Gil-kun and the Martian

"My name is Michael Valentine Smith. And I'm a stranger in a strange land."

"Oh no! Gross! No way! Let's go, everyone!"

"Yeah, I agree."

"Let's go."

"Huh?! Wait! Where are you going guys?"

"We're not interested in talking with someone like you?"

"Someone like me? What's that supposed to mean? Is it because I was raised by Martians?"

"Don't embarrass yourself any further, fool."

"Wait guys, I really don't unders- oh, is it... is it the sex cult?"

"..."

"And the... let's say... omophobia..."

"..."

"And the cannibalism..."

"You don't need to list everything."

"Ok, ok, listen. I only have so much freedom as a character. I can assure you that getting stoned to death and getting to grok the real world and what really happened has been very eye-opening."

"Yeah, well, goodbye."

"Wait, please! I don't grok this place! It's so weird! I saw people with dogheads and people worshipping horses while eating others after having killed them! Not to mention, big golden cities everywhere!"

"And how exactly did you see all that?"

"I can go into astral form as one of my base abilities."

"And where did you see all this?"

"I don't really remember, it's just miles and miles of deserts, plains, rivers... also I deleted most of what I saw."

"You what?"

"It scared the shit out of me, so I deleted it!"

"So you're telling me you can just delete anything you don't like?"

"It depends. Objects and normal people, yes. Servants, not so much. Which makes this even more weird, because those people weren't Servants! What the hell were they? I don't grok!"

"Well, I suppose I must thank you, mongrel, for making our job easier. Anything else we should know?"

"Uhm... a yes, there was this mountainous area, with a big castle, and inside there was this old man, who was the leader I guess. And they did... ehm, you are familiar with the book in which I appear? Well, pretty similar... but they are like, a group... I suppose a religious group, and they are also armed. I'd say they're like assassins. Well, anyway, I got so creeped out I didn't even try to delete them."

"I see. Then farewell, mongrel."

Gilgamesh said as the chariot took off once more. However, Michael was still able to move alongside them.

"Remember? Astral form?"

"Go away, we don't you or your sex cult!"

"I'm not trying to start a sex cult!"

"You have annoyed me enough, mongrel!"

"Please, I'm begging you!"

"Maybe we should listen, Goldie!"

"Impossible, I already have a moron with me, I don't need two."

"Well, I'm not going away!"

"That would have been the wisest choice, mongrel."

Gilgamesh said calmly as he took out from his Gate a kind of gourd or vase and he opened it.

Michael's body started warping and becoming more and more fluid-like and ethereal.

He started getting sucked into the gourd.

"What the hell is thiiiiiiissss..."

He asked to no avail as the King of Heroes closed off the object he was currently inside of.

"What did you do to him?"

"I sealed him."

"Fine by me."

"And what? You just keep him there?"

"I shall see, perhaps I shall discard it somewhere. Although, if some beast or peasant were to break this seal, this mongrel might chase us again. Best to keep it inside my vault now."

It was dark. Dark dark. As in no light at all dark. And so quiet that the silence was defeaning. He had no idea where he was. He coulldn't feel or sense anything. It was as if he was swimming in nothingness. It was truly a dreadful and terrifying experience.

"This sucks... I just wanted to not be alone, for once... well, I guess I can't give up, people from Earth are never very trusting of each other, otherwise wars wouldn't be a thing. Now, let's see what I can still do..."

His powers were completely nullified. It was as if he couldn't use his first Noble Phantasm, Man from Mars. However, there was still something he could do.

Although one can astrally project himself, the bond between spirit and body is still incredibly powerful. It's a law of nature. Where the soul walks, the body walks with it. And so, despite everything else being shut down, Michael could still feel that somewhere out there his body was laying on a dune, probably. And so, with every bit of power he had, he started moving it telekinetically, very slowly, as one would move a puppet, towards where he currently was.

From the outside, it was as if a zombie was walking around in the middle of the desert. Truly a sight that was not out of place, in the land of Marvels that was once roamed by an ambitious merchant.

A few hours later...

"It's getting dark, I think we better stop travelling for the night."

"Why? We can still travel while asleep."

"There's no point in having such a rush. Assuming the ones we are following are by foot, going too far with this chariot won't do us any good, Galter."

"Mmm, I see."

"Also, sleeping while seated is not very comfortable, is it, Goldie? Nor very befitting of a king!"

"... Alright, let's stop for now."

Gilgamesh called off the chariot and they started a bonfire.

"Nancy isn't here to make us something..."

"I'm sure she's having a great time feeding those morons back there. Anyway, we shall eat what is contained inside my vault, that is, the most delicious food to ever be."

He said, extracting some wine and a few yellowish, solid shapes and distributing them.

"What's this, Galter? Some weird clay that takes the form of whatever you like most?"

"Bread."

"Oh, I see." Salter said, slightly disappointed.

"Well, what matters most in a banquet is not the food, but those who you invited! Let's raise our cups for our adventures so far, for the ones that await us, and for our comrades that were left behind!" Nero exclaimed cheerfully.

"There's no need to shout this much, mongrel."

"Umu, you're always complaining!"

"It's called having some standards!"

"Well, then may I introduce you to the idea of lowering your standards?"

"Why would I accept a mongrel's mongrel ideas?"

"Do you want to toast or not?"

"Fine. Let's do so then."

The had a toast and drank and started eating.

"What? Bacon? Ketchup? Onions?"

"Mmm, this bread really tastes like seafood, that's great!"

"Why does your bread taste like this?"

"I never said my bread wasn't special."

"... I see... so it takes the flavour of one's favourite dish."

"Indeed."

"Thanks."

"Don't be flattered. If a king gives a reward or a gift to someone, those must be the best he possesses. A poor gift is the worst demonstration of power a king could ever make."

"Well, at least you aren't stingy, just asocial."

"I'm not asocial!"

"You have no friends."

"Don't say that, Salty! Even the most social people might have no friends! A friend is an extremely precious gift that anyone can have, and that many long for!"

"Well, regardless, he doesn't have any-"

"I said don't say it." Nero said with a serious stare.

"... Ok."

Gilgamesh looked at her, wanting to feel offended by the suggestion that he would need friends, however he couldn't help but, deep down inside, agree with her sentiment, the memories with his one friend flashing through his mind. 

"In any case, Goldie, even if it might be true what Salty says, you mustn't worry."

Nero said, regaining her smile as she stood up.

"If no one else will want to, I'll be your friend, umu!"

She shouted as fireworks exploded in the sky behind her.

Gilgamesh was unable to not be transfixed for a moment by that sight, the beauty of the scene in front of him stunning even the King of Heroes.

Salter also couldn't help but think back to memories of her own, of that crucial moment in her life after her life, in the last Holy Grail War.

The one to set the two of them free from their trance was none other than Nero herself, as she was surprised by the fireworks and turned around.

"Wow! Look, everyone! So pretty! Their coming from afar! From that golden city over there!"

They all stood up to look at that spectacle The lights started from the city, shining bright enough to look like fallen stars, before leaping into the sky at great speed and exploding in a fiery blaze of colours. They didn't speak. There was no need to.

Finally, the show ended.

"We shall head there."

"It's pretty far."

"We can first stop in that other golden palace and from there reach it. The two of them aren't too separated and with top speed we should reach by the end of tomorrow our destination."

"I see, that's a plan, I guess."

"I second it! I wonder if mochi is also gold there!"

"Why would that be your first question?"

"Do you have golden mochi, umu?"

"I... I don't know..."

"Still, Galter, do you think that those cities are Noble Phantasms like Nancy's diner?"

"Hard to say. I can tell that something about this place as a whole is definetely amiss. Almost as if it was created by someone else other than the World itself."

"Well, that's surely food for thought, Goldie, but can we sleep now, umu?"

"Yeah, I do not wish to stay in this desert for forever. Here, I refuse to sleep on sand, so we shall sleep on these beds."

"Thanks, Galter."

"Thank you, Goldie!"

"I told you not to thank me."

"Yeah, but if we didn't, you would complain and whine about it."

"Perhaps..."

"Ok, ok, goodnight everyone."

"Night."

"Don't sleep too heavily, mongrels. But not too lightly either."

They woke up next day, their bodies, thouroughly restored.

"Mmm, that was the best sleep I had in a long time, umu!"

"These beds are really comfortable."

"Obviously, they are my beds, after all. Let's waste no more time here. We shall start our journey again immediately."

"Fine, umu! Wait... why is a body laying on the sand next to the fire."

"Wait... that looks like..."

"That mongrel from before."

The body sat up suddenly.

"Freaky!"

His lips started moving, along with his tongue.

"Oh, sorry, guys, I didn't mean to scare you! Moving my body telekinetically from wherever I am now is difficult to do precisely, especially for several hours. Now- ehm, what was that? I felt an opposing force go against my body- did... did you guys stab my body?"

"That was my warning for you, mongrel."

"Oh, come on, guys! You're the only people I have met! I mean, there was this one blonde chick, but she was too far away and she ignored my astral projection..."

"What? You met a blonde woman?"

"Well, yeah. I don't really know where she was heading, but I gave her directions to avoid the worst spots that I saw while moving around and-"

The eyes of Michael suddenly opened. It was a weird feeling, all his senses starting to get stimulated at the same time after a long period of nothing. He looked around and saw that Gilgamesh had opened the gourd, therefore he was back in his body.

His initial excitement was so great that it made him momentarily forget about the sword lodged in his shoulder.

"You will give us the exact same directions you gave that woman, and guide us through the same path. That's an order, mongrel."

"Well, of course! I'm really glad you came ar- ouch, ow, OW... AHHH, SHIT! IT REALLY FUCKING HURTS!"

One medical session later, they were ready to ride through the desert, with Michael staring out of the windows, doing his best to remember the right road.

"Did you really free him and trust him so easily?"

"I don't trust anyone. He's merely someone useful for my objectives, if he walks out of line, I'll eliminate him without a second thought."

"Does that apply for us too, Goldie?"

"... why... shoudn't it?"

"Because we're friends, remember?"

"I don't have any friends apart from one, nor do I need any more."

"Oh come on, umu! I'm sure you care about us! We slowed you down and opposed you in multiple occasions, and yet you're still here with us."

"... don't irritate me so much in the early morning."

"Haha, see, I knew it, I knew it!"

"Cut the annoying comments, Nero. You're giving me a headache."

"I know that the same applies for you, Salty! No need to hide it. You even started calling me by my name!"

"It's just a force of habit."

And so they rode on, not knowing that, far from them, a golden humanoid figure was spying on them.

In the great golden city of Shangdu...

A man in a full set of armour walks around the prosperous city, full of merchants and guards, a symbol of the power held by the great ruler of the empire. He grins, seeing those individuals as nothing more than puppets and knowing the secret behind who is pulling the strings in the whole territory. 

He enters the pompous palace, accompanied by guards and Buddhist monks, along with other men of power, all dressed in expensive and stunning oriental clothing.

He reaches the throne room, where a woman in her thirties, with a very mediterrean look and with an outfit that is very clearly from a different region of the world and that enhances her voluptous figure, which complements her seductive stare and her tempting smirk.

"Greetings, Empress of Catai!"

"I welcome you, Ruler of El Dorado. Unfortunately, my dear husband Kublai Khan is still fighting a brave battle with a serious illness, so I'm afraid I'm the only one you can speak to."

"That is no problem, after all, this is a personal matter that I wish to share with you."

"Oh, really? Very well. Then, if the people in this room be pleased, could they give us a minute alone?"

They all bow and leave the two alone.

He turns his back to her and starts walking around, examining the room.

"All these formalities are truly ridiculous."

"Now, now, formalities and rules are very important. And useful. They force everyone to wear a mask and to enter a play. And in the end, the ones who win are not those who act more naturally, but the best actors. Don't you agree, general?"

The woman giggled, widening her grin as her head was slightly tilted and rested on her hand.

"I find the use of force most ideal, Poison Empress."

The man quickly brushed off the question, looking at a porcellain vase with moderate interest.

"Of course you do. Speaking of which, since my husband really isn't feeling well, would you be so kind to stay and keep me some company?"

She said, turning around and laying sideways on her throne.

"You should now by now that the only relationship I wish to establish with you is one of mutual personal benifit, nothing more."

"Serious men are no fun at all... if you don't abandon yourself to some pleasure, greater problems than me will arise, good sir."

She said in a calm and magnetising voice, as she turned around again, her feet on top of the seatback and her upper half protruding upside down from her seat as she extended her hands and, with a gentle and repetitive movement of her left index, invited the man to come closer.

"One of my subordinates spotted a group of Heroic Spirits heading this way. They'll be in my city in two days at most."

"So that is what you count as personal matters? What a disappointment..."

She commented with a light and elegant chuckle as she assumed a prone position.

"That's not all. From the description you gave me, I have a good reason to suspect that one of them might be your offspring."

"Oh... haha... hahaha... hahaha..."

The woman kept laughing and giggling, momentarily breaking character, until she was able to get a grip of herself.

"I see... that really makes things interesting... how nice... my son coming to visit me after all this time... I shall remind him who put him in the position of a ruler. Oh, I'm so glad! He'll definetely be a useful tool to our cause, I can assure you!"

"So when they arrive, can I expect you to lend me a hand?"

"Of course, general! Regarding this personal matter, and if it is to help you out, I'm more than willing to do that!" 

She concluded as she slowly raised her body, standing up and walking down the stairs in an elegant but decisive manner, gently swaying her sides and moving small locks of hair away from her face, raising her arms above her head as she slowly walked past the man.

She turned around when she was one meter behind him and looked him in the eyes while still smirking.

"If you steal my prey, I'll make you pay, general. You don't want to end up like the emperor, do you?"

"I certainly don't, and that's exactly why I keep my distance from you and the reason I'll take my leave now. I shall warn you when they are about to arrive. For now, farewell, mischievous Empress."

He said, turning around and walking past her, towards the gate. She pulled her hair behind her left ear with her left hand and brought her right fingers to her lips, touching them ever so slightly, her smile never leaving her face.

"Farewell, Hernan Cortés, Conqueror of the New World."

Later that day...

In a small and modest wooden cabin in a region that greatly resembles the vast Mongolian plains, a man and his friends are laughing, playing and drinking, living happily in their own little world. He laughs to the fullest and smiles so much the muscles of his face hurt. He can't stop sketching everything around him. 

Not with a pencil, not with a drawing, but with the colours themselves. He loves to represent how things appear to him in that split moment. He loves to paint... impressions.

Paintings of water lilies adorn the interior, along with depictions of everyday life and activities and numerous paysages.

The man enjoys his newfound life as much as he can. He hears some footsteps. Someone is approaching the cabin. New friends have arrived.

He stands up, grabs a bottle of wine, and opens the door.

"Greetings, travelers! I welcome you in our little great home!"