mario!"

"That's what you said though?" Al tilted his head 'confusedly', having identified the servant that could potentially set him on fire and go to some other human for magical energy to maintain his existence..

"No, you said Mario Mario, I said Cu Chulainn."

"I just hear Mario Mario two times.."

"...You fuckin' with me?"

"What?" Al appeared genuinely estranged by the servant's actions, to the point where the Hound of Ulster, only for a fraction of a second, wondered whether he was the one saying something wrong.

Of course their conversation wasn't one you would expect people to be having in the middle of a burning city, surrounded by human bones and rusted weaponry..

"....Can we please be serious, Mario?"

"...You're not gonna stop are you?"

".....Stop with what?"

"...." Cu Chulainn wanted to punch the obnoxious magus for his blatantly stupid wording but ended up sighing, "The fact that you're an ass aside, you seem to have something to stand on." Him being called Mario was strange but ultimately harmless, the raven haired man's was even a breath of fresh air compared to his previous 'company'... That and Cu had noticed him the moment he arrived and seen how he dealt with well over a few dozen skeletons by himself, without even breaking a sweat.

"So... medical assistance?"

"You got some weird medical boner or somethin'? You know I'm a servant."

"I'm of the belief dogs often lack a sense of self preservation when given something to protect."

"You callin' me a dog?!"

"You introduced yourself as the Hound of Ulster, I'm being respectful." Al was confusion at that moment.

"Ugh... The first dude I come across and he's got a few screws loose." Cu Chulainn facepalmed, groaning in annoyance... but wait, didn't all magi have a few screws lose? So in the end, was it his fault for approaching him?

"I would argue the one proudly calling himself a dog is the dumbass."

"....Alright alright I get it smartass, drop the stupid shit already."

"What stupid shit?"

"Ugh.."

Cu Chulainn wanted to choke the man to death.

"Heh."

"You're doin' it on purpose!"

"No shit.." Al chuckled before laughing and patting the blue haired servant's shoulder, "Thanks, needed that." Going off on a tangent and messing with the man somewhat dulled the severity situation he was in, with no access to any technology and no semblance of awareness about his surroundings... Yeah, life became dull as all hell all of a sudden, not to mention the metal shards firmly lodged in his back.

"S...Sure?"

-

"So you're telling me, the Grail War went to shit somehow and humans completely disappeared. There's six other corrupted servants rampaging in the city, the city being nothing but scorched Earth for the most part?"

"Pretty much."

"All this happened only some time ago?"

"Yep."

"...Screw this world."

"Gonna cry?"

"Screw you too."

Al ran his hand over his face, closing his eyes as he soaked in the situation.. There was a chance the servant was lying but the medic seriously doubted it, his gut told him so and it hadn't led him astray yet... Though, this also meant someone was fucking with time didn't it? Why did this verse have such an abundance of people who could do that?

"Heh.." Cu stared down at the human magus with folded arms, a smug grin on his face.., "How's it feel tastin' your own medicine?"

"Not now, Mario."

".....Asshole." The Caster sighed to himself, why couldn't the only remaining human be a hot chick instead of a dude? How was he supposed to salvage this situation with a master that lacked an arm? ... Still, he didn't have a choice in the matter, "If you think I'm bullshittin', enter a contract with me.."

"You say that like you don't need it at all."

"I don't!" The Hound of Ulster growled defiantly.

".....Even a kid knows how servants work...." Al deadpanned, scratching his neck in thought... As a servant, Cu needed a Master to supply magical energy to sustain his continued existence and access to some semblance of his actual combat prowess. Well, he could always just lay down and die.

If his words were true, the six other servants would welcome the opportunity.

"A contract sounds good, I'll be your Master." Holding out his hand, the raven haired magus couldn't help but feel a bit excited, servants were one of the main selling points of the Fate franchise and this would technically be his first one..

"For what it's worth, I'd have preferred Medusa or something."

"....I'd choose a bombshell over you any day of the week too, asshole."

The two men shook hands, conjuring up a master servant contract in those few moments what with neither of the two being even slightly inadequate when it came to magecraft practise. The contract would do as it said and bind them together as Master and Servant minus the command seals seeing as Al wasn't a registered Master.

Before they could talk any further, Cu sniffed the air and abruptly turned his head in a seemingly random direction, "Well, would you look at that, someone ran into the skeletons again, is it humans popping out of thin air day or something?"

"That's probably the kids. Tell me where they're at."

Cu Chulainn noted a distinct seriousness in the doctor's voice and responded accordingly, understanding that the 'kids' held some kind of importance, "Come on."

Thankfully, the source of the 'noise' wasn't that far off and the two men arrived at their destination in a matter of minutes, the sight that greeted their eyes was certainly... something.

Mash, armed with a massive cross shaped shield and covered by armour Al would say was very inappropriate for a girl her age, was absolutely decimating a wave of skeletons charging at them by spamming shield bash while Ritsuka Fujimaru stood a small distance away, relaying orders and notifying the girl of blind spots.

"Ansuz!"

Shouting the name of a rune corresponding to combustion, Cu shot several massive balls of flame at the skeletons.. The things didn't even get a chance to resist as the flames reduced them to ash that disappeared with the wind.

Of course Cu failed to notice the 'doctor' staring at the rune he'd used with narrowed eyes, his pupils glowing blue only for a fraction of a second before returning to their original deep black colour.

"What?" Mash raised her head and looked around, awed.. She'd been having trouble and someone just blew the things away so casually? ...A bit of looking later she noticed Al making his way towards her and her senpai.

"Doctor, You're alright!"

A happy smile formed on the usually unresponsive demi-servant's face.

She also completely ignored the presence of Cu, even though he was walking right behind Al.